Dedicated to Sasori Akasuna whose Birthday was Yesterday (8th of November)
Sozzy this was late ^-^" Heh Took me about 3 days to write
Warning- SasoDei Smut, MattMello Smut, Pokemon references, Bowling terms, Gravitation reference, Sex jokes, intrusive narration, mainly for comedy purposes, randomness, Plot? What Plot?, so on and so forth X3
Believe it or not, but I've been meaning to write a SasoDei Bowling story since last year cause I'm in a Bowling League XD The highest I've ever bowled is 178 ^-^ HA! I BEAT YA MELLO! My sister even works at AMF Bowling XD I finally got around to writing! I'll get back to you on the Porn Star fan fiction ^-^"
Total Words- 7003 (not including this author comment part)
Pairings- SasoDei and MattMello
Main Characters- Matt, Sasori, Mello and Deidara
Some Bowling Lingo-
Spare – All pins down by at least the second shot
Strike – All pins down on first shot
Double – Two strikes in a Row
Turkey – Three strikes in a Row
…I think that was all the lingo I used *shrug* Something like that XD Lolz
I realised that my number of (yaoi) smut scenes are-
Bed- 26 smut scenes
Shower- 2 smut scenes
Floor- 4 smut scenes
…I just realised that I haven't done any smut scenes against a wall D=
So without further to do…
Two Strikes and a Spare
Both fair haired males were glaring hard at each other, while their red headed partners simply stared in boredom. Mello was the first to speak…Well, shout. "YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BLONDIE!"
Deidara's jaw dropped in anger. "WHO YOU CALLING BLONDIE, BLONDIE? AND YOU'RE THE ONE GOING DOWN, UN!" Both blonds continued to scream at each other, while poor Sasori and Matt just stood a few metres away.
"…" Matt scratched the back of his head. "I never thought that it was possible for two people to get so competitive over a bowling game…"
Sasori gave a shrug. "We haven't even entered the building yet either…" About five minutes ticked by, with the blonds still screaming at the top of their lungs. Sasori frowned in annoyance. He hated to be kept waiting dammit. The puppet had half a mind to waltz up to the bickering boys and beat them senseless just to shut them up. Before Sasori could put his plan into action, however, Matt was already trying to get them apart.
"Mello and Deidara…We should get bowl-"
"DON'T INTERRUPT US, UN! WE'RE HAVING A HIGHLY MATURE ADULT CONVERSATION HERE!"
Mello glared even harder at Deidara (if that were even possible). "HEY! DON'T TALK TO MY BESTIE LIKE THAT, YOU SLUT!"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU WHORE, UN?"
"TAKE THAT BACK!"
"OH YEAH, UN? WELL YOU DIE FROM A HEART ATTACK!"
"YOU COMMIT SUICIDE BY BLOWING YOURSELF UP YOU FUCKING PUSSY!"
"AT LEAST I GET BOUGHT BACK TO LIFE, UN!"
Sasori couldn't take it anymore. "BOTH OF YOU! QUIT SPOILING YOUR STORIES AND SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I RAM MY FISTS DOWN YOUR THROATS!"
By some sort of miracle, both Deidara and Mello immediately stopped talking, gawking at the scary red head. Sasori blinked and looked to see a group of small children had been exiting the AMF building, probably from a party, and were staring at him stunned. The children's mothers were staring in just as much shock. One of them actually screamed and began running as fast as her little legs would take her.
Sasori began to mumble under his breath and grabbed Deidara by the ponytail, dragging his boyfriend into the building. The poor blonde whined as he was forced to painfully follow.
Matt and Mello both trailed behind the ninjas. "You're lucky you don't have a ponytail, Mellsy."
The blond shot him a glare. "Like you'd have the balls to drag me anywhere." Matt pouted.
"Hey, I'm the seme in this relationship…"
"No shit, Sherlock, because you're way too delicate to be the uke. If I ever fucked you, then all you would ever do is use the excuse 'I can't get up, Mellsy' and then you'd spend the next 4 days playing Tetris or some shit like that. If you can't move, then how the hell am I supposed to get any chocolate?"
Even though they both talked like this, it was just a big joke. Really they were just friends (Sadly, without benefits) and hadn't ever had sex with each other. Deidara and Sasori didn't know that this was just a joke though.
"It's not like you'd be large enough to-" Matt quickly cut himself off.
Mello abruptly stopped walking, a dark shadow covering his face. "…What were you going to say?" There was a deadly tone in his voice.
Matt sweat-dropped. "…Well…It's funny…You see…BYE!" The red head began running for his life, catching up to Sasori and Deidara. Somewhere along the trip, the puppet had let go of Deidara's ponytail. At the moment, the blonde was pouting.
