This was clawing and screaming in me to get out since I just saw the Megamind movie yesterday with my family. I'm unsure whether I'll leave it as a oneshot or not.
It's rough and unedited and probably somewhat ramble-format but it wouldn't leave me alone.
Diss the Claim: I do not own Megamind nor any products or merchandise affiliated with it.
Can be seen as friendship or preslash depending on preferences.
It was another useless attempt, wasn't it?
Megamind sat down with a huff in his usual corner, his unnaturally skinny frame barely blocking Metroboy's view of the wooden paneling in front of him.
He'll always try to one-up everything I do, won't he?
Metroboy put down the teacher and fought the impulse to pout. Since the day he saw Megamind for (what he mistakenly believed was) the first time at school, he'd known they were two sides of the same coin- destined to be great friends and allies for the greater good of the world!
Megamind casually set off a smoke bomb and darted out of the building, leaving everyone else to follow, choking on the unforgiving gases as the ran out the door. Metroboy rolled his eyes irritably when he got clear, Or at least I thought so!
Metroboy turned to watch Megamind's usual victory dance only- this time he was just picking at his nails? Metroboy's cheeks flushed angrily at the nonchalance the blue boy was displaying and landed on the ground so he could stomp over without looking like an idiot bicycling through the air.
"Why are you always so mean?" Metroboy stamped one foot down, causing a small crater and unintentionally jouncing Megamind slightly.
Megamind straightened indignantly, "Easy for you to say! Everybody likes you!"
"They like me because I'm nice to them!" Metroboy glared, unaware of his classmates edging a few feet away and breaking into a full out sprint behind him.
"It's not like I didn't try being nice!" The smaller boy shouted, his head tilted upwards and accentuating the immense size of his forehead. Metroboy was surprised to realize he had begun to float upwards from frustration alone and consciously slammed his feet back to terra firma. The shock-wave knocked Megamind off his feet this time and the stumbling before and after the fact was highly comical with his flailing blue limbs and jumpy countenance. He whined as he stood, "Aren't you supposed to be the good guy?"
"I am the good guy!" Metroboy did not like where this was going. Ethical discussions always ended in a shouting match as people simply couldn't understand that good and evil were as easy to see as black and white. Or at least, they were for him.
"Then why did you let them- help them all just ignore me and- vill-ane-eeze me!"
Metroboy was not sure if Megamind was simply making up words at this point, but far too upset by the overall comment to remark on the garbled parody of some possible word that had somehow worked its way through Megamind's brain and out his mouth. "Because you were being bad!"
Megamind opened his mouth to retort, but at that point the warden of the local high security jail gripped both his arms firmly from behind. Caught unaware, Megamind struggled with wide eyes until he realized who was holding him. He calmed down and the graying man released his arms only to have the blue male turn and offer his hands to be handcuffed as he was led into the jail's bus.
"Hey wait-" Metroboy grabbed Megamind's shoulder carefully without the use of super-strength and curtly had his grip jostled off when Megamind dropped his shoulder under, then around his hand. "I'm not done with you!"
Megamind paused, turning to narrow his eyes at the young hero, "Yes, well, I have to go home now, and as you can see, I'm not given much of a choice." He raised his handcuffs as evidence momentarily and hopped ungainly onto the yellow bus. As soon as the vehicle began to move away, a few of the terrified students began to inch their way out from behind the school building. Fights between the two were frequent and destructive.
One student, however, was still sitting on the front steps of the school, unnoticed even by the teacher until she spoke up, "You guys are kinda mean to him."
Looking over at the cross-eyed girl with a stern expression, Metroboy replied, "He lives in a prison. You have to do something really bad to go to jail."
"What?" She asked curiously, even as Metroboy was uncomfortably trying to choose which eye to meet the gaze of.
The question, however, gave Metroboy pause. "I... don't know."
"You should ask him," She confided, "You can get a lot of information out of him with just one question. I asked him for help with a math problem once and he explained it, and then started going off about how it could be used to create baloney from a cactus or something."
Not at all doubting that Megamind had once attempted to turn cacti into baloney, Metroboy patted her on the shoulder, mentally squirming at the idea of simply asking Megamind why he lived in a jail, "I'll keep that in mind."
The girl beamed and hobbled off towards the other students- all of which were green with envy that she'd managed to help Metroboy before they could.
