1/3


"It's a pity, really."

Jane glanced at her wife out of the corner of her eye. "What's a pity?"

"Janet Leigh could have lived if Anthony Perkins had been seeing a professional for his mother issues."

Jane rolled her eyes and hit pause on the DVD player. "Maura, first of all, it's Marion Crane and Norman Bates. And second, it's a horror movie. If Bates had seen a shrink the movie would be over."

"But it doesn't make sense! Why would nobody notice that…"

Jane pressed her fingers to Maura's lips. "Honey, it's a movie. Just go with it."

"But…"

Before another word could leave Maura's lips, Jane was kissing her, long and hard, pulling the ME onto her body. Maura moaned and pressed her body tighter against Jane's.

"This is so much better than a movie," Jane murmured, her hands running up the back of Maura's shirt.

"I agree completely," Maura replied, her fingers trailing across Jane's abdomen while she kissed her once more.

"Mommy? Mama?"

Maura's head jerked up and looked over the couch at Sofia, who was standing there in her pink nightgown, looking very concerned.

"Sofie, sweetheart, what is it?" Jane extricated herself from underneath Maura and went over to the little girl. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Sofia shook her head. "No. I changed my mind about my Halloween costume."

Jane blinked. "Your Halloween costume?"

Sofia nodded.

Maura got up also and walked over to her wife and daughter. "You don't want to be a butterfly anymore?"

"No. I want to be either Belle from Beauty and the Beast or Marie Curie."

Jane threw a look at Maura, who ignored her and focused on Sofia.

"Those are excellent choices, Sofia."

Jane picked the little girl up in her arms and kissed her forehead. "Great picks. But how about I take you back to bed, so you can use your sleeping time to choose the right one."

"Because sleeping time is good thinking time?"

"That's right. Say night to Mama."

Sofia reached out and kissed Maura and gave her a hug, before Jane took her back to her bed. After settling her once more, Jane checked on Max, who had managed to fall asleep wrong way around in the bed. She shook her head in amusement and went back to find Maura in the den.

"Maura."

Maura looked up from where she was reading a magazine. "What?"

"We're making our kids weird."

"Why do you say that?"

"Marie Curie, Maura? Really?"

"Marie Curie was a pioneer in her chosen field of…"

Jane put her hands up. "I know who she is. But don't you find it a little weird that our six-year-old talks like a forty-year-old and wants to be Marie Curie for Halloween?"

Maura smiled sweetly. "I think she's going to be cute."

"Maura!"

"Jane, I don't know why you're so surprised by this. We have well-educated children." Maura reached out, taking Jane's hands and tugging her onto the couch. "And they have an extremely sexy mother, as well."

Jane tried to stem the arousal flowing through her body as Maura caressed her hands. "Actually, they have two. But that's not the point…"

Maura moved closer to Jane on the couch, her hand reaching out and cupping Jane's left breast. "It's not?"

Jane moaned as Maura's lips kissed her neck and her fingers tightened around her nipple. "Maura…you're trying to distract me."

Maura's fingers moved downwards to play with the hem of Jane's shirt. "Is it working?"

"God yes," Jane replied, urging Maura upwards so that they could kiss deeply. "We'll discuss this tomorrow, but right now…" She stood up, pulling Maura with her, "right now, I have to have you.


When Jane woke up the next morning, she smiled as she saw Maura curled up, hair in disarray and lips swollen and bruised. She had definitely given her wife a workout the previous night. Jane carefully disentangled herself and threw on her sweats and a Boston PD t-shirt, before heading out to the den, where she found Max and Sofia engrossed in cartoons.

"Morning guys. What are we watching?"

"Come look, Mommy. The Muppets. Animal has hair like yours in the morning." Max giggled.

Jane ruffled his hair. "Oh yeah? Kinda looks like yours now, doesn't it?"

"Is Mama still asleep?" Sofia asked, tugging Jane around to sit between her and her brother.

"Yep. And we need to let her sleep in. She had a late night last night."

Max blinked. "Doing what?"

Jane tried not to blush. "Uh…watching movies."

"What movies? Can we watch?"

"Absolutely not," Jane replied. "They are not movies for little kids."

Sofia gave her a side-eye. "Was it porn?"

"What?" Jane almost screeched. "Where the heck did you guys learn about that?"

