Nude on The Moon

Ninnik Nishukan

Summary: Her boyfriend is an alien. This may or may not be a big problem. Mature subjects, nothing too explicit. Spoilers, ahoy!

Author's notes at the bottom of the page as usual, including all references and word explanations. Please let me know if any words seem to be missing from any sentences, as FF Net has a tendency to erase stuff sometimes. I also had no beta reader, so nitpicks are appreciated.

"The best thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself."

As Good As It Gets (Gracie Films, 1997)

She'd only just gotten home from work, hung up her coat and kicked off her shoes when she heard the knock on the door. Normally she'd be annoyed to get a visitor at a time like this, but she'd hurried home after her overtime work was done because this guest was expected.

"Roxanne!" Came the familiar, exhilarated voice through the door. "I'm here! Let me in, you'll like this! I've taught this brainbot how to carry your camera and film for you and everything!"

Opening the door, she grinned uncertainly at Megamind and the glowing brainbot that circled around his head. "Yeah, that's great, but I doubt my new cameraman's gonna appreciate losing his job."

Megamind's face fell immediately.

"But I'm sure it'll be handy for those hard-to-reach reporting scenes, you know?" She quickly amended.

His eyes lit up again, his mind racing. "Right! And you can do cool bird's eye view perspective shots and frog's eye view perspective shots— oh, you'll look fantastic!"

She smiled, irresistibly taken with his enthusiasm. "Please come in," she said, gesturing at her cozy, but small apartment.

Grinning back at her, he stepped inside, the brainbot hovering after him, a heavy camera in tow. "Isn't it awesome? It's filming you right now!"

Roxanne pushed a hand through her hair, growing abashed. "Ugh, but I just came home from work! I'm a total mess!"

Megamind chuckled. "Oho! What do we have here? Star reporter Roxanne Ritchi's camera shy?"

"No, I just don't like bringing my work home with me," Roxanne shot back, sticking her tongue out at the camera.

"Spoilsport," he grouched, but a second later, the smile was back on his face. "You always look fabulous."

"Sure, Valentino." Kissing his lips briefly, she smiled at him before walking over to all the pieces of Hal-related paper hanging suspended from her ceiling. "I just gotta clear these away, I'm tired of looking at them."

Megamind leaned against a wall, waiting and trying to appear suave regardless of the fact that her spontaneous kisses continued to make him feel like a silly cartoon character getting hit in the face by a brick. "Why are they still up, anyway?"

"Well, it's been sorta busy here lately, in case you haven't noticed," she shot him a grin as she started snatching down one piece of paper after another and chucking them in the waste paper basket. "Between you becoming the new hero, with all your new projects, like cleaning up the city for real this time, and all the questions we've had to answer and all the interviews I've had to do and all the articles I've had to write— well, cleaning my apartment hasn't exactly been my top priority." She paused to crumple up a particularly big sheet of paper. "And then of course there's been…us."

Megamind smile softened. "Yes, that's…new."

She threw him a warm glance in agreement before she went to work on getting rid of the last scraps of paper.

"So where are we going tonight?" Megamind asked distractedly as he watched the brainbot do little loops in the air with the camera.

Roxanne's gaze darted to her boyfriend's face and back to the now full waste paper basket. "Actually, um, I haven't made any plans. I was sort of hoping we could have a little talk."

He tensed up immediately, pushing himself up from leaning on the wall and scanning her odd expression with his gaze. "What kind of talk?"

She bit her lip. "It's just something I need to ask you."

"Okay," he agreed quickly, trying to cover up his short burst of paranoia. He knew she could tell his thoughts had inevitably gone to that rainy night she'd dumped him after finding out about his deceit. He turned to the brainbot. "Sweetie, you fly on home to Daddy's lair, okay? The grown-ups need to talk."

Roxanne squelched a chuckle as she opened a window for the brainbot to leave through. Megamind treated those things like they were puppies or kids. "Say hello to Minion for me!" She called after it.

When the brainbot was gone, Megamind turned expectantly to his girlfriend. "What did you want to talk about?"

Running a hand through her hair and looking everywhere but at him, she knew she was stalling; not sure where to begin. "Ehm…it's just…yesterday, I kinda had a weird thought. I wasn't going to bring it up, but I couldn't get it out of my head."

He rubbed his hands together with glee. "Ooh, I like weird thoughts— I mean, what was it?"