"Mom! I'm home!" called Metroboy, also known as,
"Stevey-sweet!" His ruby-haired mother swept him up in a suffocating hug and he thrashed as he drowned in her unnaturally enlarged bosum. Gently thrashed, of course, no use breaking Mommy.
"Mo-om, call me Steve," Steve expressed, eyes anxiously surveying the parameters for anyone who might've invaded the house and heard his mother's embarrassing endearment. He wouldn't put it past Megamind.
She pouted, her blood-colored lipstick glistening on her beestung lips, "You're growing up so fast! Someday you won't need your dear mummy anymore, and you'll leave me here all alone!" She bawled dramatically and pulled him close.
"Mom, Dad'll still be here!" Steve hissed, pushing his mother just enough to get her to relase her death grip. If I wasn't impervious, she would have killed me with one of those hugs when I was a baby...
Her dyed hair flounced as she stumbled a few steps back, "You know he doesn't count, he's rarely all here if you understand my meaning."
Steve definitely understood where she was going with this train of thought and nodded defeatedly. It wasn't that his dad was insane, he was just- well- Actions speak louder than words...
"Honey, Steve's home!" Metroboy's mother called since she had remembered her husband's existence.
"Steve?" Came the questioning call from the study.
"Our son?" His mother answered back in almost the same tone- disregarding the hint of caustic sarcasm.
Silence bounced off the high ceilings and opulent moldings decorating the walls, giving the chandelier a cold feeling despite the many candles burning brightly. Steve knew his mother had banned cold tones throughout the house in an effort to make it cozier, but it just took two words from his father to destroy the whole effect. His parents had adopted him- or his father had as a present to his mother, he wasn't really sure of the details- but it seemed like only his mother truly wanted him as part of the family. His father didn't hate him, but he certainly didn't care for him either. Even his powers were a mere trifling in his father's eyes.
"Well, Frank?" Steve's mother put her hands on her hips even though only Steve would see it.
A sigh echoed from the other room, "Coming Melinda..." As his father arranged his work so he could bring it with him to greet his son, Melinda tapped her foot impatiently as Steve fidgeted.
"I really wish you wouldn't do this," He groused, playing with the hems of his sleeves.
Frank walked in with a law book open in one hand, a pencil tucked behind one ear, and a sheaf of papers under his other arm, "I love you son." He flipped a page, "Welcome home." That said, he shuffled out of the large entry way and back to doldrums of saving crooks and innocent alike from the maws of the state penitentiary. With that thought in his head, Metroboy began to feel guilt stir in his stomach with the cross-eyed girl's words returning to him and even Megamind's, which he had not yet given much thought to, but most likely should. Then why did you let them- help them... Steve shook his head; hewas the good guy here, the hero. Megamind was just some evil villain that needed to be brought to justice. Although he was already in jail...
"Sweetie, do you have any homework?" Melinda queried, breaking the silence as well as Steve's train of thought.
Wracking his memory, Steve recalled that the teacher had forgotten to assign any due to Megamind's... Whatever it was he'd created this time to make so much smoke. "No, I don't have any."
Melinda smiled, "Then go have fun."
Unfortunately Steve's thoughts were already spiraling back to Megamind and he wondered if there was anyone who would sincerely care enough to ask this sort of thing of him at the prison or if he was too evil even for other evil people to love. "Can I go visit a friend's house?" The words jumped ship from his lips without any prompting from his brain and he wondered unhappily if that counted as a lie.
Melinda clapped her hands together and beamed, "Of course!"
Probably delighted I have a friend to visit. They didn't talk much about school, and Steve didn't really know any of his classmates well enough to count them as friends to talk about, so his mother had been understandably worried about his social skills. "When should I be back?"
Melinda's eyes softened, "That's my boy, so responsible and thoughtful, unlike a certain someone who shall remain unnamed. Just be back before it gets dark, alright? Do you need any bus money?"
"No, I still have half of my allowance," Which would be more than enough for a round trip to the jail and back. Steve wasn't sure why he felt he needed to know, to be able to explain precisely whyMegamind was evil but something was urging him to find out and to find out right then. "I'll be fine."
"Be good," Melinda kissed him on the forehead and half smothered him with a crushing embrace. Steve hastily left before she could call his father to force an awkward farewell out of him.
Debating whether to run and save money or rest comfortably on the leather seats of a very expensive bus, Steve's tight-fisted nature (influenced mainly by his father) kicked in and he ran as quickly as he could to the barbed wire fences that surrounded Megamind's home.
