I ask that you please read my Author's Note before you read my fic.
A/N: Here is Chapter Two. I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. It may not seem like it, but this was a rather difficult chapter to write. Thank you for being so patient with me. This project is a lot bigger than anything else I've written before, and I still get over-whelmed thinking about it sometimes.
Now, I would like to address my portrayal of Meilin in this chapter before I get a lot of reviews about it. I tried the best I possibly could to combine Meilin's attitude in the manga/anime with the attitude that someone living in 19th Century England would actually hold. I'm sorry if I ruined how you think she would act in this situation, but I am trying to stay true to history as well as Kuroshitsuji.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji. I am merely a fan and do not make any profit from writing this.
Convicted – Chapter Two
The afternoon sun shone through the large window of Ciel's office, illuminating the paperwork that had been forgotten due to a splitting headache. He rubbed his temple with his thumb and middle finger, hoping in vain that said motion would somehow ease the pain. With a defeated sigh, he put his head down against the cool wood of his desk.
A twisting feeling in his stomach soon accompanied his throbbing head. Ciel moaned in irritation. He knew full well that the stress was starting to physically effect him, but was far too proud to admit it out loud.
"Why am I like this?" He whispered to himself. "Why can't I stop?"
He was referring, of course, to his "relationship"—if one could call it that—with Sebastian. The earl had long given up trying to rid himself of his attraction to men, but it made it no easier on him. Ciel was putting everything at risk; and for what? Sex?
"I wish you would stop torturing yourself over this," Said a deep voice. Ciel lifted his head from the desk and met eyes with his butler. "How many times must I tell you? You live—"
"In an ignorant society," Ciel finished for him. "I know." Sebastian cocked an eyebrow and nodded. As a silence filled the room, the demon turned around and began to prepare his master's afternoon tea, as was his original reason for entering the room. As he extended his arm to serve his master his drink, he met Ciel's eyes.
"Then why are you still afraid?" He asked. "Why does fear leave you writhing and sick every morning after?" The earl had been about to grab the saucer and cup, but at his butler's words, his hand started to shake.
"S-sebastian," Ciel whispered. The demon smirked at the trembling boy.
"Don't tell me you expect to be struck down by some divine being all your country's churches preach about," He taunted. The boy's head snapped up and he rolled his eyes at his butler's sarcasm.
Ciel Phantomhive was not a religious individual. Quite the opposite, as he had a demon for a butler. By merely walking down the street with such a being was like spitting in the face of his god-fearing country with each step he took.
In fact, when looking back, Ciel wondered if his parents had ever truly bought into any of it either. They attended church services like almost everyone else in England, but that most certainly had been to uphold appearances. The Phantomhive family bore the name of "The Queen's Guard Dog," and associated itself with the Underground. The thought was almost laughable that they could sing hymns in the morning, yet dirty their hands with England's scum in the afternoon.
No, Ciel was not religious, and held no fear towards the so-called "Christian God." He had seen enough Shinigami running around to know that the Bible was definitely lacking in content. And who was it that had pulled him out of the depths of his pathetic despair? Not God, not an angel—a demon. Oh, the irony.
"No," Ciel muttered. "That's not it."
"Then if not the divine, what do you fear?" The earl was growing frustrated at Sebastian's persistence and slammed his fist down on the desk.
"If I am found out—or even suspected of such acts—everything I've worked for—everything we've worked for will vanish." Ciel ripped the eye patch from his face and motioned for Sebastian to remove his glove. The demon did as instructed and the two sat in a moment of silence, starring at their shared marks. "If I am discovered, our contract will fail," Ciel whispered. "Because I would no longer have the right to bear the name of Phantomhive or be a nobleman. I would be sent into servitude or prison. The ones I'm searching for would be forever out of my reach."
"I would never allow that to happen," Sebastian said with a sigh. "My first priority is your life."
"Well then, if I was discovered but you snatched me away from my punishment, we would be fugitives. And those I'm searching for would still be out of reach," Ciel snapped. "I do my best to believe you when you tell me these feelings I have are nothing unusual. I trust you when you say I live in a society ignorantly and needlessly cruel to people like me; but whether you like it or not, Sebastian, my ignorant society's laws hold a huge influence over our contract."
Sebastian narrowed his eyes. His young master certainly had spent long hours thinking over the scenario of being discovered. The demon knew that situation would be problematic, but he had never considered that it would effect their contract like his master had. Who did this boy think Sebastian was? Certainly, it would be a large setback, but was Ciel implying that if such a thing did happen, Sebastian couldn't find a way to fulfill their contract? The demon butler knelt down and bowed low to the boy before him.
"Earl, servant, prisoner, or fugitive, I will be at at your side, Young Master, until the day lies become truth. No laws will nullify our contract, no matter how steep the setback." Ciel's jaw was clenched from surprise. He starred wide-eyed at his butler, the words spoken slowly sinking in to his exhausted brain. Finally, he smirked and motioned for Sebastian to stand up.
"I'll hold you to that, you know."
"Yes, My Lord."
No matter how many times Ciel partook in sexual pleasures with Sebastian, it never failed to feel new and electrifying to him every time. The young earl knew he would never grow tired of his butler's lips or body. It was almost like a drug—intoxicating and addicting, drawing him in deeper and deeper with each new encounter.
Though, to Ciel, those feelings alone were not sufficient. The true reason he loved his encounters with Sebastian was to see him lose control. Even during sex, his ever loyal butler was quiet and poker faced, but if Ciel was lucky enough to see him orgasm, it was certainly a sight to behold. His eyes unfocused, mouth open in a silent moan, and head tilted upwards in ecstasy. Those were the rare moments that Sebastian lost face, and Ciel loved every second of it.
Tears were filling his eyes. The sensations were too much. He shuddered and twitched in pleasure, as Sebastian made him come. The earl bit his lip to stifle his moaning, but it did little good. Ciel was in a haze, but managed to open his eyes and drink in the sight he loved so much—Sebastian losing control. The demon almost looked like a normal human in those moments because some part of him—no matter how small—was vulnerable. And that turned Ciel on unlike anything else in the world.
Meilin ran into the kitchen, and slammed the door shut. Her breathing was heavy, her hair was in disarray, and her hands were shaking. Bard and Finny were staring at her with confused expressions cemented on their faces. What could have scared the maid so horribly?
"The maid saw," she said. "She saw something she shouldn't have!"
"Of course you did," Bard muttered, rolling his eyes. "You always do. So what was it this time?"
"Something horrible," she choked out, tears filling her eyes. "Young Master is—Mister Sebastian—"
"Spit it out," Bard snapped, and the girl began to sob.
"Mister Sebastian is forcing Young Master to participate in buggery!"