It's a couple days after Halloween, but I really wanted to write this for whatever reason. The inspiration came to me when watching Fox Movie Channel's all day RHPS marathon! Well... anyways, enjoy!
Riff Raff was heading to the laboratory to continue work on "Frank's" project when the doorbell echoed throughout the castle. It was an unusual event; visitors were rare, if any. Eddie had long stopped ringing the doorbell, preferring to keep his visits unknown to Frank, and for good reason. Any deliveries needed were always delivered around lunchtime, so Riff was at a loss as to who might be at the door.
He walked down the steps of the foyer, removing his filthy, fingerless gloves. He grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open. Before him stood three children, all dressed rather oddly. In unison, the three chimed, "Trick or treat!"
Taken aback, Riff Raff wasn't sure what to say or do. He wasn't sure what the children were asking him and he really thought all three of them looked rather ridiculous for what he thought earth children should look like.
One was wearing a blue and red outfit along with a red cape and sported and red and yellow shape on his chest imprinted with an 'S'. His black hair had been styled with heavy amounts of gel so that most of it was slicked back, but some strands were twisted to stick slightly out above the middle of his forehead.
The boy in the middle was the smallest of the three and was the only one with red hair. At first it reminded Riff Raff of his sister, but he instantly changed his mind when he saw the clusters of freckles scattered all over his face. This one dressed simply with a green, baggy T-shirt and a pair of red pants. He was carrying around a brown stuffed animal dog with black spots in different areas on its back.
There was a girl on the right who looked remarkably like the boy on the left. Riff Raff assumed they were twins. She was dressed in an orange, long-sleeved, tight-fitting shirt that had black spots all over it. It looked like animal skin to Riff Raff, but he wasn't familiar with Earth's animals. She was carrying what he thought to be a plastic guitar, but he wasn't too sure about that either.
It was the boy on the left that spoke up first, "Hey! Nice costume, mister! Are you supposed to be that Igor guy from those Frankenstein movies?"
The girl chided him, "Davey! That's not nice! What if it's not a costume?"
"Ah, shut up, Debbie!"
The littlest one, oblivious to the bickering around him, held up a pillowcase half-filled with candy. "Trick or treat!" he repeated.
Riff Raff was confused. For the first time, he spoke to the kids, "Why are you here asking me to trick you or treat you?"
The kids seemed to think that Riff was playing around, making them work to get their candy. "Come on, mister! You can just treat us if you want!" whined Davey, also holding up a pillowcase.
"Do you have any chocolate?" the redhead asked.
"Or do you have any gum?" Debbie said, her eyes wide.
Riff Raff looked at the three children, trying to decide what to do. This had never happened before, but he was happy that he had opened the door and not Frank. He didn't want to imagine what Frank would have done in this situation. Making up his mind, he said, "Let me see if my sister has anything you might want."
Without shutting the door, Riff Raff turned around and began shouting for his sister. The kids, ever curious, stepped inside and began looking around the gloomy foyer.
About a minute later, Magenta's heels resonated through the entryway as she walked down the steps with a cigarette dangling from her mouth. "What do you want, Riff? I'm busy," she said, sounding annoyed.
"These kids asked for a trick or a treat, but prefer a treat. Their bags are filled with candy, but I don't think the Master keeps any around here, do you?" Riff explained.
"If he does, I doubt he would approve if we gave it to the kids."
"Well, then what do you suppose we do?"
"Did they necessarily say they wanted candy?" Magenta asked.
Riff Raff thought for a moment. "No, they said they wanted a treat."
Magenta laughed. "If they just want a treat, I've got something for them." She walked past her brother and stood in front of the three kids.
"You guys have some great costumes!" Davey said excitedly as he took in Magenta's domestic uniform.
"These aren't costumes," Magenta said as she took the cigarette from her mouth, dropped it onto the ground, and stomped it out.
Davey was taken aback for a moment, but suddenly thought that denying the costumes was just a Halloween joke. He started laughing, but stopped when Magenta glared at him. "You kids want a treat, right?" Magenta asked as she went into the kitchen to grab her carton of cigarettes. She came back seconds later with three cigarettes in her hand.
Debbie immediately started babbling, "We can't take those! Mom always told us not to take cigarettes! We would get in so much trouble if we took those from you! Davey, Danny, don't take them from her! You know –"
"Alright, I get it!" Magenta fumed as she took one of the three cigarettes and lit it for herself. "You're almost as bad as Columbia... More for me, then."
Riff Raff smirked, but realized that the kids still wanted a treat. He again started to ponder what to give them when the smallest, Danny, ran past him towards the coffin that Frank insisted on keeping in the foyer. "Is there any candy in here?" he asked, pulling the coffin open. Before Riff could stop Danny, he let out a horrific, spine-tingling scream. The twins ran to him and as soon as they saw the skeleton in the coffin, they both filled the air with their own shrieks.
