First of all, I'd like to state that this has absolutely nothing to do with 'The Three Magic Knights'. Secondly, I'd like to say, that this is indeed a self insertion story, but it is a parody of a particular style of SI that I've been seeing a lot of lately. You'll pick it out pretty quickly as you read, and please keep in mind that this will not be a normal SI as can be attested by my numerous other works. All of which received excellent reviews and most of which were at least nominated on 'The Best of Ranma Fanfic Awards.' Now that I'm done bragging here's my story.

The Three Saotomes.

Part 1

Here's Genryu.

Carrot walked down the beach watching the sunset in the distance with a pleasant smile on his face. It had been a wonderful day for him on his vacation and he simply strolled alone down the now vacant shores of the small tropical island in the Florida Keys. He was currently on vacation from his job in Jacksonville and was simply relaxed.
He was twenty-one years old and relatively tall, not muscular though. His hair was an unruly mop of short brown hair with long bangs that almost touched his eyes. He sighed contentedly and stared out into the now crimson waters of the ocean breathing deeply. Until...

"Ow! Son of a..." He hopped on one foot and jumped up and down holding his stubbed toe cursing loudly ruining the beautiful effect of the scene for any casual passer by. With a resigned grunt he seated himself on the sand and glared at the offending object.

It was partially buried in the sand, the corner of a small brown chest of some kind, long rusted from years in the sea poked from the ground. He lifted the object up in his hands and dusted it off casually. "What the hell is this?" Without thinking he pulled at the lid, surprisingly, it opened easily revealing an empty interior. "Useless." He tossed it over his shoulder back onto the beach and tried to calm down as the sun vanished behind the waves.

"Ow! What the hell did you throw me for?" said a feminine voice behind him.

Carrot turned slowly around and stared in awe at the sight before him. A beautiful young woman no more than a year younger than him stood staring at him angrily. She was dressed in a simple white robe that seemed to flow around her barely covering her body in the most important places. She had long dark hair that flowed down to the middle of her back and a dark exotic skin color. "Who the?"

It was as far as he got before a mallet slammed into his head. He slumped down into the sand with his vision fading away and tears forming in his eyes as he struggled to stay awake. The physics of getting hit with a wooden mallet are a bit different in reality than anime. After several moments of rolling in the dirt waiting for the intense pain in his head to subside enough for him to speak he struggled back to his knees.

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"You've got two choices mister. You freed me from my prison, and now I can return to the fairie realm. On two conditions, one that I give you a wish, and two being that I marry you. You can have one or the other. If you don't pick the wish I guarantee that your head will hurt a lot more," snapped the girl sharply.

"Why the hell didn't you just say that!?" he retorted. "I could have been killed!"

"Well, I guess that makes your choice pretty clear doesn't it?" snapped the girl with an evil looking smile.

"Yeah, yeah, why don't you just call me 'Ranma' you mallet happy uncute tomboy," grumbled Carrot under his breath. He didn't like the look the woman got on her face when he said this.

She got a huge grin on her lips and pointed at him dramatically. "Granted!"

"Oh shit." It was all he could think to say before his world went black.

Genma looked down in his wife's arms at his son and beamed proudly. "It's a boy!"

"Yes dear, you can stop saying that now," said Nodoka with a withered and tired look on her face. She was also blushing in embarrassment.

"'s a boy!" repeated Genma.

"What shall we name him?" said the woman as she attempted to change the subject.

Her husband blinked and looked down at his son's face. "We'll call him...Ranma!"

"Such a manly name!" agreed Nodoka with an approving nod.

Carrot looked up at the huge face that stared down at him. "Did you hear that? You're name is Ranma."

He, of course, could only think of one thing; despite the fact that he could not say it. "Oh, shit."

Eighteen years later...

Soun lay on the ground passed out as a young redhead looked at the ground in embarrassment in the doorway of his home. A large giant panda stood behind her watching the scene with what appeared to be amusement. The girl played with her pigtail with her fingers and blushed deeply. "Uh, I'm Genryu Saotome, sorry about this."

"Oh my, you're not Ranma?" said Kasumi with a relieved look on her face. Strangely enough the other two girls looked somewhat disappointed.

"Uh, no," said the girl sheepishly. "Ranma's my older brother, he'll be along soon."

The three girls looked at her in silence and said nothing for a long moment. Finally Nabiki spoke up. "Is he cute?"

A short time later Soun sat across from Genma in a small room inside the home alone. "I had forgotten you had another child Saotome."

