Thanks for being patient. This isn't Beta'd but I hate making you all wait. I promise this won't be forgotten about and it will be finished in time.
I just moved. My Tax return got taken for unpaid school loans. So my move was/is barely possible without that money. And it's hard to focus on all the problems in my stories when I have all these problems in my life. It's draining to say the least.
BUT Meg and I will FINISH! I PROMISE! Sorry for any flow that was lost. Doing our best!
Forgive the fact that this isn't Bet'ad again I wanted to get it to you all cause it's been long enough!
Love you ALL! 3
What's in a Name?
I open the door to the spare bedroom at my fathers house as slowly and quietly as I can manage, the creaking makes me close my eyes in a silent panic of being caught by my father when I'm sneaking down to my boyfriend in tiny lingerie.
I can just picture Charlie waiting for me (or Edward) at the top of the steps, shot gun in hand. The thought gives me goosebumps, and I try not to freak out.
I tip toe down the carpeted hall and let out a sigh of relief to have made it this far. Each step makes a sound against my vain attempts to make myself weightless and able to float down the steps.
It's dark except for the light flickering from the TV in the living room. I was looking forward to waking Edward up, but I suppose having him awake is just the same.
When I enter the living room, Edward is fast asleep. I smile at how he feel asleep with the TV on. I giggle a little when I notice his right hand down the front of his flannel pajama pants.
I crawl onto the pull out bed, kissing his neck, causing him to pull his hand out unconciously. I swing my right leg over his waist straddling him. I almost lose it when I feel how hard he is beneath me. He moans, as I rock against him. I feel his hands grab my hips and he stills me. I'm not sure if he is awake, but he takes control and guides me against him.
I kiss his neck below his ear, and enjoy when he responds by kissing me back opening my mouth wide for him to dominate. Suddenly, he stops and his eyes open in shock.
"Iz, what are you doing?" he asks, lifting me off of him. His voice is gravely and low.
"Trying to release some of this sexual tension," I explain, cuddling closer to him.
"We did it in chicago before we left in your bed, with your roommate in the other room...and again when we got here like four hours later while your father ran out to the store...it's been like five hours since then, not that I'm complaining, but I really don't wanna piss your father off anymore than I am going to once he hears the news this weekend."
I frown at him, "Edward I can't help it!" I whine. "This," I place my hand over my lower abdomen that is slightly rounder than it was last month. "Makes me so horny!"
He laughs, pulls me down close to his side, then buries his face in the side of my neck. I can feel the warmth of his lips against my neck. It's not helping to calm the swirling of hormones happening inside me at the moment. I take the small invitation to move my hand down his chest while I bring my lips to his for a deep kiss. When I get to the waist band of his pants, and I feel some sense of victory, his hand comes over mine keeping it from moving any further.
"Gahhh!" I pull away in frustration.
"Please, it will break his heart enough that his little girl is pregnant, it will scar him for life to actually see her having sex...on his couch."
I roll my eyes, then roll over on my back. "I can't sleep without you knowing you are so close."
"Then...just go to sleep." He kisses the side of my head, holding me tighter against his side. My head rests on his chest. "Love you," is the last thing I remember saying before waking up the next morning.
In the spare bedroom.
"Shit. Shit. Shit."
I brush my teeth after the last wave of morning sickness hits, and rush my way downstairs. I expect to see Edward asleep on the sofa, but when he isn't there and I hear voices in the kitchen, I know I slept really late.
"Hey." Edward looks up from a pile of school papers on the table.
I smile at him, walking over to kiss him. When his hand ghosts over my belly for a brief moment, I freeze. Edward just smiles, and when I look at Charlie, his mustache twitches, but his eyes don't leave his newspaper.
"Morning, dad." he grunts, and turns the page.
"Hey, sleepy head."
"Is that turkey I smell?" I question Edward with a raised eyebrow.
"It is...I think your dad and I have it under control."
I bit my bottom lip and look around the kitchen in doubt. "You should have woken me up. I was looking forward to doing this today...aside from Em, I have the most important men in my life. I wanted to take care of them." I slump down in the chair between Edward and my father, pretty disappointed.
"You have the rest of your life to take care of others. I figured you needed the rest, and there is plenty left to do." Edward tells me, placing his hand on my knee.
