Chapter 6, Part 1

Merry Christmas

"C'mon, Toki. Wake up, it's time."

At the soft, coaxing sound of Pickles' voice, the Norwegian opened his eyes. "Hmm? Wh...what time ams it?"

"Early enough for Christmas. C'mon, you gat presents."

"P-Presents?" he shot out of his bed and fumbled to open the door. Before he could, though, Pickles stopped him and held up a pair of black jeans.

"Put your pants an, dildo."

"Ohs." Toki turned red and raced to put on his pants. Once he had he grabbed the drummer's hand and hurried downstairs. "I really gots them?" he asked, running to the living room. Pickles had to hurry to keep up.

"Yeah, lots of them."

It was around four in the morning, but everyone had still gathered in the living room to pay tribute to Toki's first Christmas. Though Skwisgaar and Murderface were half asleep as the Norwegian came running into the room, they quickly awoke.

"Uh?" Skwisgaar asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes. "It ammnest time? He ams—hey, Tokis. Merry Christmas, dildos." and he closed his eyes again.

Murderface didn't even bother to say anything. He just went right back to sleep and curled up into a ball on the couch. Nathan, however, was wide awake and sipping on a steaming cup of coffee. "Yeah, whatever. Merry...I dunno...Christmas, I guess. I-" he was cut off as Toki launched himself into his arms, sobbing dryly.

"Thanks you so much! Thanks all of you!"

Nathan's pale face turned red as he tried to pull the guitarist off him. "Yeah, you should get off me. Now."

Toki then went to hug Skwisgaar. The Swede groggily patted the other man's shoulder and said tiredly, "Ja, it ammnest all goods. Leaves me be now, please."

The whole room was full of presents. It was almost as if in the course of this one morning every single Christmas that Toki had ever missed in his life was being made up for. Of course Pickles was the one who had been stuck buying most of the presents, though Skwisgaar, Murderface, and Nathan had contributed quite a bit. It seemed as though Toki had gone from being hated to a sort of little brother for everyone in the band.

When it was Pickles' turn to get a hug, Toki didn't end it as quickly as he'd ended the others. He whispered, "You dids all this, didn'ts you?"

"Yeah, most of it."

"Thanks you so much. I really don't knows whats to say...you ams all the best family I've ever hads."

"It's fine. Seriously. Just go and open your presents."

"I got somethings for you, too." and he forced a present into Pickles' hand and finally ended the hug, but not before his lips had brushed the drummer's cheek. Only then, once Pickles was left to stand there with the present in his stand blushing insanely, did Toki go and begin to unwrap his first present.

There were lots of things, and Toki finally finished unwrapping the last one about an hour later. By then Ofdensen had heard the commotion and come down from his office as well—he had worked all Christmas night to ensure that Dethklok would have a gig the following month. Once he saw the mess of wrapping paper, he sighed.

"Great. Now we have a mess to clean up. Klokateers, please come!"

In a moment about a dozen Klokateers were standing by. "Wait until he's done then clean up the mess, please."

"Very well, sire."

Once Toki had finished he told everyone thanks one more time before going over to Pickles. "You opened my presents yet?"

He shook his head. "I wanted to wait."

"Okays. Do you thinks we can go walk?" he gave Skwisgaar, Murderface, and Nathan an almost nervous glance and added, "Outsides?"

"In the snow? But I thought you hated the-"

"Let's just go."

He followed Toki outside and into the snowy white lawn. Once outside, Toki smiled and threw his head back. He wore nothing other than his jeans, but the cold really seemed to have no effect on him. He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, laughing when he managed to swallow a flake of the falling snow. Pickles watched and smiled.

"Gad, you're such an idiot" he said, punching Toki lightly on the shoulder. "So weird..."

The Norwegian closed his mouth and asked, his voice full of a sudden seriousness, "You thinks I ams weird?"

"What? No, I just meant-"

" 'Cause I'm nots."

All signs of laughter melted from Pickles' face. "Yeah, I know. You're not weird. Sorry. I meant it in a good way."

Toki frowned. "Weird ams good?"

"Sure." he said. "Normal his boring."

And suddenly the guitarist was laughing again, walking around in the snow in his bare feet. Pickles followed him, looking out at the blanket of white that covered the grounds of Mordhaus. Snow. So much damn snow. He sighed and a chill ran thru his spine as the wind blew; he was freezing in his jacket. Toki didn't notice, though. He was in his own world of childish delight. Suddenly he stopped walking and fell backwards into the snow, his arms and legs spread out.

