A/N: A part of the 101 Negima fanfic challenge on the TvTropes forum. Check it out…

I hate In Medias Res, especially since Philippine fiction, of which I am almost annually forced to slog through, seems to be in love with it. That said, it's still a good device, properly used…

...

Descendants of Negi: An Elseworld of 2814… Possibly.

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 1: In which there is Chao(s)…

Disclaimer: Negima belongs to Akamatsu. I make no profit off this. If you paid to see this, you've been had… AND I WANT MY CUT!

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"This," Asuna said, glaring at the self-proclaimed time-traveling Martian, "Is all your fault somehow. I just know it."

Chao actually looked offended. "Me? How could this possibly be my fault?"

"You're the only time traveler I know!" Asuna cried, pointing. "Who else should I blame?-!"

"That you know," Chao said.

Asuna froze. "Did you just say–"

"I don't recall saying anything!" Chao interrupted.

Don't you just hate In Medias Res? To learn as to the cause of this conversation, we have to go back to the distant past…

...

65 Million Years Ago…

It was a perfectly average day. Then the meteor hit…

WHOOPS! A bit too far. Let's try this again…

...

65 Million Years Later, and some time before the first scene…

"I can't believe we're about to graduate!" Makie cried, jumping and twirling around in the air.

"None of us can believe you Baka Rangers are about to graduate either," Chisame said dryly, though none took it as an insult. They were too used to her prickly nature now.

Starbooks Coffee, which had nothing to do with books, and very little to do with coffee, preferring to go with overpriced things that would have made Fate Averruncus twitch inside at the blasphemy against good coffee, was still a good hangout. Chisame sat nursing her drink, watching with a sort of resigned fond amusement as Makie and Ku celebrated, leaping around like spider-monkeys on crack. Opposite the hacker, Chachamaru sat neatly, back straight, legs closed, her hands on her lap, a small, serene smile on her face.

It is usually customary, in these sorts of fics where a period of time has passed, to describe how everyone has gotten taller and more beautiful, with bigger breasts, different hairstyles (that make it hard to imagine what everyone looks like, most of the time) and repetitive uses of various purple prose words that make the person using them sound like an idiot who needs a thesaurus, or perhaps an idiot with a thesaurus. And indeed, the narrative was building up to that, honestly it was, but… no. Just no.

Still, expository material isn't amiss. Negi had continued on as their class' homeroom teacher for the past 4 years, moving from Middle School to high school, and even getting Evangeline to finally be bumped up. They'd spent a veritable fortune on age-changing pills over the last four years, but those in the know– a number that had progressively grown– felt it was worth it to have the vampire in their class. She bitched about having to keep hanging out with them, and why it was taking Negi so long to undo the curse his father had put on her, and accused him of delaying, even if it was an open secret among them that she'd sometimes sneak into Negi's lab– a small space he'd begged off Evangeline in her resort– and quietly sabotage one or two small things a month to delay him.

The sweet, sugary stuff the energetic two had ordered finally arrived, prompting them to sit down and eat, to seemingly no change at the rate they were talking. Chisame made vague, assenting sounds, enough to encourage them to keep talking and not actually include her in the conversation. She'd gotten really good at that. Chachamaru, of course, was politely listening and nodding along, though for all intents and purposes she was also keeping out of it.

"Hey everyone!" a voice called out. "Sorry we're late!"

Konoka ran towards them, smiling widely as usual, Setsuna behind her. The swordswoman was trying to keep up and tie her hair back to its usual tie at the same time. Konoka liked messing with her hair, something that caused no end of blushes from the hanyou. Asuna ran with them, with Negi behind, briefcase in hand. He hadn't gotten appreciably taller in the last four years. In fact, he hadn't seemed to have changed at all, despite all the time that had gone by, on top of how much he'd aged in Evangeline's resort and other such places.

"Had to get out of another Omiai?" Chisame asked.

Konoka shook her head, nonchalantly taking Setsuna's hand– the other girl went slightly redder. She has in fact been so red so often in recent years the school nurse was once concerned for her blood pressure– as they slowed down. "No, though it's not from grandfather's lack of trying. No, club ran kind of long since Anya and I got into a fortune telling competition."

"Again?" Chisame said. "Still the same fortune as usual?"