"Saved you some breakfast, Bells," Charlie says, putting a plate of food in front of me. The smell alone makes my stomach turn.
I use my feet to push myself away from the table, "Excuse me," I say as calmly as possible. As soon as I am out of Charlie's line of sight, I run for the bathroom.
When I finish throwing up, Edward is waiting on the other side of the door. "Okay?" he asks, tucking some hair behind my ear.
"You sick?" my father asks, coming up behind Edward.
"I - ah, have a strong aversion to scrapple," I can't believe I'm doing this, when I know we have to tell him before we leave.
"Right," Charlie says, walking past us into the living room.
Dinner is done, and I'm trying my best to eat, it just isn't working. Thankfully, my fathers guest wasn't able to make it once it was clear I was already taken. Aside from that small disaster avoided, there are too many things untold, lingering. I don't just mean being pregnant.
Edward has no idea about college in New York. Which is nothing compared to the news I got the day he arrived in Chicago about my Pap smear. News that I have so many questions about that I can't get answers to until I see the doctor after the weekend. I don't want to worry him, because he will want to know things that I can't answer.
All I know as of now, is I need another test. The doctor needs another sample to look at more closely. I have no idea what that could mean for the baby. Or if I could have the C word.
I unconsciously, rub my stomach.
"Bells," my father's voice draws me out of my thoughts, when I look up he has an envelope in his hand. "I thought this be a good time to give this to you. I'm proud of you."
I nod, taking the envelope. "Thanks, Dad...but I don't think I'll be needing it." I know its a check for Banard.
"What?" Edward asks looking between us.
"Money for Banard." I manage to take another small bite of mashed potatos. I really want to underplay it.
"Banard?" Edward's eyes are wide with shock and pride. "You didn't even tell me you applied. Why -?"
The once casual conversation is now all over the place and I don't know which man to address or answer first, as my dad begins to show his confusion over not needing the money.
"Why? You in a rush to get back to Wildwood with-with...him." the disdain in Charlie's voice over the possible influence Edward has on me, couldn't be mistaken.
"Bella, why didn't you tell me about Banard? If you want to go..." Edward begins.
I can't take them both talking at me. I just let it all out. There is no good way to tell your father your un-expectantly expecting. I turn to Edward, his comment just pushes me over the edge about still going.
"What? You'll move to New York? Support me as best as you can as I try to raise a baby and take classes? And you take a job as a teacher for half of what you make now? Cause that will be really good. As if living in New York City isn't expensive enough, lets do it on half of what you make now, with a baby." I spit out not caring about how the so called cat got out of the bag.
"Baby?" Charlie says a bit too loudly. "I knew it." he shakes his head, he pushes back in the seat making a loud scraping sound against the wooden floor to stand up.
"We can figure something out. You don't need to sacrifice anything. I won't let you." Edward tells me.
I glance at my father pacing, mumbling to himself. "Dad - sit down please...I'm sorry if this disappoints you, but I have some other things going on...that I need to tell you both. I really wanted to wait until I had more answers, but I might as well just tell you what I know."
"I guess it can't get much worse," Charlie says, sitting down and pushing himself back in to the table.
Oh, it can always get worse, I think to myself staring at my plate of food. I look up, first at my father, then at Edward.
"I didn't tell you..." I begin taking a deep breath then letting it all spill out in one long run-on sentence. "Because one of the tests I took at the doctors came back showing abnormal cells, and they need to take another sample. It's probably nothing and will go away - but it could be more serious. I really won't know until I get back to Chicago and see the doctor on Tuesday to have the other procedure done. So I have no idea what is going to happen."
"You said test first, now its a procedure...my father is a doctor Bella - there is a huge difference. What kind of procedure? Is it safe for the baby? Is it something you'll need to do in the hospital?" I really hate that he is the son of a doctor.
"It's just done in the office, it's a coloscopy or something. She just uses a microscope to look more closely at the cells then takes a sample from where abnormal cells show up."
I stand up, leaving the table. I can't believe I just let all of that out. I feel like my chest is caving in as I climb the steps and lock myself in the bedroom upstairs.
I sink to the floor against the door, bringing my knees to my chest and hugging them close to my body. I can't hear the exact words, but I can hear Charlie being louder than he needs to be. Not exactly yelling at Edward, but it's apparent he isn't happy.
