Ladies and gentlemen…I'm embarking on a challenge. What is that challenge? I'M NOT TELLING! But you'll know soon enough. Thanks to Allison for giving me the challenge. I know this is past the deadline we set, so hopefully this little dedication will make up for it. LOVE YOU ALLISON XD
I'm so sick of rumors about what's gonna happen in season three. With all these rumors, Season 3 sounds more confusing than figuring out what Crona's gender is from Soul Eater :P
I just gotta say, guys, thanks for all your reviews :D Really, IDK why I'm thank you now since we haven't hit a landmark, but I just gotta say thanks :) Your reviews always make me smile, and they keep me going. So thanks :D Maaaaaaaaybe we could get to 700 reviews soon? OMFG…if we ever hit a thousand…IDEK…
Well, let the challenge begin! :D
Santana almost felt dizzy with how many thoughts were running through her mind. Why had she run? She should've stayed, tried to sort things out. But no, I had to be a fucking coward and run…shit, this sucks, Santana thought sadly. This time, she had fucked up big time. She didn't think it was her fault that the fight started, but she realized she probably could've handled it better than just yelling and running away. Again she had to wonder why she had run away. How could I have run from such a sweet deal? Brittany basically promised her an amazing life together, and Santana wanted that. She did want to go through college with Brittany. She did want to move in together. And she was pretty damn sure she'd be content with spending the rest of her life with the blonde.
Santana found herself walking through Lima, aimless, directionless, she was just walking. Walking to get away from the pain of all the drama and shit. But she knew it'd follow her, no matter where she went. With her hands shoved in her pockets, she made a left and continued her journey with no destination in mind.
A thought came to mind. Did she actually want to spend the rest of her life with Brittany? That took a lot of commitment, to give yourself up to someone like that. It also took more than commitment…it took love. Do I love her? Santana thought curiously. She had been tossing that idea around since Christmas. The Latina remember, a long time ago, Brittany had asked her what love was. Santana came up with the answer that love is that feeling when you know you don't want to be with anyone else in the whole world. Santana thought she might've felt that way, but she wasn't entirely sure. She never really had feelings for anyone else ever since she started dating Brittany, so she guessed that had to count for something. She thought about being with Brittany for the rest of her life, buying a house, marrying her, waking up to her every morning. The image alone was so tempting. I do wanna be with her…I could probably spend the rest of my life with her, doesn't sound too bad. Maybe I do love her.
But in the back of her mind, another thought emerged. But if you really loved her, you wouldn't care about what people thought about you two together. Santana sighed. She used to never give a shit about what other people thought about her, but then as her relationship with a certain blonde escalated, she thought more about how society reacted to lesbians and gays. Needless to say, it was never pretty when someone came out of the closet. Santana didn't think she could handle that. Santana always prided herself as being tough as nails, but she could be pretty sensitive. Just thinking about being called a dyke or some other offensive word every other day made her cringe. She saw where Brittany was coming from, she understood why the girl wanted an open relationship. But the Latina didn't think her girlfriend understood the possible repercussions of coming out of the closet. And if they did come out and made fun of Santana, she knew they would definitely make fun of Brittany. Santana didn't want Brittany to be teased anymore than she already was. Sometimes, keeping things a secret was better than being open about it.
Santana raised her head (which had been lowered to the ground as she walked) and looked at her surroundings. She was at a nice little park she used to go to when she was little. There were lots of trees and benches around it, and there was a big lake next to it. A faint little smile played upon the Latina's lips. She had always wanted to take Brittany here on a date. She was sure the girl would love it. Santana's smile faded. After what had happened, she feared her and the blonde might never go on another date again.
Santana walked a bit more and plopped herself down onto an empty bunch. She sighed, and put her face in her hands, deep in thought. She hated all these feelings, these feelings that were beating her senselessly over the head. Feelings of love about Brittany, feelings of regret about running from her, feelings of anger at herself for being too much of a pussy to step up and be open with Brittany.
"You look sad," a voice said from out of nowhere.