"You're so cruel, Sasori Danna."
"You didn't seem to mind last night, Brat…Or this morning for that matter." Sasori trailed off in his thoughts.
Matt clamped his hands over his ears. "MY BRAIN!"
Deidara quirked an eyebrow at the gamer. "That's pretty hypocritical for a gay boy, un. Don't you ever get laid?"
Matt suddenly felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. He tensed and knew that Mello had caught up to them. "Oh course he does." There was a deadly intention hidden behind the blond's voice. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't fuck my uke every once in a while?"
Hey! Matt was supposed to be the imaginary seme! The gamer opened his mouth but was cut off by Sasori interrupting them.
"Hey, what size do you need?"
"Well my size is very large so I guess-"
"I meant as in bowling shoes…"
"Gawd, the mental image…" Sasori shuddered.
They had actually reached the desk already. Mello took his arm from around Matt's shoulders and they each ordered a suitable sized pair of shoes. They were bowling on lanes 19 and 20 apparently.
"NO!" Mello glared at the woman. "I AM BOWLING ON LANE NUMBER 1!"
The poor teenaged worker seemed utterly terrified. "B-B-B-But…There is a family already bowling on lanes 1 and 2…"
Mello growled. "I WILL BE NUMBER ONE!" The blond marched over to the first two lanes and began screaming some very rude comments which I should not write here…Let's just say it was enough to make the poor customers run away crying. They all sat down on the seats for the lane, except for Sasori.
"Okay, so what names should I type in?" They all talked at once, saying completely ridiculous names such as 'Willy Wonka', 'Zelda', 'Artist', 'Aweasomesauce', 'Roflcopter', 'Mr Wonderful', 'Dixie Normous' (try saying that out loud) and some which even I didn't catch. Sasori was irked by it all and chose the names himself.
Mello was 'Blondie'. Matt was…Well…'Matt'. Sasori was 'Master' and Deidara was 'Brat'.
Both blond's stared at the red head in devastation, but Sasori didn't let them change the names he had set. Deidara began to pout.
Mello frowned down at the bowling shoes he now wore. They didn't seem right…His left foot seemed more comfortable than his right foot. He checked the sizes marked on the back of the heel to see that they were both the same size. The blond began to pointlessly glare at his feet. "I need chocolate." Mello got up and disappeared from the lane, walking over to the serving counter.
Matt began to look over the different bowling ball sizes. "…Hmmm…What ball size should I get, Pikachu?"
"Pika Pika!" The imaginary Pokemon chirped. Yes, Matt had an imaginary Pikachu. Who said he was insane?
"Pick a? Pick a what?"
"Pick a two?" Matt frowned at the balls. "I don't see a two…"
The Pokemon lowered its ears and glared at him. "PIKACHU!"
"But I'm telling you there isn't a two…"
"…You're one demented Pokemon…Scarier than a Furby for Skarmory's sake…" Matt hailed to one of the workers. "Is there a size two ball? My Pikachu keeps telling me that I need a size two ball."
The bowling worker stared at him as if he were insane (which doesn't seem too far off the mark). "...Pikachu is lame, chose a size 10 ball." The girl ran away from the crazy man.
Matt frowned and picked up a grape coloured ball which read size ten. "Sorry Pikachu." The imaginary Pokemon disappeared in a burst of hellfire, sending the fiend back to from whence it came.
Deidara had taken his Akatsuki cloak off, and was trying to make Sasori do the same. "Come on, Danna! The cloak curse doesn't work in places out of the Narutoverse!"
"I ain't taking the chance, Brat."
"But you're puppet body is so sexy! Pwetty pwease Danna, un?"
"I'm telling you no."
Over at the counter, Mello was throwing a small tantrum…
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T SELL THE CHOCOLATE I LIKE?"
The male worker raised an eyebrow at the blond. "Sorry, Dude, but what you see is what you get." He pointed to the rack of assorted chocolate bars.
"THIS IS BULLSHIT!"
"I am 98% sure that it's actually chocolate."
"BUT IT AIN'T THE FUCKING TYPE I LIKE!"
"What about these chocolate frogs?" The man pushed a large container forward. "50c per frog. How can you deny a chocolate frog?"
Mello growled and pulled a 50c coin out of thin air (because blond's are magic like that) and gave it to him in exchange for one of the frogs. "Here."
The man gave him one and Mello bit into it.
Matt put the bowling ball down on the…the…the red head didn't know a name for it. The thing where you kept your bowling ball during the game…Rack?
The practise bowling had already started, but Sasori and Deidara had somehow become preoccupied with each others lips…So to speak…
Matt frowned at them and picked his bowling ball back up. Much against usual belief, you're actually supposed to use your middle two fingers to bowl, as well as your thumb. Even though Matt had never been bowling before, he had enough video games to somehow know that. He held it properly, and tossed it down the lane. The ball fell into the gutter. The red head frowned, and then realised that it wasn't usually a good idea to wear gloves while bowling. He took them off and put them down on the seat.
