This is just a random one short. I have been ill, so I decided to write for fanfiction. Ben and Jerry's plus Saw, equals...something like this (: Enjoy!


The sweet smell of chocolate fudge filled the air as I entered the kitchen. John, stood holding a mixing bowl, was muttering something almost inaudible to himself. I glanced over at him while crossing the room to get cream for my coffee.

"You know...they say talking to your self is the first sign of madness" I stated while pouring the creamy substance into the thick black liquid, making it turn a deep beige like colour.

"Actually" John replied, without looking up "They say it is the third."

"What's the first two?" I walked over to his side to watch as he added sugar into the bowl, along with chocolate chunks, milk, flour and eggs.

He turned to me, his deep sapphire eyes meeting mine, almost challenging them.

"They say the second sign of madness is seeing thick, black hairs growing out of your hand" I knitted my brow together, lifting my hand to peer across the taut skin on the back, searching out of curiosity.

John continued "The first sign is looking for them" he delivered, a smile cracking his face as he watched me. I dropped my hand straight away, blood rushing through the capillaries surrounding my face. I hated to be shown up, especially in front of John. I never admit it, but I saw him as a somewhat role model.

Amanda made her grand entrance, by cursing over the phone at someone. God knows who. I felt empathy for them though. She was one scary, crazy bitch. I could take her though, she was dangerous, but she wasn't me. She soon terminated the call to find all eyes on her. A genuine smile crossed her face as she glanced from John to me, then me to John.

"What have you guys been doing?" she inquired as she made herself a coffee, also with milk.

"Confusing Mark" John answered on my behalf. She scoffed as she added sugar, cream.

"Well, that's not very hard to achieve" She shot a smirk towards me.

"Stop flirting with me. Pervert." I replied, sipping my coffee, trying to avoid blushing any more, burning my lip in the process.

Amanda, herself, blushed a deep red. I glanced across at John, who was staring at Amanda, a frown connecting his brow as he tried to read her. Why was she blushing like that? She wasn't really trying to flirt with me. Right?

"Any way" Amanda abruptly said, almost yelling, while trying to change the now awkward atmosphere, "What you making John?" She asked John, hoping he would not question her about her sudden shyness due to Mark.

"Chocolate fudge cupcakes" John replied, smiling. He turned the mocha brown mixture against the insides of the cream ceramic bowl.

"What for? I mean, you have never really baked anything, let alone dessert type sweets" I stated. John once again peered into my eyes. He seemed to be reading me, just as he had done to Amanda. We were both used to Johns stare. It was deep, meaningful. Legendary.

"You have both been working so hard recently. I think you deserve a little treat." He finished by ruffling my thick hair. I shook my head in disapproval, like an embarrassed teenager. Felt like one too.

"I've obviously worked the hardest, I mean, I have given up so much" She added lightly.

I scoffed as I replied "Yeah right, anyone up for killing some randomers without giving them chances?"

Amanda walked over and slapped me harshly. "Ow" I winced, pretending to be scared.

"Stop it both of you. Neither of you will win if you are both sat here" John interrupted.

"Hey, we aren't kids you know" I protested, my fingers combing through my now messy hair.

"Oh shush now Mark. First one to get me the takeaway menu gets dibs on the choice of pizza"

Me and Amanda both chuckled. "You cant seriously think-" I started, but I stopped when I gazed upon Amanda. I noticed she was slowly edging her way towards the desk where we kept the menus. "Oh no you don't!" I shouted as I dashed pasted her. I felt her hands grip at the fabric of my shirt, trying to pull me back, with no success.

"Mark!" She screamed as she tried to catch up with me. I got to the desk first, of course, although Amanda was not far behind. We both shoved our hands in the small space inside, searching for the right menu. We bickered as we continued searching.

A familiar, gravely laugh came from behind us. We turned to see John, chuckling as he read the menu we were desperately searching for. "But we...what?" We said in unison as we gaped at the old man, holding the mixture bowl in one hand, menu in the other.

"That's not fair" Amanda complained as she strode towards John. Man, she has balls.

"Life's not fair Amanda" John looked up for a moment, then down again. He turned back, into the kitchen where he began to spoon the mixture into the metal dents of the cupcake tray.

"Well, why do you get to win? We didn't even get a chance. Isn't that what your work is about? Chances?" Amanda spoke without thinking. Then a hand came up over her mouth. Too late. Oh, she really has balls!

John stopped spooning the mixture. He turned, walked the short distance over the wooden floor. Stopped right in front of the young, now anxious girl. "You know what Amanda, you know the reason I win?" He asked, slowly. She could only nod. He continued, "Because...I own, bitch"

As soon as the words left his mouth, I let loose a charade of laughter. Tears came streaming down my eyes. Amanda turned, gave me a threatening look.