Negi blushed as all the girls looked at him. "Negi's romantic future seems to be beyond the ability of modern magic to ascertain," Setsuna said, sounding solemn and keeping a straight face. Asuna snickered.

"You wouldn't have to use fortune telling if you'd just kept the book of my family tree," Chao said next to Chisame, evilly stealing her drink.

Everyone jumped. "YOU!" Asuna pointed dramatically.

Chao smiled widely. "Yo!" the self-proclaimed 'Martian' said.

Setsuna and Negi were barely able to hold Asuna back as she lunged at the girl with the obvious intent to strangle her.

Chao blinked. "Eh? Asuna, don't tell me you're still holding the school festival against me after all these years…" She paused, frowning, then took out what was obviously a Casseiopia from her pocket and looked at it critically. "Yup, it's been four years. Don't tell me you're still pissed?"

"It's not the school festival she's mad about," Chisame said, giving the time-traveler a long, level look of supreme annoyance that signified also-restrained violence. "It's the stuff that happened after the festival."

Chao blinked. "What, you're mad about the kill-sat I made for Chachamaru and left in orbit over Mars? I though you'd find that useful."

"Not that," Chisame said. "Chao, what do you know about 'Deepground'?"

Chao blinked. "Ooohhh!" she drawled, looking nervous. "Did I forget about that?"

"You did," Chisame said, voice still level. "Fortunately, after we got the remnants of the Spider Virus out of them, your Tsviet androids were reasonable enough. We were able to pass it off as an action movie. They actually did show it theatrically."

"THAT PSYCHOTIC RED-HEADED RUSSIAN ROBOT OF YOURS STALKED ME FOR A WEEK!" Asuna cried. "SHE KEPT HIDING IN THE SHOWER TO AMBUSH ME!"

Chao snapped her fingers. "I'm pretty sure I left Hakase a note about that…"

"You did. We found it buried under an old sandwich covered with what appeared to be a highly advanced bacterial civilization, next to the miniature particle accelerator" Chachamaru said. "They had apparently worshipped you as a goddess and took your absence to mean the end of the world had come, and meant they should make war on the nanobot civilization in the circuit-board next to them, who apparently also worshipped you as a goddess. They unfortunately wiped each other out after the bacteria discovered nuclear power and the nanobots discovered chemical warfare."

"Oh," Chao said. "Well, the lab can get a little messy…"

"And then there was that 'Vegnagun' thing you apparently built and forgot about that woke up eight months after you left,'" Chisame said. "Nearly destroyed the campus before we found it a nice home on Monster Island."

Chao shuffled nervously. "Um…"

"Those colorful robotic dinosaurs followed…" Chisame continued.

"Those aren't mine!" Chao protested. "I was keeping those for a friend in California!"

"Then there was the frozen alien robot…"

"You kept that on ice, right?"

"And that mutated rat you gave to Makie…"

"Hey, she knew what she was getting into when she asked if she could keep Brain!"

"Brain-kun isn't a bother, Asuna," Makie protested. "You're just jealous you don't have someone to help you do your homework."

"HE TRIED TO SHRINK AND RANSOM OFF TOKYO TOWER TO FUND HIS PLAN TO TAKE OVER JAPAN!" Asuna cried.

"And that's just off the top of my nightmares," Chisame said, voice still level, though Chao belatedly noticed her left was gripping one of the bars of her seat so hard it had collapsed inward, and realized Chisame was slightly filled with boosting-magic. "So, I'm sure you can see there's some emotion attached to your reappearance."

"I want to kick her ass!" Asuna cried.

"Um, sorry?" Chao said. "Congratulations on graduating?"

Asuna and Chisame glared at her.

"Suddenly, I wish I had my battle suit handy," Chao said nervously, leaning away.

"Now, now, Asuna, be nice!" Konoka said. She smiled warmly at Chao. "Chao-chan's obviously come a long way to be with us at graduation! Can't we all just get along? You used to have no problem with Chao."

"She captured Takahata-sensei!" Asuna cried.

Negi blinked. "I thought you were over him?"

"It's the principle of the thing!" Asuna cried.

"Asuna making a big fuss over nothing," Ku said, waving a hand dismissively. She turned to Chao. "so, when we fight again?"

