Well, you guys just loooooooove angst don't you? Okay, from the reviews, it's obvious it's making you sad. A couple things: One, that's the point. Two, in a relationship between someone like Santana and someone like Brittany, there's BOUND to be some sad stuff. Three, if everything was fluffy it'd be cute, yes, but kind of boring.
But I gave in to you guys, and while this isn't going to be fluffy, by the chapter title, I'm sure you guys are ecstatic. :D
Also, someone pointed out that last chapter I mentioned Rachel having a mom. I don't remember doing this, and I'm too lazy to reread it to find out where I did this. So, if I did mention it, oopsies. If not, YOU LIED!
So, enough talk! It's time to fight!…er, I mean read XP
"Why does summer have to be so hot?" Santana groaned. "Is the air even on?"
Mrs. Lopez chuckled. "Of course, dear!" She then motioned over to the working air conditioner.
Santana glowered at her mother. "Well it doesn't feel like it's working."
Mrs. Lopez only shrugged and went back to reading her book.
Santana huffed and left the living room, running upstairs into her room. Summer so far had been uneventful. Everyone was on vacation, it seemed, the heat was unbearable, and the nicest pool in all of Lima was closed down due to acts of vandalism. "Thanks, Puck," Santana remembered she had grumbled when the news was out about the pool. Nobody knew it was Puck, and there was no solid evidence, but it was obvious who had done it.
Santana flopped down onto her bed, releasing a large sigh. She tried calling all of her friends and asked them if they could hang. All of them said the same damn thing. "Sorry, I've got plans." As her last friend said that, she wanted to throw her cell phone at the wall as hard as possible then jump on it until every last circuit had been completely destroyed. She was glaring at her phone when she realized the one person she hadn't called yet.
Santana didn't know why she had said it out loud. The very word 'Brittany' felt foreign on her tongue. She hadn't thought about Brittany since the dance. After the dance, things changed, if only a little. There were slight waves, some giggles when they would rarely whisper something funny to each other, but other than that, Santana had barely talked or seen Brittany. Santana wanted to be friends again, but Brittany had just complicated everything for her. Whenever Santana saw Brittany she would remember how she had yelled at her for liking her. Then she would remember their fight at the dance. It was too messed up to be around her. It just confused Santana, as she didn't know if Brittany still had feelings for her. It was pretty obvious she did, so how could they be friends if Brittany liked her? It would be awkward and Santana knew if she ever got a date with someone else that Brittany would be crushed. Santana never wanted to see Brittany crushed.
"But you already crushed her," Santana said quietly to herself. After letting out a big sigh and staring at her phone for a minute, Santana finally flipped open the phone and began dialing Brittany's number. "Why is my life so fucked up?"
Santana looked at the door in front of her. As soon as she knocked on that door, Brittany would be back in her life along with all those memories, those sad, sad memories. Santana hesitated, wondering if it was a mistake that she had called Brittany in the first place. Santana soon realized she had to do this eventually, and plus, there was no way in hell she was riding her bike all the way back to her house after just arriving. So, after one brave glance at the door again, she finally knocked on the door three times, waiting for someone to open.
The door opened almost immediately after her knocking, and Santana wished it hadn't been so quick.
No going back now.
"Santana!" The bubbly voice was unmistakable. Before Santana could even register the situation, she was smothered by a blonde ponytail and slender arms wrapping around her body in a tight embrace. It was definitely Brittany, no doubt about it.
Santana's breath was cut off. Brittany was much stronger than she looked, it seemed. "Um…hi, Brittany," Santana managed to get out before gasping as more air escaped her throat.
Brittany finally let go, causing Santana to suck in a sharp breath of air. Brittany then blushed. "Sorry…I missed you."
Santana nodded. "I can tell."
Brittany beamed at Santana, twirling a stray strand of hair around her finger. "So you wanted to hang out?"
Santana nodded again. "Yes," she said. "Can we hang out inside though? It's fucking hot outside."