"Snow angel." he explained simply, staring up at the velvety black sky. It was about five in the morning now, but still completely dark.

"Yeah," Pickles said as he went over and fell into the snow next to him. "an angel." He watched as sparkling flecks of snow fell on Toki's bare frame and and melted, creating little drops of water. He smiled as the Norwegian sat up.

"You opens my present now?"

"You really want me to, huh?"

He nodded and added, "Ja, it ams really good!"

Pickles pulled the present out of his pocket and tore open the wrapping paper. It was a new copy of a book, one that was entitled, Romeo & Juliet. He let out a groan and threw the book to the ground, glaring at it.

"Toki, I hate you. I really do."

The Norwegian pointed at the book and laughed. "Pickle, your face ams so funny! I loves it! I loves..." his voice trailed off and his laughter quickly melted away. He took the drummer's hand and said, "Comes on, let's walks, please."

"Okay, okay. Hold an." Pickles picked up the book and dusted some snow off of it before carefully putting it in his jacket pocket. He followed Toki farther down the icy driveway.

It continued snowing as they trudged along, both ignoring the soft crunch of snow beneath their feet. Finally Pickles stopped and looked up. The darkness was beginning to melt into a sea of dead grayness, but the twinkling stars still glittered in the sky above.

"Pickle, why you stops walking?"

He shook himself and stared at the guitarist. "I...huh? What?"

"You wants to go inside? Stops walking?"

I've gotta say it, just gotta say it...

Pickles cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets. "I—Toki, I need to tell you somethin'."

He arched a brow. "Okays. What?"

"I...Gad, please, just let me...I feel sick." he ran a shaking hand thru his hair and closed his eyes tightly, trying to get the beautiful sight of Toki standing there in the snow, so innocent and perfect, out of his mind.

"What ams wrong? Are yous okay?"

"No—yeah, I'm fine. Just look." he opened his eyes and pulled Toki closer to him. "I've gotta tell you something...it's something really important..."

Please just say it. Just say it and get ready for the pain...

Toki took a step nearer him. They were so damn close...Pickles felt his heart begin to race, heard it pounding loudly in his ears. Nobody had ever made him feel like this in his life—not even Sarah—so what did it mean? He already knew what it meant, but was too scared to really think about it, so he began just rambling.

"Toki, you're the best fuckin' person in the world and I really, really am so glad that I gave you a chance that day back in Norway." the words were coming out quickly, all at once. "And I love talking to you and stuff because you're so funny and amazing and perfect and I always wanna be with you like this. I always wanna just talk with you and shit because it's really nice and it makes me so fuckin' happy. You make me the happiest I've ever been in my damn life, and-"

"Pickle, you talks a lot. What ams you trying to say?" he looked down to his boots and reached for the drummer's hand. "You says too many things."

"Toki, look at me." he pulled his hand out of the guitarist's grasp and gently pressed it to Toki's cheek. He held the Norwegian's perfectly angelic face in his hands, feeling the color rising to his face. "I love you."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he braced himself for a heartbreaking pain, but it never came. What did come was a dry, tearless little sob from Toki. He wrapped his arms around the Pickles' waist and pulled him as close as he could.

His shirtless frame heaved as he cried, "Pickle, I loves you so much, but I'ms...I'm..."

"You're what, Toki?"

"I'ms just sos confused when I'ms around you, 'cause I knows that you don't love me, but-"

"No, Toki. Just be quiet for a minute, okay?" when the Norwegian grew quiet he asked calmly, "Do you really love me—want to be with me?"

He just smiled up at the drummer and nodded. "Mores than anything in the whole damn world."

"Oh Gad, this is too..."

It was too everything. The mere thought that he'd ever done anything to deserve the guitarist's love was laughable. As Toki stood there in his arms shaking with emotion, Picklescouldn't help but to laugh. He laughed, kissed the top of the guitarist's head, and ran his hands thru Toki's hair, loving every minute that they were together like this...

"You're nots going to leaves me? Never, no matter whats?"

"N-No, I..." and his voice trailed off. In his happiness Pickles had failed to think of one thing—the one thing that could tear the whole band apart. Slowly he ended their embrace and backed away from Toki, shaking his head. "No, we...we can't do 'dis. Not now. We-"

All the joy on Toki's face evaporated. He stood there in the snow, his arms limp at his sides. "What? But you just saids you loves me. Didn't you means it?"

