Thank you to my beta kiohates! I wanted to write a Baka to Test fic for a while, and this idea finally made it to posting!
Warning: This fic shall contain yaoi. Also Minami/Miharu. If any of these things bug you, BAIL NOW!
Oh...and I don't own Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu...though it would be really fun if I did.
Here It Goes Again ~ Ok Go
The English language is full of some of the strangest words. Take, for example, the word 'shag.' Not only is it not a very pretty word, ending in a letter that makes it sound like you really can't swallow, but the word is confused. It is not uncommon for a word to occupy more than one part of speech; oh no this is the norm for many words. But then you have 'shag.' Which is a noun, a verb, an idiom, and slang, and some of these parts of speech refer to several completely different things/actions.
How can one word describe a haircut, a small rodent, and a dance step? This same word can also be used to mean "to pursue," "to catch," (because that isn't confusing), as well as "to make shaggy or rough." And that is just scratching the surface.
Troublesome little rebel, this word 'shag.'
But it is none of these meanings that is causing me trouble right now. You see, the four-lettered devil possesses one more meaning: "to have quick, spur-of-the moment sex with a random person." Or something akin to that.
It is this meaning that has led to my pondering as I wake up, completely naked, amidst the "post-shagging stupor" stage of the lovely shagging process.
I wrack my brain, but memories of how I got here are pretty fuzzy. I turn my head to see whose legs are currently tangled with mine underneath the quilt that's nestled around me.
I say the name out loud and he grumbles incoherently, pulling the covers up around his shoulders.
Oh no. This is bad. This is very, very bad. I know this, and yet I can't bring myself to stand, gather my clothes and get myself the hell out of Minami's house, even though I know it must be a random hour of the morning and this was supposed to be a sleepover. But I should go. Because there is someone coming up the stairs. And when they find me, I might not have a brain to ponder with by the time they're done with me.
Chapter 1: Here It Goes Again
"Aki! Akihisa! Kleiner idiot!" Minami yells from the kitchen. As per usual, she adds a bit of German to almost every phrase when she starts to get annoyed. Akihisa can be a bit hard of hearing at times, but when in a house full of teenagers playing music, video games and being generally obnoxious, it makes things even worse. In an effort to keep her from blowing her lid, "I'll get him," I say from my place perched on the counter.
"Danke. He didn't refill the punch bowl." She smirks at me and takes my seat, sticking her tongue out. Minami is one of the most energetic and hotheaded people I know. Before high school she moved here from Germany knowing little to no Japanese. My group befriended her and helped her 'assimilate.' In the end, she wound up teaching us more German than we taught her Japanese and now we can use a sort of hybrid language.
That is to say, all of us except Akihisa Yoshii, the "little idiot." When we met freshman year, he was picked on for being the dumbest person in the school, even by some of the teachers. While it is true that Aki isn't the shiniest apple on the tree, he really is a nice guy. He also has a nice empty house. His parents are never home which means we're almost always here. It's a nice arrangement. Akihisa never has any money but he has the place. So we all crash on his couch but bring our own games and food.
Giggling sounds from a corner I pass and I realize the laugh came from Mizuki Himeji. Another member of our bunch, she is the odd man out, so to speak. Himeji is a genius as well as a total babe, though the last part doesn't matter much to me. She has long flowing pink hair that makes me think of cotton candy, and breasts that make other girls jealous. She had it made to be instantly popular, until she was mistakenly placed in our homeroom for academically challenged students freshman year. She is very shy, (it took a little while for her to warm up to us), but everyone knows she has a soft spot for Akihisa. If it weren't for him, she probably would've wound up being friends with brainy snobs like my sister.
I stop to smile at her. She nods politely back to me, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "If you're looking for Akihisa, he just left to get me a can of soda," she says.
Great, now I have to fight through everyone to get back to where I started. That boy is so whipped and they aren't even dating. I turn on my heels to head back to the kitchen.
"Hey sexy, where you going?" a voice says as I'm caught in a headlock. I'm dragged over to the couch where I'm sandwiched between two members of the baseball team.