She began pacing. "I'm just wondering…since you're not exactly from Earth and all, can we be sure that we're even, you know…anatomically compatible?"

For some reason, however, the usually talkative scientist didn't answer.

When she turned back around, he was glaring at her, looking deeply offended.

"What?" She asked timidly.

"It's the giant blue head, isn't it?" He accused gruffly. "So you just assume that I've— I've got tentacles or sea urchins growing out of my nether regions or something!"

She frowned, already uncomfortable and starting to feel slightly guilty when she caught the hurt tone in his voice. She was suddenly reminded of Megamind posing as Bernard, telling her how the other children hadn't liked him. Did he still feel like an outcast? Was she only making that worse?

She tried to start over: "I was just—I didn't mean— look, you are from another planet, so I just wondered—"

"I'm sure you've never 'wondered' about Metro Man!" He went on, louder and radiating wounded pride. "I'm sure you never even thought to ask! Oh, he looks just like you humans, so you all forget so easily that he's just as alien as I am! I know all the girls think he's H-O-T, hot! I'm sure none of them even question the state of his reproductive organs or his virility!"

Now she was starting to get frustrated. "No one's questioning anybody's virility! I'm just trying to find out if it's even going to be possible for me to have sex with my boyfriend one day, that's all!"

His mouth snapped shut, and he goggled at her, stunned, before dropping down onto the nearest chair. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," she said pointedly, before letting out a sigh: "And I'm not gonna be the kinda girl who criticizes other guys just to make her boyfriend feel more manly, especially since Metro Man's my friend, but—"

He leaned forward, trying and failing to hide his eager curiosity. "…buuuut?"

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "But I'm sure I'm not the only woman in this city who has a few second thoughts about sleeping with somebody who can shoot lasers out of their eyes and crush a car with their bare hands, you know?"

Megamind sat back. "Oh."


"I never thought of it like that."

She nodded, a lopsided grin flitting across her face. "I guess we women have a different perspective on things sometimes."

Clearing his throat, he shot her a worried glance. "But you're still freaked out about the alien issue even though I'm not going to melt your face with my eye lasers or anything?"

How did my life get to the point where I have to handle these sorts of questions on a daily basis? She wondered to herself, her head spinning. "I'm not freaked out, I never said 'freaked out'— I'm more like…concerned," she settled on, flailing for an appropriate word.

"Okay," he began, his voice breaking slightly, "if you're so concerned, why don't you take a look?"

She froze. "What?"

He stood up abruptly. "Well, you obviously suspect it's like The Call of Cthulhu or something down there, so why don't you go ahead and satisfy your morbid curiosity?" He challenged in a strained voice, his lips pursing. This was probably one of the stupidest, most impulsive ideas he'd ever had, but now that the words were out of his mouth, he felt unable to take them back. No matter how nerve-wracking this was going to be, and despite the possibly disastrous outcome. For some reason, he just couldn't seem to stop himself around her. He kept on making one foolish decision after the other, kept on practically ripping his own heart out and showing it to her, hoping against all odds that she wouldn't be afraid or disgusted.

Disoriented and alarmed, Roxanne leapt on the only safe subject. "Okay, how is it that you can pronounce Cthulhu when practically nobody else can, but you have trouble pronouncing the name of the city you've lived in all your life?"

To her further astonishment, he ignored her comment and started fumbling with the waistline of his pants.

She forced down the spluttered string of nonsense words that threatened to escape her mouth.

"Well, come on, newsie," he dared her, pulling the front of his pants out from his body, even though he knew he looked and sounded absolutely terrified. "You're supposed to be so tough, right?"

Despite the fact that she couldn't see anything yet from where she was standing, he noticed her face was flushing bright red. He wished he knew if that was a good sign or a bad sign.

His chest was heaving gently with the nervousness he was clearly attempting to hide, and his eyes were wide, his mouth a tight line and his nostrils flaring, yet he was still standing there, waiting for her, confronting her.

He just kept…throwing himself out there, into the path of potential rejection, getting up again and again. He was so sincerely desperate for love and approval that it could be quite intimidating and unsettling, yet also deeply touching and fascinating. She wondered now if she'd ever noticed it before, if that was why she'd allowed their hostage situation talk to become banter, to become almost friendly even— or if it really was just because she'd been trying to get through an exasperating routine.

