Pairing: J/C (kinda)
Warnings: angst, humor (I think)
Author: Lily Zen
Notes: Title stolen from a line in "Take The Bull By The Horns," where Pooch talks about Cougar sleeping with Jensenitas. (Hilarious.) This is very short, not well thought out at all, but I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Cougar's known for a long time that he had some rather inappropriate feelings toward the Losers' tech guy. He's self-aware enough to figure out what his over-protectiveness toward the younger man and the skip in his heartbeat every time Jensen invades his personal space means. Here's a hint: the skip is not due to anxiety, and the over-protectiveness is not because Jensen can't take care of himself.
He can. For the most part.
Jensen's special forces. To assume he couldn't take care of himself would be stupid. He'd never have made it to black ops if that were the case.
Cougar just liked him, and not in a brotherly, companionable "all men together" sort of way. Nope. Couldn't be that easy. He had to go and…
Even now, in his head, he's grinding his teeth at the thought of it.
He had to go and fall in love with the idiot.
Worst. Idea. Ever.
Because Cougar protected fiercely that which he considered his. Sometimes, he thought he might as well have pissed on Jensen's leg to mark his territory, because his behavior was so irrational.
Like the girl-stealing.
He did it all the time, felt bad doing it, but he still did it because Jensen was his goddammit and those stupid little tramps did not deserve to see the face he makes when he comes. Not that Cougar can see it either. That'd be a terrible idea, even more awful than the simple fact that he possessed these feelings for the bespectacled man. It would, in all likelihood, result in them getting killed if they both didn't get kicked out of the army first.
So instead Cougar lost himself in blonde haired, blue eyed women. If they were smart or ridiculously funny or talked way too much, so much the better. It made the fantasy a little more solid. Nobody seemed to clue in that Cougar's tastes—which prior to Jensen joining the team tended to run toward curvy Latinas—had altered. If they did, no one said anything, probably out of fear that Cougar would accidentally shoot them on assignment. No one said anything about Cougar's satellite orbit around Jensen.
It was his secret.
And the Jensenitas, while a pale substitute for the real thing, served their purpose in assuaging the inappropriate urges Cougar suppressed every time Jensen smiled at someone who was not him.
Which was happening now.
The dark haired sniper swallowed a shot and grabbed his beer, tipping his hat low enough to provide the air of mystery that seemed to make panties fall from the heavens, and ambled over to where Jensen was charming a redhead at the other end of the bar with a little sleight of hand.