So I just watched episode 1412, Mysterion Rises, and wanted to write a Kenny fic VERY BADLY. I wanted to write one about him being Mysterion and his new character development, but I think the next episode will be crucial, so I'm going to wait to write a canon-based fic until this season finishes. Instead, I came up with this. I know a lot of people portray Kenny as being a slut, but he's never really that kinky, just horny. This is basically the opposite of that, and Butters was the perfect candidate I could think of for the role that I needed. So enjoy, it will be very dirty in the future~ Also, yeah, I'll update Bon Appetite, hrf.

I wouldn't necessarily say that I have a problem, no more of a problem than any other guy my age would have, I just take it to the next level. I'm a nice guy, I have morals, I am loyal to my friends and will sacrifice myself for the greater good. Coming from such a low income household, where everything is hand-me-downs, cutting out coupons so that we can have food for next week, and only showering once every three or four days to save money for the water bill, I understand the importance of charity and the act of giving; kindness. It's all in how you define 'problem', anyway. If you mean that I fantasize about engaging in deprived sexual acts at the expense of my partner, then yes, I would have a problem. But I don't consider that a problem, really.

Honestly, everyone thinks about sex, don't try to deny it. I don't care who you are, you could be the most evangelical Christian or the most fundamentalist Muslim or the school spelling champion, but you've thought about it, and you like it. Why wouldn't you? It's human nature, instinct. It's pleasurable for a reason, to keep you to continue doing it, to populate the Earth, and ensure that your genes carry on to the next generation (Information courtesy of Kyle, I just call it 'fucking'). Or at least, that's half way true. For the majority of us, it's the first part. Pleasure. No other motivation apart from that need to sin.

But 'sin' is a bullshit word. If God created the universe, then he created sin as well, along with Hell. And if God is all-knowing and all-loving, that means that either sin resided in him, or he's not so loving after all. Only the Mormons get into heaven, anyway, so what use is 'sin', anyway, if the only thing that judges your worth as a human when your life comes to an end is if you believed in Mormonism? Nothing, that's what. Greed, gluttony, envy, sloth, pride, lust, wrath- that's human nature, it's not a 'sin'. Wanting to get your jollies off is no more of a sin then wanting to succeed in life, although I wouldn't necessarily say those two things are equal.

People like to fuck, and people like to indulge, the fact that I admit this and am more open to it doesn't make me any less or more moral or ethical. What gets me off isn't sick or twisted, at least, not to me. And who is anyone else to judge? As long as it's consensual, it's okay, right? In fact, you could say that it's more moral, because lying is not moral, and this way, I'm not lying about my sexual preferences. And really, I don't really care what you're into, I'm not picky, just don't make it boring. It seems most people don't exactly share my same sentiments, though.

It's hard to get someone to comply to what I want, whether it's getting them to call me 'daddy' or to give me a footjob or to cross-dress, to name a few of the light ones (I can get much more hardcore). I'll gladly comply with my partner's fetishes, so it shouldn't be so hard to ask the same in return so long as it doesn't hurt them. Or so you'd think, but this is exactly my problem.

You see, I've been doing this for a while, the whole sex thing. At an early age it started to show, but the older I got the more out of control it became. It was and is the driving force of my physical pleasures, my high. Some people have hobbies or exceed at their job, you name it, but this is mine. It's my fix, my addiction, and I need it. But since I've been doing it for so long, it has started to become stale. Timid girls in missionary position just don't do it for me anymore. I need something more, something exciting that makes my blood roar in my head and my legs go week with lust.

One of the first times that I'd had sex with a boy (like I said, I'm not picky. I prefer girls and sweet tits, but there's something about a man that makes me rock hard as well) was with Clyde Donovan, this kid from my senior English class. Girls had started to get boring at this point, so I moved on to Clyde. Clyde was stupid and gullible, a complete crybaby idiot, but seemed pretty slutty. It was like sex with a girl, but with a guy, but this was just enough of a difference to be new and exciting. After a couple of times with him it started to get dull again. Looking for some sort of excitement as he panted in his afterglow of me jerking him off, I asked him to eat the mess off of my hand and his stomach. A simple request? He'd had his fun, and now it was my turn. But to him, it was 'way too gross, man', and he cut it off. That was fine with me, I'd been bored anyway.