Brittany motioned for Santana to come in. "Okay."
As soon as Santana entered the house, she was greeted by a blast of cool air, and she was close to moaning in delight. All summer, she had done nothing but sweat, and now, she finally had a sanctuary. No matter what happened between her and Brittany, she was definitely coming back here to bask in the cool breezy air. The thought almost made her forget about all of hers and Brittany's problems.
"My parents aren't home," Brittany said, shutting the door behind them so as to keep the cool air inside. "So we won't have a problem if we play loud music or something."
"Cool," Santana muttered absentmindedly. She was lost in her thoughts, or memories, rather. As soon as Brittany said music it brought back the old memory of them singing Britney Spears together in Brittany's bedroom a couple years ago. The memory, which had once been faded within the confines of her mind, made Santana smile as it resurfaced. We were pretty kickass when we sang, thought Santana, the smile still on her face.
Brittany's voice broke her train of thought. "You want a popsicle?"
"Good God yes," Santana said quickly, in desperate need of something cold and icy to chill her out even more.
"Okay, you can just wait here." Brittany smiled, then disappeared into the kitchen.
Santana entered the dining room, which was right next to the kitchen, and took a seat. Almost immediately after sitting down, Santana felt something wound around her legs. She looked down and saw Brittany's cat, Catcake, cuddling up to her. Santana grimaced. She never was good with animals. Sure, they looked kind of cute, but they smelled and they shed hair everywhere and they always barked or meowed too damn much.
Of course, the cat began to paw at Santana's pants and proceed to meow. Santana tried to shove it away lightly with her feet, but it wasn't working.
"Piss off," Santana growled at it.
Catcake looked up with her big, cute kitty eyes and Santana looked away. Son of a bitch, she had an urge to hug it. It was too cute, and Santana was tough, therefore not supposed to like cute things. Despite herself, she picked up the cat, placing her on her lap, petting her head. Catcake purred in delight.
"I thought you didn't like animals?"
Santana looked up to see Brittany holding up two cherry popsicles. Santana chuckled. "Psh, I don't. This thing wouldn't leave me alone, so I thought if I pet it, it might go away," Santana lied.
"Oh, okay." Brittany then handed Santana the cherry popsicle (both of their favorite flavors). "Just don't let her near your stuff. I think she's a clapper maniac."
"You mean kleptomaniac?"
Brittany sighed. "No, you don't understand. She's a clapper maniac, she likes to steal things a lot."
Santana decided against explaining to Brittany the true term of kleptomania and how a cat couldn't be a kleptomaniac because you could never win an argument with Brittany. She stood by her beliefs through thick and thin, such as the time she thought her hair dryer was evil because it lost its pink tape. When Santana said a hair dryer couldn't be evil, Brittany insisted that without the pink tape (a sign of goodness and a sign to ward off evil) then the hair dryer would try to take over the world. Santana argued with Brittany about this for an entire week before saying "Screw it" and buying Brittany lots of pink tape to ward off the evil spirits.
"Whatever you say Brittany."
With that, Santana opened the wrapping of the popsicle and crumpled it up, placing it on the table in front of her. Brittany quickly followed in suit. The girls began to dig into their popsicles, licking away at the cherry deliciousness. Santana was almost lost in the intense cold that the popsicle produced when she noticed Brittany's eye on her. On closer inspection, they weren't on her, they were on her tongue on the popsicle.
Oh shit, she does still like me, Santana thought frantically.
"Your lips are red," Brittany pointed out, smiling a little.
Santana, despite herself, smiled back. "Yours are too."
They both laughed at the silliness of the situation. It was at that point when Santana felt comfortable in this surrounding. Her muscles relaxed (she hadn't even noticed they were tensed), her smiles came naturally and her enjoyment of the moments she spent with Brittany was growing every second. She was actually having a good time. A really good time, in fact.
