What if Chuck wrote books all the way through Season 5?
Dean was reading the books they had found at the weird bookstore. Sam was looking up information about them on the internet. "OK, so this Carver Edlund guy wrote about 60 books. The last one, No Rest for the Wicked, ends with you going to Hell.
"Do we know anything about this guy?" Dean asked.
"It took some digging, but I found out that his real name is Chuck Shirley and I've got an address."
"OK, let's go talk to him," Dean said, not sure he really wanted to. This was creepy even for them. How did this guy know everything about them?
Sam and Dean pulled up to the ramshackle house. "It looks deserted," Dean said, doubtfully.
"Let's check it out," Sam said.
They went inside and it did look pretty cleared out. They found a desk and started going through the few papers left there. "Uh-oh," Sam said.
"It's a list of books," Sam said.
"So?" Sam loved books, so he couldn't see why a list of them would freak Sam out.
"It's a list of Carver Edlund's books. There are forty more after No Rest for the Wicked."
"Crap," Dean said. "What are they?"
"Lazarus Rising. That's probably you coming back from Hell. Are You There God It's Me Dean Winchester?"
"What's that about?"
"Your first period?" Sam joked.
"Never mind," Sam said, not wanting to admit that he had read Are You There God, It's Me Margaret
"In the Beginning."
"That was probably when I went back in time to meet Mom and Dad."
"Metamorphosis, Monster Movie."
Dean remembered that stupid Dracula shape-shifter. Ick.
"Yellow Fever," Sam started laughing. He couldn't help it. Dean afraid of everything was hysterical.
Dean rolled his eyes. That had not been a good 48 hours.
"It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester; Wishful Thinking, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Heaven and Hell, Criss Angel Is a Douche Bag."
"Who's Criss Angel?" Dean asked, trying to go through people they had met. Maybe it hadn't happened yet?
"He's a magician. This is probably about that death transference case. After School Special, Sex and Violence."
"Alright." Dean said.
"That was probably the siren, Dean," Sam said, not really wanting to remember that case. They had tried to kill each other.
"Oh," Dean said.
"Death Takes a Holiday, On the Head of a Pin, It's a Terrible Life, Jump the Shark."
"Jump the Shark? Have we had a case at Sea World?"
"Actually It's a Terrible Life was probably when the angels took away our memories. That was last week. I think we're getting into 'not having happened yet' territory."
"OK, keep going," Dean said.
"The Rapture. That's when all the Christians get swooped up to Heaven."
"Do you think that's what's going to happen?"
"No idea. Next is When the Levee Breaks. Oh no, I don't like the sound of this next one."
"What is it?' Dean asked.
"Lucifer Rising," Sam said and met Dean's gaze.
"No, no, no, no, no."
"Sympathy for the Devil; Good God Y'All."
"Do you think God is going to show up and save the day?" Dean asked.
"We could only hope. But, since when do things work out that way in our experience? Free to Be You and Me; The End."
"Is that the last one?"
"You would think, but no, there are 16 more. I Believe the Children are our Future, The Curious Case of Dean Winchester, Changing Channels, Abandon All Hope."
"That one sounds fun."
"Yeah. Sam Interrupted, Swap Meat, spelled M-e-a-t."
"Do you think we trade bodies?" Dean asked.
"Hope not. The Song Remains the Same; My Bloody Valentine; Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid; Dark Side of the Moon; 99 Problems."
"Well, that's better than 1,000 problems."
"Point of No Return, Hammer of the Gods, The Devil You Know, Two Minutes to Midnight and Swan Song."
"That it?" Dean asked.
"Well, maybe we shouldn't assume things from titles. Let's look around some more. I'll go upstairs."
Dean came down a few minutes later. "There was one book upstairs."
"One of his books?" Sam asked.
"The Devil You Know," Dean said in answer.
Sam checked the list. "That's the third to last book. Should we read it?"
Dean sighed. "I think we have to. You read faster. You read and then summarize as you go."
Sam began reading. "OK, first scene has two lab guys, or whatever, talking about an H1N1 virus and testing and some demon comes in and injects one of them with something locks them in and the injected one kills the other one."
"Next scene has us talking to a doctor and the latest swine flu epidemic and something about a statue of an angel crying blood."
"Next scene we're in the car talking to Bobby on the phone, wondering why Pestilence isn't using the Croatoan virus. A demon, named Crowley, that we apparently know, pops up in the back seat. I try to stab him and he disappears. We pull over and have a conversation with him. Apparently he had given us the Colt to kill the devil. It didn't work and we got some people killed."
"Doesn't say. All we know for sure is not Bobby."
Dean sighed. They had gotten so many people killed over the years.
"Next scene where in an old house, Crowley's, and he basically told us he's been bugging us and knows about the Horseman's rings. He knows how we can find the last two."
"What does that mean?"
"Absolutely no idea. Next scene is in a boardroom and some guy is telling them that they need to get the swine flu vaccine ready for distribution. He gets in a mini-altercation with one of the guys. Next scene he calls that guy into his office and tells him he's going to give him a job in communications. He slits his throat and uses the blood to call Pestilence, who yelled at him about the vaccine, I guess."