"You 'ere to see somebody?" A guard spat warily.
"Am I allowed I go in and see someone?" Steve hedged uncertainly.
The man laughed harshly, "O' course lad, s'long as they aren't in isolation. What's their name?"
Desperately Steve tried to remember the blue boy's real name but slumped in resignation as he knew the effort to be futile, "He calls himself Megamind?"
"Oh you mean li'l Blueberry," the unshaven man grinned gruesomely, a stark contrast to his uptight and emotionless fellow guards.
Metroboy had to stifle a giggle; he could see why Blueberry didn't want anyone knowing his real name. "Yeah, that's him."
"I'm glad 'e's got some friends now, 'e's been rather lonely in 'ere wit all us burly men and no boys to 'ang about wit." He pulled a laminated pass on a necklace out and strung it around an even guiltier Steve's neck, "There you are, now go on, 'e's in block eight, cell five right now; jus' show the guard there your pass an' 'e'll let you into 'is cell." The man tipped his black helmet as he opened the secondary door into the jail.
Steve stalked in, sure he was stronger than anything in there, if a little nervous about talking to Megamind for the first time without the easy, expediating flow of righteous anger greasing his words. As he made his way towards cell five, the guard seemed to have passed the word along and several of the inmates began to quiet their jeering comrades with a growled, "He's here for Blueberry." Steve rolled his eyes when a red-faced man with a portly and hunched stature shook his fist at him, ignoring or not hearing his cell mate's explanation of how great it was that Blueberry had someone coming to visit him.
The concrete floors, though surprisingly clean, still echoed eerily over the prisoners' voices as Steve made his way down the hall. Finally, after locating a metal wrought "eight" hanging lopsided on a rusty nail, Metroboy caught sight of a flash of blue and wandered over to the guard in charge of the block.
"I'm here to see Blueberry?" Again his voice went upwards in that thrice-cursed questioning tone and Steve inwardly belittled himself for his fears.
The guard looked down at him blankly, one cheek squashed oddly by the hand supporting his listing head, "Who?"
"Blue kid?" Steve hissed anxiously, gesturing to indicate a big head.
Light returned to the insipid guard's eyes, "Oh you mean Prisoner B11C5."
Deciding this man seemed distanced from any sort of personal relationship with Megamind enough to not take offense at his question, Steve hurriedly asked in one breath, "Do you know what he did to be put here so young?"
"No, I'm pretty new here, sorry," The man replied anything but apologetically, waving one hand dismissively, "However he's just a kid, so I'll let you go in to the cell to see him. Just watch out for that glowing binky-thing of his."
In a matter of moments Steve was locked into the cell with Blueberry, who was looking at him in dismay.
"Don't tell me you've gone and gotten yourself arrested; that's my gig!" He cried, gesticulating broadly.
Steve had to bite his lip to keep from laughing- why did he dislike this guy again? Shaking his head, he replied, "No I'm just visiting."
"...visiting?" Somehow Steve barely noticed Blueberry's movement until he was holding an odd glowing gun he'd been messing with in class to Steve's head, grinning manically, "Somehow, I don't think I believe you."
Steve tensed, ready to run the moment Megamind twitched a muscle in his trigger finger, "Then why am I not doing whatever it is I came to do right now? You know I'm faster and stronger than you are." It would have been faster to tackle the boy to the bed, but Steve didn't think that sort of thing would put him in a talking mood.
Megamind opened his mouth cockily, then froze. "You've got something else planned."
"Yeah I do," Steve breathed in relief, "I just want to talk to you."
A flicker of hope appeared in Megamind's green eyes before a maniacally furious storm clouded the expression. "No, no, no how could you have known? It's not like I told- well I told the entire prison, disregarding the guards, but they can't really get out to tell you- unless-" Blueberry dropped his gun in favor of an accusing finger, "You've been surreptitiously eavesdropping using your super hearing to figure out exactly how I was planning the prison break! Well I've got you all figured out! Now I just won't go through with it and you'll have no evidence and no grounds on which to attack me! Let's see who laughs last now!" He sat down heavily on the bed, crossing his arms and legs and turning his head away from the little hero standing with his mouth dropped open in front of him.
Now I remember why I don't like him, Steve scowled. "I really did just come here to talk, you know."
"And I live here for kicks," Blueberry shot back.
Steve stopped his mouth before it could continue on without him. It was the perfect opening... "Why do you live here?"