And that brings us to the men of the hour, our resident jocks Yuji Sakamoto and Kota Tsuchiya. Yuji is a pretty cool guy, and he's as book-smart as Akihisa. The two of them were partners in crime for a long time before we met them in high school. Yuji is essentially the leader of our crew. He started out taller than all of us, (though we pretty much caught up to him now), and has a bit of a tough-guy reputation. Often, he serves as an unexpected source of wisdom, which is good. It allows him to fix almost as many problems as he can cause.
Kota, or Voyeur(1) as he is better known, is the group's morose pervert/photographer. It seems like a bad combination, and one wouldn't be wrong in thinking so. The subjects of his pictures were...not quite appropriate all the time (hence the nickname "Voyeur"). Luckily taking pictures like that was somewhat of an odd phase; now his photographs are beautiful and interesting and much more parent-friendly. He, like most of us, is generally a mediocre student…with one exception: he knows almost everything a person could know about the human body. He only ever paid attention in Health and PE explaining, "If it's about stuff that's relevant and useful to me, why shouldn't I know it?"
In the future he wants to be a physical therapist, and I think he'd be great at it. Not that I'm speaking from personal experience, of course, though I wish I were. I would severely injure myself in said future if it meant that, even if only for a few moments every week, he could put his hands on me.
In case it isn't obvious by how much I talk about him, yes I am completely gay for Voyeur. That's not to say I'm not completely gay in general, which I am. But I kind of have a thing for the blue haired boy who is leaning into my left side.
"You having fun at this party?" he asks, putting his arm around me so it rests on top of Yuji's. The stupid redhead never let go of me.
"I think I should be asking you that, Mr. Baseball," I respond with an elbow to his ribs. They just finished the last game of the varsity baseball season. Not a brilliant victory, but this year we did get closer to the finals. In any case, its another chance to party so we don't really care.
He smiles sheepishly in this lopsided way he adopted last summer when he went to visit his cousins in California. Usually it's accompanied by a hair swish but if Voyeur moves his head too much, he will probably wind up smacking me in the head. I can't say I'd mind too much. Actually I probably wouldn't mind at all…it might give him a chance to touch my head…
"So, Hideyoshi, you excited about the year finally being over?"
Oh he's been talking to me. "Yes, I guess I am. I mean, high school gets old after a while…I need to broaden my horizons."
Voyeur quirks an eyebrow at me. "Oh?"
"I need a new place in which people can confuse my gender!"
Yuji and Voyeur (who still haven't let go of my shoulders) break out into a fit of laughter. I was trying to be funny, but I was also only half kidding; people always used to think I was a girl. It's not my fault, though. I'm a twin. My sister and I are almost identical. And while being pretty and possessing 'girlish charm' (and in her, I mean that term loosely) is great, it also led to a lot of confusion. I do have a girlish figure with a tiny waist, and I am shorter than most of the other guys. I also usually keep my brown hair on the longer side, but its not like I was a cross-dresser or anything. Except for that one time. But that was also an accident.
"True. We are going to have to tell them to set up separate bathing and changing facilities again, aren't we?" Yuiji winks. Of course he had to bring that up. For a while the guys wouldn't let me change with them, convinced I was a girl. And the girls wouldn't let me change with them because they know I'm a guy. So changing was lonely.
"There must be a college somewhere with room for 'Hideyoshi's. I can't imagine you're the only woman with a penis," an emotionless voice says.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is Shoko, Yuji's girlfriend. She knew him since they were children and always had a crush on him. It sounds cute, and you may say "aww" now, but that's not the whole story. Once they entered the same high school, she insisted they were together. He fought her on it, and fought hard. But she possesses a much stronger will than he does, as well as serious martial arts skills and so, in the end it was no use. Yuji wasn't allowed to look at other girls, talk to other girls - basically have any contact with other females in general – except for Shoko. It got so extreme, he wasn't even allowed to look at me. In an attempt at self-preservation he just resigned himself to his position as her totally devoted boyfriend.