Riff Raff covered his ears and began mumbling obscenities that Magenta was glad the kids couldn't hear. She ran back up the steps and headed for the bedroom she shared with Columbia.
Columbia was sound asleep on her bed, but that didn't matter to Magenta. The kids' screams could be heard even up here. The domestic wrenched the blankets from under Columbia, causing the groupie to fall to the floor with a clatter.
"Magenta! What was that for?" Columbia said, glaring.
"Do something about that infernal racket!" Magenta said, gesturing outside of the bedroom.
Columbia, who had registered the high-pitched yells from below, said, "Fine. I don't see why you had to wake me up to do this, though. You and your brother usually handle these things."
"We tried," Magenta said wryly.
After sliding into her tap shoes, Columbia walked out of the bedroom and down the steps with Magenta following close behind. Riff Raff had closed the coffin and was now trying to get the kids to calm down, but was failing miserably. The three were now crying, trying to get away from Riff Raff.
Columbia noticed how the kids were dressed. "Maggie, is today the 31st?"
Magenta physically recoiled at the use of her nickname. "I think so. Why do you ask?"
"It's Halloween! These kids are trick-or-treaters!" Columbia exclaimed exasperatedly.
"They've come here to trick or treat us?" Magenta asked, sounding puzzled.
"No, they came here for candy!"
"These Earth holidays make no sense."
Columbia sighed in annoyance. She stepped next to Riff Raff who was now slowly backing away from the crying kids.
"Hey, you three!" Columbia said, putting on a cheerful tone. "You guys came here for some candy, right?" All three nodded as they sniffled, trying to stop their tears. "What about some chocolate?" At the mention of the delectable earth food, the three kids began jumping up and down, asking Columbia all kinds of questions.
"Stay right there, and I'll go get some," Columbia said. She climbed back up the stairs.
In her absence, Magenta turned to Riff Raff and noticed that he was holding a feather duster. She laughed and said, "Did you use that to try to calm them down?" When her brother didn't say anything, she started laughing harder. "Just what were you trying to do with that?" Riff Raff only cursed under his breath.
Davey, Debbie, and Danny were now trying to see what candy they had while waiting for Columbia. They had completely forgotten Magenta and Riff Raff's presence. Riff Raff had a sudden idea. He sneered and leaned in towards his sister. "These three asked for a trick or a treat. Would you like to give them a trick, sister?" he whispered in her ear. Magenta fought back a cackle as the two snuck out to the kitchen.
Moments later, Columbia sprinted down the steps with a box of chocolates Eddie had given her earlier that day. "Here you go! Share it between the three of you, okay?" she said as she handed the box to Danny.
"Thanks miss!" the three kids said together.
Magenta and Riff Raff charged out of the kitchen, holding back laughter, and ran right outside the open door, slamming it behind them.
Columbia looked up as they ran by, confused. "Here, I'll walk you three out," she said cautiously. She led the way towards the front door and slowly opened it. She stepped outside, but didn't see any sign of Riff Raff or Magenta. The kids followed; completely unaware that something was going on.
As soon as they stepped out of the door, Magenta and Riff Raff sprang out from behind two columns. They had smeared ketchup beneath their mouths in an attempt to look like they had eaten something rather bloody. The siblings held up butcher's knives and forks. They jumped at the kids as if they hadn't eaten in years.
Davey, Debbie, and Danny started shrieking again, only shriller and louder than before. Columbia looked horrified.
"Don't these children look delicious, sister?" Riff Raff asked menacingly.
"Yes, brother, and I am so hungry!" Magenta screeched, running for Danny.
The three kids ran away from the house, through the yard, and out of the gate, screaming the entire time.
Magenta and Riff Raff hadn't bothered to chase after them, but fell, laughing hysterically into each other's arms. They needed a little bit of fun every now and then to stay somewhat sane.
Columbia rolled her eyes. Before entering the house, she slapped both Riff Raff and Magenta on the backs of their heads. The siblings stopped laughing long enough for her to say, "You scared away the first and probably the last trick-or-treaters we'll get here! What's wrong with you?"
An attempt at trying to keep composed failed and Magenta and Riff started roaring with laughter again.
"Whatever. I'm going back to sleep," Columbia mumbled as she walked into the castle and up to her bedroom.
It turned out that the groupie was right. Word had gotten out about the 'cannibals' that lived at the strange castle in the woods. In the Halloweens to come, no trick-or-treaters attempted to visit and ask to be tricked or treated. Columbia, Magenta, and Riff Raff hoped each Halloween that kids would show up, but they never did. The groupie missed celebrating the traditional American holidays. However, as for Riff Raff and Magenta, pulling pranks on Columbia and Eddie alone had grown really old really fast.
I have yet to work up the courage to write Frank into one of these. It's just light-hearted fun here, but I hope you guys liked it! Cookies to those who guess the costumes; I didn't flat out say what they were since Riff Raff didn't have a clue. Don't forget to leave one of those amazing little reviews and thanks for reading!