Chao sweatdropped. "Hey, I don't even have a place to stay yet! Can't you put off beating me up until Asuna looks like she won't join in?"

"Never going to happen, smiley," Asuna growled.

"Oh, give over, Asuna!" Makie said. "Look, it's a great day, Chao's back, and we're graduating! Why make a big fuss over it?"

"We should call the others!" Konoka said. "Everyone will be glad to know you're back!" She whipped out her cellphone…

...

Takane sighed as she finished the last of the paperwork, feeling a flash of satisfaction at a job well done. The blonde had been working as a teaching assistant since she graduated, and while others might complain about the mundanity and boredom and ignominy of it, she'd come to understand that a mage not needing to act in their capacity as a mage is a mage doing their job well. Between her atrocious luck in almost always losing some part or all of her clothes, the kinds of things she'd found that non-trainee mages had to deal with, and balancing a normal life– that is to say, a consistent daily routine, at least– she'd found that downtime was a good thing.

Filling out the last of the things Negi had asked her to do– he'd gotten better at relegating work to her, meaning she no longer had to pry it out of him with a crowbar because she felt guilty about not doing enough– she got ready to leave, gathering her briefcase and coat. A card nearly fell out of the pocket, and she grabbed for it hurriedly, stuffing the Pactio Card back in. The blush that still rose to her cheeks at the mere reminder of the card's existence gave her skin a nice, healthy flush. Sometimes, she still wondered about what had possessed her to form a Pactio with a boy several years her junior, but it was a small, rational part, and rationality had no place in dealing with the being of pure charisma that was Negi Springfield. She thumped a fist to her head, trying to reset her brain. Darn it, she hadn't stayed this embarrassed about making pactios with Mei and Megumi.

Lost in thought, she almost didn't notice the girl until she bumped into her.

"Excuse me, miss," the girl said. Takane looked down. Had she ever been that small? Well, probably, though she likely hadn't thought herself small. The girl was shorter than average, with strange ear ornaments, and long red hair that fell straight down her back. She carried a folder in her gloved hands. "Could you please direct me to the location of Professor Negi Springfield? I have urgent business with him."

Takane narrowed her eyes. "It's after hours. He's already left for home."

"Oh," the girl said. "I am too late then. I apologize for bothering you. I shall return tomorrow." She turned and began to walk away.

Takane really should have gone after her and asked all sorts of pertinent and logical questions. After all, she was Negi's assistant, after all, and she'd seen one too many suspicious attempts to get at Negi– whether by fans, stalkers, love-sick students, and actual legitimate enemies out to kill him– not to at least recognize when things were suspicious. She really should have.

Her stomach growled, and she put a hand to it in reflexive embarrassment. When she looked up, the girl was gone.

...

Takahata Takamichi, completely unrelated to a certain little dress-wearing pink-blasting engine of destruction except during the occasional typo, was idly walking along, enjoying the quiet tranquility of the world around him and thinking of French toast and waffles. Sure, in a couple of minutes he'd likely be called to get a cat out of a tree or save orphans from a burning building or something, but for now he relaxed. This was what they'd fought for, all those years ago. Not having to worry about being wiped from existence or being manipulated to destroy others by Cosmo Enchilada– the name of a now-popular chain of restaurants. It would have been monstrous if Dynamis wasn't such a good mascot.

A short, lanky red-haired boy crossed his path, scowling down at the map in his hands and muttering under his breath in what was probably an unflattering manner, if a map could be unflattered. A long, thin bundle hung on his back, in what was apparently a custom-made bag. He looked up and spotted Takamichi, and put on a smile that would have had women considering some illegal things. He bowed low. "Excuse me sir. I'm sort of lost. Could you please direct me to–" he consulted his map "– Starbooks Coffee? I'm supposed to meet someone there, but I'm sort of new to the area…"

"No problem," Takahata said helpfully, taking the map from the boy and noting it seemed to be written in either Russian or Bulgarian, he couldn't tell. He managed to find where they currently were with some difficult, then gave the boy some directions. The boy thanked him profusely, and ran off. Takamici chuckled. Ah, youth. Always so energetic. It reminded him of Negi when he was younger. Come to think of it, it reminded him of Negi now.

