Sorry this chapter has been so long coming – got bogged down with work. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story – they are greatly received. I am surprised by the lack of Addisam fanfic that is about – seems to be all about Charcoop at the moment. I am hoping to write a new fanfic over the holiday, so if you've got any suggestions be sure to send them my way!
Chapter Five: Being there.
Sam paced back and forth outside the police station, he knew it was something that she had to do herself; that him holding her hand wasn't going to make it any easier, but he still wanted to be by her side rather than outside, waiting for what seemed like an eternity. 'She's with Sheldon' he kept telling himself,' he's a shrink, he knows how to deal with these things, he knows what to say.' He stopped pacing and looked at the ocean, he found it always helped him to put things into perspective, to see the bigger picture, but today nothing seemed to help, today the world seemed cruel and harsh and even the bigger picture seemed uninviting.
"Sam" Sheldon's voice drew his attention back to the doors of the police station.
"Sheldon," Sam replied as he approached him "where is Addison…did she…is it over?"
"It's over" Sheldon reassured him as he walked down the steps.
Although they both knew it had only just begun, that it would be a long time before Charlotte would be able to come to terms with what had happened to her, there were difficult times ahead but for now, one difficulty was over and Sam was eager to see Addison and to offer her the comfort he had been longing to give her all morning.
"Addison is on her way, she just had a few forms to fill out and she wanted me to come out here and reassure you it all went ok," Sheldon said, as he saw Sam looking beyond him and into the police station. "I'll see you back at the practice?" Sheldon asked as he walked back towards his car.
"Sure," Sam replied, although his attention was still firmly rooted on the double doors.
Sam dug his bare toes into the warm sand as he watched the waves lapping a near-by rock, he often came to this spot to think, to be alone, to gain perspective. He'd never bought anyone else here before, never let anyone else enter his calm but she was different, she was in every part of his life, of his mind and he needed to tell her that that was ok, that she could share his space, that she could tell him anything.
"Did we do the right thing?" Addison asked as she stared into the horizon
"You…we… did the right thing" Sam said assuredly. He knew that she would be doubting herself, that she would need his assurance.
Addison let out a sigh "I hope so."
"Addison," Sam said as he turned to face her "Charlotte was attacked….."
"Raped, Charlotte was raped" Addison corrected him, letting her words penetrate the space between them.
"Charlotte was raped," Sam started again "and she is our friend but she also a victim, a patient, you had a legal obligation to report what happened to her and although she may not know it you will be helping her and all the other women he could have raped."
Addison knew he was right and deep down she knew she had done the right thing, she had made peace with herself and stood by her decision but it was her nature to doubt and second-guess herself. Sam traced small circles around her knuckle as she moved closer to him.
"Thank you," she said quietly "thank you for being there."
"You're welcome," Sam replied with a smile "and you have to know that I will always 'be there', no matter what I'll be there. No matter what it is Addison, no matter how bad, I will be there, you don't have to keep any secrets from me."
"I….you have your own opinions Sam, your own thoughts you don't have to…" Addison started.
"At work" Sam replied definitively "at work I have my own thoughts, my own opinions, medical opinions but at home, with you, I'll be there. I love you Addison and, to me, love means being on your side no matter what, it means trusting in you and believing you and being there for you – no matter what."
Addison felt Sam's words fill her mind, she had never been in a relationship with anyone as open and honest as Sam, she knew he meant what he said and she knew that, no matter how much it scared her, she had to let him 'be there'.