"Of course I did, but Gad damn it, you're just too young!" Pickles said, trying in desperation to make him understand. "You're only nineteen years old! You're just a kid and too young to understand love or...or..." he thought back to Skwisgaar's words and added, "Toki, do you know how hold I am?"

He shrugged and answered pitifully, "Doesn't matters, I still loves you."

"No you don't, you don't love me. I'm twenty-three, Toki. You're only nineteen and I'm twenty-"

"I don'ts care! I knows what love is!" he said, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. "I know what it is and I knows what it feels like!"

"Then what is it?" Pickles asked, trying hard to hide his own pain. "What the fuck is it?" the truth was that not even he was sure if he knew what love was anymore, but when Toki spoke he finally began to understand.

"Love is whenever I ams around you, how goods you makes me feel. It's how I knows I can tells you anything and you won't hits me or hurts me, just tells me that it ams okay and makes me feel better abouts it, like I don'ts have nothing in the world to worrys about." Toki said, a tear beginning to make its way down his cheek. "That is loves! It has to be, 'cause I don'ts know what the hell else it ams!"

Pickles smiled bitterly. God, this hurt him so bad, but he couldn't do it. Toki's dream had always been to be a part of Dethklok, and if loving him would take away that dream—or even put it in jeopardy—then the drummer couldn't do it. He couldn't take away the Norwegian's dream so thoughtlessly, so selfishly. No matter how much this hurt him—ripped him apart, made him want to vomit—he turned and began to walk back to the Mordhaus.

"I'm sorry, Toki. It just can't happen."

But he stopped as he felt something in his pocket. He reached inside his jacket and took out the copy of Romeo & Juliet; biting his lip, he opened the cover and frowned. On on the title page it read in neat, graceful hand writing:

These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,

Which as they kiss consume...

I LOVE YOU.

Please love me back and I'll never be sad or cry ever again.

Before he really knew what to do or say, he was weeping, standing in the snow a few feet away from Toki, openly crying. He turned back towards the Norwegian and let the book fall to the ground. To his surprise, the guitarist had fallen to his knees and was holding his head in his hands, also crying.

"T-Toki," he said thru his sorrow. "You're crying. You never cry, you told me so. You said 'dat you're always happy now, that you never-"

"Yes I dos." he said, wiping his nose. "Only the last times I did I was fives years old and I was cryings because my parents didn'ts buy me any birthday presents." and he laid down on the snowy ground and said no more.

"How'd you learn how to write in English?"

"I teaches myself. It ams not so hard."

"Oh." he hesitated before saying, "Well why didn't you just tell me? You didn't have to learn the whole English language just to say that you loved me."

The guitarist shook his head and said brokenly, "I...I couldn'ts dos it...you ams just so nice and I knew that you didn't loves me. I was so scareds that I'd lose you and yous never would talk to me again..." and Toki's voice trailed off.

Without knowing quite what he was doing, Pickles laid down right next to him, not caring as the flecks of snow from above fell on his skin; he took off his jacket, covered Toki with it, and laid there with him, watching the tears roll down the Norwegian's face and melt the snow. He didn't realize that he was crying too. Only when Toki dared to reach forward and wipe a tear from his cheek did he realize what he was doing.

"You ams crying...you never cries."

The drummer looked solemn as he said, "No, I do all the time. I just don't let anybody see."

"I ams seeing it right now."

"That's because you're not just anybody," he whispered. "You're special—you're the only person I love in the whole damn world."

Toki gave him a little smile and said quietly, "I thought you didn'ts believe in love."

Pickles thought for a moment. "I...I guess I never did until I got to know you. You're just so great." There was a long moment of silence that followed his words. This crushing quietness brought a question to his mind. As his feet began to freeze and his bare arms began to quake with the loss of heat, he asked, "Toki?"

"Ja?"

"How long are you just gonna lay here?"

He wiped a tear from his cheek. "Forevers."

"Oh. Then that sucks, 'cause since I'm stayin' right here with you I'm gonna be really cold."

Toki smiled sadly and reached for the drummer's hand. He took it and held it tightly, as if it were the only thing keeping him alive. "Before I mets you I was always so confused, but now that I knows you it ams not really so bad...you solve all my problems, Pickle. Maybe you cans solve one mores thing for me, so I won'ts be confused no more?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Pickle, ams it bad that I wants to be with you? That I wants you to kiss me? Is it just because I ams fucked up inside, or-"

"No, you're perfect."

"Then what ams wrong with me? Why do I loves you so much?"

Pickles hesitated before admitting, his voice a quiet, timid whisper, "I don't know, but I know it's okay. It's all okay, I promise. It's all gonna-"

Without warning Toki began sobbing. He cried so hard that his whole body began shaking and all he could do was just crawl over and lay his head in the drummer's lap. Pickles didn't stop him, either, because that was Toki's problem—he'd always stopped himself, never let himself cry or just be sad. He had to just let it out, and if he had to break down right now, if he had no choice but to lose control and shatter into pieces, then that was okay. Pickles could help pull him back together again, help make him whole.

So they both sat there, drowning in one another's sorrow. Pickles knew well enough that if he tried to pull Toki back up too soon, he'd just crumble again; it was all up the guitarist to decide if he would get over all those years of pain—to forget and grow up a little. No, Pickles didn't want that. The drummer wanted Toki to stay as innocent as he could forever, not to be torn apart by the world like he himself had been.

The only thing that the drummer did was sit up and brush some snow from Toki's bare, heaving chest. He also ran a hand thru the guitarist's hair and whispered comfortingly, "Ssh, it's okay. I know, it sucks. I know, I know..."

Toki continued weeping until he had no tears left to cry. Eventually he quieted down and stopped shaking. His now placid eyes met Pickles' green ones. "I-I hates myself. You knows that?"

"But I love you."

He said weakly, "I just wants to die."

"No you don't. You're just sad, that's all. Haven't you ever felt sad?"

Toki nodded. "Of course I haves, but not likes this—this so much alls at once. It ams horrible...I feels sick."

"It's fine. You can be sick if you want. You can cry as much as you want and curse and just fuckin' burn the whole damn world—I don't care."

"You won't hates me?"

"Of course not. I'll love you forever, no matter what."

He forced a little, miserable smile to his face. "Pickle? You knows what I woulds really like?"

"Huh?"

"For you to kiss me rights now."

The drummer squeezed Toki's hand and kissed the still shaking guitarist until his eyes closed and he just lost himself. He really couldn't remember what his life had been like before Toki. Just empty and horribly bland, he imagined. How had he ever screwed anyone that wasn't the Norwegian? How could he ever live without this wonderful bliss every day of his life? He couldn't, and he couldn't' end the kiss, because as soon as he did then he would have to leave Toki. He'd have to leave, he knew that. No matter what, he'd step away and end it before it got out of control, before it consumed and destroyed the young guitarist's dream.

But it did end, and far too soon. As Toki broke away he was shaking again and one last tear was slipping down his cheek. Pickles delicately wiped it away and smiled down at him. "You know what we've gotta do, don't you? You know I won't be with you, that I can't. Not until you turn at least twenty."

"You ams still stuck on that?" Toki asked indignantly, sitting up. "I'ms no kid."

"I know, I know. You've been thru more shit and had to live with so much more pain than anyone could ever know, but still. I can't do it. Sorry." Pickles looked down and let go of the Norwegian's hand. "You wanna be the best guitarist in the world. I can't take 'dat away from you. You want a fuckin' family, a good life—a normal one. I'm not gonna keep that from you."

"But...but..." he shook his head. "Nos, it ams not like that! I choose to be with you! Don'ts you gets that? I love you."

"I know, it's just 'dat—the stupid, damn the world." the drummer sighed. "Fuck the whole world. You know what the world would think if they saw me goin' out with you? Kissing you and loving you? A twenty-three year old guy loving another guy who's only nineteen...the band would fall apart. Everything would fall apart."

"But you ams not that much older than me! Can'ts they see that?"

Pickles said sorrowfully, "No, Toki, they just won't. Nineteen. Teen. That scares the shit outta some people."

"Thens I can wait! Wes can wait!" Toki said, smiling brightly. "I'lls wait for you—for a whole year—untils we can be together."

"You're gonna wait to be with me until you're twenty?"

He nodded. "Ja, and then it won't seems so bad, right?"

