Disclaimer: All characters are owned by people that aren't me.

Author's Note: This story was written in response to a challenge at trueblood_las on livejournal. The challenge was "And suddenly I'm naked again."

"Eric!" Sookie screamed.

"Yes, my lover?" Eric asked, appearing behind her to speak in her ear.

Sookie shrieked and leaped away from him. When her heart managed to get under control again, she turned around to look at the vampire. She put her hands on her hips and tried to look as dignified as she possibly could in her bra and underwear. "You know I hate it when you do that."

The Viking didn't even bother to hide his grin. "If you'd allow me to turn you, I would have a much harder time sneaking up on you."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I've got a million logical factors to consider, but I'm sure that's the one that's going to make my decision for me." Before Eric's lecherous gaze could distract her, she went on with the reason she'd called him down in the first place. "I didn't agree to keep some of my clothes here so that they could all disappear."

Eric looked in the closet. "I still see your clothes here," he replied, the very picture of innocence.

"Yes, my lingerie, tight tops, and short skirts seem to have survived the purge. But where's that shirt I like to sleep in?"

Eric reached into the closet and pulled out a deep purple nightie. It had fur trim and left nothing to the imagination. He held it up for her, one eyebrow raised. He looked hopeful.

"No," Sookie said bluntly. "Give me my clothes back."

"But I didn't take them."

Sookie wanted to roll her eyes again, but she was afraid her face would get stuck that way if she followed that urge every time Eric was this absurd. "Fine. Then tell Pam to give my clothes back."

He smiled. "I could try. But when she took them, she swore up and down they'd never see sunlight again."

"A lot like the two of you that way." Sookie paused. "Does that mean I can only get my clothes back if you turn me? Because this is getting ridiculous, Eric."

He laughed, a deep belly laugh that shook his whole body. "No, dear Sookie, it means that Pam objects to dresses that make you look like a tablecloth. At least, that's what she said when she took them."

With a sigh, Sookie walked into the closet, hoping to find something to wear that wouldn't make her feel like a hooker. Or a Fangtasia employee. "I'm never going to see those clothes again, am I?"

The lecherous grin returned to Eric's face. "I'd be willing to negotiate on your behalf. If you could give me adequate reason to." He held up the nightie again suggestively.

Sookie stuck her head out of the closet to look at the clock, doing some quick math in her head. Technically, she could spare enough time before heading back to Bon Temps.

"I'm having dinner with Jason in an hour and a half. We've got time...but if you really want to appreciate that...thing you're holding...it may have to wait until next time."

Before Sookie could count to three, Eric had dropped the nightie, her bra and underwear had disappeared with a quick ripping sound, and she found herself in Eric's bed.