This is my first songfic, so forgive me if it's not exactly what you expected. Probably a one-shot, but if I want to, I may continue it. Love the book Hold Still, and I love the song, and Tegan and Sara. Also, I kind of think that it goes perfectly, because in the book, Hold Still, Dylan said that she really liked "these two queer girls from Canada." Who else could she be talking about other than Tegan and Sara?
I Was Married, by Tegan and Sara, Hold Still, by Nina LaCour.
"Mama, tell me about the wedding."
I looked into the eyes of the child that looked so much like Maddy and myself, that she could've been ours. And she was, only not like that.
I married in the sun
"Well, it was bright and gorgeous outside. Like even the sun was smiling and laughing and having a good time."
Tell me where, tell me where
Against the stone of buildings built before you and I were born
"Well, near a tall stone building that was very old. Older than me, even." I told Lissie, laughing. She gave an encouraging grin, and nodded me on.
Start again, start again
"Start over? I want to imagine every bit of it." Lissie stated.
"No, no, sweetie," I giggled. "I'll keep going." She gave a small "aw," but let me continue with the story.
And to my heart confusion rose against
The muscles fought so long
"I was supposed to be so happy, and I kind of was. But, it felt wrong. Everyone told me it was wrong. So, I was worried." I explained. A sad, longing look filled Lissie's chocolate brown eyes, although she knew there was a happy ending.
To control the pull of one magnet to another magnet to another magnet
"But you're Mommy and I, we were so in love. We still are. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Other than you, honey." I said, poking Lissie's nose. She smiled so hard, I thought she was going to burst. Just then, Maddy walked in.
"Dylan, you're telling her again?" Maddy asked. I nodded, looking to the woman I loved. We kissed, and she handed me a coffee.
"Thanks, Mad. And I couldn't not tell her. She loves listening, and I have nothing else to do with my life." I told Maddy. She smiled fondly at the both of us.
"My two girls." She sighed, and sat down next to me. I started the story again.
Now we look up at
"There are still people who look at us with disgust. Like we're some breed of animal or something. Or like we're from outer space." I told them, rolling my almost completely black eyes.
"Who?" Lissie asked. She looked angry, like she wanted to take someone down. She took after me in that department.
To the hours of bullies breaking past
"No one is particular. But it's not so bad now. It was a lot worse in school." I said, trying to calm the child down. I handed the coffee cup to her. That was another thing she got from me, her love for coffee.
They seem so very tough
"They were rotten and mean, but we got through." Maddy told her.
It's a lie, it's a lie
"Well, they couldn't have been stronger than you two. They were just nasty ol' cowards!" Lissie huffed.
They seemed so very scared of us
"When they didn't tease and make jokes, it was like they were scared of us. Like we had some kind of disease or something. Which is silly." I said, getting up. I walked down the hall and into the kitchen. I listened to my two favorite girls chattering in the next room, and smiled to myself.
I look into the mirror
I caught my reflection in the mirror that hung on the wall. I saw a face I knew well, the same tired look. My tanned skin had a healthy glow to it. I was tall and thin and lanky, towering over most people. My frizzy hair was fanned around my face like a glossy black halo. My plump lips were stretched into a grin.
I saw me, just me.
For evil that just does not exist
Is there something wrong with being me? Something wrong with being happy and loved? Just because it's not the same way others are?
I don't see what they see
"There can't be something wrong with me. I just don't see how wanting to be happy the way I want to be happy is wrong." I told myself, knitting my eyebrows together.
Tell them that, tell them that
"Mama, there's nothing wrong with you." Said the sweet voice I knew so well. I turned and found the two women standing there, looking at me, analyzing me. I must not have heard them enter the room.
Try to control the pull of one magnet
I felt myself move towards them.
To another magnet
To another magnet
To another magnet
I held them tight, and I promised myself I would never let them go.