Graduation - aka living without air
- I do not own - (although I wouldn't mind it... *hint hint* :p)
Twincest - boys kissing - don't like, don't read!
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'It's graduation time... Our last days at Ouran High School...' I look at myself in the bathroom mirror. My amber eyes seem somewhat sunken in my unusually pale face - not helped by the fact my red hair is falling across those eyes causing even more of a contrast.
I'm supposed to feel excitement for the moment - finally school is coming to an end. No more homework, no more rants from teachers, no more troublesome host club... 'No more brotherly love shows...' The real reason I felt sick. Today is the end of my perfect world, in my perfect bubble, with my perfect brother... and my world is crumbling. That thought alone steals my breath away and I find I can't breathe.
I hear the door open, but I don't bother checking who it is as I open the cold water faucet and lean down to splash water on my face, gasping for air slightly. I already know.
I see his face in the mirror before he bends down to splash water on his face. He looks as bad as I feel, and I can tell he's been panicking over something. That fact alone makes me feel worse. 'Kaoru...'
I am the older brother, and self proclaimed sworn protector of my twin... but... I've failed... I could not protect him from the world of growing up... of real world challenges. I could not protect him when he was told that after graduation, his studies would continue, and I would leave to work with our father on the other side of the world.
Our parents were effectively deciding to suffocate us... Kaoru is my air after all and without him I would surely die a slow and painful death... Ok, dramatic - perhaps a slow and painful existence - but I would effectively be dead to the world...
I wait for him to turn off the tap before I speak, knowing that I have to be strong even though it hurts.
"I wondered where you were hiding..."
Hearing his voice always sends pleasant tingles down my spine. His words are soft but I can hear that something is worrying him terribly by the way his voice is slightly strained. I can tell he's trying to play my disappearance off as casual and to push aside his worries so as to not upset me further. This is why I love Hikaru... Yes... I love my twin... I have for a while... I've just never said anything to him... I've never needed to - it's all been unsaid understandings up until now... We just know.
I find some paper towels to dab my face before answering.
"Needed to freshen up for our final performance!"
Even though I turn to grin at him, I know he can see right through me.
His grin always makes me feel 100 times better, but right now... I know it's not real... which makes me sad. His eyes say it all, and I'm sure my eyes are reflecting the same.
We stand there looking at each other. I feel that I should say something - anything to lift the choking atmosphere our feelings are subconsciously creating... However... What can I say? I love you? He knows that already. You're my world? He knows that too. I'll never leave you? ... No.. I shouldn't make promises I can't keep. I do after all have to leave him today.
"Kaoru... It's - "
I don't even get to finish my sentence before I find Kaoru in my arms, holding me tight, his face buried in the crook of my neck. I can tell instantly he's crying.
I hold onto Hikaru with all my strength. I couldn't let him talk - it makes our situation all the more real... and for that reason, I find myself crying. 18 years old and I still cry like the proverbial baby. But it doesn't matter... my heart is breaking and it hurts.
My lungs are screaming for air once more, and I have forgotten to breathe with all my worrying thoughts. I choke in a breath and out a sob as Hikaru pulls back slightly and lifts my face to look into my eyes. Although at first I resist, I find my strength failing when he whispers my name. I concede and make contact with his eyes, and what I see there makes my heart soar.
'It's not the end... just... a new beginning...'
I can't help the small smile that spreads onto my face, and I love how it spreads over his too.
The bathroom door opens to reveal Harui who smiles at the sight of the twins embraced. "It's time guys!" she calls before leaving them alone again.
Wordlessly, Hikaru and Kaoru unravel from their embrace to hold hands. With identical smiles and a small nod, they proceed out of the bathroom to take the stage. They decide that if they must part, they will do it their way - and part with a bang.
It isn't long before Hikaru's name is called out and he walks onto the stage to take his certificate. He pauses at the end of the stage as his brother's name is called out. As soon as his brother receives his certificate, Hikaru walks back into the centre stage, takes a firm hold of his brother's waits and then kisses squarely on the lips as he dips him backwards.
Squeals and hoots can be heard from fan's of the brotherly love show, as well as many shocked gasps and several splutterings. However, for Hikaru and Kaoru, there is nothing but them, in their own little bubble, in their own little world. Even if they must part - they know it won't be for long. For them, it would be like living without air. They just couldn't.