Observations of a virginal vampire

Chapter 7: On late blooming (Epilogue)

A/N: Thanks so much to TwilightMundi for betaing. Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M.

More at the end...


Edward heard Carlisle coming down the hallway toward his room, but disregarded his approach.

Sure enough, moments later, Carlisle rapped lightly on his door. He cleared his throat. "Edward, it's time to come out now."

"No!" Edward called back. "I'm busy."

Edward's voice was slightly muffled by the blankets over top of him, but he knew Carlisle could still hear him clearly enough.

"Edward, I mean it. Why don't you get dressed and come downstairs?" Carlisle asked.

Edward ignored Carlisle and resumed his previous activities.

Carlisle coughed. "Don't you need to hunt? It has been awhile..."

Edward paused to reply. "No, I'm good."

"Well, Jasper is completely overwhelmed by the emotions coming from in here, Emmett's dying for someone to play computer games with, and Alice is freaking out because you seem to have disappeared from her futureā€”almost like you've decided never to leave your room ever again," Carlisle said.

Edward remained silent as he took a moment to appreciate the beautiful irony.

Finally, Carlisle sighed into the silence. "Look, Edward, it's time to come out. April's been over for weeks now."

Edward smiled and shrugged. "We got a late start. We'll be out in June," he called to Carlisle.

But then, gazing down at Garrett who was lying naked beneath him, full of angles and hardness so becoming of vampires, Edward changed his mind. "Or possibly July."

It really just depended on how efficient they were.


A/N: Unfortunately, at this point Edward's observations are no longer virginal, so our little tale has come to an end. I do hope you've enjoyed spending a few days with Edward in this silly little crackfic. And who knows? Maybe one day down the road Edward will be back with some new observations. He certainly has enough thoughts to share and he isn't opposed to being famous, so...?

I really do appreciate that so many of you seemed to get a kick out of this Edward's voice. It was terrific fun to write such craziness. So thank you so much for reading and reviewing and laughing...and maybe subscribing to Men's Health.