Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight and the characters
I guess that I had fallen back to sleep, because the next thing I knew I was on Edward's couch by myself. I couldn't help but form a smile across my face because I know that everything would be okay one day. I headed back to the guest room so that I could freshen up and change my clothes. It wasn't until I was brushing my teeth that I noticed that it was quiet to quiet to be precise. That could only mean one thing. That Carly was getting into something that she didn't need to be.
"Shit," I said spitting the rest of my toothpaste out. It dawned on me then that she was here with not only Edward, but Emmett as well. Those two were always getting into some type trouble when they were alone. I threw on a pair of yoga pants, a sweat shirt, and hurried down the stairs.
I headed towards the living room first, because that is where Emmett would play his video games. I saw nothing in there besides the fire cracking in the fireplace. The next place would be the dining room, because we always built blankets forts in there. Shit, they weren't in here either. I am running out of places to look.
"Bella," I heard Esme say from the kitchen. "Is that you dear?"
"Yes," I answered her taking a deep breath before heading into the kitchen.
"How are you today," she asked pouring herself a cup of tea.
"Okay," I answered biting my lower lip. I just really wanted to know were in the hell my child was.
"They're outside playing in the snow," she said with a smirk. It was almost as if she was reading my mind. "Edward and Emmett wanted to take her outside to play. That way you could get some sleep."
"They really didn't need to do that," I told her taking a seat across from her.
"Bella," she said before taking a sip of her tea. "Edward insisted on taking her outside. He said that you needed the sleep because you had another nightmare."
"Sleep is the last thing on my mind," I said not wanting to bring up the nightmares.
"I know," a voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Rosalie standing at the doorway. "I know what it's like to close your eyes and see them haunt your dreams."
"Rose," Esme said picking her cup up from the counter. I couldn't believe what had come out of Rosalie's mouth. How could she even fathom what I was dealing with? "I'll leave the two of you to talk."
"Esme," Rose said before she left the kitchen. "Could you make sure that Emmett doesn't get too carried away outside?"
"Of course," she said with a chuckle.
"Now," she said turning back towards me. "I know what you're thinking. How would I or know how you feel."
"Well," I started to say as she poured the two of us some tea. "How do you know what I am going through?"
"Because," she said taking the seat across from me. "I had something almost similar happen to me. It was my second year of college."
"How," I said shocked.
"I was walking back to my dorm room alone in the dark," she said taking a deep breath. She took a drink before she continued to talk. I couldn't help but feel drawn into her encounter. "I felt someone grab me from behind and cover my mouth with a towel. I passed out and the next thing I know is that I'm tied to a bed with no clothes on."
"How did they find you," I asked her staring down at my tea cup.
"My roommate Victoria," she said taking a deep breath. "When I didn't come back from the library she called campus police. They were able to capture the guy with the help of the sheriff's office. I was missing for a total of thirty-six hours."
"What happened to this guy," I asked looking up from my cup.
"He pleaded out," she said taking another deep breath. "The DA thought it best that I didn't relive everything again. He was sentenced to four years behind bars. Emmett managed to break the walls that I built after my ordeal."
"How," I asked looking at her. "How did you get over that? How did Emmett help?"
"Before Emmett," she started to before stopping to take a deep sigh. "I never went anywhere alone or anywhere at night especially. I woke up screaming every night from nightmares. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his face, and I could still feel his breath against my neck. Emmett showed up at my door one day with flowers, and I slammed the door in his face. I think that went on everyday for about six months. Step by step things got easier. Don't push Edward away. Let him be there for you."
"Ok," I said picking my cup for the first time and taking a sip. After hearing her story and seeing in living proof that she made it. Then I know that I can make it through this. "Can I ask you what his name was?"
"James," she said quickly. When she said that dropped the cup that was still in my hand. The cup shattered into pieces on the tile floor. I could feel my breath quicken and my heart race. She said his name. She said the name that I never wanted to hear again. "Bella, come on he can't hurt you anymore. Take a deep breath and let it out."
I looked up at her and followed her directions. After taking a few deep breaths I could feel my heart slowing dawn. Once I was calm enough I looked down at the floor and noticed the mess with the cup.
"It's ok," she said reassuring me. "I know that it is the same person who attacked me. This time he won't get at all."
"How can be so sure," I asked her quietly. "I mean how can be sure. Be sure that when he gets out the next time he won't try again."
"Trust me," she said with a chuckle. "With the amount of charges against James, he probably won't see the light of day for years. I promise things will get better."
"Okay," I said smiling at her. It was reassuring knowing that if Rosalie could get through this then I could too. "Thank you for telling me your story Rosalie."