"SUCCESS, UN!" Deidara had succeeded in taking his Danna's cloak off while he had been distracting him with a kiss. Sasori blinked, and then gave a growl.
"Whatever." He pulled Deidara' fishnet shirt off. "But I'm wearing this to hide my puppet body." Deidara just shrugged and the red head pulled the fishnet shirt on. The blonde stood up, and several women on the lane began to stare at his shirtless glory, the majority of them drooling.
Mello came over to the lanes carrying the entire container of chocolate frogs with him. Matt stared at the large tub, sweat-dropping. "Ummm…Mello…"
"Shut up, this stuff is actually pretty good."
"If you're going to buy chocolate frogs, then at least buy Fredo Frogs! Or even those chocolate frogs in Harry Potter that move and…" Matt began to get lost in thought.
Mello rolled his eyes and placed the large tub down on the seat. The intercom suddenly went off, telling them that they were now allowed to start bowling.
The blond was up first. He stood, picked a random ball from the rack, and chucked the ball aimlessly down the lane. It hit the pin on the far left (7), but none of the others. Mello gaped in pure rage. "YOU FUCKING PINS! HOW DARE YOU STAY STANDING?" Mello made a move to grab his gun, but grabbed thin air instead. Oh yeah, Matt hadn't allowed him to take the weapon out bowling today. Mello mumbled and picked up the ball again as the machine bought it back. He chucked it once more, this time getting the pin on the far right (10). The blond glared and sat down, shoving several chocolate frogs into his mouth.
Sasori was next. He stood up and picked a red bowling ball from the rack. The puppet moved over to lane number two and rolled the ball down the centre. It knocked over all of the pins except for the 7th and the 10th.
Mello burst out laughing. "YOU COULDN'T EVEN HIT THOSE TWO? THOSE WERE EASY TO HIT!"
Sasori shot him an unamused look and picked his bowling ball back up from the rack. He rolled the orb down the lane once more, hitting the 7th. The pin flew to the right and knocked over the 10th. An animation played on the screen which read 'Split Spare. You got it!'
Mello sneered and shovelled a few more frogs into his mouth. Matt's turn was next.
The gamer stood and picked his ball up from the rack, throwing the sphere correctly down the lane. There was a crash as the ball knocked over all of Matt's pins. A different animation played on the screen, which told them that the red head had gotten a 'Strike'.
He turned around to see that everyone was gaping at him in shock. "…Videogames."
His blond partner mumbled something along the lines 'Beginners Luck'. The red head sat down next to Mello and Deidara stood up.
"MY TURN, UN!" He picked up Sasori's ball. Said red head quickly got up and snatched the ball from the blonde.
"Mine. Get your own." Sasori sat back down, holding his red ball on his lap.
Deidara pouted and picked up a new ball from the rack. He walked up the lane and started to calculate how to throw it. Half a minute later, Deidara finally threw the ball at the pins. It rolled into the gutter. The blonde gaped and then turned to Sasori. "DANNA! MY HAND MOUTH WAS DROOLING AND IT MADE MY BALL ALL SLIPPERY AND IT SLIPPED FROM MY GRIP!"
Sasori smirked at him. "Not my fault, Brat."
Deidara mumbled under his breath, something about no sex for a week, and picked his ball back up. He chucked it down the lane, only to have it roll back into the gutter. The blonde glared hard at the pins with a look that could have frozen hell and sat down next to Sasori, plotting the demise of the white and red pins.
Matt hurriedly covered Mello's mouth to stop the snide comment that the blond would have undoubtedly made about Deidara. He didn't want anyone in a nearby proximity to be killed by the blonde's wrath.
Frame One Scores-
Blondie- 1'1 = 2
Master- (8)/ = 10
Matt- X = 10
Brat- -'- = 0
Four more Frames later-
Blondie- 1'1 + 1'1 + 1'3 + 3'3 + 4'3 = 21
Master- (8)/ + (8)/ + (8)/ + X + 9/ = 86
Matt- X + X + X + X + X = 120
Brat- -'- + -'- + -'- + -'- + -'- = 0
Deidara was absolutely fuming with rage, surrounded by an aura floating around him which read Death, Destruction and Vacuum Cleaners…Oh wait, I meant Doom. My bad.
Matt got another strike and then realised that he needed to go to the bathroom. He mumbled and began trying to hunt down the toilets. The red head eventually found a door which read Toilets, but he couldn't figure out how the hell to open the door. He looked downwards to see a small green button sitting next to it.