"What is this Pestilence you keep mentioning?" Dean asked.
"I'm assuming one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Next scene is us and Crowley. He wants you to go with him but not me, because he doesn't like me. I don't want you to go with him, because this is as bad an idea as me trusting Ruby," Sam said, realizing from reading this that Ruby must betray him.
"So, at some point in time, you're going to realize that trusting Ruby was not a good idea?" Dean asked.
"Apparently. Let me just read the rest," Sam said. This play-by-play was getting ridiculous. Dean could read it for himself later if he wanted.
"OK, turns out the boardroom guy was my best friend from Stanford Brady. He introduced me to Jess just so that he could kill her," Sam said. He was trying very hard to keep his anger in check, but knew he wasn't succeeding.
"Sorry, Sammy," Dean said. Sam had always felt responsible for Jessica's death, but to find out that he had been set up with her just so that she could be killed had to be killing him.
"We found out where Pestilence was from him and then I killed him. Bobby sold his soul to this Crowley guy to get Death's location. Also, I say it would be a good idea to let the devil possess me, so that I can take control from him and have him jump back into Hell," Sam said in a confused tone. The whole thing made no sense. If he hadn't read all the books that had already happened, he wouldn't believe a word of it.
"OK, that is weird. Well, the one thing that we learned that can help us now is that Ruby betrayed you. Did we find out how by the way?"
"No, but it's mentioned a couple of times, so she definitely does."
"OK, we should kill her, then."
Sam sighed. He agreed, but he still found it hard to believe he had been wrong about Ruby. He was also curious as to what she did. Without the rest of the books, or Carver Edlund, there would be no way to find out.
"I'll call her and set up a meeting and stab her," Sam said.
"No, we should do it together," Dean protested.
"Look, if it's just me, she'll let down her guard. If you're there, she won't."
Dean realized that made sense. "Alright," he agreed. "But just kill her quick, don't try to get information or anything."
"OK," Sam agreed. He wouldn't try to get information.
Sam called Ruby when Dean was in the bathroom. "We got a line on Lillith. I need more."
Ruby was worried. All the seals weren't broken yet. Sam wasn't supposed to be able to find Lillith yet. She was supposed to be stringing him out, but maybe she could distract him with some blood. "OK. Where do you want to meet?"
Sam picked a hotel nearby. Dean came out. "That was Ruby. I'm going to go meet her now."
"Be careful, Sammy," Dean said. He wasn't sure why but he thought Sam was hiding something from him.
"I'll be fine. She trusts me," Sam said.
"Hey, Sam," Ruby said when she opened the door for him.
"Hi, Ruby. I need more blood to be ready for Lillith. We know where she is."
Ruby decided to stall by letting him drink some blood. He was a long way off from getting enough to kill Lillith anyway. Sam pushed her down on the bed and grabbed the knife from her boot and cut her arm. He started sucking.
"That's enough, Sam," Ruby said, beginning to feel weak.
Sam had always quit when she told him to, but not today, he didn't know how he would ever get anymore. He cut her other arm and started drinking.
"Sam!" Ruby protested. She started struggling. Sam grabbed the "big-time magic knife" from the back of his jeans and stabbed her.
"So, you really killed her?" Dean asked. He had been afraid Sam would back out at the last second. He would never understand how Sam could have such a bond with a demon.
"Yeah. Now, I think we should go kill Brady," Sam said. The book had said that Brady had actually done the killing as well as the set up. He wanted revenge now, not a year from now.
"I don't know Sam. Seems like we need him next year to find Pestilence," Dean hedged. He didn't want to mess up the space-time continuum or anything.
"Now that we killed Ruby the Apocalypse probably won't even start. Besides, since when are you against killing demons? Please," Sam said and flashed him his puppy dog eyes.
"Alright," Dean said against his better judgment. He knew how much Jessica had meant to Sam and he knew what he would want to do in the same situation.
"Thanks," Sam said.
They had tracked Brady down to the pharmaceutical company he would be working for next year. They waited around the corner outside. Sam saw him approaching. "Brady?" he said, like it was an accidental run-in.
"Sam?" Brady wasn't sure what was going on. He didn't believe in random coincidences and word had it Ruby had fallen off the map. He and Lillith were the only two who knew what she was up to, so they had to sometimes steer other demons in the wrong direction. Because of this, she kept in touch pretty regularly.
"How's it going?" Sam asked, distracting him, so Dean could stab him from behind. He was almost in position.
"Good. You? Haven't heard from you since Jessica, well you know," Brady said.
Dean plunged the knife into his back. Brady glowed red and fell down.
"I hope we didn't just make a huge mistake," Dean said, thinking of the future.
"Since when is it a mistake to kill a demon? Speaking of which, we really need to concentrate on finding Lillith so we can kill her," Sam said.
"Yeah," Dean said, looking at the knife, hoping it would be enough. He knew that Alistair seemed to not be much affected by it.
Sam was just thinking of how he could score more blood. He knew he would be able to kill Lillith that way. He knew Ruby was going to betray him somehow, but at least she had taught him what he needed to know, and killing Lillith was still the goal.