Sometimes, though, she'd laugh to herself over something he'd said or done when she came home after another night of Good VS Evil.

Look at me, look at me, every cell in his body always seemed to say. She'd stopped being scared of him a long, long time ago. Sometimes she'd wondered how old he was. He couldn't be older than herself.

Look at me, he was begging, demanding now…so in the heavy silence, she closed the red curtains across the large windows of her living room, took a few nervous steps towards her boyfriend, and looked.

Carefully, she studied his face for a moment before she seemed to understand from the defiant, yet shaken facial expression he was failing to suppress that he'd rather she just got it over with. He gulped as she let her eyes wander downwards, across his chest and stomach until she reached the small patch of blue skin where he was holding up his tight sweater a little. Then she got to the trembling hand— why couldn't he stop trembling?— that was stretching the front of his pants out from his body. Here she paused for a second before leaning slightly forward— he heard himself exhale and inhale a few times in shallow, nervous puffs of air, felt his stomach quiver— and then she gazed down.

He disrupted the awful stretch of silence when he couldn't keep from shuffling his feet uneasily.

She let out an almost inaudible breath, still watching him.

Thankfully, he wasn't freakishly huge— not that anything much above average size could fit in those tight leather pants, anyway— and aside from the inevitable blueness, he pretty much…well, to her, he looked how he should look.

Which meant they could

She swallowed, straightening her back and moving away from him just slightly. So far, everything between them had been so oddly…sweet and innocent. Of course, they hadn't been together long, but still…he just hadn't even hinted that he wanted to take it to the next level. So much so, in fact, that she'd been floating in some kind of weird, candy floss daze where everything was soft and safe and she was basking in the intense happiness and blindsided fondness emanating from the person she'd suddenly made not alone anymore.

For goodness' sake, he hadn't even started taking the initiative to hug her yet!

And then he went, unblinkingly and honestly, and did something like this. She could never have…

And now a whole other layer was added to their relationship. Some kind of tension that had probably always been there, but had been ignored, forgotten or never discovered in the first place.

And he was waiting for her reaction.

"…well?" He asked breathlessly. Why was her expression so strange? Why wasn't she saying anything? Had she gone into shock? Was he that grotesque?

Her throat felt dry. "It's, uh…nice."

He looked horrified. "Nice? What does that mean?"

She cringed. "No, I mean, it's very— it's not— you're not—" She was babbling now, she realized.

And it was making him panic. "I-I'm not what? Normal?" He insisted, gesturing wildly, which made him drop the grip he had on his pants. The pants snapped back with a loud SWAT!, smacking him painfully on his abdomen. Wincing and biting back a yelp, he took a step back. "A-am I freaking you out?"

She huffed, trying to gather her thoughts. "It's not gonna be a problem, is what I'm trying to say here," she told him firmly.

He swallowed, still not appeased. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure," she smiled, cheeks rather pink. "Maybe you shouldn't wear leather and PVC pants so often, though. They're not exactly fabrics that breathe. I've read it can kill sperm cells."

His eyebrows shot up. "It can?"

She shrugged. "That's what I've read, anyway."

He gave her a long, undecipherable look, before asking slowly: "Wait...are you saying you want us to reproduce?"

She choked back a shocked cough, staring at him. "Uhm…no, Megamind, we've only been dating for three weeks, so that's— that's way too early to even be thinking about!"

"But you said—"

"I was just, you know, lookin' out for you or something," she tried to explain.

He threw his hands up defensively. "Okay, okay, only trying to unlock the many mysteries of the female mind over here!"

This made her giggle for some reason, and the melodious sound in turn made him feel better. He liked hearing her laugh. Wasn't that what women did when they were enjoying the company of their partner? Didn't that mean he was being charming somehow?

Another thought popped up in his mind, unwelcome.

Had other men also made her giggle? They probably had, hadn't they? She was beautiful, smart and outgoing, and she seemed worldly and experienced, at least to him.

"Roxanne?" He asked reluctantly. "Have you had any other boyfriends?"

Her giggles trickled away. "Well," she began, looking pensive, "I did go to college, and before I was promoted and got really busy and before I started being a professional damsel in distress—"

—she had to get that dig in, and he actually had the good grace to look ashamed—

"—I did go out more and stuff, so I guess you could say there have been one or two guys, yeah."

"Where are they now?" He asked, fixing a moody gaze on her. He wasn't particularly enjoying the subject matter, yet he had the urge to know.

She gave him a quirky glance, and he thought she looked as if she was silently asking him if he was planning on doing something evil to them if they happened to live nearby. "Oh, you know, people grow apart, they move apart, or they meet someone else, or their job gets in the way, or sometimes it's really nothing more than a fling," she explained, shrugging. "It's just what happens."

His eyebrows knit together in apprehension. "Is…is this a fling?"

Her laugh was incredulous. "Yeah, because deciding to start dating your formerly evil kidnapper, oh, that's just a spur of the moment decision. Just a casual summer fling."

Megamind scowled at her. "Is that tzar-chasm?"

"How could you tell?" She grinned.

He grumbled under his breath, but then he threw himself into the difficult discussion once more. "Um, so…I know you said you and Metro Man were never a couple, but did you two really never even—?"

Roxanne seemed genuinely surprised at the question. "Huh? No, we—"

"But all those times he saved your life— I mean, don't people tend to get a little, uh, overwhelmed and grateful and swept up in the moment? Not to mention he looks like a Charles Atlas rock hero daredevil underwear commercial or whatever. Didn't it create some sort of sexual tension?" He pressed, adding: "It always seems to in the comic books, anyway."

Roxanne scoffed. "Yeah, well, this isn't a comic book, and when you think about it, that whole bringing me to your dark, secret lairs, tying me up and bantering with me smells much more like fetish fuel."

"Fetish fuel?" Megamind asked, bemused. "Is that some kind of new rocket fuel? I didn't see that in the catalogue…"

Roxanne squirmed a bit; sometimes it was sort of taxing to have to explain so much. "Uh, no, I mean— it's kinda, um, kinky. If I was a weaker personality and you were more sinister and evil, I'm sure you might've manipulated the whole thing into some strange sorta Stockholm syndrome scenario—" she paused, a grin quirking her lips. "Heh, try saying that ten times fast."

He blinked at her, flabbergasted. "What?"

She shook her head, grinning. "Nothing. Bottom line: Me and Metro never even kissed."

He suddenly felt as elated as a small boy with a new puppy. "So there wasn't any truth to all those rumors?"

She chuckled. "Nope. Sometimes I felt like we were each others' beards or something, you know? Could be useful, though, since we both had such demanding jobs, and since those jobs put us in the spotlight so much— which pretty much automatically gives you stalkers."

He shot her a confused look. "Beards?"

"You can Google it later," she smirked.

He nodded slowly, now looking slightly preoccupied. "Roxanne?"


He drew a breath. "Did you ever see me as one of those…uh, stalkers?"

She tilted her head at him. "No, you never…well, you never tried anything, you know? You were all about challenging Metro Man, while I was pretty much just the convenient bait."

"You were more than just the bait to me," he whispered warmly, her answer calming him.

She shrugged. "Not at first."

"Well, no," he conceded, shrugging as well, "I mean, I didn't know you."

She bit her lip, still considering him. "For how long did you—?"

"I don't know, it sort of snuck up on me," he admitted, bashfully dropping his gaze from her face to her shoulder. "I don't think I really realized it until you started hanging out with…um, Bernard, but I must admit I had sort of a crush on you before."

She ducked her head, still not quite used to getting all this raw, direct personal information about him. "Yeah, I did get that vibe from you sometimes."

Megamind felt his face grow hot; she'd known! Oh, he must've let it slip so many times, he must've looked like such an idiot— maybe that was why she'd always been so laidback and smug about the whole thing— she probably didn't believe he'd ever harm a hair on her head.

He must've looked horrorstruck, because then she was putting a reassuring hand on his arm. "Look," she said softly, "it's not like I thought you were in love with me or anything, I just thought you were sort of attracted to me, you know— I mean, I didn't really get the impression you knew a lot of women, so I didn't exactly flatter myself or take it very seriously, I just…"

She was searching his face now, in a way that made him nervous. It wasn't that it was a cynical look, however; it was just…uncertain, curious and contemplative.

"Have you ever…uh, have you had sex before, Megamind?"

Now his neck felt uncomfortably hot as well. "O-of course!" He spluttered, spreading his arms in a boastful manner. "I mean, I'm incredibly intelligent, I'm totally rich, I'm devilishly handsome— why wouldn't the ladies want a piece of this?"

She narrowed her eyes with skepticism. "Which ladies?" She asked, at once hiding a cringe at her own disbelieving tone. For a moment, his self-indulgent speech put her right back in time, and she was once again demanding that he should impress her, once again calling him on his bragging— and she couldn't exactly do that now, especially not considering the intimate topic of their conversation. Everything was different now.

Megamind felt a pinch in his gut, like the time he'd had that bad seafood or the time that little girl in school had screamed when he'd tried to show her how his newly invented dehydrator worked. "Plenty of ladies, okay?" He blurted out, his jaw tightening. "All kinds of ladies!"

She back-pedaled. "Sorry, I didn't— it's just that you always liked to brag to me about everything, but you never mentioned any ladies—"

"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, alright?" He snapped, his voice going rather shrill. "You don't know me!"

Roxanne exhaled slowly, deciding to let it go. "Okay. Plenty of ladies." His defensiveness pretty much told her everything she needed to know, and she didn't have the heart to expose him.

He grabbed a chair and sat down, turning his back to her. "Plenty of ladies," he was mumbling now, refusing to look at her. "Plenty of ladies, on top of piles of money, with buckets of sham-pahgen…"

Her expression softening, she gingerly leaned forward to touch his back, but hesitated when his shoulders tensed up and he started talking again. "Well, it's not like— it wasn't as if— I mean, I'm the last of my species, and I was a wanted criminal for most of my life, and I was raised in a prison— it's not like you meet a lot of women when you have to hide from the law all the time!"

She gently cleared her throat. "So, um…you haven't…?"

His hands curled around his knees. "What was I supposed to do, make someone my 'prison bitch'?" He asked sarcastically.

She barked out a surprised laugh.


She shook her head, waving a hand. "Nothing, just…just realizing that even though you were a super villain, I rarely heard you be all that cynical or heard you use any strong language, so it's kinda jarring to—"

"Yes, well," he muttered, frowning at her in embarrassment, "I may have lived a sheltered life, but I do watch tel-eh-vicee-on."

She struggled to get the shocked giggles out of her system and finally succeeded. "Of course, you're right. Sorry."

He sighed, looking down at his hands. "You know, all those plentiful ladies could've just been one lady, and I wouldn't have complained."

This time, she did put a hand on his back, slowly stroking him. He felt himself shiver and lean into her touch eagerly, like a cat. He hoped she didn't notice, or at least didn't comment. After he'd taken on the persona of Bernard, he'd rediscovered how starved he was for affection. It scared him a little, made him afraid that Roxanne, whom had seemingly always seen right through him, would think he was a loser again now that he'd finally gotten in her good graces and had finally impressed her.

He'd more or less put away those emotional cravings after being rejected from the social circle at his old school house, and he had rather mixed emotions about their return.

"It doesn't matter if you don't have any experience, Megamind," she was telling him in a quiet, soothing tone now. He could hear her good intentions, but it only made him feel more helpless, more like he needed to prove himself.

Roxanne felt him tense up under her fingers, and leaned back, unsure of his next move.

He swiveled around on the chair, looking a bit wild-eyed. "B-but I know the science, of course! I know all about the mechanics—"

Insert tab A into slot B, huh? She thought, feeling somewhat lightheaded with puzzled mirth. Having this conversation with an alien who used to kidnap her on a regular basis felt admittedly bizarre; not to mention the sterile vocabulary he used to discuss it.

"I know about contraception," he went on, springing up from the chair and ticking off on his fingers whatever came to mind, "and, and the male refractory period and the functions of the klee-taww-rees, and um—"

She itched to correct his pronunciation, but a small laugh flew out of her, as if she was being tickled by his words. He had to have worked very hard to keep from blurting out mispronunciations when he'd been pretending to be her "normal" date Bernard. "Well, that last one's at least one advantage you have over a lot of guys," she told him with a wry smile.

His anxious frown melted away, and he lit up with an excited grin. "Really?"

She chuckled, feeling sort of flustered over how little she needed to say or do to propel him into near-euphoria. Not used to a positive feedback, indeed. "Yeah, some guys probably wouldn't even consider doing a simple Google search," she said, nodding, "they just think it's, uh—" Insert tab A into slot B, she stopped herself from saying, not sure he'd get the joke. "Anyway, I'm sure it'll be fine," she concluded, smiling at him. "Besides, we've been through a lot together, and you're a pretty inventive and smart guy, so we can figure it out together. It's not exactly rocket science."