Santana gasped a little and looked up. Her surprised expression morphed into an angry one. "Puck," she growled, her voice layered with hate. She knew it didn't make much sense, but Santana kind of felt like blaming the mohawked boy for her misfortunes. It was his party that started all this shit in the first place.
"Nice to see you too babe," Puck said nonchalantly. The boy then sat beside the Latina, something not many people were brave enough to do. "What's wrong?"
"The only thing wrong here is you being all up in my air space," Santana said angrily. "Piss off."
Puck shrugged. "Don't feel like it. What's wrong?"
Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't you have something better to do, like looking at gay porn or something? Why are you even around here?"
"I jog through here sometimes," Puck answered. "Now, tell me, what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong," Santana insisted. "Fuck off. I want to be alone."
Puck scratched the back of his neck. "It's Brittany isn't it?"
Santana froze. Was it that obvious? Or maybe it was more obvious seeing as Puck knew their secret. "Have you told anyone about- - -"
"I haven't said shit about anything," Puck said sincerely. "So, what's going on with you and your girl?"
"Why do you even care?" Santana asked, trying not to choke the boy out right then and there.
"I dunno, I just do. I got nothing better to do," he responded. "Plus, I have a feeling if I'm nice enough to you and Brittany for long enough that me, you and her will have a pretty epic threesome at my place." Santana punched him in the arm, to which he let out a comical high pitched scream. Santana smirked. Puck rolled his eyes. "And, you know…I kind of…like you…" Puck finished awkwardly.
"Okay, ew…" Santana said in response to Puck liking her.
"And…I thought maybe we could be friends…with benefits," he added. Santana again hit him in the arm as hard as possible, earning another howl of pain. "Or just friends! Fuck, that hurts." Puck rubbed his arm. Santana suppressed a laugh. Seeing Puck act like this was pretty funny, seeing as he always acted like he was some tough guy. "And you know, friends are nice and stuff…so I'm trying to be nice."
"Well you're failing," Santana said, crossing her arms.
"I kept your secret didn't I?" Puck said in defense. "If I had told someone, I'm pretty sure you'd have received a text from some dude asking for pics of you and Britt fucking or something."
Santana sighed, almost feeling defeated. He was right, he had succeeded at keeping her secret. For Puck, that was a lot. Maybe he was being serious. "So," the Latina began, "you wanna be friends?"
Puck shrugged. "Sure." Puck may have had an ulterior motive or two behind the friendship, such as getting in either Santana or Brittany's pants, or both, but he wasn't totally lying when he said he wanted to be friends. He thought Santana was actually kind of cool, plus she was one of the few girls who didn't really put up with him. Puck didn't know why, but that was kind of a turn on.
"Will you stop being a douche bag to me and Brittany?" Santana asked. Puck nodded. "Will you stop making pervy comments around us?"
Puck stared at the girl. "I just find out two chicks I know are doing it and you want me to stop making pervy comments?"
Santana rolled her eyes. "Good point, you don't have the brain capacity to stop yourself from being a perverted douche," she said.
A silence fell upon them, excluding the birds chirping in the distance and the children playing.
Puck coughed. "So…" he began, breaking through the odd quietness, "we cool now?"
Santana sighed and shrugged. Why not? she thought. "Sure, why not?" the Latina echoed her thoughts.
"Cool…so, what is wrong anyway?" Puck asked for the umpteenth time. Puck wasn't really invested in what was wrong, but on the other hand, he did kind of like Santana, so maybe listening to some of her problems might score him points.
Santana sighed. She might as well tell him anyway. It's not like she could talk to anyone else, and venting her problems might be a nice stress reliever. "It's Britt, I'm angry at her for kissing Mike while she was drunk, and she's angry at me because I can't commit to an open relationship with her."
Puck stared at her. "Why are you mad at her?" he asked, as if nothing was wrong.
Santana stared back, with just as much incredulousness in her look as Puck had. "Uh, because she cheated on me, dipshit."
"She was drunk," Puck said nonchalantly. "Doesn't count."
Santana rolled her eyes. "Just because she was hammered doesn't justify the fact that she kissed someone else."
"It's not like she fucked him," Puck said, echoing Brittany's own words, minus the cursing. "She just kissed him, and you know she probably wouldn't have done it if she were sober. Does she feel sorry about it?"