Chuckling at the thought, he didn't notice the dark-skinned, red-haired girl carrying a big, wooden-cabinet-like backpack until she coughed behind him. She was a small thing, barely bigger than the boy had been, and apparently no older, though Takamichi was disturbed to see she was ridiculously over-endowed for her size, and he could just make out the barest traces of a bra through her white sundress. "Excuse me sir," she said sounding almost formal, and very composed. "But could you please direct me to Starbooks Coffee?"

Takamichi blinked, but obligingly repeated his previous directions. "Are you meeting your friends too?" he asked.

Her eyes narrowed. "'Too'?" she repeated.

"A young boy just passed by asking exactly the same thing," Takamichi said. "Was he one of your friends?"

Her face became alarmed, then determined. "So, it's begun, has it? I must be off sir. Thank you for your time." Then, oddly, she procured a pad of paper, wrote something on it, and took out a few coins, and handed both to him before running off.

Bemused, Takamichi looked at the note. "Receipt," it said, "To bearer for consultation and directions, paid in the amount of 20 Yen."

As Takamichi pondered exact what sort of person would give a receipt to someone for giving them directions and wondering if he should be annoyed, a teenaged girl with long, nigh-floor-length red hair walked past him, frowning solemnly as she stared at a map.

Takamichi did a double take. "Arika-sama?-!" he cried in surprise, his cigarette falling from his mouth.

The girl froze. "I'm sorry, you mush have mistaken me for someone else," she said, her voice at a ridiculously high falsetto that just had to put on. "I am but a perfectly ordinary teenager! Nothing special about me at all! Oh my, look at the time, got to go!"

Takamichi blinked as he found himself staring at an expanding dust cloud and a rapidly shrinking silhouette. He frowned. He took out his cell phone, intending to call in the aberrant event…

"Excuse me!" a voice said behind him. It was female, adorable and utterly disarming. He, of course, turned around.

A pair of creepy red eyes stared back at him.

Two seconds later, Takamichi was passed out on the ground, drooling as he slept.

The girl in purple giggled. "Man, that gets them every time." She looked up, smirking at something unseen. "Look out world! Traveling across time with illegal True Magic, braving paradox to obtain my selfishly happy ending, and damn everyone else who gets in my way, I, Illyria Einzbern-Springfield, have come to Mahora to win the Holy Grail: The heart of Negi Springfield!"

She threw back her head and laughed, her pinkish-orange hair fluttering in a convenient breeze.

Behind her, two other girls waited patiently. One checked the fanfic's script, and coughed meaningfully.

"Ahem! With the assistance of my allies, of course," Illyria said. "My cousin/sister/alternate-universe-double/half-sister Nikuro–"

"I know who I am, Illyria," Nikuro Einzbern-Springfield said, looking completely identical to Illyria except for the fact she had dark skin and golden eyes. That, and her clothes. There's no point mentioning them, as it would put us dangerously close to purple prose territory. She gave Illyria a look that stood between annoyed, amused, and lustful. "Honestly, did you inherit your mom's mental problems too?"

Illyria sniffed. "Nasu-chan, Nikuro's being mean!"

"She is merely having her 'Character Establishing Scene'," Nasu, the last girl, who contrary to the trend so far had dark hair, if slightly tinged with red at the edges, said, voice nearly monotonous, as she pointed to the script she was holding. "As, in fact, are we all. I have seen it is so beyond the walls of time and space."

Nikuro shook her head. "This 'Seeing Beyond The Walls Of Time And Space' ability of yours is weird, Nasu. What exactly does 'seeing beyond the wall beyond three none else see' really mean, anyway?"

Nasu just smiled and winked at the readers.

Nikuro blinked, looking between Nasu and where she'd been looking and finding nothing there. "Did you have something in your eye, Nasu-chan?"

"Come," Nasu said, changing the subject. "Let us continue. We must end this scene now so we can arrive at our destination off-screen." She began walking.

The other two exchanged confused, suffering looks. "Nasu-chan, what the hell are you talking about!-?" Illyria asked as the two of them walked to catch up to her.

The scene ended, leaving Takamichi passed out on the ground, thinking of French Toast and Waffles…

...