His shoulders descended and his eyelids drooped dreamily as he took in the wonderful warmth in her voice. "Yes, with rocket science, I'd know what to do," he murmured absentmindedly, and was rewarded by her pleasant laughter again. It felt like some kind of hazy fantasy; a few weeks ago, she'd made it clear she'd never be with him, yet here they were, actually discussing the possibility of mating. It made him want to ask all sorts of foolishly brave questions.



He studied her profile intently. "Were you ever attracted to me? You know, before?"

She blinked. "Uhm, well…you did tend to inconvenience me a lot, 'cause it's sorta hard to plan a social life when you're constantly being abducted, but…I didn't hate you. The first time I basically saw an alien with a big, blue head, I gotta admit it was scary, though—"

"I remember," Megamind interjected wistfully, "even then you didn't scream, you just sort of gawked at me, and then you hit me over the head with your umbrella."

"Well, you deserved it," Roxanne laughed. "But then I guess I got used to you, and so I came to a point in my life where looking at a blue-skinned super villain's face became commonplace for me…and don't tell anybody," she added in mock-conspiracy, "but in certain lights and on certain days, I thought you were even kinda cute."

"Ah! So that's what they meant in that classic song I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face!" Megamind exclaimed triumphantly.

Roxanne raised an amused eyebrow. "I, uh…kiiinda doubt Loewe and Lerner had a member of an alien race in mind, but hey, whatever floats your boat."

He grinned widely. "If you truly thought I was kind of cute, that does indeed buoy my vehicle for water travel— that reminds me, I should build one, I only have land transportation." Something else entirely seemed to cross his mind, then. "Did I really ruin your social life?"

"Megamind, sometimes I felt like you and Minion and Metro Man were my social life," Roxanne admitted, sounding a tad exasperated. "I'm sure if I wasn't such a workaholic, I could've tried harder to squeeze in another social life in my daily schedule, but the only person I really met outside of interview subjects and so on was Hal, and yeah…you know what happened there." She put her head in her hand. "Sometimes I feel like I haven't had any real girlfriends to talk to since college. The only woman I talk to outside of my mom seems to be my personal assistant."

Megamind was aware that it was probably wrong on some level, but the thought that Roxanne Ritchi of all people might also have felt lonely made him feel better about himself. He smiled. "I liked having you for a social life."

Luckily, his comment seemed to cheer her up a bit. "Yeah, but I bet you like it even better now."

He felt himself flush. "Yes, it's…very…" He was trying to find the right words, and had to stop. When he finally spoke again, she was still waiting attentively. "It's exciting, and new and different and fun and it makes me feel very— like I can do— like you think I'm—" He hesitated, glancing shyly at her. "But sometimes it's also very…uh, intimidating. Sort of exhausting. Difficult. I've never— this is all such unchartered territory for me."

All of a sudden, she began to feel a chill in the pit of her stomach. "Is it too much for you?" She asked in a quiet voice.

He looked up sharply. "What? No, no, nothing like that, I just—" He fumbled with the hem of his cape for a moment before dropping it. "Is this normal? Or is just me? Was I supposed to be more prepared?"

She could tell her own expression was turning embarrassingly sappy, but she felt too relieved to care. "Oh, trust me, Megamind. It's more than normal."

He took a hopeful step closer. "So you also…?"

She nodded, reaching a hand out to stroke his cheek. "This is all pretty overwhelming for me, too."

Her emphatic smile made him feel warm, accepted, made him feel suddenly generous. He had to give her something. "I could probably build you a girlfriend," he offered, "you know, kind of like Minion?"

She tried to hide her grimace. "Yeah, let's…not go down that road. I think I prefer "making" friends on my own, okay?" She said, trying to alleviate her rejection of his suggestion.

Megamind pouted. "It doesn't have to be an alien fish-robot-gorilla."

Hiding her face in her hands, Roxanne started shaking with laughter. "Jeez!"

"It wasn't that bad of an idea!" He objected indignantly.

"No, it's not that!" She shook her head, removing her hands from her face, but unable to stop laughing. "I can't believe you just pulled down your pants and showed me! You have some real nerve, you know that?"

"Can't be a supervillain or a superhero without it, Roxanne!" He declared smugly. "And of course you had to look, you always were such a nosy reporter!"

