Here Comes the Munsters
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the Munsters. Nor do I own the characters in them.
Summary: Harry is never found by Petunia. He is taken by Herman and goes to live at 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Mockingbird Heights. He is raised in America and completes his education at the American Academy. Harry/Marilyn.
Note: I will be playing around with the time. The time frame I will be using is the Harry Potter time frame. The Munsters will be placed in the HP frame. Marilyn will be the same age as Harry and has lived with her aunt and uncle the entire time. I'm starting the Munsters off at the end of Munster, Go Home. And Eddie has not been born yet. Don't like it, don't read it. Author's prerogative.
Chapter One: Can I Keep Him, Lily?
Number 4 Privet Drive
"Albus, are you sure this is a good idea," persisted McGonagall. "I've been watching these people for hours. They are the worst sort of Muggles. Their son is a spoiled brat and that man is…is…I just can't describe him."
"Alas, this is the best option for young Harry," he said. Without his upbringing as a noble, he will be easy to mold to my will. "He will be safe here. There are still Death Eaters at large and we can't take the chance that they might attack him."
"But he'll grow up not knowing who he is," she persisted. Sometimes Albus just annoyed her to no end. "He'll be famous. People will hail him as a hero. He needs to be brought up in a proper environment."
"That is why it's imperative that he grows up away from it all. He'll grow up a normal, happy child. When he arrives at Hogwarts, he'll be spoiled as it is."
"But…" she tried again but finally gave in. It was only her loyalty to him that prevented her from taking Harry herself. "Where is he?"
"Hagrid is bringing him," he said as he checked his watch.
"Are you sure that's wise," she asked worried. "I know he means well, but he is careless."
"I would trust Hagrid with my life," he said with an air of confidence.
Of course you also trusted your lemon drop stash to Fawkes who ate it, She thought.
Soon a loud rumbling sound came from the sky, growing louder as it neared the two.
"The muggles…" McGonagall started as she looked around in fear.
"Don't worry," Dumbledore said. "I warded the area the other day. I wanted some privacy when we left him."
"Headmaster," cried a loud voice as a very large man rushed over. "I…"
Noticing the lack of a baby in Hagrid's arms. "Where's Harry? Didn't you bring him?"
"I'm sorry professor," Hagrid cried. "He wasn't there. There were two bodies and a pile of ash. I searched the entire village but no one has seen him." He neglected to mention that the townspeople were already drunk and didn't seem as frightened of him as usual.
"What do we do," McGonagall asked worriedly. "Where do we start looking? He could be anywhere now."
"I'll alert the Order," he said as he got a determined look on his face. "We'll meet at Hogwarts in one hour. The entire country will be searched."
Unknown to any of them, young Harry was already on his way out of the country.
"Where is he," said a frustrated woman as she cradled a young baby girl. "He should have been here hours ago."
"Lily, when will you learn," an older man said. "You can't leave Herman unattended for a second. He's probably lost in some park or has gotten himself arrested. You remember that time he sat in that garden for two hours just staring at the butterfly. And calm down, you'll wake Marilyn."
"Now Grandpa, don't be that way," Lily chided as she checked on the baby. "He means well, it's just that he can't help himself. You know that quality brains weren't in great abundance when he got his. And don't worry about Marilyn, she sleeping peacefully."
"I wish you would let me give him an upgrade," Grandpa said. "I hear that they have some nice new brains on the market now. Einstein level."
"I won't take a new brain," a voice suddenly said. "I won't. I won't. I won't."
"Herman, well have you been," Lily admonished. "We might have missed the boat."
"But I found…"
"I don't care what you were doing," she said. "Or what you found. I should make you swim the entire way back."
"No buts," she said. "I want you to get on that ship…"
She was interrupted when a baby began to cry, which in turn made Marilyn cry. "What's that," Grandpa said as he peered at the young baby."
"It's why I was late," Herman said. "I found him."
"You can't just go around and take babies from their families," Lily said. "You remember what happened to your cousin back in Transylvania, don't you?"
"He was all alone," Herman persisted. "His house was burning down and his parents were dead."
"Wh-at?" she stopped. She couldn't ignore an orphan. "Dead? How? Where the killers still there?"
