AN: I sincerely apologize for the long wait. We just started classes and my professors are as crazily demanding as ever.
I hope you all would understand.
Please, please, don't hate me.
Chapter 4 – Amazing
"I'm your husband."
The words reverberated in my ear much like an irritating, maddening echo. Everything in me was screaming a big, bewildered, "No!" This was downright obtuse.
I cringed mentally, and perhaps physically as well, as I thought of the words. I may not remember anything, not my name or even my own face, but I was absolutely certain I could never willingly marry anyone - no matter how perfect and beautiful they are. Not even this impeccable angel in front of me.
Sensing my apparent distress and disbelief, he gently lifted my left hand and I was rendered speechless with utter shock as my eyes fell upon the ring on my finger. There was no denying it; the concrete evidence was just blaring.
'This is not true. This could not be true.' was all my mind could say over and over. I couldn't even open my mouth to get my protests out in the open. All I could muster up was a whispered, "Impossible" while still staring at the ring, as if my eyes were suddenly glued to it.
Then I ran.
Away from all these madness. Away from this angel – no, he wasn't an angel after all. Edward. Yes, that was his name. That was what I should call him.
And I was married to him? A part of me, no matter how much I try to crush the thought off, was immensely flattered. He was my husband? How did the perfect creature that he was even think of being that close to someone as disoriented and undesirable as me? That just didn't make sense at all. So lost in my own thoughts, I wasn't paying particular attention to where I was going. And since I didn't have any destination, how could I get lost?
The emotions coursing through me were so ephemeral. I didn't have enough time to grasp and examine them carefully before another equally anonymous feeling seizes me.
Have I always been this emotionally volatile?
Perhaps I should go back. Perhaps they could explain who I really was. Perhaps I would believe them.
I was busily contemplating going back, seeing the angel again…when a delicious, mouth-watering scent hit me.
In an instant, the tolerable, almost forgotten burn in my throat scorched like a wild conflagration. My feet instinctively followed where the scent was from.
And it was then the truth dawned on me.
Suddenly I knew what I was.
A dark, blood-sucking creature.
And now I was sprinting towards my food, my prey.
A human. A weak, delicious human.
And the closer I get the more maddening his delectable scent becomes. My obnoxious vampiric instincts were taking over any rational sense. All I could think of was to satisfy my evil cravings, to put out the unbearable fire in my throat.
Yet in the back of my mind, I feel disgusted with myself.
But I cannot make myself stop.
I need to. But I can't.
All of a sudden, I sensed someone running in the same direction I was, diverting my attention. A competitor? I turned around, ready to strike whoever dared touch what was already mine, and my breath suddenly caught in my throat.
It was the angel.
No, Edward. That was his name. That was what I should call him. How many times do I have to tell myself that?
Like a child caught with his hands on the cookie jar, I felt instantly guilty and embarrassed for even thinking of doing such a horribly unthinkable crime. And I even thought of him as a competitor.
I was a disgusting monster.
I ran past him, as fast as my legs could carry me, this time not away from him, but away from my innocent temptation.
What was I thinking? How can even I consider giving in to my sinful nature and satiate my hideous appetite? I was such a despicable creature.
Despite that, everything in me was screaming it was right.
How could that be?
So absorbed in my own thoughts, I didn't notice a herd of elk running nearby until I saw them and their scent, which was nowhere near as crazily luscious compared to the agonizingly delicious human, reached me. As non-appetizing as they smell, the warm, fresh blood rushing through their veins was a quiet, irrestibly remarkable promise of a quenched thirst once I sink my teeth into them.
So I did.
One by one, I ravaged each until I was sure another drop of liquid couldn't fit into my body anymore. When I finished, I was appalled at how many carcasses was there – five. I've eaten the whole herd.
"Bella." I turned towards the mesmerizing voice that was unmistakably from the angel. How does he do that? How come he could make a single, lone, mundane word sound like a song from the heavens?
As overcome with guilt as I was, I knew I shouldn't be able to look him straight in the eye. Not after him seeing how close I was to slaughtering a human – a normal, living person, someone with a family that would look for him if he mysteriously disappears from the face of the planet. A family that would mourn for the blameless sacrifice that should be made merely for my own, selfish, deplorable benefit. He could have been a good citizen, a loving father, a faithful husband. He could have had an indispensable job at a company, a crucial role in the community, a fundamental place in his family. And it was all so easily could have been devastated. All because of me.
But I couldn't find it in me to look away from his golden, bewitching gaze. As if I were a victim of hypnosis, I found myself slowly walking towards him. He met me halfway, grinning from ear to ear.
What was there to smile about? I thought to myself rather annoyed.
"You are amazing", he whispered and ever-so-gently nuzzled my forehead. His arms wrapped around my waist and I felt my body melt into his. His effect on me was terrifyingly astounding; his skin against mine felt dangerously right, perfect. His sweet, delicious breath brushed softly against my cheek and I greedily breathed him in. I could almost believe what he said about him being my…
I can't even make myself think of the mere word, let alone actually believe it was true.
I pulled away from him and stood at the farthest end of the…meadow. We were at a meadow. It was the first time I took notice where we were - a perfect circle of the most beautiful flowers in every shade imaginable with magnificent, evergreen trees. It was the loveliest sight I'd ever laid eyes on, as far as I could remember, of course. And, well, not counting the only other creature standing on it with me.
Before he could again unconsciously put me under his spell, I spoke, pretending to examine the tress behind him, as an excuse not to look at him.
"I've almost murdered a human. How can I be amazing? I am such an appalling, obnoxious creature." Admitting aloud what almost happened made me all the more guilt-ridden that I was almost suffocated by the feeling.
He laughed gently and I realized it was the best sound I have ever heard.
I slowly shook my head to help clear it, to no avail. I concentrated on counting the leaves behind him and pay less attention to the speaker himself. But it was all in vain. I only got more and more aware of his seemingly inescapable, glowing presence. And angel with a halo and wings intact would have been less conspicuous…and beautiful.
"What you did, run away from your prey, was impossible for a newborn." He stated rather matter-of-factly.
I frowned, uncomprehending.
"I'll explain to you everything", he promised. "Just go home with me", as he said the words, his voice lowered slightly and his eyes blazed with unfathomable emotions.
I forcefully, and admittedly unwillingly, pried my eye away from his too handsome face, just to think. If he continued doing dazzling me like that, I might lose my already loose grip on sense and do whatever he tells me to do and believe whatever comes out of his perfectly sculptured lips. Which, needless to say, absolutely terrifies me.
"Okay", I finally replied and a big, playful smirk painted across my face as a mischievous plan occurred to me. "Let's race", I challenged and run back faster than I've ever had.