Summary: For two weeks every summer, the Hales and Cullens vacation at the lake. For two weeks every summer, Rosalie tortures Emmett. Will this year be any different? [AU/AH, canon pairings, lemons]
Chapter One: No Such Luck
"Mom, Dad," I started carefully, clearing my throat in preparation for my carefully thought-out speech. Two pairs of green eyes met mine. "I'm not going to the lake this year. I'd rather just stay here, keep an eye on the house… I'm seventeen this year; I'm old enough to be left alone for two weeks."
"I don't know if we can trust you," she said, wrinkling her brow. "Remember what happened the last time we left you home alone? The party? The hole in the floor?"
"Why exactly don't you want to go, son? We always have so much fun at the lake," he said, looking politely puzzled.
"I'll tell you why!" I exclaimed. "Every single year, the Hales rent the cabin beside us, and Rosalie just skips around in those shorts and bikinis—"
"Emmett—" he tried to interrupt, but I continued on.
"And she never gives me any! Never! She's such a fucking tease but so fucking pure, and I can't take it anymore!" I said dramatically.
"Emmett—" he was laughing now.
"Do you have any idea what that does to a person? Blue balls so fierce I begin to doubt if they'll even function anymore!"
Alice couldn't take it anymore and broke down, cackling and slapping the table in front of her as tears of mirth ran down her face. Edward shook his head, still laughing.
"They are never going to go for that," he told me. I crossed my arms. "You'll need a legit reason if you want to stay home."
"That is a legit reason," I insisted. "I know you've got Bella tossing it around all over the place at you, so maybe you can't sympathize, but it's bad, man."
"Hey! Don't talk about my friend that way!" Alice commanded, still not able to keep a straight face.
"I just probably wouldn't try that reason with Mom and Dad," Edward said, shrugging.
Shit. I'll show him. If nothing, Dad will have pity on me. One thing was for sure, come hell or high water, I was not going to the lake this year, and that was final.
Fuck. My. Life.
I was sandwiched in the backseat of the car with Alice and Edward, and after five excruciating hours we were almost to the lake.
Mom still had not stopped yelling at me about my request to stay home.
"And you just stay away from Rosalie Hale!" she continued, twisting around in her seat and pointing at me threateningly. "She's a good girl and I cannot believe you were putting that kind of pressure on her!"
"I wasn't putting any pressure on her!" I argued. "I was the one suffering, you know! I never even touched her!"
"Well, let's keep it that way," she said, glaring at me.
I could see the Hale's cabin as we pulled up at ours. Mr. and Mrs. Hale, Jasper, and Rosalie were all outside, unloading the car.
"I mean it, Emmett," my mom warned me again. "Just stay away from her."
Jeez, they act like I'm a rapist or something. Which was completely ridiculous. I mean, would I be having this fucking problem if I were a rapist?
I got out of the car, holding the door as Alice climbed out behind me.
"Emmett!" I heard someone call. "It's so nice to see you again!"
I turned to see Rosalie waving to me, smiling for all she was worth.
This was going to be a long two weeks.
AN: In typical Anna fashion, this first chapter is a short one – just a teaser to see who's interested. Leave a review, because that's what will decide if I keep with it, or scrap it! :D