When you live as long as an Asari, you've got lots of stories to tell. And as Queen of Omega I've got some crazy ones. Stories about epic showdowns between krogan and commandoes, stories about crazed organ steeling salarians, stories about reach and flexibility. But this is the craziest story of them all. This is the story of one turian who thought he could bring justice to a satellite without any. This is the story of Arch Angel!


Commander Shepard sat cross-legged on his bed with a model of the SSV-Normandy in one hand and a model of the Reaper Sovereign in the other. "Hahaha! You have fallen straight into my trap!" Shepard wiggled the Sovereign model while trying to mimic the Reaper's voice. "Oh no! It's a black hole!" The Commander yelled in an eerily accurate impression of Yeoman Chambers' voice. "Now you have teleported to Reaper Land and be assimilated, resistance is futile." Then Shepard raised his right foot, which had a second SSV-Normandy model clutched in it. "But I created a second Normandy and made clones of all the people on it and put them on the second one, SO I HAVE POWER!" Shepard smashed the three ships together while making "pew-pew" noises. So caught up he was in this epic battle he failed to notice Garrus enter.

"Um, Shepard… What are you doing?" Garrus asked while his mandibles twitched. Shepard ceased his "battle" and let the models fall the floor.

"I was… uh… strategizing. Yeah. Strategizing for the final reaper battle." The Commander nodded happily with his decision.

"Shepard I'm afraid even with The Illusive Man's funding we lack the resources to build a second Normandy and staff it with clones of the original's crew." EDI chimed in. Shepard decided the best course of action was to ignore EDI and hope that she would go do other… robot things, somewhere else.

"So what did you want to see me about Garrus?" The turian placed his hands behind his back and took a deep breath.

"I got a call from an, old friend, back on Omega. I have to go and help." Shepard got off his bed and placed the ship models back on their shelf.

"I'll tell Joker to set a course for Omega and we'll-" Garrus raised his hand to interrupt Shepard.

"No Shepard, this is something I've got to do on my own. I guess you might call it unfinished business." The Commander nodded in understanding.

"Joker, set a course for Omega so we can drop Garrus off-" Before he could finish Grunt rushed into the room. The tank-born krogan was for some reason wearing red spandex over his armor and had a red cape on his back.

"I want to come! I want to come! Battlemaster please let me come on the mission!" Grunt pleaded in a rather un-kroganlike manner.

"How did you even know what we were talking about?" Shepard asked.

"Zaeed has a camera feed of your room at all times." Grunt answered nonchalantly and went back to pleading.

"Why does Zaeed… on second thought, I don't want to know." Shepard shook his head and decided he'd have to deal with that breach of security another day. "Why do you want to go with Garrus so bad?"

"I was reading about these things called "comic books" that are about super powerful people who fight the most powerful enemies in the world. I heard Garrus used to be one called Arch Angel and I want to come with him and be his sidekick." Grunt explained.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I work alone." Garrus replied he then scowled and added. "Especially after you replace my scar medicine with ryncol."

"I was just a joke!"

"I suffered third degree burns!"

"Garrus, don't you think it might be a good idea to have some backup?" Shepard suggested, mainly in hopes they would stop arguing and he could finish his epic showdown between Sovereign and the two Normandys. Garrus' mandibles twitched as he ruminated on the suggestion for a few moments.

"I guess that makes sense. Alright you can come with me Grunt." The krogan in question let out a massive roar/cheer at the news. "But you have to do what I say."

"Don't worry Arch Angel. I already have a super hero name and everything. I am: Grunt, Krogan Wonder!" Grunt struck a heroic pose.


Once the Normandy had arrived at Omega Shepard and several other members of the crew had gathered to see Garrus and Grunt off.

"We won't be gone for more than a few weeks at most. In the meantime, make sure you keep the weapons calibrated." Garrus grabbed the few belongings he had brought with him, mainly weapons and prepared to depart. Grunt was happily humming what he claimed was their "theme song" and waited for the airlock to open.

"Be careful out there Garrus." Shepard shook the turian's hand before emotion overcame. "Oh, man hug!" And he embraced Garrus.

"I think they brought you back stronger." Garrus chocked out. The door to Omega opened and Garrus and Grunt waved their goodbyes. The pair stepped into the seedy space station that would be the site of their most epic adventure ever.


While it's rather easy to guess, the story is being narrated by Aria to someone, I'm not sure who yet or if that will even have any relevance. Anyways this story is sort of an attempt to get me back in the fanfiction writing mood. And I'm going to try and stick to self imposed update schedule.

On another note, this story probably won't be too long so the time has come to think about my next one. I have lost contact with AnimusFerrus so the super secret collaboration probably won't be it. I have a few ideas and I want YOU the viewers to tell me which one you want:

The Underfist Trilogy (Not a Mass Effect story)
Maxwell Atoms stated that he was originally tasked by Cartoon Network to make a trilogy of movies about "Underfist" an A-Team meets HP Lovecraft band of heroes who fight monsters and dinosaurs and aliens. However the deal fell through and only the first movie was made. I love the made one and plan on possibly making fanfictions of the original second and third movies based off notes on them Atoms' has shown in his blog. The trilogy would be

Underfist (Already made by Maxwell Atoms and thus not needed as a fanfiction)
Underfist versus the Dinosaurs
Underfist Against the Astro-Vampires

Currently Untitled
Quarians weren't the only races that had a problem with AIs. Before they discovered the Mass Relay on Charon, humans had accidentally given Wikipedia too much data and it became sentient. After a long and bloody period of history known as the "Wiki Wars" the Wikipedia AI was sealed on a USB drive and shot into space. Well remember that horrible secret Kasumi's partner found out about? It was the location of the Wiki USB which could know fall into the wrong hands and destroy all life in the galaxy! This story would be set after An Unfortunate Mix Up and feature Rael doing cute baby things.

Also Currently Untitled
My take on the "Huge Party After the Suicide Mission" things go horribly wrong at the crew's celebration on the Citadel. Grunt becomes a stripper, Mordin discovers coffee, and Shepard and Tali discover how useful the Normandy airlock's decontamination feature can be to name a few things.

Which one shall it be? And also stay tuned for chapter two of: The Arch-Knight Returns!