"You're welcome," she said reaching over and hugging me. "Now let's clean up this mess. We don't anyone asking questions."
"Okay," I said as we both laughed. I was already in the floor picking up some of the pieces when I noticed that Rosalie was trying to get in the floor to help me. "Rosalie oh no you don't, you sit still. This is my mess and I will clean it up. Plus you are pregnant and you are going to take it easy."
"Mommy," I heard Carly say before Rosalie could say anything. I looked over towards the doorway and saw my little girl. She still had half of her snow clothes, her cheeks and nose were a rosy pink, and her hair was all over the place. "What appened?"
"Well," I said trying to think of something quickly. Before I could spit something out Edward and Emmett came in and stood behind Carly.
"Hey Edward," Rosalie said speaking up switching their attention to her. "You always said the Bella was clumsy, but I didn't believe you until I saw it for myself."
"This is tame," Emmett said busting out a laugh. "This one time she was carrying a pan of baked spaghetti and tripped over the rug in the dining room."
"Gee thanks," I said as everyone started laughing. I could feel the blush starting to creep up my neck. Then it dawned on me that Emmett did something just as embarrassing that day as well. "Emmett I might have dropped the pan on the floor but."
"Bells," he gasped out. "Don't say it, I beg you."
"Please do," Rosalie said with excitement as I threw away some of the broken glass. Edward had gone to get the broom and was sweeping up the rest of the mess. "I've heard all kinds of embarrassing stories from everyone else. I've never gotten the chance to hear any from you."
"Let's just say," I tried to say without laughing. I couldn't help it was still as funny today as it was all those years ago. I felt Edwards's arms snake around my waist and I leaned my body into his. It was just a natural instinct when he did that. "As soon as the spaghetti pan hit the floor and splattered everywhere. All we could see was a blur and saw Emmett down in the floor with a fork eating."
"Emmett," Rosalie said smacking him upside the back of the head. "That is disgusting and not to mentioned full of germs."
"Yes," he said rubbing the back of his head. "Hadn't you ever heard of the five second rule?"
We all couldn't help it but laugh. It felt so damn good to laugh like this for once. I looked over and noticed that Carly was sitting at the kitchen with her head down. She looked as if she was ready to take a nap.
"Carly," I said catching her attention. "Come on sweetie, let's go get you changed."
"No," she said quickly standing up from the table. "I want Aunt Alice to pick my clothes out."
"Sweetie," I said trying not to get upset. I removed myself from Edward's arms and kneeled in front of her. "I don't know where Aunt Alice is. So come on let's go get you changed."
"No," she said stomping her feet. "If I can't have Aunt Alice then I want Aunt Rose to get my clothes. I don't want you."
"Okay," I said still trying not to get upset. "While Aunt Rose gets you dressed, I'll make you some lunch."
"No," she said stomping her feet once again. "I want daddy to make my lunch. He makes animals out of my sandwiches."
"Fine then," I said standing up and stepping away from her. I was trying so hard to hold the emotions in.
"Carly," Edward said speaking up. "You do not and will not speak to your mommy like that."
"Rosalie," I said trying not to cry by facing the windows. "Could you please take Carly and get her changed? Edward could you please fix her lunch the way she likes it?"
"Come on Carly," I heard Rosalie say as she walked past me. I watched the two of them walk out of the kitchen from the corner of my eye. What in the hell just happened? I mean she isn't supposed to be talking to me like until she is a teenager. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and they were on the verge of falling.
"Love," Edward said trying to comfort me by placing his hands on my shoulders.
"Don't," I said shrugging his hands of my shoulders. I didn't say anything else to him or to Emmett as I headed out of the kitchen.
"Bells," I heard Emmett yell as I started down the hall. "Don't go she didn't mean it."
I just wasn't in the mood right now to talk to anyone. I saw the first door on the right and ducked in. Closing the door I slide down to the floor and started to let it all out. I cried because my daughter no longer wanted me to help her. I cried because I couldn't believe how she just talked to me, because she had never done that before. I cried because of what happed to Rosalie, and what all she went through.
"Bella," someone said in the room. I uncovered my face and saw Carlisle sitting at his desk. I hadn't realized that I was in his study.
"Sorry," I said standing up quickly and wiping my face dry. "I didn't mean to bother you."
"Take a seat," he said pointing to one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Plus you never me bother me. Now are you okay?"
"Yes, no," I said shaking my head. "To tell you the truth I just don't know anymore."
"I see," he said taking his glasses off. "It's ok to feel like that like. Especially with all that you have been through the past month. What brought on the tears just now?"