"We found a DVD in Uncle Frankie's old room. You should have heard Grandma yell!" Max giggled.

"Oh my god," Jane put her head in his hands. "I'll kill him."

"Kill who?"

Jane looked up in shock as Maura stood over them, her eyebrow raised. "Ah…"

"Hi, Mama," Sofia said, kneeling on the couch and reaching up to kiss Maura. "We just told Mommy about finding porn in Uncle Frankie's old room. Grandma yelled. What's porn, Mama?"

Maura was momentarily put off-balance. It was far too early for this sort of discussion. "Jane…how did our children find porn in your brother's bedroom?"

Jane glanced at the twins. "That's a good question."

"We were looking in Uncle Frankie's room," Max supplied. "And we found the DVD under his mattress."

"I really don't want to know what you two were doing looking under his mattress," Jane muttered.

"Investigating. Like you do Mommy," Sofa grinned.

Jane looked up at Maura. "Remember what I said last night about making our kids weird?"

"Shh," Maura said, frowning. "Don't say that in front of them."

"We're geniuses, not weird," Max replied.

"I'm hungry," Sofia said.

"Mommy and I will go make breakfast," Maura said, giving Jane a stern look.

The detective sighed and followed Maura into the kitchen. "Look, I didn't know Frankie had porn in his room and I would have been so happy to not know about that for the rest of my life."

Maura put a finger to Jane's lips and then kissed her tenderly. "Good morning."

Jane relaxed and kissed her wife again. "Good morning."

"And stop worrying about the twins," Maura smiled, squeezing Jane's hand. "I'm a genius, and I turned out alright, didn't I?"

Jane smiled back, pulling Maura's body tight against her own. "You turned out perfect."

"See then? With us as their parents, where can Max and Sofia go wrong?"

Jane kissed her again. "I love you. And I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I don't either. Good thing we're not going to find out." Maura moved away and got out the ingredients for pancakes. "Do you think we need to explain to the twins what porn is?"

"Let's distract them with Halloween instead," Jane said. "Giving them the sex talk was hard enough."

"I think that was because you tried to explain sex with baseball and Barbie dolls."

"And letting them look at Gray's Anatomy was such a better option?"

Maura lifted an eyebrow. "I used my knowledge quite well the day after, didn't I?"

Jane smiled broadly. "Oh yeah, I should write to Dr Gray and tell him I appreciate his work."

Maura blinked. "He's dead, Jane. And he actually wasn't a doctor. He was an anatomist and his work…"

Max and Sofia appeared in the kitchen.

"Is Mama being Google again?" Sofia asked.

"Yes, and…" Jane grabbed Max's hand. "We do not eat pancake batter. Otherwise there will be nothing left to cook."

Maura put the pan on the burner. "Have you two decided what you want to be for Halloween?"

Jane poured some of the batter into the pan, then ran her free hand down Maura's back. Maura glanced at her and Jane just smirked.

"I want to be the Incredible Hulk," Max said. "Then I can stomp around and take over the world."

"And I'm going to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast," Sofia said.

Jane tried not to snicker at the almost disappointed look on Maura's face. "No Marie Curie, Sof?"

"No. She died of cancer. I don't think I'd like that."

This time Jane couldn't help it, and she chuckled. Maura threw her a disapproving look. Jane sobered instantly. "I'll get the plates."


"If you won't let me look at your costume before Halloween, why did you drag me along to your fitting?" Jane asked, her fingers tapping on the armchair in the dress shop.

"Because I like spending time with you." Maura's head peeked around the dressing room door. "The twins are with your parents today…"

"Hopefully not discovering more of Frankie's porn stash," Jane finished.

"That is true. Anyway, I thought we could spend some time together." Maura closed the door again, but a moment later, she was peeking out again. "Jane?"

"Mhm?"

"Did you have a secret porn stash?"

Jane looked around the dressing room, glad that they were alone. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondered." Maura disappeared behind the door again.

Jane stood up and walked over, peering over the top of the dressing room. "Just wondered?"

"Jane! You're not supposed to be peeking!"

The detective lifted an eyebrow. "It's not like I haven't seen it before. In fact, I remember you and I and a dressing room a few years ago…"

Maura blushed. "That is not the point. I don't want you to see me in my costume."