"Yes, my son Ranma should be along anytime now. He's old enough to train on his own now, so he goes on trips from time to time," said the larger man with a deep frown.

"I see, it is indeed tragic that you are cursed my old friend," said Soun sagely.

"Tragic indeed." With that said the two men merely sat across from each other in silence.

In the dojo Akane stared wide-eyed at the girl standing before her. She stood cheerfully in a relaxed position and smiled at her. "What the?" She charged forward again only to have Genryu duck under her blow and stick her arm out catching her lightly in the gut. At least that's what she thought had happened, she never really saw the strike.

Genryu stepped forward casually and Akane retreated with her arms up in a defensive position. She saw the redhead's arms blur for a moment and staggered back as she avoided the blows. "Not bad," commented the redhead.

"Y-you're amazing," stammered Akane in shock. "I'm just glad you're not a boy."

The cheerful look faded from the girl's face and she turned away. "You really shouldn't say things like that..."

Akane stepped back and looked at her for a moment with a uncomprehending look about her. The girl walked by silently and was met by Kasumi at the entrance to the dojo.

"Let me show you to your room," said the older girl sweetly.

Ranma walked down the street with an umbrella over his head and sighed. He was an eighteen-year-old boy with a well-toned body and short cut black hair with bangs that almost met his deep blue eyes. He was dressed in an off white dogi with a black belt tied around his waist. "That old fool should have the poor kid engaged by now." He looked at his watch and sighed again. "Shoot where the heck is this place?" He hadn't realized Nerima was quite as large as it was. "Man, I'm starting to feel like that Hibiki kid."

He plodded on for several more minutes when a scream caught his attention. He spun around on his heels and blinked as he realized it came from one of the homes. He jumped over the wall an into a yard crossing over to the yard directly behind it by jumping yet another wall. What he saw was a familiar scene. Akane Tendo was standing in the yard holding a cement lawn ornament over her head. She spun around and rushed into the house stopping only to speak with her sisters for a moment.

"Hmm, right on time," he said as he charged forward.

Akane rushed up to the boy that was walking down the hallway of her home with an embarrassed look on his face. He glanced up and got a strange look in his eyes as she charged forward.

Nabiki was about to speak up when something odd happened. The block over Akane's head crumbled to dust causing her to freeze in place and slowly turn to see a tall boy of about eighteen years in age with his fist extended over her head between her hands.

"I hope you weren't trying to use that on my little brother little girl," said the boy sternly. He had a traveling pack slung over his shoulder casually and an odd smirk on his face. "He might have hurt you."

"Who the heck are you two?" said Nabiki in shock, Akane was taking a defensive posture. Even Kasumi looked a little frightened.

"Umm, I'm Genryu Saotome," said the younger of the two. "Sorry about this."

All three girls just stared at him.

Moments later both families sat around a table opposite one another with Soun at the head. "Girls, this is my old friend..."

"Genma Saotome," finished the older man. "And these are my sons..."


"Genryu," Finished the boys respectively.

"So you're really her, that girl we saw?" said Kasumi as she looked at the younger sibling.

"I am," said Genryu with a hint of anger in his voice.

Akane glared at him angrily and he returned the gaze with a sorrowful stare.

"Perhaps we should start with this," said Genma. Ranma grabbed him by the back of his dogi and tossed him into the koi before he could grab the younger of the two brothers. In an instant a large panda appeared in the waters brandishing a sign. "Ingrate! Respect your elders!"

"Why should I you poor excuse for a man!" snapped the boy with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"How did?" said Akane with a look of shock that matched her sister's.

"The shorthand? We went to a place called Jusenkyo. If you fall into the cursed springs there you turn into the last thing that drowned there. Cold water changes us, hot water turns us back."

Nabiki looked at him carefully and said nothing. "Us?" she thought to herself.

Soun poured a kettle of hot water over the panda's head and Genma screamed in pain as the transformation took place. "Ouch! It needn't be quite that hot Tendo."

"That's not so bad Saotome!" said the man cheerfully. "Now to the task at hand." He turned towards the children and smiled. "My eldest daughter Kasumi, nineteen, My middle daughter Nabiki, seventeen, and my eldest daughter Akane, she's sixteen. Pick any one you want, and she'll be your new fiancee."

Ranma paused and waited for his little brother to respond before he slowly turned his head and saw that everyone was looking at him expectantly. "Wait a minute..."