"Well," I said taking a deep breath. "I feel useless right now. I just want things to go back to normal."
"What's normal," he said going into his doctor mode. Great this is the last thing that I needed right now. What I needed was for him to act like the second dad and listen to me, and not be the doctor.
"With Carly," I said trying not tear up once again. I still couldn't get past what had happened in the kitchen. "She doesn't want me to do anything with her. She wants either Alice or Rosalie to pick her clothes and dress her. She wants Edward to fix her lunch because he cuts her sandwiches into animals. I bet she'll want Emmett and Jasper to play with her. So where does that leave me?"
"Bella," he said walking around his desk and handing me a tissue. I hadn't realized that I was crying again. "I love you like you are my own daughter. I don't believe that Carly was doing it to be mean or hurtful. To her this is a game, because they all fight for her attention. I know it is sad, but it's true. I will tell you this. It won't last long because there will be more babies here soon."
"Okay," I said as we both laughed a little.
"Now," he said getting a more serious. "Esme and I want what's best for you. How would you feel about talking to someone who doesn't know what happened?"
"Like a therapist," I whispered out.
"Yes," he said taking my hand. "You don't have to give me an answer now. I would like for you to think about it. Whatever you tell them it will stay there. No one here will now what is said, until you are ready to tell us yourself."
"What," I started to say trying to process what he was saying. "What do you think on a professional level?"
"Professional," he said taking a seat on the corner of his desk. "I would highly recommend it. It could help with any anxiety that you are feeling. It could also help with letting go of those nightmares."
"Can I think about it," I said standing up.
"Of course," he said hugging me. "Take all the time that you need."
"Thank you," I said walking towards the door. "Oh and Carlisle can you do something for me."
"Anything," he said taking his seat at his desk again.
"Could you," I said taking a deep confident breath. "Could you keep Edward busy? I would like to go out for a walk to think things over."
"Yes," he said as I walked out of his office.
I closed the door quietly and headed towards the stairs. I knew that I had a lot to think about. Maybe it would be best for me to speak to someone who didn't know what had happened. I was getting ready to hit the stairs to go up to the third floor when I heard Rosalie.
"Carly," Rosalie said in a somewhat stern voice. "Why did you say those things to your mommy?"
"Because," Carly said still with an attitude. What on earth has gotten into her today?
I didn't want to hear anymore, so I went on up to the guest room. I threw on a pair of jeans and some boots. Looking through my things I noticed that I didn't have any gloves or a scarf. Then I remembered that Esme always kept some spares in the downstairs closet. I hurried back down the stairs and was digging in the closet when I heard a velvet voice call out.
"Love," Edward said as I was pulling my coat on. "Where are you going?"
"Out," I answered quickly. Where was Carlisle when I needed him? I really wanted to avoid a situation like this.
"I'll go with you," he said coming closer.
"No," I said putting my hand up to stop him. "I don't want to you to go with me."
"Son," Carlisle said coming out of his office. Great timing on your part I thought.
"Look," I told Edward. I wanted him to understand that I needed just a few minutes to myself. "I love you Edward with all my heart. I just need a few minutes to myself to think some things over and to clear my head."
"Bella," he said depressed and looked as if his heart was breaking.
"Edward," Carlisle said coming up beside of him and cutting him off. "Let her go to clear her mind. She will be back in a little bit. Have you finished Carly's lunch yet?"
"Fine," he said before turning and walking back towards the kitchen.
"Thank you," I told Carlisle before opening the door.
"Bella," he interjected before walking out. "I can only hold him back for maybe an hour."
I didn't answer him but instead nodded as I closed the door. Once I felt the feel of snow underneath my boots I knew where I wanted to walk to. There was a clearing about a quarter of a mile from the house that I used to escape to. I took a deep breath and started towards the clearing.
"Damn it," I said slinging a skillet onto the stove.
"Edward," dad said coming into the kitchen. "What is your problem?"
"My problem," I said with somewhat of an evil laugh. "What's my problem? My problem is that you let Bella go out by herself."
"Son," he said calmly at first. I guess to let me vent a little longer.
"No," I said slamming the cabinet door closed. I can't let anything else happen to her. "The last time she went anywhere by herself she was kidnapped."
"Edward Anthony," he said smacking the counter with his hand. I knew that he was pissed because he threw out my middle name. I may be in my twenties but that can still send chills down my spine. "Give her some time alone to think. She feels useless and unwanted right now."
"What," I said shocked. How could she? Why would she feel like that? "What do you mean useless? What do you mean feel unwanted? How could she ever think that?"
"Bro," Emmett said coming back into the kitchen after he showered. "It has to deal with what happened with Carly earlier."