"I don't know," he said. "When I left Munster Hall after meeting with the lawyer, I hitched a ride in the back of a truck for a few hours until the man saw me and took off running. Well, I saw a nice pub and figured that if anyone knew where I was, they would. After they were kind of enough to tell me when the local bus came through, I went outside to wait for. While waiting I heard an explosion and saw some pretty fireworks. They were blue, green…"
"We don't care what colour the fireworks are," Grandpa said. "Get on with the story."
"Well, I decided to go and see if they had anymore that I could ask for. When I arrived, the house was falling down and I found this little tyke. I couldn't find anyone to give him to so I brought him with me on the bus. The driver was even kind enough to skip all the other stops to get me here in time."
"Well, we can't keep him," Lily said. "We'll give him to the authorities at customs."
"Wait," Grandpa said as he caught sight of something. "What's that?"
"What," Lily asked in annoyance. Everyone wanted to delay their trip home for something.
"That scar on his head," he pointed. "It's full of magic, dark magic."
"What?" Lily asked in shock. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," he said as he frowned. "I've not seen something like this for centuries. Not since the Old Country. His entire body is saturated in dark magic. A bunch of strange people came by the castle and wanted to buy it. I sent them on their way."
"What do we do with him?" Lily asked. She could tell Herman was already attached to the baby. They had been talking about having a child for a while now. Sure, they were looking after Marilyn while her parents where on their second honeymoon. They expected to be gone for a couple decades and asked them to watch their baby. They said it was perfectly normal to take a second honeymoon as soon as the baby was born. Strange customs, but they had been in America for a long time. Maybe they were still suffering from sea sickness from that trip over to Plymouth.
"We keep him," Herman said as he cooed at the baby. "I like the little tyke and he will be great for Marilyn. She needs a playmate. Just look at her. She's not normal, like us. With him, she won't feel so miserable."
"As loathe as I am to say it," Grandpa said. "I agree with the lug head. We can't leave him with just anyone. They will not know what to do with him. Left uncheck, his magic could lash out."
"What will we call him," Lily said "We can't…"
She was interrupted by a popping sound as a small creature appeared out of thin air. "What are you doing with young master?" she asked while pointing her finger at them.
"Young master," Grandpa asked. He had never seen such a curious little creature before. I wonder what it's blood tastes like?
"Young master is the little one of Master and Mistress," she said. "I am Mimzy, young master's elf. I was appointed by Master and Mistress to take care of young master."
"What is young master's name," Lily asked carefully. She could tell the creature was more powerful then it let on. It would not do to annoy her. "We would like to take care of him also, but we need to know his name."
"Master Harry Potter is young master's name," Mimzy said after carefully studying them. "I'll be coming with you. It's my job to look after young master."
"I need everyone's attention," Dumbledore called as he stood up. "Now I know that many of you are celebrating the downfall of the Dark Lord, but I have some bad news."
"What? Did the muggles discover us?" called one particularly drunk Order member. "Good, they can join in the celebrations."
After shooting a stern glare at the offending voice. "Harry Potter has gone missing. I want to set up search grids for the entire country. I want men posted at every exit, both muggle and magical. We will find Harry Potter." It's imperative that we do.
1313 Mockingbird Lane
Mockingbird Heights, California
Two weeks later
"Herman, what are we going to do with Harry?" Lily asked. "If what Mimzy said is true, there will be those who are looking for him. She said an evil man tried to kill him and another bad man was trying to kidnap him."
"Well, we need to make our custody of him official," Grandpa said. "That's the first thing we need to do. But the question is where."
"Mimzy can help. Mimzy knows where to go," the small creature said sourly. Ever since arriving, she had not been able to clean. There was dust and cobwebs everywhere and the paint was peeling. Every time she tried to clean, it just reappeared. It was like the house was fighting her. Mimzy will show house who is the boss. House will not beat Mimzy. At least she was able to cook, though the food was strange.
"How can you help," Lily said slowly.
"Mimzy can take you to the goblins. They will know what to do. Goblins are the keepers of the wizard's gold."
"And you can take us there," Grandpa asked.
"Yes, Mimzy can," the elf jumped happily. "Just hold on to Mimzy and we shall go."
Los Angeles, California Branch
As soon as the group appeared in the bank, Herman proceeded to be his usual self. In other words, he almost started a goblin war.