At the airport, Nekane, Nagi and Arika finally got through customs and baggage claim, to be met by Eishun. There was manly punching and bowing, and then they piled into a vehicle to head for MAahora to be present at the upcoming graduation…

Right behind them, a blonde teenager wearing dark sunglasses and a newspaper in front of his face– upside down, of course– quickly got into a taxi being driven by an Indian man. "Follow that car, please," he said.

"Following that car," the taxi driver said, deadpan, and began to go after them…

...

Konoka began to dial… only to be pulled back by Setsuna at the last second, as a thrown blade passed through the space her hand had just been, barely missing and imbedding itself into the concrete.

"Konoe Konoka!" a high-pitched, slightly giggly and disturbingly familiar voice cried from atop the nearest lamppost. A pink-haired girl stood there, wearing loligoth cloths so frilly, loaded with so many bells and whistles and ribbons and ruffles, and exuding so much perverse sexuality for a completely concealing garment that Evangeline would have gotten jealous stood there, a blade in each hand, various bandoliers stuck through with throwing knives wrapped around various parts of her body and somehow accentuated her clothes. "For the offenses you have perpetrated against my mother, I shall kill you and see you trouble us no longer! Die!"

She charged, stepped on her skirt, gave a cry and fell face first on the ground.

No one moved, everyone tense for some sort of surprise attack.

Chisame sighed. "We're rehearsing a scene for a movie our club is making!" she said.

Everyone not Ala Alba shrugged and went about their business, though some stayed to watch.

Finally, the girl staggered to her feet, face scrunched piteously as she held a hand up to her bleeding nose and moaning in pain. "Ow owie! That hurts!"

Chao stared, then looked at her time machine suspiciously. "Um, is this anyone you know?"

Everyone shook their heads.

Asuna, of course, took the lead. "Hey, you! just what the hell do you think you're doing, trying to attack Konoka like that?-!" she demanded.

"I'm trying to get revenge, duh," the girl said, voice now slightly nasally as she knelt, holding her stomach. "If I kill her, mother will have what she wishes! The future will be mine!"

At that moment, something fell from her pocket, tinkling onto the ground. It was a golden pocketwatch.

Everyone blinked. Slowly, they turned to look at Chao, staring at the identical watch she still held.

"This," Asuna said, glaring at the self-proclaimed time-traveling Martian, "Is all your fault somehow. I just know it."

Chao actually looked offended. "Me? How could this possibly be my fault?"

"You're the only time traveler I know!" Asuna cried, pointing. "Who else should I blame?-!"

"That you know," Chao said.

Asuna froze. "Did you just say–"

"I don't recall saying anything!" Chao interrupted. She frowned at the girl. "Who exactly are you, girl?" she asked. "How do you have my technology?"

The girl, to her credit, tried to stand up straight and look composed. "My name," she said proudly, or as proudly as someone talking with a nasal voice through ha bloody nose could be, "Is Aoyama Amaterasu! Daughter of Tsukuyomi!"

"WHAT!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!" they all cried.

The girl continued, pointing at Konoka. "Konoe Konoka! First you took my mother's beloved Setsuna-sempai away from her with your harlotous, succubus-like ways, evilly seducing her away from her rightful beloved with your big breasts and money and that thing you can do with your tongue!" Amaterasu declared. "But this victory wasn't enough for you, for you had to also steal away Negi-papa with your big breasts and your threesome orgies, leaving my mother pregnant and destitute while you had you big happy marriage with Negi-papa and your concubine Setsuna! Now, I have come to avenge my mothers honor by killing you and chaning time so that my mother can have Negi-papa and her Setsuna-sempai as she should!"

Setsuna and Negi had paled, while Makie had stuck out her tongue, looking at it curiously as she looked sideways at Konoka, who simply looked shocked.

Chisame summed it up. "Oh, crap."

...

- To be continued...

...

A/N: This is an Elseworld, meaning it's loosely (VERY loosely) similar to the canon of my 2814 fics. Gives me more options that way. Maybe. Possibly. I haven't decided yet.

Chrono, in the first Nanoha series, is a 14 year-old who looks the same age as Nanoha. Negi is 14 here, so I can barely get it to squeak by.

Anya seems western-European to me. Her name seems that way, anyway.

For some reason, I have recently seen Nodoka as an extremely viable candidate for the Order of Fate in my 2814 fics, and am resisting the terribly overpowering urge to give her a yellow ring…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.