Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, no real humans were used to make this story and the characters featured in this piece of work do not belong to me. Also, I do not make any profit from this.

Warning: possible grammar and spelling mistakes, as well as missing letters and/or words.

There will also be detailed sex scenes and possible violence, as well as bad language and slang words. This is/will be an mpreg (male pregnancy) story, so if this offends you please do not read it and turn back now.

Thank you for your understanding.

Bold is for English.


Chapter Fifteen: For better or worse.


Heavy breathing filled the dark room; a couple of whispered curses broke the rhythmic sound, only to be accompanied by a low growl and an accidental moan. Flesh slapping against flesh, whispered words, swallowed by the darkness and the others hungry mouth.

It was just sex. Just simple, almost animalistic sex.

Kevin tried not to make too much noise. Even if they were in a hotel room, where the walls were thick and one could scream as loud as he wanted, the model didn't want to make noise. He would keep as quiet as possible, just like the times before, and not let his partner know just how bad or good he was.

"Oh come on," Jun breathed against Kevin's ear, pushing himself deeper into the blonde, "make some noise. I want to hear that sexy voice calling out to me over and over and over again." He held Kevin's hips tighter and straightened out.

Being taken from behind wasn't exactly what Kevin had wanted, but for a one-night stand and a sexual release this would be perfect. And it also wasn't like he liked to be the one on the receiving end either, but… this guy had skills. Wicked skills, if Kevin had to me more precise. Either way, the sex was good; his partner was pretty ok, now if he could shut up, that would be even more of a turn-on.

"Neee? Gimme some voice man, I feel like I'm doing a doll otherwise." Jun made sure to thrust extra hard and deep, luring out a moderately loud moan from his fellow model, "See? That's more like it."

Kevin glared at the wall in front of him. "Assface." He gripped the sheets under him tighter and groaned, uttering a few more curses right after.

"Now, now… Aren't we feisty?" Jun smacked Kevin's ass, earning something like a yelp and then leaned down again to kiss the sweaty back, leaving behind light marks that would soon disappear. "I love the feisty ones."

"Shut… up… nhh.." Kevin breathed out, not quite as demanding or scary sounding as he had wanted to sound. "Should have.. uhhg.. said no." he hissed through clenched teeth, nails digging into the mattress.

Jun sucked lightly on Kevin's skin and smirked, "Sorry babe, but no one can say no to me." He picked up his pace and tried to move so that he was hitting that one spot he knew could make even Kevin week in his knees, "No one."

"Narcissistic assbutt."


"So was it that bad?" Jun asked, all smiles and secret plans, when Kevin got out of the shower. Dark green roamed over the naked, well kept and wet body that was presented to him, taking in all the small details that he had overlooked before.

Kevin glared, knowing all too well what Jun was looking at and what he wanted, "Didn't suck as much as I'd expected it to." He grabbed a bottle of water from the mini refrigerator and opened it, "But it won't happen again."

Jun hmm-ed and then sighed, "Really now? But we have perfect chemistry between us. I'd even let you top me, if you want to." He fell back into the bed, spreading his arms wide and closing his eyes, "Best sex ever man."

The American said nothing; he just drank the cool water with big gulps, enjoying the coolness that ran through him as he drank. The sex had been pretty good, but not good enough to do it again, not with Jun, at least. He was sneaky and mysterious and a little too good at this. And Kevin didn't sleep with the same person twice, never.


It was cold and windy and snowing already. Kevin actually liked this weather - it cooled him down, cleared his mind and allowed him to just float through the streets, not caring about a thing in the world. There are few people out on the streets, partly because it was a bit too cold for comfort and partly because it was around four in the morning. Thankfully, tomorrow was a day off.

Kevin sighed for reasons unknown, looking at the puff of white, warm breath that emerged from his mouth and then quickly disappeared into the cold air. He should call Ryoma, probably, but maybe he was busy, who knew? And he didn't want to seem too much of a worry-wart. Though, towards Ryoma only, he probably was.

Just as these thoughts finally started to settle down his phone started to ring, blasting some rock song in full volume. But it didn't matter how loud the melody was, no one was around to hear it, except Kevin. He pulled out the phone from the pocket of his jeans and answered, without checking the caller ID. He was too tired for that.

"Hello?" His voice was unusually quiet. Maybe it was the cold, maybe the feeling of emptiness that came after empty sex.

"Kevin? You sure sound like crap. Another one nighter?" Ryoma seemed equally as tired, but for different reasons, obviously.