"…This either opens the door…Or blows something up…" He pressed it and he suddenly heard an explosion go off in the distance. "…" The door also opened. He gave a shrug and walked inside the room and into the male toilets.
Sasori hit the blonde on the back of the head. "Stupid Shuichi!"
"It's Deidara, un!" Deidara rubbed the back of his head. He had just blown the pins up using his clay. Several people ran off screaming, while the rest just moved to lanes as far away from 1 and 2 as possible.
"I know what I said. I told you that I would only take you bowling if you promised to not blow anything up!"
"Hey…Where is Matt and Mello, un?"
"Don't change the subject, Brat!"
Matt got out of the toilet and moved to the sink, rinsing his hands underneath the warm water. There was a small click which caught the red head's attention. He looked over at the door, to see Mello leaning against it, a sly smirk playing on his lips. The blond had just turned the lock on the door.
Matt gulped and turned the tap off. "Mello? What are you doing?" Said blond began to slowly walk towards him.
"What do you think I'm doing?" Matt walked backwards, trying to get away from Mello. Was he going to die? The red head suddenly felt his back bump into something, and realised that it was the wall. HE WAS TRAPPED!
The red head tried to formulate a plan in his mind, but before he could even work out where on earth he was going to get the materials to make a drill which was capable of tunnelling through the Earth's core, Mello was already pinning him against the wall. Dammit, should have just bolted for the door.
There was a dangerous glint in Mello's eyes, and Matt swallowed loudly. What was going to happen to him?
"This is boring, un!" Deidara crossed his arms are glared at nothing in particular.
Sasori was staring at the other end of the bowling centre at the many groups bowling (as far away from them as possible). He was frowning in thought as he listened to the sound of the bowling balls smashing into the pins… "I have an idea, Brat." Sasori smirked at Deidara. The blonde recognised the expression and blinked at him.
"But Danna, where are-"
"Shut up and follow."
Sasori grabbed onto Deidara's hand and led him down the small alley way which was on the left side to lane number one. It led to the place behind the pins.
Matt was abruptly drawn away from his thoughts as Mello pressed their lips together. The red head stared into the blond's blue eyes to see a hint of lust hidden in the orbs. He felt a tongue slip into his mouth and run against his own. Matt gasped into the blond's mouth. His orifice tasted of…well…chocolate frogs…Mello grabbed onto one of the red head's hands and moved it down to the slight bulge in his leather. The blond pulled his lips away and smirked at his blushing best friend. "Still think that I'm small?"
Matt slipped one of his arms around Mello's waist and abruptly pulled their hips together. The blond gasped as his arousal rubbed again Matt's, and he began to grind their waists together. The red head stifled a groan and wrapped his other arm around Mello's waist as well. The blond put his own arms around Matt's neck, beginning to bite and suck at his neck.
Dammit! Matt would not be outdone! He had been the imaginary seme in their false relationship, so damn Mudkip, he was going to be the seme in their real one!
The red head gave a hard thrust against Mello, and the blond let out a soft groan against his neck. Matt pushed his left elbow back against the wall behind them. It took Mello a few seconds to realise that the red head had flipped them around and he was now against the wall. "Hey-" The blond was stifled with a sharp moan as Matt began to nibble at the scarred side of his shoulder.
"I'm seme." Mello opened his mouth to reply, but the red head had already started expanding on the statement. "As you said earlier, I'm far too delicate to be uke. You on the other hand are tough. It takes a very strong person with an enormous pain threshold to put up with being uke. Besides, uke gets all the pleasure."
Mello frowned. "Well, when you put it that- HEY! YOU MANIPULATIVE BASTARD! I'M THE SEME!"
Matt gave a sigh. "Well, if you're going to be this stubborn about it, I guess that I could always just make Near my uke instead. He wouldn't put up such a big fuss about me being the seme..."
Mello gaped at him. "YOU WOULDN'T DARE CHOSE THAT ALBINO OVER ME! I'M A WAY BETTER UKE THAN HE COULD EVER BE!"
"NO BUTS…EXCEPT FOR MINE! I'M THE UKE!"
Matt gave a sigh. "Fine then, you're uke."
"DAMN STRAIGHT I AM!"
For a genius, Mello could be a bit of a blond sometimes…Speaking of blondes…
Sasori and Deidara looked around the back of the bowling lanes. "Why are we here, Danna?" The red head was leading him up to the other end of the lane from where they had entered.
"You'll see…" Deidara suddenly became aware of a loud crashing sound…It was music to the blonde's ears. The echo of the balls smashing into pins resounded around the dimly lit area. There was nobody around except for the duo.
The crashes got louder the further they went along. Deidara gave a soft moan as he heard the deafening booms of the game so close, already gaining a semi-hard-on. "Danna~" The red head stopped moving and turned to the blonde, giving a sinister smirk.