"Hey, look at the funny looking things," Herman pointed as he ran over to one of them and picked it up. "Lily, can we keep it."
"Put me down you insufferable oaf," the goblin ranted. "Put me down now."
"Hey, it speaks," Herman yelled back to Lily. Turning back to the goblin, "My name is Herman. What's yours?"
"Put me down," the now panicking goblin cried. This man was extremely strong, more so than he thought.
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to put down my guard," an important looking goblin said carefully. He made sure to keep the other guards far away. He had no idea what this man wanted and didn't want to provoke someone this strong.
"Herman Munster," Lily yelled as she stormed over with the carriage. "Put him down this instance."
"I'm sorry," he said looking admonished. Putting the goblin down, which took off, he turned to Lily who was still glaring at him. "I've never seen anything like him before."
"That does not give you the right to go and pick him up."
Seeing that the incident was over and hoping to get them out of his bank as soon as possible, he said. "My name is Bloodtrap, the bank manager. How may I be of service?"
"This house elf told us that you may be able to aid us in the adoption of this baby," she said as she pointed to Harry.
Looking the baby over and seeing the scar, his face showed surprise and interest. Alerts had been posted to all branches that Albus Dumbledore had overruled the will of the Potters. "I'm afraid that due to his case, you can't adopt him."
At seeing their downtrodden faces, he elaborated, "His parents had a will that stated who his guardians were to be. But I do have some good news for you." If he was able to pull this off, he might be able to get that promotion. After all, how many goblins can say that they pulled one over Albus Dumbledore?
"You do," Lily asked hopefully. She had grown quite fond of Harry. And Marilyn loved having someone to play with.
"Yes," Bloodtrap said. "Please come with me while I gather the will."
"Yes, it's all here," he said as he read over the paperwork. "You can't adopt him but you can make him your ward."
"Who was he supposed to go to?" Grandpa asked as he sipped on some blood the goblins had brought him. It seems that some of their clients are vampires.
"His godfather was arrested and sentenced to life in Azkaban prison without trial. Peter Pettigrew was killed by his godfather. The Longbottoms were driven into insanity. The Bones were all killed expect for their daughter. She has gone to live with her aunt."
"What happened?" Lily asked in shock. So many died.
"War happened. Harry defeated the Dark Lord who was responsible for most of the deaths. I must tell you that Albus Dumbledore tried to block the will and place the young Lord Potter with his muggle relative. That went directly against the will of the Potters."
"Dumbledore? Muggles?" Lily asked. "Who and what are those?"
"Albus Dumbledore is the Headmaster of a school for witches and wizards in the UK. He is meddling man who doesn't understand that some beings don't want help. And muggles are people without magic."
"So, how do we do this," Grandpa said after they had digested the information.
"This was put in place a thousand years ago incase noble families were almost wiped out. He will be made your ward. You sign these documents and swear to raise him to the best of your abilities. You will also receive a monthly stipend to aid in raising him."
"We'll do it," Lily said. "And the money won't be necessary. We can handle one more."
"The stipend won't even dent his vaults. He has enough to last ten lifetimes," Bloodtrap said. "On another note, he will be tutored to handle his holdings. Once he is old enough, we will send over tutors to train him."
"Thank you," Herman said as he added his signature.
As he was seeing them to the door, he said, "When he is old enough, we will contact you and bring you here so he can buy supplies."
As soon as he was sure they were gone, he hurried over to the fireplace. "Gringotts, London. Director Ragnorks Office"
"What is it," a goblin said. "We're busy."
"This is Director Bloodtrap and I have good news. The Potter incident has been settled. When he finally arrives in the wizarding world, Dumbledore will no longer be able to control him. Or us."
"He's in America?" another goblin asked.
"Yes, and he is now a ward of a most unusual family."
"Good. Make sure that he does not receive any letters from Dumbledore. We don't want him influencing the young lord. And make sure that all the schools in America know about him."
"Yes, it shall be done."
"Headmaster, we've found him," McGonagall shouted as she ran into the office. "It's in the paper. Gringotts gave a press release two hours ago stating that they have found Harry and he is safe."
"Where is he," Dumbledore asked as he stood up. "It's imperative that we ensure his safety."
"All they will state is he is safe and in the hands of his proper guardians."
End Chapter One