Sooooo fuckin' Megamind rocked.


This was supposed to be series of three oneshots, but I said 'screw it' and decided to give them all a common theme and weave them together. Hopefully it worked.


She was amazed to think he had never slept in a real bed before. She didn't quite understand HOW that had happened, but when she'd left him alone for two seconds... She was just struck speechless to find out he'd never had a bed.

She'd taken him back to her place after the battle, they'd fought through the crowd to her apartment complex and sat him on her bed so she could assess the damage. He was covered in dark, vicious looking bruises, and she was certain that, even if they weren't broken, his ribs weren't faring well. She'd disappeared for all of two minutes to find the gauze and medical tape to wrap up his chest, and when she came back he was curled up in the foetal position, sleeping. Not passed out, not fainted, no, sleeping, a light snore emanating from his throat.

"He's never had a bed," Minion explained from the fishbowl that currently occupied her bedside table.


"I don't think Prison beds count, and the lair only has an old couch."

She was suddenly struck by how little she really knew of Megamind. She'd known him for years, and while she'd learned a lot about the man behind the cape the last few weeks, she certainly didn't know his history. Didn't know the extent of that big head of his. What kind of kid was deprived of a bed his whole life?

Yep. Totally speechless.

It made her wonder if he'd been made bad, just as he had been made a hero.

So she quietly tucked him into her bed, smiling wryly when he snuggled up with a pillow and mumbled something about thanking Minion.

Said fish smiled. "If you don't take care of him, I'll find the Forget-me-Stick."

Roxanne Ritchi decided, right then and there, that she wanted to know everything about Megamind.

It was strange to think of him as a constant in her life.

Well, no, that's not entirely true, he'd been a constant in her life since she'd first gotten airtime on KMCP 8.

The right thing to say would be that it was strange to have him as a POSITIVE constant in her life.

And such a constant he ended up being.

The man had been, for all intents and purposes, alone his entire life. He'd grown up in Prison, she came to find, with nobody except a handfull of ruthless criminals and a sentient fish who originally only spoke his home language.

The night before the unveiling of the 'Megamind Museum of Science and Rock and Roll', he sat in her apartment while she introduced to him the wonders of deep dish Pizza, and he told her everything. From the first memory he had, of his parents placing him in the space pod to Earth, up to his defeat of Tighten. He spared no details, bared himself to her while he sat on her red carpet, crosslegged and letting his pizza go cold.

In the time between his defeat of Tighten and this moment in time, they'd spent just about every day together. He'd spent the last several months making up for his wrongdoings, paying back the city by cleaning up the streets, using his inventions to keep them safe and clean. He gave back as much as he could, and did his best not to dehydrate anyone who came up to thank him. They'd had dinner together on more than one occasion, but nothing had really come of any of their time together. But here he was, putting it all out on the open in an apology to her.

And because once again learning something about him had rendered her speechless, she kissed him, for the first time since their date when he was Bernard. It was soft, and she held his face in her hands while she pressed her lips to his. It was chaste, sweet, gentle- trying to fit in how sorry she felt for how he'd grown up, and how she completely forgave him for everything. How she had looked back a second time, when she'd returned to her apartment and stared out the window for what felt like hours.

They'd neglected talking about the whole thing because he had the social skills of a toothpick and she was still hurt over him tricking her. But he so clearly just wanted to be a part of her life that she couldn't stay mad, even the tiniest bit.

And after they'd watched some cartoons (because he had never really been a child and she liked pretending she was for a night) they fell asleep watching Dexter's Lab reruns with his arm curled tightly around her shoulders, like he was afraid she'd disappear in the night. Gently, she prised his fingers off her shoulder and laced hers through them, curling into his side. She found herself feeling happier than she had in a long time, and was especially glad that they were both on the same page now.

"Speech? I didn't know there was supposed to be a speech! I don't have a single monologue prepared- Minion did you- no?"

There were marks on his face from where he'd dragged his spidery fingers down his cheeks in discontent, and he was pacing back and forth behind the brick wall.

"It was sort of expected, Sir."

"Expected! Code: do they really think I've DONE this sort of this before?"

Minion shrugged as he clambored into the giant robot. "Just wing it, sir, you're great at monologuing!"

"I'm good at EVIL monologues, Minion, not... not grateful ones." the former-villain stroked his chin in fretful contemplation. "I'm... less good at those."

Roxanne appeared from around the pristine white brick. "You almost ready back here?"

Megamind shook his head. "No, I have no speech prepared, no monologue, not even a report! Nor even an Esseye!"

"Essay? What, the thankyou speech?"

"I have none! I'm SPEECHLESS!"

He returned to pacing frantically.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down a minute there, don't get your heroic panties in a twist there." Roxy smirked, taking him by the shoulders and patting his cheek. "Just say what comes to mind, how you feel. You'll be fine, just don't worry so much."

"But-" he looked both ways briefly, then lowered his voice to a whisper. "What if I say something... stupid? What if... what if they laugh?"

Roxy smiled, and planted a soft kiss on his chin, liking the tickle of skinny little beard. "Sweetie, if they laugh, it won't be because you said something stupid. Like I said, just say what comes from here," she placed her fingertips on his chest, over the solid pounding of his heart.

"My left ventricle?"

"No, your heart. Just... say what you feel, I'll be here the whole time."

"Right, right... Of course."

They'd handed him a Microphone. He tapped on it once or twice, debating on what he should say. He hadn't been able to think of anything, and now the whole darn city was standing there.


For him.

To speak.

Annnnd his mind had gone blank. What did one say to the city one had annually harassed and irritated for nearly two decades?

The world slowed- probably due to stress and maybe a blip in the stream of coherent thought- and he looked out on the sea of faces in front of him.

They weren't judging him, he was surprised to find. They just looked... curious.

Curious. He could handle curious. Easy. No problem.

"Um... Oll- Hello. I suppose the first thing I should address is..."

He stopped again. That sounded wrong. He strained his ears, trying to listen to his 'heart' as Roxy had told him to. All he heard was a frantic pounding.

And then it hit him.

"I am so sorry- for everything I did to this city. I am sorry for the graffiti, I am sorry for the burglary, I am sorry for heckling your elected officials, the property damage, blasting loud music at obscenely early hours, the grand theft auto, the kidnapping, the larceny, the threats to the general populace, destroying your beloved hero, creating a new hero and him becoming a villain, I am sorry for everything bad I have ever done to you and this city.

The truth is... I love this city. I have wanted, since I arrived here, to be a part of it. I suppose I... I went about integrating myself into society in the wrong manner. I thought evil was my only choice of path in life... but a very nosy reporter, and a good-two-shoes recently showed me that, that I have a choice. And it's about time that I started choosing my own way.

So, thankyou for this Museum. Having a whole Museum, for me is not something I ever expected. I'm incredibly grateful. And though I know I haven't finished repaying my debt for all the wrong I've done this city, it's possible I never will be finished, I can guarantee you that I will do everything I can to make this city great, and to make up for everything I've done, and to repay you for this magnificent Museum!"

There was a beat as the audience soaked this in.

And they erupted into the loudest cheer that Megamind had ever heard. The crowd surged forward, screaming their appreciation and forgiveness.

For the first time in his life, the great Megamind was speechless.

Roxanne smiled as one by one, people came up to shake his hand, and Megamind sheepishly accepted all the thanks from each individual citizen.

She could see his ears twitching a little, eyes flicking from face to face, mouthing each name heard quietly.

He was learning their names. He was memorising all of them. Metroman had never done that.

For a third time, Roxanne was speechless when it came to Megamind.