But you can't smile. That's leading her on, Santana thought sadly. She hated that she had to calculate her every move to make sure she didn't send Brittany the wrong signals.
Soon enough, both girls had finished their popsicle, and Catcake had skittered away to the basement.
"It's cooler upstairs," Brittany suddenly blurted.
Santana's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Seriously?"
"Then fuck this," Santana groaned, not cool enough.
Santana got up from her seat, took Brittany's pinky in hers (she knew this might've been a bad signal to send, but Santana missed their pinky holding) and made their way upstairs. The trip was short and soon enough both girls had entered Brittany's bedroom. Santana noticed a blush on Brittany's face, most likely caused by their pinky action.
Santana was confused. Did she really have this kind of effect on Brittany? It's not like she was some super model. Sure, she was Brittany's only friend, and yes, she usually protected her from bullies, but it wasn't as if she was all so nice to Brittany either. Even when they were friends, there were plenty of moments when Santana would snap at Brittany for not thinking things through or something similar like that. Santana was usually crabby, and she understood that she probably wasn't that fun to be around. Most people hung out with Santana to take themselves off of her 'list' so they could never be the target when she decided to destroy someone's social life. And in Brittany's case, they didn't hang out all that much either, even when they were friends. Sure, there were days when the two would play in the backyard (even though Santana wasn't usually the playing type), but mostly their friendship consisted of hanging out at recess, whispering in classrooms and a billion phone calls. Santana once thought that Brittany only liked her because she protected her, but now that Brittany had confessed to having true, legitimate feelings for her, Santana had wondered what had attracted Brittany to her.
All this thinking was making Santana's head spin, and she was grateful when Brittany finally broke her train of thought.
"Um…I need to go to the bathroom," Brittany announced.
"Okay," Santana said, nodding.
Then, as Brittany left, so did her pinky, and Santana felt lonely and bored. Santana racked her brain for options. She thought of calling someone on her cell phone, then decided she wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. She thought about looking around for Catcake to pet, but then thought about all the shedding, but then though about how cute it was. She scrapped that idea, too much thought about whether she should do it or not involved. Santana sighed, looking around the room, when she noticed something peculiar.
The only reason the book was peculiar was the fact that there was an actual book in Brittany's bedroom. Santana didn't want to put Brittany down, but it wasn't hard for her to admit that Brittany didn't read much higher than a second grade level. Plus, Brittany had told Santana many times how she hated reading because there were too many words (Santana didn't have lots of proof, but she had guessed that Brittany was dyslexic). So why was there a book lying around in Brittany's room, of all places?
Santana walked over and read the cover: Diary (Catcake Please Do Not Read This)
"Well that explains it," Santana muttered. Brittany had mentioned a diary a couple of times.
Just as Santana was about to sit back down and wait for Brittany, she noticed the diary didn't have any sort of lock on it or binding to keep others from it. She contemplated looking into it, but then internally scolded herself. She couldn't do that! Unless…well, Brittany wouldn't know.
I'll just take a quick peek.
Santana snatched the book up and began to flip through the pages as fast as she could, wanting to see the latest entry before Brittany returned. Santana almost felt guilty about this. She was looking through her friend's belongings. Santana wasn't Miss Morals or anything, but even she understood she shouldn't be doing this.
With that, Santana finally reached the latest entry, and both surprisingly and not surprisingly, she saw her own name.
Santana just confuses me. Sometimes, she avoids me and then sometimes she talks to me. I think she's mad at me for liking her. It isn't my fault! Why can't I like her? She's pretty, she's nicer to me than anyone else, she helps me when I get confused, she doesn't call me an idiot. How could I not like her.
I don't care if people say a girl liking a woman is wrong. They're just…stupid heads. Stupid heads who are stupid. I don't care what they say. They can go run away to Atlantis if they think it's wrong.