"Emmett's right," dad said taking a seat at the bar. I was starting to cool off. I still thought that dad was crazy for thinking that about Bella. "Edward before Bella came back into our family and brought Carly. Who did everything for Carly? It was Bella who did everything for her. She picked out her clothes, fixed her meals, and played with her. Something happened earlier today to make Bella to start doubting herself."
"I know what happened," Emmett said speaking up as I was cutting Carly's sandwich. "Carly threw a fit on Bella after we came in from playing in the snow. She didn't want Bella to get her clothes or fix her lunch."
"See," dad said once Emmett stopped talking. "She just wants things to go back to the way they were before the kidnapping."
"Daddy," Carly said bouncing into the kitchen. Emmett and dad both made some valid points. Bella had done one hell of job raising Carly on her own. Then to have the feeling as if you are no longer needed any longer by that person. I honestly wouldn't know how to feel if Carly did that to me. "Where's mommy?"
"She went out," I answered her as I set her plate in front of her.
"Carly," Rose said walking into the kitchen. "Did you tell your mommy that you were sorry?"
"No," she said quietly shaking her head. "Mommy's gone."
"Gone," Rose said shocked walking over and sitting on Emmett's lap. "Where did she go?"
"Bella," dad interjected before Emmett or myself could say anything. "She went outside for a walk and will be back in a little while. Edward may I speak with you out in the hall for a few minutes?"
"Sure," I said as I followed him out into the hall.
"Listen," he said turning to face me when we were in the hall. "Bella's not mad at you son. She just has so much on her mind right now. Be patience with her. She needs you more than she knows it."
"You're right," I said leaning up against the wall. "It's just that I'm scared to lose her again. I lost her all those years ago trying to do what I thought was the right thing. Then I had to be an asshole before Christmas and walked out on her. When in reality she was giving me one of the best gifts ever. Then there is the day when she went home and she got kidnapped."
"It'll be okay," he said reassuring. How does he know if everything will be okay? "What if I told you that I told her that I couldn't keep you away for long?"
"Really," I said with a smile. "Where did she go?"
"Son," he said laughing. What did he think was so funny? I had no idea where she would go. "She went to her favorite spot on the property. I watched her take the old path up to it. Did you really think that I wouldn't see where she would go?"
"No," I said as the wheels were turning. Her favorite place on the property, and it could be thousands upon thousands. Once dad said that he saw her take the old path the light bulb clicked. I knew exactly where she went. There was a clearing about a quarter of mile from the house up the old dirt path. On sunny days I would always find her there under the oak tree reading.
"Edward," dad said as I kept thinking about Bella there. As she read there would always be long pieces of hair hanging in her face. There were times that we would have picnics in the clearings to celebrate each other's birthdays. "Earth to Edward are you listening to me."
"Sorry," I said snapping out of my daze that I was in. "I was just thinking about Bella at the meadow."
"Sure you were," he said laughing and patting my shoulder. "Be there for her, be there to listen, and have patience with her."
"Okay," I answered him as he headed back to his office. I just stood there thinking for a minute before heading back to the kitchen. My Bella has been through so much lately. What did I do in return? I brushed it off too easily, and didn't let her actually say what all she needed to say. I mean we talked last night, but I tried to get her to hold off until today. I was shaking my head in disgrace as I headed back into the kitchen.
"Daddy," she said bouncing around the bar. "Can we go play now?"
"No," I answered her. When she heard that word her bottom lip stuck out and she started to tear up. I have to admit that I rarely ever told her the word no, because I didn't want to make her cry. "You are going to go upstairs and take a nap."
"But," she whimpered out.
"Carly," I said kneeling down to her level. "You were very mean to mommy this morning. You hurt her feelings with the things you said."
"I'm sorry," she said as I wiped a tear that was trailing down her cheek. "Is she mad at me?"
"No," I said picking her up. I knew Bella wasn't mad at her. It's just that Bella was hurt and didn't know how to react to what had happened. As I carried her up the stairs she nuzzled herself into my neck. So maybe telling her that she needed a nap was a good thing in the long run. When I tucked her into her covers she was already half asleep. "Everything will be alright princess. I love you."
"Love you," she whispered snuggling into her blankets. I kissed the top of her head and left her room.
After I closed her bedroom door I headed back down to the first floor and grabbed my coat. I figured that she had had enough time alone. As I grabbed my gloves I noticed a thermos sitting on the table with a note.
Something to keep the two of you warm!
Picking up the thermos I headed out the door and started towards the old path leading to the clearing. The question that was now going through my mind was. Will she be willing to talk to me after I tried to stop her last night?