The blonde rolled his eyes. Why did his best friend had to rub it in each time this happened? "And you sound like someone who had just been dumped. Let's leave these problems aside for now, shall we?" he even managed to make a small laugh.

"Yeah, yeah." Kevin imagined Ryoma rolling his eyes now, "Keigo found me. And then I found out Kiriko's here too. Do you happen to be a part of this?" there was this edge to Ryoma's voice that Kevin couldn't quite understand.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Who knows." The model stopped at a red light, waiting for the cars to stop once again, "But seriously, I know nothing." He had gotten pretty good at lying, Kevin noted.

There was a small pause on Ryoma's end, "I don't believe you, but whatever." Another pause, "…What should I do?" he sounded a little bit desperate now.

Kevin tapped with his foot; it really was a bit too cold outside now, "Do about what?"

"You know, Keigo and Kiriko." Ryoma tched and then sighed, Kevin imagined his friend standing up and starting to pace around the apartment, "Even though I still lo-… unn… love Keigo, Kiriko feels… right. I don't know how to put it. He seems to know the same sort of pain that I went through. But…"

"So you have started to feel something towards him?" the green light was finally on for him so the blonde ran across the street quickly, wanting to get out of the biting cold faster, "I won't tell you to listen to your heart, cause that's bull. But I will tell you this – pick the one that cares and accepts."

There was a chuckle on Ryoma's end, a small whisper that didn't quite reach Kevin's ears and then Ryoma spoke, "You suck at giving advices, you know that?" a small pause again, "Keigo found out about Shuya and me."

"And he rejected you, didn't he? Expected nothing less from that asshole." Kevin stopped in front of a convenience store, the idea of going in and getting a cup of hot coffee to go popping up in his head, but he shook his head and simply started to walk again, "Do you really still love him, or are those just memories of what you felt?"

"What do you mean?" Ryoma sounded confused. His voice was quieter than before, words sharper.

"What I mean is – you just convinced yourself that you love that assbutt, but in reality you don't. Something like the placebo effect." Kevin explained. He might not look like it, be he was smarter than people thought him to be, "And actually you have the hots for Kiriko. Even though I have no idea why you would have hots for him."

There was a small hmm that came from his friend and then the man spoke up, "I wonder…. Thank you anyway. You helped, a bit." The sincerity was well masked, but still there.

"Just for you, my friend. Just for you." Kevin hung up, climbing the stairs to get to his own apartment. It was time for a hot bath and then some well deserved sleep.


"Waah, he's pretty cure, this little man." Kiriko crouched down so that he would be on the same eye level as Ryoma's son, Shuya, and ruffled the purple-ish hair, making the kid whine in annoyance. "So soft!"

Ryoma smiled weakly, putting Shuya's clothes on the bed and then taking out the juice and food from the bag. After that he placed the extra clothes in the little closet, taking the dirty ones out and throwing them on the bag without even bothering to fold them beforehand. Next he placed the food and juice into the mini-fridge and threw out the empty packages and wrappings.

"Funny little brat, haha." Kiriko laughed and lifted the three year old up. He stared at the honey-colored eyes; almost exact copy of Ryoma's, sparkling with childish joy and laughter, and spun the kid around, "Kids like this, right?"

Ryoma shook his head, "Just be careful. This is a hospital." Though, there was no anger or disapproval in his voice, just relief that Shuya seemed to like the model.

Kiriko stopped spinning Shuya, his world had started to spin just a little too much for his liking. He set the kid down on the ground, making sure that he got his balance right before letting go of him and then straightened up, sighing in content. Who would have thought that Ryoma would invite him to see the little kid so soon, barely a day later?

The Japanese model sat on the small bed, grey eyes watching every more that Ryoma made; he caught every word that came out of Ryoma's mouth as he fussed over his child. It was something like a small miracle for Kiriko - to have found someone like Ryoma; it was as if God had finally showed that even he, a child of a drunkard, deserved His love. The scars on his back maybe have stopped aching, but the nightmares that knocked on his dreams every knight never stopped. They only got worse, with no one there to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't the one that was filthy and to blame.

And Ryoma was the one who knew how it felt, how much it hurt. And he understood. Even if the American model didn't know about the origin of his scars and nightmares. Even in he didn't know about the darkness inside of Kiriko.

So every moment that he spent with Ryoma was calming, soothing even. Though, it might not be like that for Ryoma, since his scars were essentially different than his own. They ran deeper, scarred his heart and soul, never really healing.

"Kiriko, are you ok?" Ryoma's voice sounded weak to him, almost a whisper against his ear. "You look pale."

