DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or the characters, I just play with them.
Dear Bella, my little Bells:
I know it may seem coward, foolish and weak for me to write you this letter, but trust me when I tell you I'm doing it for your own benefit.
I'm doing it for you my sweet girl.
To give you the opportunity to make your own decision; to give you a choice.
Because of my wrongdoings your life was turn upside down and believe me when I say; the last thing I want is to disrupt your life, again.
So it's up to you if you want to just throw this letter and never read it, or if you want to know what is inside but don't care about it and want to just put it in the garbage bin. But if there is a small, tiny part of you that wants to see me again, even if just to curse the day I was chosen to be your father, trust me when I say I will stand in front of you and let you do and say whatever you need. And if you need for me to tell you all that is here all over again I would. Is the least I could do, the very least.
I should ask you for forgiveness but it's not fair to ask that of you at all, less in a letter.
I was the worst father, I know that, I knew it back then and even though I tried it was just not enough, I wasn't strong enough.
I'm sorry I couldn't cope with your mom leaving us. I'm sorry my duty as a father wasn't enough to go out every day and work hard. There is no excuse for it. I was a poor excuse of a father, I know that. But never, never doubt the love I had for you Bells. You were the only thing that kept me going, you were the only thing that gave light to my life. You were, and still are the person I love the most; even if I didn't show it at the right time. Even if I didn't show it the right way.
I was in and out of rehab during most of your childhood after you mom left. You never noticed since it just didn't seem to really work and I didn't want to tell you and let you down even more. I tried, I really did. At least that's what I told myself back then, but it was a weak attempt and I failed over and over again.
But when they took you away from me, when they told me I was going to lose you for good I just knew I had to change, if not for me, for you; and this time it had to work, I couldn't fail. So I did. With the assistance of Bob, one of my ex co-workers I got into a program, he loaned me the money and trusted me to do the right thing for once. The lady at social services told me if I was able to successfully complete it I would have a shot at getting you back. She promised to help me get you back if I truly changed my life around. So I had to decided if I was going to take that step or not.
I was inside for three months and once I was out I realized things wouldn't be easy at all. When the neighbour told me you had been back at the house and she had called CPS I didn't know if I should thank her or yell at her for giving you back to them, still I knew she did the right thing.
Because of that they wouldn't give me any information of your whereabouts, not even a general idea of where they had you staying at. They said you were a 'runner' and with my past they couldn't risk me going and taking you away illegally or some mumbo jumbo. I had zero information.
I waited a long time, way longer than I thought it would take but when I was finally able to get your information and got permission for a first visit with you everything came crashing back down. They told me you had run away from the foster home you were at; you and another kid that was staying there with you.
Not a week later I was informed the foster parents had been charged for child abuse and put in jail for a very long time. A little girl that remained in their care told everything to her social worker and they were quickly apprehended and convicted.
Child abuse. Sexual abuse.
Is that what made you run away from there? Did that guy did something to you my love? I know is stupid to ask, and I live with the guilt every single day. Knowing most probably you were hurt deeply. Where you my Bells?
Because if he did hurt you believe me I would go to jail and kill him myself; if he wasn't dead already that is. Seems child abusers don't last long in jail and I'm glad for it. The woman was put in a mental facility or something like that. That woman is totally lost in her own crazy world now. At least that's what they told me.
I spent years looking for you but there was just not much information, honestly there was just a bunch of nothing. But I never gave up. Believe me sweetheart, I never did.
It was a total fluke Jerry, one of my friends at AA happened to meet your husband and you at an expo. I can't believe he recognized you; after all the picture I always carry with me is from where you were about 10. But he did and with what little you interacted with him he was able to put two and two together. I guess the fact that you were born in Forks tipped him off. When you didn't notice he took a picture of you and sent it to me and I knew it was you. I could recognize your beautiful face anywhere my girl.
It took everything in me not flight to Portland that day and see you myself. Instead I made him promise to get your contact information, and that's how I got this address. From your husband's tattoo shop? Are you married now? He said you are Isabella Cullen now. And from what I hear you have a little girl? A beautiful little girl?
He told me you seemed, happy. That the man that is now your husband treats you with love and respect and that he only has eyes for you and your daughter. That you were all smiles and seemed to be in high spirits.
So the last thing I want to do is to cloud that happiness, and if you have come to terms with what has happened, if you want nothing to do with me I will totally respect that.
But if there is hope, if just a little bit of hope that you may want to contact me, please know I'll be waiting, from this day till the last of my days.
I love you Bells. With all my heart,
A/N.- Surprise! Even though this isn't a regular chapter IT IS part of the story. Many of you were wondering about Charlie, what had happened to him and if Bella was going to ever look for him or him for her. Well I truly hope this little letter was able to answer some of your questions. I could have dragged it out and make Charlie look for Bella, confront her and tell her himself. But on this one I agree with him, Bella has to make the decision if she wants to meet him or not. He gave her the truth, now is her choice if she wants to approach him or not.
So what should Bella do now? I know what she will do but its always fun to have your input!
I think we just have an epilogue left and that's that! Can't believe it!
I just want to clarify the fact that I DO NOT write from my iPhone lol What I meant is that being a mommy 24/7 most of my interaction with the cyber-world is via my iPhone, I do all my reading, tweeting, facebooking from there. So finding time to actually open my laptop and write is sometimes hard. My little one is one picky boy and he doesn't like to see mom typing away in her computer hahahaha, and believe me when he falls asleep I'm not far behind! That's one of the reasons updating has been hard. I just have little time to actual type the chapters. No way could I do that from my iPhone! I'm not that awesome LOL ;)
Lots of hugs! Thanks for sticking around.
Love you my lovelies!