Bebe Stevens was next. She did what Clyde wouldn't do, but more and more I got bored. I was tired of being in control. I asked her to use a strap on. It wouldn't hurt her, it was my risk. But that was too weird for her, and I wasn't really 'her type', anyway (so why did she sleep with me all those times?).

Craig Tucker seemed like a good next candidate. Science kid, dark and handsome, bitchy as shit, a complete dominant personality. He was easy to get, and had no qualms about fucking my ass as hard as I asked for. But when he cummed in me and I asked him to eat it out, he refused and gave me the finger. 'You've got issues, McCormick', he said. I don't see how this is an issue, we just like different things. Craig would have been good, and eventually we got back together for another shot, but when he gave me a blowjob and I grabbed his head and facefucked him so hard that he choked and gagged on my dick, that seemed to piss him off. Craig isn't much for switching roles. Dominant, or nothing.

And it went on and off like that. Kyle, Wendy, Token, a fair amount of hookers here and there, and once even Cartman (his fat didn't really put me off, it was just different, but he only wanted to roleplay Nazis and stuff and wasn't much of a giver), you name it. But I wasn't satisfied, not really, because I never got what I wanted. I wanted to experiment.

No one ever agreed, because everyone thought too hard about it, too much about themselves. 'No, Kenny, I don't want you to watch me take a piss, what's wrong with you?' It's not like it hurt them, but I couldn't do anything to change their mind. People started to blur together, in a sexual sense. When I look at someone, all I ever tried to do now is figure out, without asking, how compliant they'd be to my requests. It's harder than it sounds.

And that's where I am now, bored with my high; unsatisfied. And, well, frankly, pissed off because I haven't gotten action in a while due to my personal kinks. Now is just school, school, school. No fun ever since I started going to college. Since my family is shit poor, I pay for it myself along with my apartment, meaning that when I'm not studying, I'm working, and have no time to go party or look for people to screw. Which is, in fact, what I'm doing right now.

The library is quiet, is meant to be quiet, so that's why I'm here, to do homework in peace. College is a lot different from South Park High, there's not nearly as much drama, and without my three friends (well, two, anyway), life is pretty quiet. Maybe they were just bad luck, but I also haven't died as much with them gone. All in all, life is dull. Just like this question.

It's not as if I expect microeconomics to be entertaining, but- well, okay, basically just that. Graphing out marginal costs and deadweight loss will always be boring as fuck. Thinking about my wants annoys me even more, because it reminds me that I don't have access to them. I mean, really, I'd even go for just some chick in doggy style right now, that's how desperate I am. I said I wasn't picky, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe I am picky, but sex is sex and-

"Hi, Kenny!"

Since I'd been at the library where people would sit down next to me to work, I guess I didn't notice the person come up and take the seat across from me, but hearing my name, I looked up, startled out of my concentration.

It took me a while to realize who it was. The semester had just started so it couldn't have been a classmate of mine because they wouldn't have known my name, so it must have been someone from South Par-


"Hey, Butters." I looked back down at my homework, not trying to hide how exasperated I sounded. Butters was a tool, and everyone had always treated him as such. He was used to it. And as such, he didn't seem put off.

"W-Why I'm so surprised, Kenny, I didn't know you went here, too!" I'm surprised he recognized who I was in the first place, people change quickly. He was wearing glasses, now, and had cut his hair, which had been longer in high school. And it looked as though he had even picked up a fashion sense. Definitely not Butters.

"That's because I didn't tell anyone." 'For exactly this reason', I thought, but didn't voice it. I'm actually quite shy.

"Oh, well, it sure is good to see you, I've missed everyone from school a bunch and so I've-"

I tuned him out, continuing to try and look at my homework, which didn't work out very well when he kept blabbering in the background. Trying to concentrate on concentrating was interrupted, however, when I noticed him taking some books out of his bag, getting situated. I'd thought he had just come over to say hi, not to stay. I didn't really want to put up with him.

"-and so then I said 'Mister, I know you're real nice and, all, but-"

I sighed, and set down my pencil, looking up. "Look, Butters," I said as I gathered my things up and straightened my papers, "it was nice catching up with you and all, but I was actually just finishing up and I have work in a little while and-"

"But you have a question mark written on this one, don't you?" Butters reached out as I stood and moved to walk away, setting his hand onto my homework that had slipped out somewhat from beneath my arm. He pulled it out of the stack when I didn't yell at him. "I'm majoring in marketing, so I can help you?"