Santana nodded. "Yeah."
"So forgive her!" Puck exclaimed. "Holy shit, you have one of the hottest pieces of ass this town has to offer and you're gonna throw it away 'cause she made a mistake? You're insane."
"But- - -" Santana began, but Puck cut her off.
"But nothing! Go after her!" Puck insisted. "So she fucked up, big deal. If she didn't mean to kiss Mike, who cares?"
On one hand, Santana thought Puck's logic was really fucking stupid. On the other hand, he was (surprisingly) making a little sense. The kiss didn't really mean anything, Santana believed Brittany when she said that. She just didn't like the fact that she had kissed someone else.
"You know what Puck? You're actually making some sense," Santana muttered. "It's shocking, seeing as how much of a dumbass you are."
Puck rolled his eyes. "I give you advice, and you're a bitch about it?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Santana said, standing up.
"Where you going?" Puck asked as the Latina began walking away.
Santana smiled to herself a little bit. "I'm gonna go make things right!" she called behind her.
As Santana made her way back to Brittany's house, she couldn't help but pray that Brittany would accept her apology. Because after all this, Santana couldn't lose Brittany over some dumb fucking mistake. She couldn't lose her, period. Santana felt like nothing when she wasn't with Brittany. When she was with Brittany, she felt happy, silly, excited, and now she was beginning to feel a new feeling towards the girl…love.
Brittany sat in her living room, phone pressed to her ear, waiting for the boy to pick up. The phone rang over and over again, almost endlessly. Come on, pick up, pick up… Brittany thought restlessly. Finally, the ringing ceased and a voice came on the other line.
"Hello?" Mike answered.
"Mike? It's Brittany…I uh, need advice," Brittany mumbled.
Mike gulped a little. He hoped this had nothing to do with that kiss (here's a hint: it does). "Oh? Um…about what?"
Brittany then proceeded to blurt out everything that had happened with Santana at rapid fire speed. Mike actually found it a bit hard to keep up with Brittany's fast paced speech, but he made sure to get in all the important stuff. Brittany continued talking, her words turning into a confusing babble, a mixture of sniffles and incomprehensible words. Finally, Brittany ended off her explanations and babbling, sucking in a deep breath as she had just said all of that in one go.
"So…what do I do?" Brittany asked breathlessly, sadness layered within her voice.
There was a silence over the line, and for a moment, the blonde feared the boy had hung up on her. The thought alone almost Brittany return to her tears, until Mike finally spoke. "You're not being fair, Britt."
The ditzy blonde scrunched her nose up in confusion. "What? How?"
"Well, I mean, I know you want an open relationship with her, but if she isn't comfortable with that yet, it isn't fair for you to try and force her into something she doesn't want to do," Mike explained. "If you truly care about her, just wait. She'll be ready someday. I'm not trying to pick sides, I just think you should handle this gently and give her time."
Britt looked up at the front door when a sudden noise distracted her. "Uh…Mike?" Brittany said as she stared at the girl in her doorway. "I have to go…"
"Why?" Mike asked, perplexed.
"Santana's here," Brittany answered, and then, with a click, she ended the call. "Um…hey San…"
Santana looked at the blonde very seriously. "Britt, we need to talk."
OH SHIZNIT CLIFFHANGA BITCHES :D
So yeah, Puck is sort of Santana's friend now :P Or a lesbro, as men who are associated with lesbians referred to. Thank you UrbanDictionary for teaching me such a word :D I love how Puck is trying to be a friend but he can't stop thinking about how badly he wants in Santana's pants XD Oh Puck, how I love thee. Why won't you marry me? I don't really care if you're a he, because I'm a bisexual and that starts with a B. Ouch I just banged my knee, and now it burns when I SEE. I am SUCH a poet ;P
-sigh- Summer is sucking because there's no Glee :( Well that and my summers are usually boring XP
Next Chapter, First I AIN'T TELLING YOU GUYS SHIT ABOUT NOTHING! Now have some cookies. I made them with love :)
Byezies. And yeah, before you review, I KNOW. NO CUBBINGTON. I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON.