Disclaimer: I do not own the dictionary nor the Big Bang Theory. I do however own a dictionary (actually, several), and hope to own TBBT season DVD's soon.
Definitions of Leonard
The definition of rejection was as follows (as according to Leonard's MacBook):
verb |riˈjekt| [ trans. ]
dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one's taste.
Leonard had been dismissed as inadequate his whole life. His mother had told him as such his entire childhood by constantly comparing him to his apparently better siblings, and criticizing his every action. Then there had been the several disastrous, short-lived relationships he'd had. The women from those failed attempts at fitting in had definitely told him he was inadequate - as a lover, as a boyfriend, as a normal, functioning human being...
Most lately, he had been apparently deemed inadequate by Penny.
He cringed at her name, unable to control the reaction. A feeling that could only be described as pain tightened across his chest, forcing Leonard to take a deep breath. He didn't want to think of her - but then why was he looking up words to describe his predicament?
The tightening feeling in his chest didn't go away, and every time he thought her name (or even just of her, apparently) it flashed hot and fierce.
Leonard re-read the definition, and was grateful that he had at least never been labelled as inappropriate. At least unless you counted the fact that various women had told him it was 'inappropriate' to continue relations with him. Like Penny, claiming he was too smart for her - that it was inappropriate for a genius to date a 'dummy'.
Leonard disagreed - he never thought she was stupid. Sure, she didn't know a thing about physics or comics, but he didn't know a thing about cooking or the majority of pop culture. She may have had a past, filled with boys and parties and running away, but his past was empty of anything but memorization and academic achievement. She needed someone who would stay by her, and he needed someone who would appreciate everything he gave. He had thought they needed each other.
'To no one's taste'. Leonard really wasn't to anybody's taste. Hadn't Penny told him that he was the exact opposite of every guy she had ever dated? That had been the original reason she agreed to go out with him. She had said all the guys she dated didn't care about her, and just used her for sex. Leonard didn't understand how being nice got you nothing, and being a total jerk apparently got you girls like Penny.
Leonard read the example sentence, and figured they should really change it to, "Leonard gets rejected by every female he ever loves."
Refuse to agree to (a request) : an application to hold a pop concert at the club was rejected.
Penny refused to agree that she loved him: an application of love was rejected.
Fail to show due affection or concern for (someone); rebuff : she didn't want him to feel he had been rejected after his sister was born.
Leonard thought this was the saddest definition of all. Didn't he deserve love, affection, whatever humans continued to chase (despite the complete heartbreak and idiocy of it all)? He never got it, whatever the case. Leonard didn't know what he did to mess everything up.
The example sentence made him laugh in a sardonic way. Didn't want him to feel rejected - too late for that Penny. He'd never been so hurt in his life.
Medicine: show an immune response to (a transplanted organ or tissue) so that it fails to survive.
Leonard's mind caught on the words 'fails to survive'. Ignoring the medical connotations to this portion of the definition, he contemplated these three words.
Failing to survive.
He was failing to survive.
This black hole that seemed to have taken residence in his chest - showing itself by either pain or the gut-wrenching feeling of falling or being lost. The black hole acted as they do - he didn't feel happy, he just felt grimly amused by things and cynical of everything. He couldn't watch movies or television because there inevitably a love scene that made him so uncomfortable he had to shut it off, scoffing that love doesn't exist as he did so. It was the same with books, unless he wanted to read something purely academic, which is what he had been doing to combat the insomnia that plagued him.
He still ate, though fleetingly. He ate with Sheldon, eating whatever Sheldon ate. He never felt hungry, or cravings for things like he used to have.
He felt beaten down, and he was sure this inner black hole would eventually do as all black holes did - consume the entire matter before imploding upon itself.
a person or thing dismissed as failing to meet standards or satisfy tastes : some of the team's rejects have gone on to prove themselves in championships.
Next, the noun. A person dismissed as failing to meet the standards or satisfy tastes. That had been covered. Leonard also sincerely doubted he was going to go on and win some kind of championship - unless it was a Darwin Award for managing to epic-ly fail every single relationship he'd ever had.
The underdog didn't even usually come out on top anyways. The strongest survive, not the weakest, in evolution. A dying cell eventually dies - it does not come back to suddenly save the body from a super-virus... well actually, technically, one could, in essence. That's how vaccines kind of worked. That wasn't the point though. In real life, people who were losers usually stayed losers.
Another definition should be added under 'noun' - Leonard Hofstadter. There would be a 'see: failure', and it could include a picture with the caption: Physicist, boyfriend, and son. The ultimate example of rejection.
The picture would just give everyone else the heads up to expect nothing from him, since he inevitably couldn't do it anyways.
rejectee |riˌjekˈtē; ˌrē-| noun
rejection |riˈjek sh ən| noun
rejective |riˈjektiv| adjective ( rare).
rejector |-tər| noun
Rejectee. That was Leonard. A rejectee suffering rejection from a rejector saying a rejective. Leonard was surprised he managed to use all the derivatives in a single sentence - that was probably a grammatical fail.
With a sigh, Leonard shut his laptop, and put his head in his hands.
AN: I wrote this really quickly (and barely edited it... sorry lol) - I was just feeling the need to write a bit of angst, and while I'm glad they made Leonard okay(ish) on the show, I think his thoughts would probably be pretty bleak. I also think that he really has been rejected by like every female ever, from mom to girlfriend... so... yeah. -shrug-
Thanks for reading, and hopefully reviewing!