Pickles thought about it and finally nodded. "Yeah, it'd be a little better, I guess." The only reason he agreed to this at all was because he knew how badly he wanted to be with Toki, how much he needed to be with him. It was going to happen, one way or another anyway, but a year was good—a year for the guitarist to see the world and maybe screw with some girls. It hurt, but it was the best way, so he just sighed and repeated, "Yeah, 'dat's good."

"Goods." he said confidently. "Then I'll waits for a year...withouts you..." his face gained a look of sadness. "Damns. A year ams a long time, huh?"

The drummer nodded once more. "Yeah, it sucks, but I really wanna be with you so damn bad. I'll wait forever if I have to."

"A whole fuckings year—except countings today, right? I mean, we're already together, so why not..." it was clear that he was thinking very deeply about something, and as Pickles opened his mouth to speak, Toki said, "Startings tomorrow morning, right? Not countings now?"

"What're you talkin' about?"

"Pickle, let's just spends tonight together, okay?" Toki was smiling now. Distractedly he began playing with some of his hair. "The last night we ams together."

"For a year." The words sank into his brain deeply, left a deep impression. A whole year, and then if Toki wasn't ready yet, it could be longer...Pickles rose to his feet. "C'mon, let's go up."

"Ups?"

Toki was waiting, waiting for the answer he wanted. He was waiting for Pickles to say, "To my room."

As soon as he had said this, the guitarist jumped to his feet and slipped his hand into the drummer's. "I just don't wants you to forgets me. You won't forgets me when we ams apart, will you? No matter how many girls you-"

"Toki, I'm nat gonna be seeing anyone else while we're split."

He smiled and said bitterly, "Ja you wills. Stop lying. It only makes it hurts more."

As they reached the front door Pickles turned and said, "Let me tell you somethin' about love—it don't work that way. You can't just be apart from the person that you love and forget about them. It's impossible. You're all I think about—what would Toki do, what would he say? You're all I care about, so what am I gonna do for a whole damn year without you? I'm gonna remember what tonight was like and drink a lot and do a shitload of drugs. 'Dat's it. I'll be thinking of you every day, never forgetting. I couldn't forget you, not for anything in the world."

Toki turned red and bit his lower lip timidly. "Okays, but can we just talks tonight?"

Pickles nodded. "Of course we can. We can do whatever you want to do."

Finallys I don't have to be alone. Toki thought. Thanks you God for letting me have him...he kissed the drummer quickly and shyly. "Gets me out of the cold, Pickle."

And Pickles couldn't help but wonder...what is love, anyway? It seemed to be a whole insane mixture of things, so how could you really call it just by one word? It was confusion, it was affection, it was total and unyielding acceptance; it was wonderful, it was something you found only a few times in your life. It was something that should be pure and right, but to him it was actually beginning to seem very wrong. Almost terrifying...

...whatever it was, it was something worth waiting for.

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E P I L O G U E

One year later all of Mordhaus was once again occupied with matters far more important than the recording of their album. It was Toki Wartooth's birthday, a a time of worldwide celebration. There were the usual happy-birthday things and all of that wonderful business, but Pickles couldn't help but somehow feel sad. As he watched Toki blow out the candles on his cake, he felt his heart skip a beat. They had both kept their promises—they had said scarcely one word to each other thru the course of the year. Neither gave the other the slightest indication of affection or even friendship.

Three-hundred and sixty-five days...twenty years old.

Everyone cheered as the little licking flames from the candles were blown out. Toki's eyes were shining as Pickles got up and gave him his birthday present. "Happy birthday, dude."

He took it and looked down, his face expressionless. "Thanks, Pickle." Everyone watched him open it and saw a look of pure childish delight come across his face. It was a teddy bear, one with a devil's tail and a big smile. Skwisgaar scoffed.

"Stupids, dumb gift. I bets he won't even likes it."

But Toki did like it. He loved it, and for a moment he lost himself. He jumped up out of his seat and threw himself into the drummer's arms. "Thanks you so much!" then he leaned a little closer and whispered, "I misses you so fuckings much."

"Get aff." and he pushed Toki away and quickly took his seat, glaring at the floor. Loving him hurt so damn much; if they couldn't even act like they were together, then how the hell could he even live with that? Pickles reached for a bottle of vodka that sat on the table and began drinking from it earnestly, taking large gulps.

Twenty years old and what had come of it? Nothing. He was obviously still a kid in the drummer's eyes. Toki watched as Pickles sat down and he felt his heart grow cold. He prayed that the drummer would still love him, that he would ask him to be his forever, because he wanted so badly to kiss him again. He wanted so badly to be loved again.

