When the snow melts
Hey Guys! I'm just looking through my old journals and writing some random one shots… once again yukixharu BUT this is a Drabbleish fic in Hatori's pov. I love my tori-chan! XD Enjoy!
It hurts. This feeling. It's like hate, anxiety, loss, and loneliness all in one. It's the feeling you get when the one you love is taken away, the one you hold so close to your heart is in pain… and it's your entire fault. Your mind goes blank, your body goes numb, and your heart…stings. Are you guilty? Are you sad? Are you scared? How about all three? You feel like nothing, because without them you are nothing. You're just a pathetic object, incapable of any affection.
As I sit here and watch them…I feel like crying. They hug, they kiss, they laugh, and they smile. But, for how much longer? Your world will break, and start twisting, until it shatters. Smiles will turn to frowns, laughs will turn to sobs, love to regret, and everything vanishes. Along with your will to smile.
Enjoy it while it last.
Yuki can you hear me? Haru are you listening? Promise me, so maybe I'll believe. Hatsuharu promise me you'll protect him. Yuki is fragile, and he's been broken so, so many times. Your love has mostly healed him, but it can equally hurt him as well.
Not only that, but your love is still somewhat resented. Not by me. Nor most everyone else. But by…him. Don't let the object of yuki's terror tear away the only one who makes him feel like a person. You, Haru, you're his everything, don't make my mistakes.
You too, yuki. You of all people I expect to know the meaning of sorrow. You spent your life feeling unloved, resented, and absolute terror. You, I thought would know to restrain yourself. Hey, but after so long of being in love, you deserve a chance at happiness. You deserve the ability to let go and give in to the feeling of bliss that love has to offer. After so much fear, you found a person…who touches your shielded empty heart that you had caged, as to not let love in. It was all you could do to protect yourself. But remember, know the border lines, don't let yourself fall to in love that in the in you're crushed…another of my well known mistakes.
Yuki's name means snow. Yuki has a winter heart, icy, cold, and covered securely. He let the ice consume it, so love can get out, nor enter. Although he pretends, a winter heart is just practically begging for warmth.
Haru's name means spring. He has a spring heart. Through the hardest of times, he can be calm and go threw it with a smile. His life has had its equal hardships. He to was resented and looked down upon, but just as spring remains beautiful through most everything, Hatsuharu will put on a fake smile and trudge through it. Even though he appears okay, on the inside he was lonely. Always being looked down upon- degraded, and feeling as though he was a humiliation and disappointment to the ones he loves- of coarse he would feel lonely. So when he met someone to confront him, see him as something no one else did, all those dirty feelings cleared and his heart was sunny again.
He fell in love. Found someone to make him smile, and laugh. But the object of his dreams had a cage shielding of all emotion.
(Flashback, haru at age 12)
"OW! Tori-san that really hurt!" a twelve year old Hatsuharu yelped, as hatori finished up his flu vaccination. "It's over, so stop whining." Hatori replied softly, placing a red band-aid over Haru's shot. Haru smiled up at the doctor slightly, but it was a sad smile, an almost longing smile.
Hatori sensed the young ox's discomfort and sadness, so he felt a bit guilty, so he decided to talk to the Ushi.
"What's wrong Hatsuharu" he said in a calm tone. Haru just closed his eyes for a second before looking straight at the dragon, "Tori-san…what's wrong with me?"
Haru look at him curiously, "what do you mean…are people calling you names again?" he was worried that the ox might be sad about the curse again. That felt like such a shame, the past few months the ox had been doing so well with keeping his darker side in check. None of them knew what happened, Haru had just been being so much happier and calm for a while.
"Ha-hatori-nii…im in love." He stated almost proudly to the older zodiac, but then his head feel once again in sadness. Hatori felt his heart twinge at the statement…no…this couldn't happen again…not to Hatsuharu.
"Haru…im sorry, but you are cursed. Being with any girl outside of the family is strictly immpos-""the person I love is in the family." Hatsuharu quickly said, he'd gotten the curse speech 100 times, he didn't want to hear it again. Hatori's eyes widened. 'Maybe its Isuzu?' he thought to himself, before hearing haru mumble something under his breath that made the doctors eyes widen larger.
"Its not a girl either…"haru whispered as quietly as possible.
The dragons jaw dropped slightly, wearing a slight "'look. "Who?" the older one asked. Haru looked up from his feet and blushed lightly.
The ox whispered so low it took a while to decipher what he actually said, but when he finally did, hatori put on the biggest '.GOD'look ever. Wait, he thought haru hated yuki, he didn't even know that haru had ever even MET the rat! When the hell did they fall in love!
After getting over the shock, the black haired man began to think rationally again. He knew akito would NEVER allow this, for yuki was the sadistic mans plaything. But, he decided to not make haru even sadder, and tried to be a bit positive or comforting to his brother-like companion.
"If you love him, what's the problem then." He asked in his cool monotonous voice.
He watched tears pooled up in Haru's eyes, and the little boy put a hand over his aching heart. "Yu-yuki is so perfect. He's beautiful, kind, and graceful…I kinda just loved being anywhere near him. So, we became very close friends. I would sneak and visit him before he would visit that monster akito, and I would hold him in my arms as he shook and cried afterward." He spoke softly, each word filled with all of his heart. 'So haru knows about all the things akito does to yuki...' he told himself.
"I spent every single possible second with him, valuing every minute…loving every minute. After I realized my feelings I-I decided to tell him. But…" Haru paused with a sob, "he just brushed it of, simply stating 'we will never be allowed to be together'...why hatori? He said something like that with no emotion, like he didn't even want me to be there…and now he is completely avoiding me." He hiccupped, before burying his face into his hands and crying, his whole body shaking from how much he wept.
The dragon knew exactly what was happening. Of course yuki would say no, in love or not. You know all the horrible thins akito would do to yuki? All the even worse things to haru, he was just doing it out of protection for the one he cared about. Of coarse he would not tell haru this, but instead he placed a reassuring hand on to Hatsuharu's shoulder and squeezed it in a comforting manner.
The ox looked up to him curiously, his eyes slightly red.
"Hatsuharu…when snow melts, what does it become?" he asked calmly. Haru looked at his inquisitively, trying to find out what hatori was getting at. "Water?" he asked, voice holding both curiosity and a bit of annoyance.
Then hatori did something the ox least expected…he smiled. It was a encouraging smile, almost contagious, and the younger man felt somewhat…strangely…better?
"haru, when snow melts…it becomes spring" he said, remembering all of what kana had once said to him." The same with yuki, his heart is just a little frozen right now…but one day…maybe you could change it into something warm and beautiful." He smiled. Haru stared in disbelief. was this really hatori?
The older man knew akito would never let go of him, but he wished yuki happiness. Same with Hatsuharu. So right now he just had to see the younger ones were safe, and happy.
Hatsuharu smiled wide "ill never give up!" he laughed.
Hatori knew that statement was true.
(End of flashback)
I smiled at the memory. Even if akito would not except it, I believe in haru. The younger man would surely keep his true love safe, I just know it.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw as the young lovers kiss, and haru held yuki close to him.
"I love you haru." He whispered, closing his eyes and listening to Haru's heartbeat. "I love you to yuki." He stated lovingly.
Winter could not exist without spring. Spring could not exist without winter. Yuki, your winter is ending. So stop shivering. Beauty, warmth, love is here.
Your spring is here.
Well, who liked? Review please! Flames welcomed!...I enjoyed writing this. -_-