I paused. Sure, Butters was gullible, but he was nice nonetheless. It wouldn't hurt if he helped me out.

Butters smiled at me as I weighed my options, and eventually my longing for an A in the class made me sit back down. I scooted up, and he placed the paper between us. Marginal cost and marginal revenue, they cross at the ATC and that's where the profit is maximized and- we went over it a couple of times. Okay, more than a couple of times, I was never the smartest kid in class. Eventually it started to make sense, and I wrangled Butters into doing the rest of my homework for me. I don't know if it was because of my charisma, or because Butters was just so naïve, but my homework got done either way.

"…And so that makes this area the consumer surplus. Do you understand now?"

"I think so," I said, shading in the triangle that I had drawn on the graph, "like this?"

Butters nodded in approval, and I smiled, feeling relieved and accomplished as I slumped back in my chair, finally done with my homework ordeal. I looked up at the ceiling, thinking about what my next task would be. I had work in two hours, so maybe I'd get something to eat and watch TV. I needed a hobby.

"Anything else you need?" Butters broke the silence, and I groaned since I had been enjoying it, but then paused.

I didn't really know jack-shit about Butters, and I needed a hobby, so maybe- I smiled. It was worth a shot. At best he'd comply, at worst, he'd get freaked out and run away, but it was Butters, so no loss.

"Yeah, actually, I do." I leaned forward, trying to seem as confident and sexy as possible. "Will you say- …'Please, Daddy?' for me, Butters?" Hell, I think I even pouted slightly.

Butters blinked, silent. Well, damn, it was worth the shot. He opened his mouth, looking confused, but did it.

"Please, daddy?"

It was my turn to blink and be silent. Absolutely silent, because maybe I didn't hear right? Maybe he just-

"…Please, daddy?" Apparently Butters thought I didn't hear, either.

I groaned, and I could feel myself getting instantly hard. I couldn't believe he just- did he just- oh god I was so turned on, and I instantly imagined me fucking him, holding his head down into a mattress as I rammed into him, or in public where he would wear heels and-

I was so stupid. I was so stupid for trying to look for a challenge, someone different to satisfy my needs. But what I really needed was for someone naïve and gullible enough to do what I asked and not think too hard about it; Butters. This couldn't be screwed up.

"T-Thanks, Butters." I pushed down the horniness, trying to act as normal as possible. "That helps me a lot."

"W-Well shucks, Kenny, I don't think I really understand why you wanted me to-"

"No reason! Oh, um, I mean, well, I don't know, I guess I just miss my family a lot? I mean Denver is far away, right?" Shit, was that a good lie?

Butters seemed to buy it, though, and smiled, looking as chipper as ever. "Oh, yeah, it is! Ya see, that's why I'm so gosh darn lonely, I'm shy and I don't really make friends easy, I miss South Park. But I found you, Kenny, s-so if you like, we could hang out? Or I could just help you with your homework again?"

I'll admit, I was shocked at being shocked. Butters liked to follow people around, but I'd imagined it would have been harder to get to see him again in order to start getting him to do- things- for me. But instead, he was the one to offer first. So, so easy.

"Yeah, Butters, that sounds great." I genuinely smiled, and Butters smiled bigger in return.

"Oh, thanks Kenny! I promise it'll be fun, and I live in a dorm now so I don't gotta worry about my parents bein sore about nothin, so we can do whatever we want! Here, here's my number, so you don't forget."

He ripped off a piece of paper from his notebook and scribbled the numbers down, sliding the scrap across the table to me. I picked it up, and looked at it, rummaging through my pockets for my cell.

"Oh, hamburgers! Well, I'm real sorry Kenny, but I forgot that I was on my way to pick up a cake for my grandma- it's her 80th birthday next week, can you believe it?- so I gotta go. I guess I just got distracted. I'll see you around, okay?" He smiled, and I nodded as I watched him wave goodbye, muttering about being late as he left.

I looked back down at the paper in my hands. It was Butters phone number, and he'd drawn a little heart next to it. What a fag. …And absolutely perfect.

I had two hours left before work, and a throbbing erection. I knew what I was going to do between now and then.

Review if you want Kenny to engage in some seriously sick and kinky stuff. I know I do~