I hear the sound of feet climbing the steps, and Edward say how sorry he is. "I love her. I want the best for her too. Whatever that happens to be, I won't let her miss any opportunity. I won't force her to do what you or I happen to think is best for her either. At the end of the day - she isn't sixteen anymore. She's almost twenty-one."
I feel the door shake with the sound of Edward's knocking, "Iz, let me in, please. You just can't say all that to me and walk away."
I slide over so I'm not blocking the door. I reach up for the doorknob and turn it pushing it open a little for him.
He walks in, sighing before kneeling in front of me. "You have to talk to me. You don't have to deal with all this by yourself. You don't have to do what is expected or traditional being a young mother."
He pushes my hair out of my face, "I'm sorry," I tell him as he sits down in front of me. He holds his hand out and opens himself up for me. I let him pull me onto his lap, my head on his shoulder. "I didn't say anything, because I'm scared they will tell me I have cancer and shouldn't have the baby. Which I could never do...And in either case, what's the point thinking about Banard? I don't even know if I'm healthy enough to handle all that."
"Shhh, you are getting way too ahead of yourself. And...I'm no expert but I think it's pretty rare for someone your age to get cancer."
"Cervical cancer is one of the most common cancers to affect young woman," I whisper, looking up at him through my eye lashes. "You know, the whole HPV thing. That virus? My mom told the doctor not to vaccinate me against HPV when I was fifteen. She thought it was too risky. It be fitting that I'd end up with the virus that can cause cancer."
He wipes his thumb over the apple of each cheek. "People don't form friendships and relationships to deal with problems alone. You don't have to do anything alone ever again." His words bring more tears, and he soothes my hair with his hand. "I'm going to call my father, make sure he finds you the best doctor in Chicago to handle this. You will be fine. Our baby, will be perfect. You are..."
"Please don't say fine." I stop him. "You don't know that." His lips touch the top of my head, and he holds me tight.
"I should come back to Chicago to be with you this year. It's not right for you to do all this alone."
"No. You love your job. I love Wildwood. I want to be there."
"If there is something going on, and you need me. I have to do what is best - for my family. And that's you, and this little baby growing inside you...so if it's not going to be a typical pregnancy, Iz, I'm not going to be far from your side if you need me. And you finishing school, is important."
"I don't have to have a college degree, I mean you have a good job and everything." I feel like saying that, will make him think I can't be independent. "I mean, I'd like to, but sometimes life gets in the way...and its not like I need a great job."
"Iz, if you want to come back to Wildwood, and be a mom - and that will make you happy, I'll support you. But I know you. You want more. You wouldn't have applied to Banard if you kinda wanted to go. We just have to take things one at a time right now, so lets just focus on your health, then we can figure out the rest."
He picks me up, and places me in the bed curling up behind me. "I love you." I tell him.
His hand gently caresses my stomach, "Love you too," his fingers go beneath my shirt, I love feeling his palm against my growing stomach. I'm going to enjoy how cute it is right now, because I'm sure in a matter of months I'll feel like a beached whale.
That is really the last thing I should be thinking about, if the worst thing that happens is twenty pounds, I shouldn't even complain about it.
All night I have nightmares about getting fat.
"I need to change my flight for Sunday afternoon. I need to get on Flight 5432 to Chicago." I tell the airline company as I look at Bella's return flight information.
"Sure Mr. Cullen I can help you with that. You are aware of the fee's involved?"
I sigh, "Yes, it's fine."
"I have two seats left on that flight in first class for $915, would you like to purchase this?"
"I don't really have a choice...my girlfriend has a seat in economy, can I upgrade her to first class with me?"
"That shouldn't be a problem," the operator tells me in a voice that is way to sweet for someone who is about to overcharge me hundreds of dollars with fee's and penalties. Not to mention the cost of the ticket itself is ridiculous.
After I max out my credit card, with the hopes that my father will lend me the money I need to get back to Wildwood, I figure now is a better time than any to call Marcus about needing some time off.
"Marcus, it's Edward. I hate to call you over the holiday break, but something has come up, and I won't make it back by Monday." I tell him.
"Is everything okay? Will you be back Tuesday?" he asks.
"I'm honestly not sure...Bella is..." this is not how I pictured breaking the news to work about having a baby with a former student. "...expecting." I finally say.