"You're not in your costume. In fact," Jane murmured, trying to reach a part of Maura's skin to touch, "you're not in anything."

"That's because the seamstress is taking up the hem a little."

"I could come in there and keep you warm."

"Jane! What would the seamstress say?"

"Don't care."

"Jane."

Jane groaned. "Fine. But if you promise to hurry up, I promise to tell you about my secret porn stash."

Maura's eyes lit up. "I promise."


Maura's body fell onto the bed, her chest heaving as she fought to take in gulps of air. Jane collapsed beside her, trembling as the aftershocks of her orgasm ran through her.

Maura managed to turn her body so that she was facing Jane, who was still face-first in the pillows. Maura reached out and took her wife's hand, squeezing it tightly. Jane turned to look at her, her eyes still unfocused and dark with pleasure.

"You okay?" Maura whispered.

"Yeah," came the soft reply. "You?"

Maura nodded. "Who knew that the thought of you in your room with your own private stash of porn would arouse me so much?"

Jane chuckled. "Who indeed?"

Maura snuggled closer to Jane. "I love you."

"I love you too." Jane put her arm around her wife. "God, what you do to me."

Maura kissed her softly. "What we do to each other."

"You know, I'm really glad you're not working Halloween night," Jane said a few minutes later. "I mean, apart from taking the twins trick-or-treating, and going to the party. Strange things happen in morgues on Halloween night."

Maura looked up at her. "What are you talking about?"

"The dead rising in autopsy."

"Did you hit your head during your orgasm?"

Jane laughed, the kind of full, husky laugh that never failed to turn Maura on. This time was no exception.

"Maura, it was a joke."

"Are you sure? Because it is a physical impossibility for a deceased person to…"

Maura's words were cut off by Jane's lips on hers, kissing her deeply. The brunette pushed Maura onto her back, moving above her so that their bodies were pressed together.

"Jane?" Maura whispered, as the kiss finally broke.

Jane grinned. "You turn me on when you talk Google. Ready for round two?"

Maura's eyes lit up. "Always."


Jane fit the giant green hands onto her son, who was admiring his half-finished costume.

"I'm going to be the best Incredible Hulk ever!"

"Well of course you are," Jane replied. "As if your mommies would have you go out as a bad Incredible Hulk."

"What are you going to be Mommy?"

"It's a surprise." Jane sat back and examined her son. "You look great."

Max put his green hands together and let out a roar. "Did I scare you?"

"Constantly." Jane smiled. "Go scare your mama."

Max grinned and ran off, in search for Maura. Jane leant back against the couch and waited.

"JANE!"

Jane tried to muffle her laughter, looking up innocently as Maura appeared, a bathrobe around her body. "Yes?" she finally managed to get out.

"You are an evil, evil woman. Max came and gave me the shock of my life while I was in the shower!"

Jane finally couldn't help it and burst into laughter. Maura narrowed her eyes and Jane tried to stop.

Sofia and Max ran in, hearing the laughter.

"I scared Mama really good!" Max said proudly.

After catching Maura's look, Jane stifled her laughing. "Yeah, yeah you did. But now you should probably say sorry. It's not polite to scare people before Halloween like that."

"I'm sorry, Mama." Max was contrite, putting on a pout that Maura was positive he learned from Jane.

"It's okay, Max. Just next time perhaps don't scare me in the shower," Maura replied, kissing him on the cheek.

As the twins ran off again, Jane sent a sly look at Maura.

"What were you doing in the shower, Maura?" Jane's fingers tugged on the tie to the bathrobe. "And more importantly, why wasn't I in there doing it with you?"

Maura moved a step closer, shivering as Jane's fingers disappeared beneath the robe. "You'll never know now, will you?"

Jane tugged Maura until the blonde fell onto Jane's body.

"Jane!"

"Shh," Jane murmured. "I like it when you're all slippery and wet."

Maura moaned as their lips met in a deep kiss. "Jane…"

Jane's fingers trailed down Maura's slick body to press against her center. Maura bucked her hips, before pulling away from Jane with an unsatisfied groan.

"We can't. The kids could come in any minute. Do we really want to educate them on porn with us in the living room?"

Jane thought about that for a moment. "Good point." She kissed Maura deeply. "Later."

"Later we'll be in our costumes."

Jane grinned broadly. "I know."

TBC