Akane was glaring at him angrily, Nabiki had only a slight interest in the whole affair, and Kasumi just looked cheerful. "Ok brain, this situation looks pretty normal so far, but why hasn't anyone said anything yet?" The gears turned and found the answer he already knew. "What, me?"

"Foolish boy! Of course you!" cried Genma as he punched his son in the back of the head.

Ranma paled and looked over at Genryu. "What about him? What's wrong with him?"

"Hey, you ain't pushin this off on me!" snapped the younger boy angrily.

"Oh my son, shirking your responsibility so! I'm so ashamed!" cried Genma.

"Responsibility? Who the hell are you to talk old man!?" snapped Ranma with a frown.

"Show some respect to your father boy!" snapped the eldest Saotome.

"Why would I start now? I never have before," retorted Ranma almost playfully.

"Stop stalling and pick! As the eldest it's your duty to carry on the school!" said Genma sagely.

The shorthaired boy looked at the girls nervously. He didn't like the way Nabiki or Akane was looking at him. One had a casual smirk and the other an angry scowl. Kasumi looked like she wasn't quite sure what was going on. That sort of creeped him out a bit also. "What the hell am I going to do?" screamed his mind.

"Oh, I think he want's Akane," said Kasumi cheerfully. He seemed like a nice boy, but he was still a little younger than she was. She wanted an older, more stable man for herself.

Nabiki also assessed the situation. Poor martial artist, inherit dojo...which happens to be practically falling apart at the seams. "Definitely, he want's Akane."

"No, he doesn't," snarled the youngest sibling as she glared at her sisters causing them to back away and stop shoving her forward. "Right?" She looked directly at him as she said this.

"It's agreed then," said Soun. Ranma cut him off though.

"I believe you gave me the choice Mr. Tendo," this caused everyone at the table to become silent.

"No way am I marrying into this perverted family!" cried Akane angrily as she stood up from the table.

"Sit," commanded Ranma softly the girl whirled around and glared at him again. "Don't worry your pretty little head. You're far to hot tempered for my taste." This relaxed the girl but she still didn't look happy. He looked at the three girls and smirked. "Nabiki Tendo, I choose you."

She narrowed her eyes at him and smiled lightly, it was not a friendly smile; it was more like a warning that he had just screwed up. He returned her gaze and smirked to himself, already there was a plan to get out of this mess forming in his head.

Genryu realized that his older brother was up to something and said nothing. He merely sat back and waited while the two adults pulled out a bottle of Sake to celebrate. He had seen that look on Ranma's face before, and nothing good had ever come from it. "Oh man." He looked around the table and sighed slightly in relief, at least the girls weren't looking at him that way. He had mostly been forgotten in the moment. He paused though as something registered in his brain.

"Wait a minute! What do you mean perverted family?!"

"Just what I said! You looked at my body you lecher!"

"Hey! You walked in on me! Besides, it's no big deal for me to see a naked girl; I've seen myself plenty of times!"

"It's different when a girl looks at a boy!" retorted Akane.

"No it isn't, that's just an excuse for your own mistake," said Ranma calmly.

Akane blushed and looked away with the anger on her face worsening. "You stay out of this!"

"You took a pretty good look too! I'm better built anyway!" snapped Genryu as he stood up from his seat.

Akane picked up the table and brought it down on top of the boy's head. To her surprise though he merely caught it with his hands and quickly jerked it from her grip. "Cut it out! Are you trying to brain me or somethin?"

"Yes you jerk!" snapped the girl.

He promptly responded by returning the favor, crushing her under the table.

"Now see here!" said Soun as he stood up protectively.

Both boys glared at him and he backed down slightly with an uncomfortable look on his face.

"Tendo, she did have that coming," offered Genma in an attempt to pacify him.

"You overdid it a bit brother," commented Ranma casually as he sipped at the tea Kasumi had gotten for them. He removed it from the table just prior to her lifting it up.

"Sorry," muttered Genryu.


As you can guess this is a parody of the "Ranma has a brother fic," you know, Genma adopts some kid who makes his personality become better for some reason. This Ranma has done some changing to Genryu as you can plainly tell, but not all of them are for the best. Next time is Ranma's secret! Find out what he's planning, this isn't a "Nabiki falls in love and suddenly becomes really girly and reforms for no good reason" fic. I figure it would be best if I went the direct rout. Ranma's been busy so expect quite a few changes from cannon Ranma. I am trying to keep everyone in character in this fic, as much a s possible considering the changes I've done. I think it will come out well though.