"I think we're far enough." He moved forward and brought Deidara's lips into a heated kiss. The blonde kissed back needily, pressing his arousal against Sasori's.
Mello gave a moan as Matt tenderly licked and sucked at his neck while simultaneously pulling down the zipper on his leather vest. The red head moved his lips down and began nibbling one of the blond's pink buds between his teeth. Mello moved his hands to his pants, undoing the laces which held them around his waist. Matt helped the blond by pulling them down. The red head stared at the blond's undergarments in shock. "Oh my Chimchar…"
"What?" Matt shook his head in utter shock. "WHAT? TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG, MATT!"
"You…You…You actually wear underwear…" The blond wore black tight briefs which clearly showed his arousal.
"…" Mello hit Matt on the head. "Idiot."
"Hey! It isn't my fault that the fandom thinks that you go commando!"
"Well we can fix that, can't we?"
"…Isn't killing the fans off a bit of an extreme act?"
Mello rolled his eyes and pulled the underwear down, clearly not the modest type. "Stop breaking the forth wall."
Matt blushed. It felt awkward that Mello was naked (except for the vest which- oh never mind he just dropped that to the floor as well) while he was fully dressed. But, unlike Mello, he was too modest to take even his goggles off. Hell, he probably wouldn't have even wanted to remove his gloves right now if he hadn't have taken them off earlier! Mello cared more about his shortage of movement, rather than his excess number of clothes. "Don't just stand there gaping, idiot." Mello took Matt's left hand and bought it to his mouth, taking three of the digits into his lips. The blond began to suck on them seductively, and Matt found his own arousal standing to attention.
While Mello continued to suck on his fingers, Matt took to rubbing their hips together succulently. He cursed under his breath. If Mello didn't hurry up with those fingers, then he was going to die from excessive hard on.
As if reading his thoughts, the blond pulled the red head's fingers from his mouth and moved them to his entrance. "Now, you know what to do, right?"
"You tell me." Matt pushed one of his fingers into Mello's heat, causing the blond to stifle a gasp. The red head began to push and pull his finger in and out of his entrance, adding in his second finger after 6 thrusts.
Mello moaned and pressed his bare back hard against the wall tiles. "Cocky bastard~" Matt smirked and pushed in his third finger, the awkwardness from before completely faded. He continued to stretch the blond with his left hand, while his right now moved to his pants, trying to undo the button. Mello's hands moved to Matt's goggles, pulling the eyewear from his face, dropping them carelessly onto the floor. Matt somehow managed to open the fly of his pants and pull his throbbing member out from his boxers. The red head pulled his fingers out, and Mello gave a soft moan.
Matt helped to support his best friend as the blond wrapped his legs tightly around the red head's waist. Once he was secure, Matt pushed his length inside of Mello's prepared entrance. Both of them stifled moans at the feeling of the pleasure. The red head eventually became fully sheathed, and both just stood their getting used to the feeling. Matt chuckled softly. "So, Mellsy, how does it feel to lose your virginity in an AMF Bowling bathroom?"
Mello glared at him, which didn't look as impressive as it should have seeing as the blond's face was flushed with lust. "Fuck you!" Matt opened his mouth, but Mello quickly cut him off. "IF YOU DARE USE THE HACKNEYED LINE 'OTHER WAY ROUND' I SWEAR I WILL CHUCK YOU IN A BLENDER!" Matt smirked at him but obeyed. He didn't want Boost Juice to start selling a new drink called 'Le Puréed Matto and Mango'.
Totodile, Mello was so hot and tight on the inside. Matt began to softly pant in wanton lust, as did the blond. "What are you waiting for? An invitation? Move for fucks sake!" Matt gave a soft nod and pulled partly out of Mello, thrusting back in smoothly. The blond gave a muffled groan, pressing his head back against the wall. "Harder!"
Matt wrapped one arm tightly around Mello's waist, and used to other to support himself against the tiled wall. He pressed their bodies together tightly so Mello was sandwiched firmly between him and the wall. As they said, a cock and a hard place…Or was it a rock and a hard place? Same difference.
Matt began pulling out and then thrusting back into the blond's lithe body repeatedly. Mello was moaning with each shove, especially when Matt's length hit (or even brushed against) his sweet spot.
For some reason, a weird combination of the songs Sexting, Candyland and Scream for my Icecream (all by Blood on the Dancefloor) was chirping in the gamer's mind. Weird…Arousing…But still weird.
Mello moaned loudly as the red head became even more violent, though at the same time he was still tender. If you were Mello at that moment, then that line would have totally made perfect sense. He gave a gasp as he suddenly released over his own body. Matt stopped, and the blond looked at the smug expression on the red head's face. "You're fast, Mellsy."
