Disclaimer: I don't own any of this – though I think Q spends more time with me now than he does with the Paraborg. DS and company own House. There are only spoilers for the current newest episode – don't read if you don't wanna know. *sigh* Is any one else paranoid cause we haven't *seen* any of the scenes that got leaked? Why am I projecting a 'friendly' break up where House is going to be more hurt than ever? Am I just paranoid or …
*sigh* Ah well, since Q is my muse for all series – I know I will prevail – but he demanded to be allowed to play in person. I think he has the hots for Cuddles.
"Wakey wakey, princess…" The strange male voice combined with weight that shouldn't be on her bed (not since she'd sent House back to his apartment while she thought about things after his lie). "Oh come on now… This isn't my normal gig… I'm an omnipotent being – not a relationship counsellor." He shook his head and took a sip from his coffee mug. "I even got you a babysitter for the day… Two for the price of one actually. Junior and Kathy have your cute little mogwai." His nose wrinkled in exactly the same way that House's did when he had to deal with Rachel. "Oh, don't sell your little squaller short… Dr. House has far more fuzzy feelings about the little rodent than I do."
"Who the hell are you?" Cuddy shot up and pulled the blanket tighter around her. "And what psych ward did you break out of so that House could hire you? And we don't need a relationship counsellor… And where the hell is Rachel?"
Q rolled his eyes. "In order, since you humans are such linear beings… I am Q. I am an omnipotent being. Here – some nice, non-dangerous, non-borg proof…" He snapped his fingers and another mug of coffee appeared in Cuddy's hands.
She jumped, spilling a drop and hissing slightly at the burn. "I have to be dreaming."
"If that will let us get on with this… I don't have all millennia… Well I do, I just wouldn't waste it on you." Q took another sip.
"Bye all means don't let me keep you…" Cuddy gestured as she hoped that she'd wake up, or he'd go away, or something.
"Not that simple…" Q deflated. "I lost a bet to Neanderthal boy and now I have to pay up." He smirked. "He meant me to do a nice thing for Red, because I don't like Red, but all he said was that I had to help a female, human, highly intelligent, caring, single mother, administrator / doctor. So of all the females I could have helped – you were the least boring."
"I must be missing House…" Cuddy mumbled against her mug and took a sip of the coffee and finding it delicious took another drink.
"I've gotten much better at coffee since Kathy joined the continuum…" Q said proudly. "Now where I'm from… well that's the Q-continuum. Your male friend – who I must say, if I were him … he's quite clever for one of your species … I would have stayed on the drugs. This place must be horribly dreary without them."
Cuddy just rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the creature. Having come to the conclusion that this was a dream, an odd dream, but a dream none the less, she wasn't so concerned about Rachel any longer.
"… In any case, you do need a relationship counsellor since you're considering breaking up with him for a ridiculous reason."
"It's not ridiculous he lied to me…" Cuddy said, shooting a glare at the man on her bed.
Q sighed. "First off, let's start off from the beginning… You hired him to do what?"
"Cure people no one else can… He's the best. I got him for cheap." Cuddy rolled her eyes feeling stupid talking to this manifestation of her subconscious.
"Right… Now, I'm betting his methods aren't very nice… Doesn't say please or thank you… Leads people around by the nose and beats them with verbal sticks until they turn on a light bulb and get it?" Q said with admiration in his voice. It did remind him of his own tactics in the past.
Cuddy nodded slowly. "And you let him do this because…" Q gestured.
"Because it works…"
"And in the past, has he lied to you to ... get the job done as it were." Q probed.
"Yes…" She had a sinking feeling where this was going.
"Did you fire him for it? Did you stop being friends with him for it? Did you censure him?" Cuddy shook her head slowly. "So what's changed…"
"We're involved." Cuddy said insistently. "I thought he respected me…"
"Do you lie to your mother?" Q asked, knowing full well since he'd picked it up from her mind.
"Since I was thirteen…" Cuddy admitted. "But …"
Q cut her off. "Do you still lie to your mother?"
"It's an accepted practice…" Cuddy scowled.
"I'm certain it is… Gretchen still takes a willow branch to Kathy's bottom – it's very amusing." Q grinned. "Let's look at this from another direction… Was he wrong?"
"No…" Cuddy admitted. "But…"
"Could he have gotten the proof you demanded?" Q said reasonably as he took another sip of coffee.
"No…" Cuddy admitted once more when she'd had a chance to really think about it.
"So in order for him to function, in the manner you need him to – it seems to me, you need to accept a bit of … creative truth." He held up his hand. "Now, I am married and my wife trusts me enough to allow me to have my female best friend and former crush running about with me… So I do understand that lying isn't always the best policy."
"From your lips…" Mrs. Q appeared in a bright flash of light that had the Doctor covering her eyes. "Don't tell me you've found another one…"
"No, no… Just settling a debt." Q grinned, "Dr. Cuddy this is my wife, Q. Q this is Dr. Cuddy."
"Nice to meet you…" Cuddy looked at the regal looking woman with wide eyes.
"You too…" Mrs. Q sighed. "And don't believe a thing he tells you about being reformed… But Q…" She looked at him with restrained affection. "Is Q… I wouldn't have become his wife, or created Junior with him, if he wasn't him."
Cuddy couldn't help but smile slightly. Maybe House's crazy had rubbed off on her.
"Oh hush, woman… I was about to make a suggestion." Q scowled at his wife.
"By all means… This should be amusing." Mrs. Q winked conspiratorially at Cuddy.
"My suggestion is this… Accept that House will lie to you in order to function at work. Ask him to … avoid it as much as possible, which I'm certain he will. He did not do so lightly – I think you know that." Q paused. "However if he lies to you on a griseous personal matter, I promise my wife will come and help you plot and carry out horrible retribution against him."
"I'll bring Kathryn – we'll turn it into a girl's day…" Mrs. Q added as she grinned ferally.
"And that frightens even me." Q shuddered a bit. "Fair enough? Stop torturing yourself and him, alright."
A weight Cuddy hadn't fully realized was there had lifted, and she nodded at the strange man in agreement with a bright smile.
"Now I see why he is so taken with you." He snapped his fingers and both their mugs disappeared. "Now back to sleep, Princess."
As Cuddy settled back into the pillows and closed her eyes, she could hear faintly. "Now, you have to back me up with Captain Riker that I carried out my forfeit."
Cuddy woke up in a start. "That was the weirdest…" She shot out of bed to check on Rachel and breathed a sigh of relief that her little girl was there sound asleep.
"I shouldn't have had House's left over pizza…" Cuddy rumbled as she made her way to the kitchen. As she put on her morning coffee, she sighed. "House should have been here to have his damn pizza." The resolve that she'd found in the dream had stayed – she'd find a way to live with his professional lies and hope they never filtered into their private life.