I do not own Negima or any of the characters, I do not make any money from this, etc.

There had always been too much magic. Magia Erebea had turned Negi into a fountain of energy; energy that threatened to rip him apart at the seams. It was only through the gentle touches of his students that the power had been contained.

But as he grew, so did the dark forces within him. Before long, even the Pactios of all of Ala Alba were insufficient to seal the flow of the black magic. The boy had only one option: a permanent contract. And then another. And another. Soon almost all of his probationary contracts had been finalized. At last, the power was under control, once and for all. But little did he expect that the consummation of all the contracts would have unforeseen consequences...


Negi sped along in the dark, riding his staff through the night. Normally he wouldn't risk being seen, but this was something of an emergency. Besides, nobody was around here at three in the morning, and even if he was seen, no one would believe them anyway.

He rounded the corner, and the convenience store came into view. At the end of the block, he hopped off the staff and stashed it behind some bushes. As he approached the store, he could vaguely see Sayo hanging in the air, waving at him. She was getting better at becoming corporeal without the aid of Eva's voodoo doll. He waved back.

"Good evening, sensei!" She giggled. "Second food run tonight, huh? Who sent you this time, Yue or Nodoka?"

"Uh..." His face flushed slightly as he scratched his head. "Acutally...it's...uh...Chisame..."

"Oh." She smirked, obviously trying to hold back laughter. "I guess it was only a matter of time, what with the way you-"

"I know, I know." He brushed past her. "Just please keep an eye on my staff. It's been a long day..." He sighed.

"It's okay, I understand." She tried to strike a spooky pose. "I'll scare off anyone who tries to mess with it."

"Thanks, you've been a lifesaver." The door made a ringing sound as he passed through it.

He made a beeline for the refrigerated section. Chisame's voice still echoed in his ears. "I need ice cream! NOW!" He shuttered at the thought of going back. At least the library girls tried to keep their calm about the situation, even if hormones sometimes got the better of them. They were excited at the prospect, if understandably nervous. At least they still smiled at Negi whenever they were with him.

But not Chisame. Negi firmly believed that deep down in her subconscious somewhere, she cherished the idea. But Chisame being Chisame, it would take a lot to get those feelings to the surface. Until that happened, life would be hellish. But afterward...he smiled slightly before the fatigue set back in. Life would still be chaotic, but a good kind of chaotic.

Negi perused the section until he found what Chisame had demanded: Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. It was odd that a convenience store would carry the product, but it was technically on Mahora's campus, and everything about Mahora was a bit over the top. Either way, Negi was just glad to have it nearby. Without it he would have had to take the train into the shopping district, and he didn't have time for that.

What else was there? He scanned the shelves, knowing that Chisame had wanted something to go with the ice cream. "Oh, right." He grabbed a jar of pickles on his way back to the counter. He yawned as he laid his purchases on the counter.

"That it?" The clerk was suitably apathetic.

"Uh..." Negi glanced at the shelves near the counter. He came all this way so me might as well get himself something. Maybe a Snickers bar. His gaze was hooked by a brightly colored box. That might be a good idea. I don't want to have to deal with any more of this stress. He tossed the box of condoms onto the counter along with the candy bar.

"That's everything."


This story was basically written in response to a brief Crack Fic that Overmaster (who has an account here; go read his stuff, it's all good) posted as a joke on the TvTropes forum, concerning how Negi had to drain his excess magical energy with the help of his students, if you know what I mean. :p

So naturally, I felt compelled to write what I thought would actually end up happening in that situation. Hopefully it's not in bad taste. I mean, as a "proper British gentleman" Negi would obviously take responsibility for what happened.

I currently have no plans to followup on this idea, although if enough people find it interesting I might get around to it.

Please review; I would love to know what everybody thinks of it.