I wonder if Atlantis is real. If it is, I want to show Santana all the fish and mermaids. That'll be our first date. I just have to find out how humans can breathe underwater. My mom says it isn't possible, but I know it is. In class, we learned how humans evolved from fish, so we must be able to breathe in the water somehow. Or…did we evolve from monkeys? I don't care, I just hope I evolved from a dolphin.
Dolphins are so cute 'cause they swim around a lot and it's funny how all of them are in the closet. I guess I can relate.
That was the end of the entry. Santana found herself smiling at it. It was a little sad but so, so sweet. She couldn't believe Brittany thought about her like this. She thought she should feel weird about her friend having feelings like this for her, but she couldn't help but finding it cute. It was also pretty funny. All dolphins are gay? Santana chuckled.
I guess I can relate.
Santana remembered that last line, and suddenly her heart sank. Brittany was in the closet, and Santana hadn't helped one fucking bit.
"All I did was flip out at her, yell, ignore her…when she needed me." Santana closed the diary. "I'm an asshole."
"Were you reading my diary?"
Santana whirled around, dropping the diary. "Oh shit, no! I wasn't reading it."
"You were!" Brittany cried. "You…you didn't read anything about…someone, did you?"
Santana sighed. After treating this girl like crap for months, she didn't need to be fed lies. "I read the latest entry."
Brittany thought for a moment, then her cheeks turned redder than ever before. Instead of saying anything, Brittany scrambled towards the diary, picked it up and chucked it at her dresser, where it slid underneath it, hidden away by the darkness. Suddenly, Catcake leapt out from behind the dresser, awoken by the thrown book. The cat raced out of the room at the speed of light. Brittany, startled by the sudden jump from her cat, stumbled a bit towards Santana. This caused Santana to lose her footing, and when Santana fell back on the bed, she tried to grab wildly for something to stop the fall. She accidentally grabbed Brittany's arm, tugging her forward and on top of her on the bed.
Because of the force of falling forward, her head shot forward as she fell on top of Santana. And it landed in such a way that their lips touched.
As soon as their accidental kiss had begun, both girls' eyes shot opened and just looked at each other, but neither of them tried to pull away. Brittany thought about deepening the kiss (she'd be in heaven if she could do that) but decided against it because it'd probably freak Santana out. But she couldn't bring herself to move away, and she was silently grateful that Santana hadn't pushed her off of her yet. Brittany, despite herself, smiled into the kiss because of how nice Santana's lips tasted. Very nice, very cherry.
Santana couldn't push Brittany off. She was too stunned. How the hell did they fall in such a way that they could kiss like this? Santana wasn't sure, but it sent a bunch of confusing emotions through her. Santana was beginning to realize that when you hang out with Brittany, life gets way more interesting and way more confusing. But Santana guessed that was what she liked about the blonde. She made things a lot more interesting. And in Lima, you needed a shitload of interest in something to keep yourself from getting bored.
Finally, Brittany pulled away, regaining her composure. "I'm sorry," she apologized, even if it was nobody's fault. Then she blurted, "You taste nice. Like…cherries." Then, Brittany proceeded to roll off of Santana and then the room became quiet.
Santana, after getting over the shock, broke the dead silence. "I'll…see you later." After she said that, Santana raced out of Brittany's room, ran downstairs, put her shoes on, left the house, hopped on her bike and pedaled away as fast as she could.
Her lips tingled.
"Oh shit, oh shit," Santana began to chant quietly to herself. "I just kissed Brittany. I just fucking kissed Brittany."
The next part of her sentence was too hard for her to say out loud, so she kept it in her head:
And I liked it.
Haha, TOTALLY not inspired by Katy Perry. Nope, deeeeeeefinitely not.
So, what'd you guys think? Liked it? Hated it? Love me? Hate me? Tell me. I need to know, because if I don't know these things…I could die. For cereal. Then there'd be no more fic XO So if you review, I might have a chance to live. Oh crap, my life is slowly fading! Please… -gasp- you must… -coughs blood- review… -coughs more blood- to keep me alive! -flat lines-