Said blond glared hard at him and hit Matt on the head. "SHUT UP!" Matt chuckled and moved his mouth to Mello's neck, biting and kissing the sensitive skin.
"Well, I'm still not finished, Love."
"Damn straight you ain't!" Mello bucked his hips slightly, wanting the red head to start fucking him again. How could Matty possibly refuse?
He began to once more pull in and out of the blond's body, going faster once more. Mello moaned and was becoming hard once more; his length beginning to dribble with new pre-cum already. Matt moved his head down to one of the blond's nipples, biting down on the nub with his back teeth.
Mello moaned. The pain only added to the pleasure. God, he was getting close again, but dammit he wasn't going to release before Matt did this time!
The blond's hands began to wander the red head's body, slipping beneath his striped shirt. His fingers brushed over the pale skin of the gamer. Matt moaned softly and pulled his mouth away from the blond's nipple. Mello leaned his head down and began to nibble at Matt's right ear, breathing hot air onto the red head's skin.
"Holy Staryu, Mello I'm close~"
"Fucking fuck the fuck up about fucking Pokemon fuckers, Fucking Fucker!" Translation- 'Same'…Somehow…I think that Mello may have just won some award for using the F word so many times in one sentence…
Matt moved the hand which had been pressed against the bathroom wall down to Mello's weeping length. The tiles had made his palm cold, so when his fingers wrapped around the blond's heated flesh, Mello gave a low moan of pleasure, bucking his hips in need. The blond tightened the muscles in his heat, constricting the walls around Matt's arousal. This gave both of them even more pleasure.
Matt gave a loud moan as he released inside of Mello's lithe body, and Mello came at the same time as he did. Both were slightly dazed and their visions were speckled with white. Matt's shaky legs gave way and they collapsed onto the floor. Mello threw his head back subconsciously, accidentally hitting his skull against the wall. The blond cursed and leaned his head forward onto Matt's shoulder. Both sat there unmoving, holding onto each other tightly.
Sasori rubbed his hardening manhood against Deidara's through the material of their pants. Deidara moaned softly and wrapped his arms around his Danna's neck. The blonde bought his lips into another rough kiss, wanting Sasori to…Well…To kiss him back? How the hell should I know?
The red head slipped his tongue into the blonde's mouth, exploring the moist cavern hungrily. Sasori pulled away and began looking around the area, wondering where would be a good place to do this. Deidara didn't seem patient enough, however. He wrapped his arms around the red head. "Oh just fuck me on the floor, un~"
Sasori gave a distasteful expression. "On the floor, Brat? But it's all dusty..."
"Since when have you been so fussy? We're in the back of a bowling centre for crying out loud, un!"
Sasori rolled his eyes. "Fine then." The red head forcefully pushed the blonde to the ground. Not that Deidara minded, in fact he liked it rough. Sasori was on him in a few mere seconds, biting and sucking at his neck. There was suddenly a loud crash as someone in a nearby lane scored a strike. Deidara gave a moan at the pleasure of the pain mixed with the deafening noise.
"Tell me you have lube." Deidara gave a nod and pulled a small tube from the front pocket of his pants. "…" Sasori took it and gave the blonde an unamused expression. "Is it just me or do you take a bottle with you everywhere we go?"
"It's just you, un." Deidara smirked at him teasingly. "You never know when a tube might come in handy when we're in the picture."
Sasori rolled his eyes and pressed his lips to Deidara's passionately, tongues becoming entwined in a battle of dominance. While their mouths were busy, Sasori's hands were pulling down the blonde's pants and boxers. The bomber gave a moan as there was another thunderous crash from a strike (or maybe a double…Turkey?).
Sasori's lips moved away from Deidara's, making their way down to the blonde's neck, leaving behind a trail of nips and kisses. The red head continued moving downwards, biting his way down Deidara's already unclothed chest. The blonde mewed and dug his fingers into his Danna's red locks, wanting him to go even lower.
Sasori rolled his eyes and moved down, finally reaching Deidara's erect member. He ran his tongue up the blonde's cock, causing the bomber to give a soft gasp. "Come on, Danna~ Don't tease too much, un~" The red head smirked and took the blonde into his mouth. If Matt and Mello were back, then he didn't want to keep them waiting…for too long, anyway.
Sasori started sucking on the blonde's member, much to Deidara's pleasure. He moaned softly and bucked his hips upwards, which Sasori didn't seem to mind too much. While he pleasured the blonde with his mouth, his hands were busily at work on undoing his own pants. He pulled his length out of his boxers, stroking it a few times to make sure that it was as hard as it would go.