Megamind rolled his eyes, "Like you don't remember."
There was a long silence before Blueberry turned to him dramatically, "You must be joking."
Feeling like he was getting no where and inching slightly towards the cell door, Steve affirmed, "I sincerely have no clue what you're speaking of."
The big-headed boy's skeptical face collapsed and his eyes grew a smidgen wider, "You have to remember, though, it- it was the birth of our rivalry! It was the beginning of everything! It was when Fate separated good from evil!"
Steve's eyebrows creased and curiousity warred violently with the growing horrified realization that Blueberry was utterly, imcomprehensively mad. "What happened?"
The pleading light in Blueberry's eyes went out, "You- you really don't remember?" He looked down, not waiting for a response, "We were both babies when we left our home planets to escape a black hole-"
"If we were babies, how did we-"
"Alright, our parents blasted us off into the solar system in little rockets, happy?" Blueberry snapped, "Now do you want to hear the rest or not?"
Despite his uncertainties, Steve nodded and sat beside Blueberry on the bed. The boy inched slightly away from him.
"...Well, as I said, our parents sent us off to save us from the imminent destruction of our planets and although your ride across the stars was smooth as pie," Steve mouthed 'smooth as pie' disbelievingly as Blueberry continued accusingly, "Your rocket knocked my rocket off course and I was ping-ponged through asteroid belt after asteroid belt all the way to Earth." Here Blueberry glared and Steve instinctively apologized. Blueberry twitched slightly and shook his head before continuing off-handedly, "Minyan and I were slightly bruised, but none the worse for the wear."
"You call your fish Minion?"
"Yes, Minyan. Now if you don't mind...?"
"Right, sorry, continue."
Blueberry eyed him strangely for his second apology in under a minute, but took up the storyline once more, "When we did reach earth, I-" Blueberry glanced at Metroboy and Steve was surprised to see what looked like guilt pass over the blue boy's visage before he tore his eyes away, "I thought you did it on purpose, but again you knocked me off course and instead of landing in that illustrious mansion I was headed for, I ended up here." Megamind shrugged, still not meeting Steve's eyes, "I guess it really was just fate favouring good over evil once again."
Steve's mind was slightly blown and he held his temples as he attempted to process the enormity of this revelation. Even if the rest wasn't true- no, he'd known the blue boy long enough to know if he was lying or telling the truth, and- the whole "alien" explanation really summed up the genius blue boy and super-powered flying boy without any real loose ends. "So you weren't put in here for your crimes, you just- landed here?"
Blueberry nodded, slightly confused, "I'm starting to think I should build a memory-erasing ray with the way you keep acting like this is all vital information. Are you plotting something?"
"Don't build the ray, I'm not- plotting anything, geeze. I- I thought you were the bad guy-"
Megamind's frown deepened, "I am."
"No, you're not; you're just a kid who got- well, knocked off course." Blueberry opened his mouth to refute that and Steve held up a hand to staunch the flow of what would surely be a derogatorily condescending list of all the "bad" things Blueberry had done. "No, I know you've done bad things, but my mom always says doing a bad thing every so often doesn't make a person bad and here I was thinking you- thinking you were evil and- the worst part is, it's all my own fault!"
"I'm a little offended you think anything you've done could make me so very brilliantly evil but I'm enjoying the self-inflicted suffering, so please, go on."
Steve finally raised his head to see Blueberry's and gripped him by the shoulders, "I'm going to fix you."
Blueberry laughed and, despite himself, asked, "How?"
The flinty, determined look in Steve's eyes scared Blueberry slightly (though he'd never admit to it) as Metroboy pulled Megamind into the first hug he'd ever had, "I'm going to be your friend."
Blueberry felt something inside of him melting and panicked, struggling to escape the hero's embrace, but Steve tightened his arms just enough to keep him from struggling. Steve felt Blueberry's hands grasp his back gingerly and rest his pointy chin on the boy hero's shoulder. "My real name is- is Blueberry," he whispered, a hint of confusion still coloring his voice.
The bite-sized hero grinned, though Blueberry couldn't see it. "I'm Steve, and from today on, I'm your friend."
Blueberry's hands spasmed slightly, but he didn't pull away, "I'm still a villain, you know. I always will be."
Steve impulsively made a promise he would eventually forget, and just as impulsively break, "Then I'll be your hero, and I'll stop you every time."