Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't own Naruto, I don't own pulled pork sandwich in a dirty ashtray, & I don't own the song Sister Christian. (Although every time I am hung over I wake up with the strangest urge to sing that song)
Anyways just quick want to say thank you to Iroka my beta on this story & crack muse! I probably wouldn't of even thought of this story about Pimp Shika if it wasn't for her story Oh My. I suggest you all ready it's the only place you can find Pimp Shika, Priest Gaara, rapping Shino, & a knitting Deidara, & Kakashi's orgy all in 1 convent bathroom!
Shikamaru woke up due to a strange dream involving robots vs. space cowboys. He realized his head felt like it was being bashed in by some evil gnomes and
his mouth tasted like a pull pork sandwich from a dirty ashtray. That along with the weird urge to bust out singing Sister Christian told him one thing: he was in fact hung-over.
Taking a moment, he tried to remember what had happened the night before, he came up with nothing but a big blank.
'Perfect I blacked out.' He thought with a sigh.
Opening his eyes the first thing he noticed was the back of a head full of crazy, messy blonde hair. He smiled putting his arm back around her sleeping
figure. That was right, Temari had just come in from the Sand and they had went out with everyone to the For Pete's Sake bar.
He laid there running a hand down the girl's bare back right about to fall back asleep when he felt something that made him want to jump out of his skin. A
small arm draped itself across his chest.
'What the hell…' He thought looking over his shoulder the best he could
only to see lighter longer blonde hair.
'Ino?... what did I do last night?' He thought to himself in a panic.
If Temari woke up someone was sure to die and most likely him. He took a breath trying to remember what happened. All he could come up with was the memory he went out to the bar with everyone and there was a drinking contest with shots.
This defiantly wasn't going to be a good day that was for sure. But at the very least it couldn't get any worse. At least that was what he thought till
her heard a small noise coming from behind Ino. He managed to look up at the mirror on his dresser without waking either of the girls up because waking
either of the blondes would be a potential death sentence. Looking in the mirror he managed to get a glimpse of brunette hair in a very familiar style.
'Shit Tenten too? Wow, what kind of pimp was I last night? ' He thought to himself thinking back to the shot contest.
Oh yeah there had been a lot of shots and yet there he was encouraging the girls to do more, much to the delight of the boys when they started arguing
about who had the best cleavage. He smirked remembering how that competition ended Naruto and the others owed him big time.
Taking a moment he decided think through this situation for a moment. He woke up this morning with hardly any recollection of the night before with
three very beautiful and even more dangerous kunoichi who wouldn't think twice about killing him for taking advantage of them. But wait; were they all
naked or just Temari? Curiously, making sure not to wake any of them, he moved his foot. Okay there was Ino...nope, no skirt. Tenten again
nothing. But wait, he couldn't help but notice something else. He moved his leg again getting a small annoyed noise from the other set of legs.
'Oh crap Sakura too? ' he thought to himself wanting to get up and run away
from the whole mess.
That's when a memory suddenly flashed back to him. It was late and they were all getting ready to leave the bar. He knew it was too late for all the
drunken girls to wander home on their own. That was when being the gentleman he was he offered his living room to them seeing as his place was closest.
He knew many men would kill to be in his position right now and honestly he'd trade them in an instant because as great as this was right now, in anotherhalf an hour well...he'd be lucky if he still had a house. He looked up at the ceiling praying a silent prayer that his death would be quick and
That's when he noticed the purple jacket on his dresser. 'Hinata, of course.'
He thought to himself it only made sense that she'd be here with the rest of them. He laid there remembering what happened next. They all got to his
apartment and were getting ready for bed when he made the suggestion that if they wanted to be more comfortable they sleep in his large bed.
Surprisingly, they all thought this was a great idea as they followed him to his room.
He couldn't help but get a big grin finally remebering of the rest of the night. So yeah he might get killed by five different women but remembering everything well
it was so totally worth it. He just decided to lay there enjoying the feeling of being as Pimp Shikamaru as he was surrounded in his bed by five naked women he could
deal with them when they got up but now was his time. At least that was the plan till his phone started ringing.
"Crap!" He said leaning over Temari trying to reach it on the nightstand. Too late the answering machine went off as the girls all started to wake up
"Hey dude, last night you were amazing! Yeah I couldn't believe you conned all those girls into taking their tops off for more shots!" Kiba yelled over the phone into his
answer machine causing the girls all to move.
"Yeah, I couldn't believe you conned all those girls into taking their tops off for more shots!" Naruto yelled. Shikamaru could feel Temari start to
turn around to face him and the other girls behind him start to move.
"Then to get all five of them to go to your apartment that plan was EPIC! You had better gotten some!" Kiba yelled he could feel five pairs of eyes angrily
turn to him.
"Anyways we just wanted to tell you are the man and our new hero!" Naruto said hanging up the phone.
All the girls sat up looking at him as he slinked down lower in the bed.
"I'm going to die, aren't I?" He asked with an annoyed sigh.
"Oh most defiantly." Temari said reaching over to grab her fan he could hear Sakura crack her knuckles.
"Troublesome…..but so worth it." He said hiding a smirk as the beating began.