"Harder, un~" Sasori swallowed more of the blonde's member, beginning to deep throat him. Deidara moaned and tried to push his Danna's head down to take more of him in. Sasori refused to budge though, much to the blonde's disappointment. The red head's hands had already opened up the tube of lube, and he was already smearing the lubricant over his member. The blonde didn't need preparation (they had had sex together more times than Naruto had said Dattebayo! BELIEVE IT!) but lube was always good if Deidara had to walk around afterwards.
There was another roar as more pins were knocked down, and Deidara couldn't help but spill over in the red head's mouth. Sasori swallowed all of it and pulled his mouth away. Deidara was panting in crucial lust, a trail of saliva sensually running down his lips.
Sasori put the lid back on the lube and put it carelessly to the side. He took hold of the blonde's legs, positioning the head of his lubricated member at Deidara's entrance. With one hard thrust, Sasori became fully sheathed between the hot walls. The blonde moaned and Sasori already started thrusting in and out at an erratic pace.
The red head quickly found Deidara's prostate gland, having been inside of the blonde enough times to remember where it was located. He began to slam into it forcefully, much to Deidara's pleasure. "Fuck! Harder, un!"
Sasori smirked, and actually slowed his pace. "What was that, Whore? Slower?"
"I SAID HARDER, DAMMIT!" The blonde bucked his hips against the red head, trying to encourage him.
The puppet smirked. "Fine then. You asked for it, Slut." Believe it or not, but Deidara actually liked the dirty talk. Sasori began to thrust even harder than before, if that were even feasible.
Deidara moaned loudly in approval. His body was sweating both hotly and profusely. Sasori seemed to set his body on fire every time they had sex, and Deidara loved nothing more. Art was fleeting, after all.
More pins were knocked over in the background, and Deidara groaned louder, slipping his hands under the fishnet shirt that his Danna wore. The terrorist dug his nails into the puppet's back.
Good think that Sasori didn't feel pain. The red head leaned down, still thrusting hastily into the blonde's heat, and bit down on Deidara's neck. The bomber moaned at the pain, wrapping his legs around Sasori's waist so that his thrusts were more accurate in aiming at his prostate. The puppet caught on and gave a smirk, continuously slamming into the spot that drove Deidara wild.
"OH MY GAWD!" Sasori stopped and looked up to see a random girl standing there. Blood was dripping from her noes. The red head gave an annoyed growl, and the girl sweat-dropped. "Ah…Please continue…Just pretend that I'm not here watching you…" Sasori gave the girl a glare which could have frozen hell. "…As I was saying, I'll just be going now…" She ran for her life, as so many had done before her.
Sasori rolled his eyes, and looked at the flushed figure of Deidara beneath him. He was panting hard, with a lusty expression plastered all over his countenance. His cheeks were rosy red from blushing, and his golden hair seemed to frame his face perfectly. The blonde's azure eyes stared up at him needily, practically begging for pleasure.
There wasn't a more beautiful picture in the entire world…Though the Mona Lisa came pretty close…Maybe not.
Sasori crashed their lips together with enough force to bruise. Fuck, he loved the blonde so much.
The puppet began to thrust into him once more, just as forceful yet with somewhat more affection than before. Deidara went back to moaning like there was no tomorrow. He wished there wasn't a tomorrow, in fact, they both wished they could just live in that one perfect moment…Or maybe that one…Or that one? Not this one…This one? Definitely that one…Yep.
Deidara bucked his hips against Sasori's, listening to the sounds of the toppling pins. God, it was all too much. "Danna~ I'm gonna cum!" Sasori's hand moved to the blonde's throbbing member, beginning to stroke his Love in time with his thrusts. Deidara moaned loudly as he felt himself reaching climax. "Come on Danna, harder!"
Sasori's grip of the blonde's member tightened as he began to pump him even faster, his thrusts continuing to follow the rhythm which he had set out. Even he had to admit that he was also close to his limit. "Cum with me, Dei~"
Deidara gave a desperate nod and a soft whine. God, he couldn't hold it any longer! There was one last crashing sound as one of the bowlers at the lane directly to the right of them scored a strike, and Deidara slipped over the edge. He released over his chest, giving a loud cry. Sasori followed not a second later, filling the blonde up with his essence. The puppet shuddered in pleasure, giving a slight groan.
They both remained still, the only movements being the rise and fall of their chests. Sasori soon broke the silent. "You wouldn't happen to have tissues in the pocket of yours?"
Deidara sneered. "Are you kidding?" The blonde then gave a smirk. "I got Wet Wipes though." Sasori frowned and picked up the blonde's discarded pants, pulling a packet of Wet Wipes from one of the pockets.
He looked between the plastic package and Deidara, giving an unamused expression. "Of course."
