This is just a short fun one. I always wondered under what circumstances Booth found out about Bones' way too large gun that she liked to tote around and which proved too much for her during the Halloween episode where she "accidentally" shot Booth. Here is my short take on it, with a bit of a romantic twist for a little AU aspect. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg.
FYI: This story is set before the Heller decision issued by the Supreme Court, so the rather inflexible DC handgun ban was still in place.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Booth was not too sure how this was going to work out. Somehow Bones had gotten through the labyrinth of of regulations and got an exception to the DV handgun law, which meant that even though she was not law enforcement, she could own and maintain a handgun. That being said, she had instantly called Booth and told him she was going to be "packing heat" (and how the HELL did she ever learn that phrase?) to crime scenes and when they were in field. Booth could picture in his mind all the damn paperwork that was going to be flying his way when she let loose with a few rounds if a suspect so much as farted in the wrong direction. Well, at least he could do some damage control. He called in a few favors and was carrying a number of pistol cases down to the firing range, all holding different types of handguns. He intended on helping her choose an "appropriate" one for her. He was sending up desperate pleas to the man upstairs that she would possibly be in the mood for a nice, somewhat safe, BB gun.
When he arrived he found Bones there, eager as ever when a gun was involved, and waiting for him. He sighed. No one should be that excited over a gun. Ever. He of all people should know that given that he had been a sniper. But Bones was a hard core believer in protecting herself, and he had to admit that he admired that in her in many ways. He just wished she would stick to the martial arts for that protection.
"Hey, Bones," he said as he went over to a table and set down the pistol cases.
Bones looked at Booth and smiled. She always loved it when he was in casual attire. He looked fabulous in his $1,200 suits, but there was just something about how his jeans just hugged that perfect male ass of his that made her mouth water. She'd wanted him for the longest time, and now that he'd so strongly taken her side in the whole situation with her new Boss, Dr. Saroyan, she wanted him even more. She hadn't been with anyone since David a number of months ago, and she knew Booth wasn't involved with anyone at the moment, so maybe she should push the boundaries a bit.
"Hi, Booth," she said, an excited tone to her voice. She had a surprise for him, and was waiting for the perfect moment to spring it on him.
"Come over here, Bones," he said with a smile. Damn she looked HOT! She was wearing some sweat pants, low slung on her hips, and a loose t-shirt cut up about halfway up her midriff. All that succulent, firm abdominal skin showing was enough to make a Saint want to convert.
"What is all of this, Booth?" Bones asked as she stepped in close. She could practically smell the heady pheromones she always noticed when she was near him.
"Well, you got a handgun permit, though I don't know how the Hell you managed that one, and we need to get you a gun that will be god for you," he told her. "I have a number of different handguns with me, and I want you to try each one and determine which one is best. That way when you go purchase yours, you'll know which one you want."
"I already bought a gun," Bones told him, a proud smile on her face and a glint in her eyes.
Booth closed his eyes and prayed for strength. Obviously the slim, almost non-existent, possibility of her agreeing to the BB gun was now completely flushed down the toilet. Well, it was really non-existent to begin with, but a guy could always have hope, couldn't he? "Really?" he asked. He vowed to find the gun dealer who sold her the handgun and scare the scumbag so bad that the guy would go rushing to Church begging for forgiveness.
"Uh, huh," she told him. "I brought it here so I could spend some time having some target practice, and have you make sure that I can handle it properly." She added that last one in so that he would not have his male ego too damaged. Men were too sensitive at times in her opinion.
Booth puffed up with a bit of pride at that one. "Sure, Bones," he told her as he went to the firing line with her.
Bones pulled out a pistol case and opened it. She wasn't paying attention to Booth, though, so she was surprised when she heard him practically yell.
"What the HELL is that?" he said very loudly, almost having a stroke when he saw the gun she'd obviously purchased.
"It's my new handgun," she told him, looking on the thing with pride. Hers was bigger than his!
"It's a God damn CANNON!" Booth shouted. He swore to himself he was going to find and beat the shit out of whoever decided that this was an okay gun for her to buy.
"It's a five shot fifty caliber pistol, Bones!" he shouted. "If that doesn't meet the definition of a canon, then someone has no concept of what a cannon really is!"
"You're just jealous, Booth," she told him smugly.
"Jealous?" he shot her an incredulous look.
"Because mine's bigger than yours," she told him.
He groaned. "This isn't a contest, Bones," he told her. He pulled out his personal weapon, a 9mm. "This is perfectly suited to stop any suspect and do some damage if need be. Try this one."
"I want to shoot my gun," she protested. "I bought it, and I intend on shooting it."
"You shoot that thing at anyone with anything other than a kill shot and you'll rip them to shreds!" he shrieked.
"I know," she grinned. "I purchased frangible ammunition for it to do just that."