They make an odd pair, though. Yuji is this outgoing, albeit brash manly jock kind of guy. He is friendly and mischievous and active. He isn't the brightest but he tries. Shoko is just…black. She isn't goth or emo or anything like that, but I've never seen her wear color when she wasn't wearing the school uniform. Even her hair is a dark indigo that she lets hang down past her waist with bangs that fall into her similarly colored eyes. Her personality matches. She is a genius like Himeji, but she is also cold and biting and very sarcastic. On brain capacity alone, I don't understand why she wastes time on him, but at the same time I wonder why he wastes time on someone who is so generally morbid. Opposites attract?
Anyway, I take her sudden presence as an indication to get myself out of there even though I don't really want to get up and leave Voyeur. No sense in staying and letting her mock me when I did have a job…I think…
"Very funny, Shoko. I'll leave you and Yuji then." As I get up from my squished spot on the couch I swear I hear Voyeur sigh despondently, but that could be my imagination, or the fact that I now leave him in Shoko's line of fire. Oh well, he can follow me if he wishes.
He gets up to join me. I can't stop the smile from creeping onto my face even if I try.
"Eh, I didn't want to be stuck in their weird little love-fest," he offers as an explanation as he tags along on my journey back towards the kitchen, where I think I was supposed to do something. It doesn't much matter when I feel Voyeur's hand clap on my shoulder. He looks at me for a moment, like he's about to say something important, but then he turns his head a little to the left so he is looking past me. His eyes widen for a brief second and I'm almost afraid he is going to have some kind of fainting spell from post-game exhaustion or something, when I hear him say "Oh."
I turn around and its like I get stabbed in the stomach as I realize he caught sight of Aiko, the little whore. She is in Shoko's super smart class, but she is certainly not dorky by any means. Ever the tease, she wears her hair in a playful pixie cut and likes to wear some risqué clothes. It began as just harmless flirty stuff when we started high school, but once the boys started biting, (and I hope that can't be applied literally), she got worse. It's why Voyeur is now staring at her chest, which is outlined in a lacey corset style shirt.
"You wanna go talk to her?" I hear myself ask. If I weren't me, I would so punch myself right now, to put me out of my misery if not to shut me up.
"Sure," he says, not giving me a second glance. With a confident stride, he walks over to start chatting her up and I turn on my heels before I see anything to fuel the awful scenarios running through my head.
I wander back into the kitchen after passing Akihisa, realizing that my mission was futile. However, I cannot regain my perch atop the counter. Minami is still there, only now I see her girlfriend Miharu has joined her.
"If you planned on swapping spit, why did I need to find Akihisa to get you more punch?"
With a sigh, she wrenches her face away from Miharu's long enough to give me a dirty look. "You took too long. I got bored."
Miharu giggles, a hand to her mouth. "Aki came anyway, Hideyoshi."
I roll my eyes. Happy couples. At least I get this one better than I get Yuji and Shoko. Miharu liked Minami since they met, but Minami took a while to come around. Now, the two of them are virtually inseparable in a good, healthy way. Instead of a stalker-ish forced love kind of way. It gives me hope that not all love is doomed to fail.
A crash sounds from the living room and I hear a string of expletives follow. Something just got broken…
Akihisa runs into the kitchen, almost knocking me down as he makes his way to grab a mop. He is muttering something about punch, so I'm guessing the punch bowl made that lovely crunching sound. He looks at me, brown eyes wild for a moment as he barks, "Go in the cabinet and get me some paper towels, quick!"
I do as I'm asked, shooing Miharu and Minami away while Akihisa continues to run around the kitchen like a headless chicken. He prepares to catch the roll of paper towels, but upon looking up to find his cabinets empty, he misses it.
"Oh come on! GUYS, THAT WAS ALL THE FOOD I HAD!" he shouts, raising the mop over his head as he runs to the other room to clean up whatever mess was just made.
I resume my place on the counter and sigh. There goes another day. In some ways, I can't wait for summer when all this is finally over. If only there weren't so many days in between.
(1)- I used Voyeur because I feel that is the most accurate translation of his name into English.