Matt unlocked the bathroom door, to see a long que of men waiting to use the cubicles. The red head sweat-dropped and both he and Mello walked out slowly. The blond gave a smirk. "Stay away from the Nachos." Before they could get questioned, they hurried back to Lanes 1 and 2. Oddly enough, Sasori and Deidara weren't there. "I guess they got bored of waiting." Mello gave a shrug and picked up his ball seeing as it was his turn to bowl. The blond rolled it down the lane, and for the first time that day, managed to get a strike. The ex-mafia boss cheered and glomped Matt. "I DID IT MATTY! I'M NUMBER ONE!"
Matt raised an eyebrow, and wrapped his arms around Mello. "Good job, Mellsy."
"You're shirt is so cold and wet, Matty."
"Why is his shirt soaking, anyway?"
Both of them looked up to see that Sasori and Deidara had returned; the blonde looking pretty smug. Mello answered for Matt.
"I got cum on his shirt and he had to wash it in the bathroom sink to get it off." Matt gave a dark red blush, and took a chocolate frog from Mello's tub, shoving it into the blond's mouth.
"Well where were you two?"
Deidara shrugged. "Behind the lanes having sex. Where else would we have been?"
Matt flailed his arms. "You're not supposed to tell us that! You're supposed to make up some complex lie which is obviously a lie!"
"…Fine then, we were looking for gold on the moon, un."
Sasori rolled his eyes, but when both Deidara and Mello weren't looking, he and Matt bumped fists in approval. Red headed semes only!
End of the game-
Blondie- 1'1 + 1'1 + 1'3 + 3'3 + 4'3 + X + X + X + X + XXX = 171
Master- (8)/ + (8)/ + (8)/ + X + 9/ + 2'- + X + 5'1 + 7'2 + X'8'1 = 140
Matt- X + X + X + X + X + X + X + X + X + XX'9 = 299
Brat- -'- + -'- + -'- + -'- + -'- + X + -'- + -'- + -'- + -'- = 10
Mello cheered. "I WON! I'M NUMBER ONE!"
"No way, un! I won! Don't you know that it is the lowest score that wins?"
"IT DOES NOT!"
Both blonds started screaming at each other childishly. Matt raised an eyebrow at Sasori. "Should we tell them?" Sasori gave a shrug.
"Na. Let's go play on the arcade machines."
They went to the arcade area, and after spending 3 minutes and $3 there they had already won a total of over 9000 tickets. Yeah, that's right…IT'S OVER 9000!
"Hey…" Matt frowned at the other red head. "Why did we go bowling again?"
"I think because it was my birthday yesterday…" The puppet gave a shrug.
"…Oh, well Happy Birthday."
"How old are you anyway?"
"Oh well that's- Wait…WHAT THE SNORLAX?" The gamer gaped at the red head, completely shocked. "AND DEIDARA IS 20?"
Matt held up his hand. "That deserves a high-five, Mr Cradle-Snatcher." Sasori rolled his eyes and instead of hitting the gamer's hand, he slapped his across the face. Matt, stunned, took his goggles off. Without another word, he walked back to the blonds.
They had actually stopped arguing somehow. Mello gave Matt an odd look. "Why are you crying?"
The red head gave a sniffle. "I got scolded." The blond rolled his eyes and began to pat the puppy-like red head.
Deidara walked off to go find his partner. He found Sasori curled up in a corner, a dark cloud above his head. "…I'm not a Cradle-Snatcher…" The blonde gave an unamused expression, and looked between the depressed red head and the crying gamer, then back to his love. Deidara face-palmed, shaking his head.
"Of course you're not a Cradle-Snatcher, Danna, un." Deidara kneeled next to his boyfriend, giving a wide grin. "I'm the one that's Robbing the Grave!"
"…" The gloom around Sasori intensified. "Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better…"
"Come on, Danna, let's go home." … "We can make cookies?" Sasori shook his head slowly. "…We can go to the park?" Head shake. "We can have sex?" The puppet gave a slow nod. "Okay then Danna, let's go home and have sex."
"We're gonna go home, too."
Deidara looked to see a still pouting Matt clinging on to an almost irked blond. "Okay, un."
"Mello…" Matt looked terrified. "That Metapod is giving me a weird look…" He pointed at thin air.
And so with that, they left the AMF Bowling Centre (much to everyone's relief). The couples said goodbye and headed to their cars. Neither Matt nor Sasori caught the wink between Deidara and Mello.
Plan 'Sex at the Bowling Alley with smexi Red Heads' = Success
So the moral of the story is (insert inspiring comment here) and don't forget, that Blonds have more fun, especially when they are around sexy red heads…Oh, And that it is apparently hard to bowl with mouths on your hands.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR YESTERDAY, SASORI DANNA!
Darn, that's The End!