"Jesus!" Booth moaned. He could see that small mountain of future paperwork that she would cause him to suffer through becoming an Everest sized pile. Then he noticed something. Under her short t-shirt he could see her nipples hardening. This was turning her on! Leave it to him to have a partner, best friend, and a woman he wanted more than anything, who got turned on at the thought of seriously fucking someone up, no matter how much the sleaze buckets deserved it. "Do you have target rounds?" he asked finally. He was resigned to the fact that his wonderful plan of making her compromise on a sensible weapon was now in flames.
"Of course," she replied as she took out a box of target ammunition.
"Do you know how to load this particular weapon?" he continued.
"Naturally," she told him, rolling her eyes just a bit.
Booth was going to make damn sure that she knew how to do everything when it came to this pistol, or cannon, or whatever anyone wanted to call the damn thing. He was a former Ranger and sniper, and as such was well trained as a marksman and weapons instructor. If he was going to be filling out paperwork until the end of time due to Bones being a bit trigger happy, it sure as Hell wasn't going to be because she mishandled the damn cannon.
"Show me," Booth ordered, all clinical now that they were on the firing line. He watched as Bones carefully, and correctly, loaded the weapon. He couldn't find any flaw, outside of the fact that the thing dwarfed her hand. She'd be lucky if it didn't break her wrist when she fired it!
Bones was surprised at how arousing it was to be on the receiving end of Booth in charge. This wasn't like in the field where she could question his comments and directions. This was his element, like the lab was hers, and his Alpha Male demeanor once they got to the firing line. She'd noticed him looking at her breasts and knew he could see her nipples which were now almost painfully erect. She had a bra on, but it wasn't enough to hide that very noticeable reaction, especially when only wearing a thin t-shirt over it. She finished loading the weapon and looked over at Booth and almost gasped. The deeply penetrating look he had as he monitored what she was doing was increasing her arousal almost exponentially.
"Good," Booth noted. He checked the firing line to make sure that they were still the only ones there and he continued. "Now put on your protective glasses and your headphones." He ran through the litany, and then gave the go ahead. A loud crack sounded as she took her first shot. He noted that she barely held onto the gun as she shot it, and he snorted knowingly. He was glad that she didn't notice him doing so, though.
"Damn!" Bones cursed. She was ordinarily a very good shot on the range, but this shot had gone high and to the right. She would have torn the suspects left arm off if a frangible had hit where she'd placed the shot on this one. Right at the juncture of the ball and socket of the shoulder.
"I told you that cannon was too big for you," Booth couldn't resist playing a little 'I told you so'.
"I just need to get used to it," she retorted.
"Bones, why don't you just admit it's too much gun for you, and we can find you a nice one that is just right for you and your size hands," he tried to be compromising. "If nothing else I know you are capable of using my backup piece, so why don't we get you that model?"
"No," she said, predictably. "I figure I deserve two guns. The one I bought, and then one I am more accustomed to handling." She was tired to being so turned on, so she decided to deal with both issues at once. She was sure that Booth wouldn't mind. Once he understood what she was talking about, that is.
"Two?" he looked at her in horror. He could see the paperwork tripling right then.
"Yes," she told him. "This one I will compromise on and only take it into the field when there is a reasonable likelihood of us needing to use a weapon. I will also agree not to take it out until we have done enough practice shooting with it on the range so that I am comfortable with it."
"Now that's at least reasonable, Bones," he said, relieved. He was going to make damn sure she never got comfortable with the ridiculously oversized handgun. "And what's this about another gun?"
Bones smiled wickedly as she moved next to him and calmly placed her hand on the slight bulge in his pants. She could tell that he was not fully aroused, but he was getting there. "This gun, Booth," she informed him. She lowered her voice a bit and added in a husky tone, "And I've got the perfect holster for it, too. Assuming you want to get in some extra specialized target practice this afternoon at my apartment."
Booth's jaw almost clanged to the floor and his eyes were about to pop out of his skull. He could tell she was serious, and this was something he'd dreamed about for as long as he'd known her. Talk about a fantasy come to life! Propositioned in the damn FBI firing range of all places! He'd make sure that he swiped the security footage the next morning before anyone could check it. For now, though, he had some "target practice" to attend to.
"Lead the way, Bones," he told her with a devastatingly charming smile.
"Remember that sentence for when we are out in the field and I have my gun," she told him as she made her way to the door since she had put away her gun in it's case and Booth had quickly grabbed all the cases he'd brought with him.
"When this afternoon is done with, Bones, we are going to have a long talk," he told her. "About a lot of things."
"Who said we'll be done this afternoon?" she winked. "Or even before morning?" she added over her shoulder.
Booth made a mental note to himself. First, if this was going to be the end result, he was going to make sure that he and Bones went to the firing range a lot in the future. Second, he made a note to check and see if the Church had a Patron Saint for sexual stamina. There was a Patron Saint for almost everything else, and he figured he could use all the help he could get. But what a way to get a workout! And all because Bones got a gun. He'd have to find the Nimrod who approved the permit and make sure the guy got a promotion. Then he'd work on finding Bones a smaller gun that she would find acceptable. Yeah, right. He was destined to do paperwork because of her for the rest of his life.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this one. I wanted a fun, lighthearted one that dealt with the cannon she loves so much and Booth despises. Gregg.