Author's Note: Based on a parody of the internet meme "Don't watch an anime called Boku".
Don't play a game called Civilization.
Man, this s*** is so wrong in so many motherf***ing levels, yo... I was talking to one of my best friends and he sent me a CD with the name only labeled "Civilization"; I said to this dude, "What's this s***?" He just giggled and said "Just play it, and make sure nothing's on your time when you're playing it!" Then I thought it was some weird porno or some strange s*** but as I pressed the start button, I was like "Yo... what the f***…" THEN I CONTINUED and I was like "Yooooooooooo..." THEN IT GOT TO THE F***ING MIDDLE AGES AND THEN I SAID "YYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I couldn't f***ing believe when I was now; it was like I'd gotten a time machine from Satan and time-warped into the future… YET I COULDN'T STOP PLAYING IT!
Then I played it on a bigger map… AND THERE'S MORE OF THEM! There's more… YOOOOOOO… There's more… AND THOSE FELLAS ALLIED AND THEY YYYYYOOOOOOOOOO... THEN THEY SICCED ON MY OWN CIVILIZATION AND THEN YYYYYOOOOOOOOO... It was like I wanted a peaceful victory but they wanted to do just world domination and it was so f***ed up and creepy but you just… kept playing it… AND THAT'S WHAT I F***ING DID!
Then I played it on the biggest map... TWELVE ENEMIES... TWWEEELLLVVVEEEE! IT... WAS... TTTWWWEEEELLLLVVVVEEEEE! TWWEELLVVEE! And Gandhi was his name fellas, Gandhi was his motherf***ing name! Oh my god, I ain't going to get a job fellas; I already SOLD MY SOUL TO SID MEIER!
So I just want to tell you all right now... DON'T PLAY A GAME CALLED CIVILIZATION, DON'T DO IT FELLA, IT'S LIKE TIME MACHINE. REMEMBER WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU FELLAS!