"Well, congratulations Edward! Are you helping her get things packed to move home with you?"
"Not exactly, she's having a few complications. She has an appointment Tuesday, and I don't feel right about leaving her until we have some more answers. She is going to finish school if possible, and move back home in June. I'm not really sure when I'll be back...we are going to have to wait for lab work."
"I'm really sorry to hear that, Edward. We have an important meeting on Thursday we need you there."
"I know, I'll try my best to be back in time, but I need to put my family first right now." I explain to Marcus.
"Of course, I understand. Family first. Just keep me updated, I hope everything comes back good for you both."
"Thanks Marcus, I appreciate it."
When I hang up the phone, I head back to the bedroom where I last saw Bella, fast asleep. The bed is empty, and I notice the bathroom door shut. "Iz?" I ask.
"Just a minute!" I hear her struggle to get the words out. I can tell she is crying.
"Can I come in?" I ask her.
When she doesn't answer, I push the door open and sneak in sideways. "You okay?" I ask taking her in. She looks so hot. Wearing nothing but bikini cut white underwear with pink lace and matching bra. I really can't take my eyes off her tiny bump right below her belly button. Her breasts are a little fuller, and so is her ass.
God, I want her so bad. I move closer to her, my mind is getting filled with dirty, dirty ideas and all the things I want to do to her. The thought of her father down stairs should make me want to stop, but it spurs me forward.
I come up behind her, kissing her neck. I can't help it, spinning her around to face me, my hands squeezing her ass, "I want you...here, so bad." I tell her focusing on her sweet ass.
"I don't see how you could want any of this," she says pulling away, then motioning to her body,
She is staring at her stomach, then ass. "I have other things to be upset about right?" I'm not sure if she's asking me, or trying to be more rational about gaining weight while pregnant.
I shake my head because I'm confused. "What are you upset about?" I ask her. She huffs, pulling her jeans off the floor sliding them on each leg. When she gets them on her hips, it obvious there is no amount of sucking in that will allow her to fasten them.
"My jeans won't button...I weigh 118 pounds...I've never gone over 110... I've never seen you with a fat girl," she starts to cry again.
"Fat girl?" I question her. "You are not fat. And for the record, I am not some shallow guy . For the record, Jane wasn't always a size four. Back in high school, she was one of the 'chubbier' girls. I was still attracted to her when she was a size ten. Do you know how amazed I am that your growing our baby inside of you? I don't think there could ever be anything..." I think about saying beautiful, but it seems like a line. "sexier," I settle on walking closer to her again.
I put my hands on her hips and begin to peel the jeans off her body, "Look I already have a head start." I make her laugh with the comment before tossing the jeans back on the the bathroom floor.
I press my lips to hers, my hand anchoring on the side of her neck. I kiss her deeply, our tongues sliding against each others sensually. I move to focus on her neck, ears telling her how bad I want her, how much I love her.
Her hands grasp my hair, her breathing hitches. I go lower, licking her collar bone, bitting her nipple over her sheer bra on each side. Kissing between her breasts, as I grasp them both. I slide my hands to her back and unhook her bra, sliding the strips down until it falls to the floor between us.
I lean down to suck on each breast then stand up straight putting some distance between us, to admire how beautiful she is. I can tell she is feeling insecure, wrapping her arms around her stomach.
I shake my head, "Don't hide her from me," I say, pulling her arms away from herself.
"So, it's a girl?" she asks, her voice unsteady.
I drop to my knees, kissing the bump. "I think so," I look up at her.
"I always think of a boy."
I think about asking her another question about the baby, but I don't think she will be able to answer it, as I slide her boy shorts down her leg, following the path with my lips then repeat on her other leg. I love how my hand can wrap around her thighs almost all the way.
As my lips get higher on her legs, my tongue begins to start tasting her inner thighs,. Sucking, licking, kissing.
I look up at her, "Open your legs a little for me Iz," I instruct her. She grants my request allowing me to lick between her legs, moving my tongue in and out of her, and when I flick her clit with my tongue causing her to shake and pull my hair, I grasp her hips and pull her center closer to my face.
"You are so wet," I tell her, as I insert a finger inside of her. I bring my lips back to her clit, sucking it gently. I moan, causing vibrations against her, her legs tremble and I take on some of her weight afraid she might lose the strength in her legs.