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Later that night once the party was over and the mess was cleaned up Toki went up to his room. He stretched out on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, hugging his teddy bear close. As soon as the party had ended Pickles had retreated up into his own room with several bottles of booze. He wouldn't even look at Toki anymore, but why?

Thinking about it made him cry. He'd waited so damn long, and now Pickles didn't even care? Toki sniffled and blinked, trying to see thru his tear-filled eyes. He was so stuck in his own despair that he didn't even notice it as the door to his bedroom opened. Pickles stood in the doorway, holding a neatly wrapped present. He went silently over and knelt next to Toki's bed. The guitarist didn't even look at him.

"Hey, are you okay?" gently he pressed a hand to the Norwegian's tear-soaked cheek. Toki bit his lip and shook his head.

"Of course I'm nots okay; I thoughts you didn't care."

Pickles smiled and brushed his lips against the guitarist's. "How could anyone not care about you?"

That was all it took. In a moment Toki had sat up in his bed and Pickles was sitting next to him. The drummer reached for present he had brought with him and offered it to the Norwegian. "I brought you something. One last present." he slipped the little wrapped package into Toki's hand.

"What ams it?" he asked, tearing off the wrapping paper. Inside was a slightly bent copy of Romeo & Juliet. A smile grew across his face as he flipped open to the title page and read what he had written so long ago. "These violent delights haves violent ends...it ams my favorite lines in the whole book." then he met Pickles' gaze. "You kepts it? Whys would you do that? It ams a stupid book."

"Because that little thing you wrote is the whole reason that I bothered to wake up every morning for the past year." Pickles said. He said, not even looking at the actual words, "I love you. Please love me back and I'll never be sad or cry ever again." In the past year he'd learned the whole little message by heart. He'd stayed up long hours of the night reading it over and over.

"But you don'ts loves me back," Toki said sadly. "Not no mores. You thinks I'm boring and horribles, huh?"

Pickles ignored Toki's words and gave him a little kiss."Happy birthday, Toki. I love you."

Neither of them said anything for a while; Toki just laid back on the bed and rested is head on Pickles' lap. Honestly the drummer was terrified; terrified that if he got in too deep again he'd pull back and make himself wait again...but no, there was no need for that now. Toki was twenty, not a teenager anymore, and he was ready. He knew that the Norwegian was ready. Ready to be loved, ready to finally accept the fact that he no longer desired a wife or kids. It was a huge sacrifice, but clearly one that Toki had decided to make a year ago on that snowy Christmas day.

"Pickle, ams we really going to be together now? I'm so damns tired of waiting. Are you ready?"

"Fuck yeah I am." he took Toki's hand and thought for a moment before asking, "What do you think it means?"

"Huh?" the guitarist looked up at him curiously. "What ams means what?"

"These violent delights have violent ends...what do you think it means?"

Toki paused before admitting, "Honestly, I thinks it ams just all a loads of crap. The words ams so beautiful, but the story is just shit. Don't you thinks so? Don't you thinks that love ams dumb, littles kid stuff—not reals?"

Pickles glanced down at him and grinned. "Fuck yes. Love sucks. It's made-up and it ain't real. Only an idiot would ever think that he's in love."

"Only an idiots would ever let himself falls in love." Toki agreed, closing his eyes and smiling. "Only an idiots..."

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**A/N**

And there you go, that's the end. Yes, I know I've been updating quickly, but I'm going up to Mississippi for Thanksgiving vacation [-_-] so I wanted to finish this story before I left. It's a miracle that anyone even liked it, because I literally just sat down at my computer one day and began typing random B.S.

Sorry if you wanted to actually read about them having sex. I threw the idea in my mind around for a while, but ultimately decided not to include that in this story because I didn't want to distract away from anything else. Plus, sex is not love and love is not sex, so I didn't really think it had a place in this particular fanfic. It's not that I hate it, but I just didn't include it. Also, a good point was brought up about Pickles' exact age. I didn't know at the time I began typing this story how old he was-31, apparently-but this takes place waaaay before the first episode of the show. I wouldn't have made him that old anyway, because Toki would've still been 19, and although age is just a number, I thought that might seem almost creepy. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the story. Thank you all for reviewing and for those of you who haven't, reviews are love.

Peace, Love, TOKI/PICKLES