She gasped with mirth. "Here I am, going on thirty-two and playing Doctor like a kid! I'm just glad you sent the brainbot home with the camera first!"

"I know!" He laughed, feeling silly right along with her. "And now you have to show me yours, Roxanne, because I showed you mine! Isn't that how it goes?" He added flippantly.

Her chuckles trailed off. She seemed to be scrutinizing him for some kind of nefarious purpose now. Megamind grew fidgety, and finally had to clear his throat.

"Okay," she said simply, giving his arm a quick, tender squeeze.

His eyebrows rose. "Okay, what?"

"It's only fair," she said, as if that explained everything. Then he realized she was walking towards her bedroom.

She smiled at him over her shoulder before disappearing through the doorway.

It dawned on him that she was in there waiting for him. In the one room in her apartment he'd never entered before.

On shaky legs and with a shaky breath, he followed her.

The End.

Author's note: Hello, I'm Dr. Manhattan, would you like to see my blue penis? I can't believe I wrote this story. I wrote it in about a day, did the editing the next day. Damn you, good movie. I hope I didn't overdo the whole mispronunciation shtick. It's up to the reader what happens in the bedroom. In my own mind, though, it may not be much more than a little light exploring, considering Megamind's inexperience and the brevity of their relationship.

Gosh darn it, though, this movie was so lovely. Everything I'd hoped it would be, and more, even though it was too short and could've used some further character elaboration— and of course, why Dream Works gave away all the plot twists before the movie came out, I'll never know. It reeked a little of desperation. The dance scene at the end was kind of pointless. I'd rather have seen a few more flashes of what happened to the characters.

I don't want a sequel (I think, at least), but a short prequel of the Shrek half hour special kind would be fantastic. Just a little more about what happened before the movie.

So anyway…please stop making crap, Dream Works. I loved Antz (it was better than A Bug's Life, definitely), and I love the first two Shrek movies and the two short specials, and Kung Fu Panda was pretty good (but nothing to fan spazz out over), but most of the other stuff I've seen was either mediocre, boring, unimaginative or just plain awful; Madagascar and Shark Tale being good examples of the latter. I had to ask my friend to turn off the Madagascar DVD about halfway in, and me and my boyfriend almost left the theater during the movie when we saw Shark Tale.

Megamind, though— wow. Apart from the few things I mentioned, I love it. The characters as well as their interaction were interesting, the music was good, the animation and design was great and there weren't really any annoying jokes. Roxanne/Megamind was squishy-nice, sweet, fun, yet strangely painful and innocent. I've been waiting for an interesting animated romance. :D The kiss scene was a high point— not because it had the mandatory kiss, but because of what happened during and after. A moment of bliss turned to horror. The garbage rehydrating as Roxanne walked in the rain was a perfect touch, illustrating how Roxy discovered that everything that she thought was nice was crap (literally, in the case of the garbage :P).

So…yeah. Please— no more movies about talking animals, unless it's a single character like Minion. Gimme cartoony humans/humanoids, not dancing penguins or whatever.

Nude on The Moon: Title stolen from the song of the same name by the band Tipsy. Seemed appropriate for the intimate subjects of their conversations, for the fact that Mega isn't from Earth, and for the sheer absurdity of the fact that they're even having this conversation— considering what they used to be to each other.

The Call of Cthulhu: The famous 1926 short story by H.P. Lovecraft.

Newsie: Megamind calls Roxanne this in the MM comic at the official website; I figured he might still slightly revert to their old conversational patterns when angry or afraid.

Fetish fuel: In a nutshell, Fetish fuel is when something in a work isn't explicit nudity, sexual activity, or something else pornographic, but still causes sexual arousal in the viewer (from TV Tropes). And in case you're wondering— no, Roxy getting tied up isn't particularly fetish fuel-y for me personally. I just couldn't resist having Roxy joke about it/muse over it. :D

Beards: The term 'Beard' is used to describe a person who is being used by another person to cover something up. This can range from gay men using a girlfriend as a beard to make people think he is straight, or someone using a friend to make people think they are hanging out with them when really they are with someone else (from Urban Dictionary).

Sham-pahgen: When I realized I had a person who routinely mispronounces well-known words saying "champagne", of course I had to give him Zapp Brannigan's mispronunciation of "champagne" from Futurama. :D

Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner: Writer and composer (respectively) of the play My Fair Lady.