"Oh, fuck," she attempts to whisper.
I can't help it, I love how full her ass is and I begin to squeeze it in my hands. I have no idea how she is going to respond, but I can't help but try.
I keep my focus on her clit, humming as her breathing gets more and more labored. I spread her ass cheek with my one hand, withdraw the one inside her which is slick from how wet I've made her. I use my tongue to lick her in long strokes. With my index finger I put it over her other hole, using steady, slow pressure to push it inside her. I can't believe how tight it feels.
It takes patience and I've never gotten this intimate with a woman before, but I've always had fantasies about it.
Once I have my finger fully inside, I don't move it. I pull away from her center, my face is wet and I can taste her in my top lip. "This okay? You can tell me to stop...I've never done this type of thing before...but I really want to," I pull my finger halfway out. "With you." I specify, slowly pushing it back in.
"It's..." she swallows nervously, "A little uncomfortable. Hurts a little."
I slowly bring my finger out, "I don't have to do it, baby."
She slides her hand down, her finger circling her clit. "It hurts in a good way, do it again?" she asks, seeming a little embarrassed to be getting off on having her ass played with.
I feel like my cock is going to break through my jeans as I reinsert my finger, this time moving my finger more.
"I need to be inside of you," I whisper pulling her down to her knees with me.
She pushes my hair off my forehead, trying her best to breath steady before kissing me. Her hands unbutton my jeans, pushing them down with my boxer briefs.
I watch her tiny hand wrap around my thickness and stroke a few times, I want to stop cause fucking my pregnant girlfriend on the bathroom floor just doesn't seem right.
"We should stop...finish this later." I manage to say full of regret.
"If you stop," she looks at me firmly, "I will personally kick your ass. We are finishing this."
I grab the back of her head and kiss her, before she pushes me away, and turns around her palms flat against the sink, and her legs spread. I can't help but just sit back, stroking myself a few times at the view. She turns her head back at me licking her lips.
"Hey," I lean over her warm body, my lips close to her ears. "Move over here a little." I instruct her so she pushes her ass out a little more. "Better?" I whisper with a kiss to her neck.
"It be perfect if you were filling me," she says breathless, turning back to look at me.
I smirk and shake my head. "Don't forget you asked for it." I begin to line myself up with her entrance and take my time pushing inside of her, which I guess isn't good enough as she pushes herself back on me in one swift motion.
"You've been way too gentle since the baby...I can't imagine not doing it rough the entire time I'm pregnant. You won't hurt him."
She is so wet, so tight, so hot. I twitch inside of her as she begins to circle her clit again. I grasp her hips, "You are asking for it." I tell her, pulling out then pushing myself back in fast and hard. "And you're right, I won't hurt her." I kiss between her shoulder blades and then give her what she wants.
Bella and I are both sitting on the sofa when Charlie gets home. His mustache twitches, as he takes us in.
I try to move because my hands are on her thighs, and her shorts are so, so short. Bella grabs my hands, and gives me the look.
"What's the worse that can happen? I'm already pregnant." She mumbles with a mouth full of popcorn.
I eye Charlie by the door as he takes off his jacket, and then his belt.
"In case you haven't noticed, he's licensed to carry a gun." I whisper.
"And trust me, when I say I've thought about using it." He murmurs, turning around he eyes the both of us.
"You kids packed, and ready to go?" He asks.
We both nod. Our plane leaves in three hours, and soon we have to head to Seattle. I didn't dare to schedule the flight when Charlie couldn't bring us. Bella's been a mess about leaving him all day.
The girls hormones are through the fucking roof.
Charlie walks over, and kisses Bella on top of her head.
"It's been nice having you here..." he pauses, "...having you both here. Let me go get ready, and then we can leave."
I look over to Bella after Charlie leaves the room. She's biting her lip and I can tell she wants to cry. Before I can even ask her if she's okay, or try to comfort her, she's in my lap, straddling me.
"What are the chances that I could convince him to come with us?" She murmurs against my chest.
My hands find her waist, fluttering over the baby bump, pulling her to me.
"Slim, babe. You see him soon, we'll fly back or I can buy him a ticket; besides he still has to meet our daughter."