The Japanese model blinked a couple of times, the blur that had settled before his eyes was slowly starting to crawl away, leaving behind dizziness and a bad taste in Kiriko's mouth. He took a few deep breaths and then waved his hand, "I'm ok, I'm ok. Just a little dizzy, that's all."

"You sure? Just dizziness?" Ryoma touched Kiriko's forehead and sighed.

"Sorry. I didn't sleep too well, nothing more. Bad dreams often come to me at night, nothing new there." The black-haired man smiled a little and then stood up, "Maybe I should run around with your kid - fun for him, exercise for me."

Ryoma smiled a little, even letting out a small laugh and shook his head. "Brats. Don't overdo it, you don't look to well."


Keigo hit his head lightly against the white wall just outside Shuya's room. He hears the soft laughter of the three year old, mixed with Ryoma's voice and wishes that for a moment he could go deaf and not hear a thing, not hear Ryoma's voice as it softens when he speaks with his child and Kiriko, not hear his quiet laugh that Keigo had dreamed of hearing for so long… He wished he could go deaf, even just for a minute or two. It would be so much better then – less painful.

He knew that he was to blame for all of this; he knew it all too well. And yet… and yet, just like any human being, he didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to face the fact, he didn't want to say goodbye to Ryoma just yet, not when he had finally understood the weight of what he had done, understood just how precious was what he had lost. He had only just understood the love that he felt.

And it was to end here, it seemed.

"Ok, ok. Go and torture Kiriko for a bit, I will go in a second." The way Ryoma spoke it was obvious that what he felt right now could be called happiness.

Keigo quickly pushed himself away from the wall and walked inside the room that was in front of Shuya's, closing the door slightly behind himself, only so that he would be hidden from view, but he could still hear what was going on outside.

Moments later the pitter-patter of small feet dashed past and down the hall, followed by slow footsteps of Kiriko, or so the purple-haired businessman presumed. He waited in the empty room for a while longer, just to make sure that no one that could recognize him was left in the hallway. He walked out of the room, glanced where the two had gone and then allowed his eyes to travel to Shuya's room, quiet shuffle of clothes came from it.

He glanced inside, careful to not be seen by Ryoma. Keigo's eyes widened, hand gripped the doors tightly and then he had to force himself not to let out that choke or whine or whatever it was that threatened to break out of him. Ryoma was folding Shuya's dirty clothes, carefully placing them inside his bag and smiling to himself. It was the same smile that was the reason why he had fallen in love with Ryoma those years ago. It was the smile of an innocent, young man, just barely in the middle of his teens, that was void of pain and regret and loneliness.

But that smile could no longer be directed towards him and he could no longer be a part of Ryoma's world. It was just like Kiriko had pointed out yesterday – he was worthless, he was nothing. He was a fool and should no longer chase what was out of his grasp.

Without saying a word Keigo turned away and left, leaving behind his hopes of getting something that he didn't deserve and finally allowing Ryoma to move forward.

It was for the best like this.

For the sake of both of them, for the sake of those that hoped and dreamed still.


A/N: Truthfully, I have lost all track of what I wanted for this story to become. This chapter was supposed to come out entirely different from what it is now, a bit happier ending - a different ending entirely, actually. But… Was is the music that I was listening to? My mood? I don't know. But the new chapter turned out like this and I no longer know what exactly will become of this story.

I also think that I am nearing the end. There was never a solid number of chapters meant for it, so the fact that I feel like I am nearing the end… It means something. I have the ending sort of planned out, actually, now that I've re-made the whole plot in my head, I am certain that It will not be as solid and maybe even convincing, but it is the ending that I want.

I wasn't going to post anything this month anymore, but somehow this just happened. So yeah, I hope that you will stick with me until the bitter end. I will also paste the announcement I had put on my profile and at the latest chapter of 'I cry for the last time', in case someone had missed it.

That's all guys. Have a good day, you are all awesome. Never forget that.

Ayingott out.


So, I have decided to no longer do any long term multi-chapter fics. Do no worry, I plan to finish what I have started, but I will not make new ones. The 'Future Ideas' will stay on my profile, in case someone wants to use them, or I will, in time, start to write long-term again. But, what I want to say is - this is stressing me out. The expectations from you and the plot that I have to keep moving, it's hard on me. I hope to slowly become a one-shot only author.

As for the two OT6 stories that I have. Sadly, I... I both love and hate them. Therefore, they will be updated very slowly. And let's face it - they (or none of my works) are really that popular (that was also one of the reasons why I don't want to do long-term stories anymore).

Thank you to those that actually care about me and read this. If you want to - feel free to write me, i don't bite.