She nods, looking up at me. Then corrects, "Son." with a wide smile. I push back a strand of hair that's fallen out of her pony tail behind her ear.
"You okay?" I ask, kissing her forehead.
"Yeah, sorry." She gives me a small smile.
"Stop being sorry." I tap her nose. We sit there smiling at each other, playfully kissing and I don't notice it until Charlie clears his throat.
"It's not too late to shoot ya, boy." He grunts, picking up bags and bringing them outside. When he gets to the front door, he turns around, "I am praying it's a girl so you can fully understand how I feel about Bella and you."
"You aren't happy for me?" Bella asks, with a sad look in her eyes.
"I didn't say that, Bells. I just hate the idea of losing you. Of not having a lot of time to be the most important man in your life."
Bella get's up and walks quickly to her father, "You will always be my father. I'm so blessed to have you, Emmett, Edward...Even Phil. I won't ever forget what you mean to me." She wraps him in a hug, he smooths down her soft chestnut hair, and I'm totally screwed if a little girl is growing inside Bella.
"First Class to Chicago, Now boarding." Bella squeezes my hand.
"You call Em right?" She asks. I nod. "I'm so glad you two are like brothers. Certainly a miracle from your first year working."
"Oh! I wanted to show you this..he sent this to me while you were sleeping."
I pulls out my phone and show her the picture Rose sent us. Yeah, it says to Bella and Edward. It's Cayden and Angel, both of them sleeping in Angel's bed. With the caption "Your first born sleeping with our first born. Sorry, mine is cuter and drools less."
Bella giggles."I could argue with the drool thing" I laugh with her and put my arm around her shoulder pulling her into my side.
"She's so good with kids. I can't wait until bean is here." She rubs her belly. "I hope I can be as good as she is. She is just so...natural."
I smile at her, and pick up our carry-on's, as they are calling our seats overhead. We get in line, waiting by the desk. My mind has been reeling, and I've been trying to let it sink in. The whole father thing. Most of it is an act. I'm really freaked out. About screwing up Izzy's life our. This kids life. I find myself repeating reminders inside my head all day like,
'Bella is carrying my baby.'
'We're going to be a family.'
'Diapers, formula, baby food, cloths every three months, a baby sucking on my girlfriends breast...I like that...and girlfriend. That has to change. She deserves to give birth a married woman, if she isn't stubborn about it." I smile thinking of her strong will, one of the things I love so much about her. I just don't want to take away that dream wedding day every girl dreams about just because this has happened backwards. She still deserves it. And I want nothing more than to stand up and show off how lucky I am to have her.
Almost as if she knows what I'm thinking, her hands wrap around mine.
"I love you." She whispers as we sit in our seats waiting for take off
"I love you...and you," I say pointing to her stomach.
"Little Embry Grey Cullen is very loved. Do you like that?"
"I mean not for a girl... I was thinking Gisella. Ella for short...Gisella Riley Cullen."
"That is cute...I mean I haven't rule out girls name I like the E - you and Emmet both are E's. Maybe Etta Charlie or Emelia Rose." She shurgs.
"Those are all cute. I did think of some boy names myself. Like -"
She cuts me off, "Oh! Emerson! I like Emerson...I think it could be a boy of girl...Emmie for short if it's a girl."
I just laugh. "Maybe I'll get my 2 cents in..."
"Everette is the only E name I thought of. But I like Keston..."
"Oh Effie is super cute!"
"Preston," I manage to add.
"You have a thing for this Grey name..." I point out. Not that I don't like it. I actually like most of them.
"What about unisex? Like Presely...Greyson is unisex...Charlie...Jamison..."
"Emerson is unisex," I point out.
"Peyton...Marley...Ryan...Blake, but I like that more for a girl."
"I thought it was a a boy?" I tease her.
"It is. but I mean we could just pick out our next one name."
"Next one?" I clear my throat. "You mean in like four five years...right?"
"I don't know I thought maybe we could just get it out of the way," she shrugs.
"We will see... I like most of the names. We can narrow them down later."
"Okay," Bella yawns, placing her head on my shoulder and falling asleep ...and all I can think is there's a person we need to name.
What's in a name? Not nothing that's for sure. It can really define a person. Even this little shit it stressing me out.
I have to remind myself over and over again that we can do this.
SOOO what names did you see that you liked? Help!