"Your face!" I shouted at her, taunting. "Oh, you shit yourself! You totally kegged it!" I howled, my stomach starting to hurt from laughter, as I wiped away the salty tears cascading down my hot cheeks. Now it was Amanda's turn to blush. She looked down to avoid the additional laughter of John. He was also close to tears.

"You guys aren't funny!" Amanda whined like a humiliated child.

I walked over to her, hunched, and ruffled her long mocha hair. "Oh, your so cute when your embarrassed" I gasped in between bouts of laughter. Then realised what I had said. Damn. John was too busy laughing to hear me, and Amanda had not seem to have heard me. She stood, fixing her hair while shaking her head. Phew.

"So I guess you get dibs?" I asked John to confirm, as well as to get over my minor slip up.

"No, you guys go half and half if you want. We will go super size. I feel like pigging out." John mumbled as he continued spooning the mixture into the holes.

"-are you any good at cooking? I mean, I've never eaten anything you have made before" Amanda inquired, sipping at her creamy coffee. She was talking to John, although her deep eyes were on me, taking in my image. The pools of chocolate seemed to change depending on how she was feeling. I could read them like a book. From the hot white flash that crossing her iris when frustrated, or the swirling motions that possess them when she is upset.

I twisted my body to pay attention to John, instead of the brown eyed stare I was receiving over creamy coffee.

"-I'm sure you will enjoy them later, when they are done." Now he was bent over slightly, shoving the full tray into the pre-heated oven.

"Now then" He continued "Let's get that food ordered. I'm famished"

"Pizza isn't good for a man in your condition" Amanda advised, her palm flat upon his head to check temperature. No doubt, she was looking out for him, as usual.

"Well, I might have a good life while I can...mother" He added extra emphasis for the last part. Crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes, mouth as he smiled at both of us.

The chimes of the doorbell rang throughout the house as the pizza man arrived. Amanda went to get the food, while I grabbed a few dishes, John finding a film to watch. I never admitted this either, but I loved these types of nights where we were all together, just relaxing and watching films. Usually we watched horrors. Amanda often laughed at them, while John would scold her "Murders not a laughing matter" he would often say. I just sat back, watching them. The closest thing to a connection I had.

We all sat, on the ground as usual, in front of the television, a box of pizza in front of us. My half, meat feast, Amanda's, pepperoni. I leaned back, my eyes closing, a moan escaped my throat as the meaty juices filled my mouth, the meat, cheese and tomato all coming together.
"Its not that good you know" Amanda teased biting into a hot slice of pepperoni layered triangle bread.

"Oh it is. Pepperoni, sausage, meatball, bacon and onions. Mouthgasm!" I yelled the last word almost triumphantly, one fist pounding the air. Amanda laughed, while John frowned at me. Probably the last word that caught him off balance. He himself was enjoying the pepperoni side of things.

"Aww, come on you too. Have some meat of the feast! You only live once...right?" I leaned towards John as I muttered the last part. He raised his brow, lines appearing on his forehead. I turned my pizza, amiss a bite, towards Amanda. She glanced at the thing, then leaned forwards, taking a small bite. "Oh come on, be a man!" I taunted. She huffed, then took a bigger bite, her eyes on me once again. A moan escaped her as she chewed on the food, swallowed.

My eyes widened as I watched her, I couldn't quite describe what I was feeling in that moment. She's really pretty...in a...ermm...cute sort of way. "It is quite nice actually" She muttered when she had finished.

We both turned to John, we had forgot he was there. He was sat, eyes wide watching is, pizza in one hand. "-the fuck..." He mouthed. "I ermm...should go check the cupcakes" He said then walked towards the kitchen.

I turned towards Amanda. "What was all that about?" I pondered.

"What?"

"That?"

"..." Her shoes seemed interesting all of a sudden as she avoided the question.

"You were kinda right...It isn't THAT good" I chuckled as I ate some more pizza.

We sat in silence for a few moments, before she spoke. "Mark...there has been something I've been wanting to tell you"

"Yes, Amanda?" I replied. I didn't know whether to be scared or anticipative. A range of things ran through my mind. She was a man? A drag queen, a stripper. Actually...that last one might not be that much of a problem...My mind ran away with me. Then John walked in, a black plate in his hands. He set the plate in front of us, Amanda been silenced automatically. "Well...dig in" He smiled with pride.

We sat back, against the leather chairs, fully gorged on pizza and chocolate. "Mmm those cupcakes were damn fine" Amanda praised as we watched the reminder of Repo! The genetic opera.
"Yeah" I agreed, patting John on the back. His shoulder shook a little. "Sorry, don't know my own...rather impressive strength" I apologised as I flexed my arms up, striking a pose.

Amanda giggled. John shook his head. I swear he even muttered "Dick head..." as a joke of course.

John reached forwards and grasped the second last cupcake. "I must say, these are quite irresistible" He mummered as he ran his finger around the edge, gathering fudge sauce, then slid the finger into his mouth, eating the sauce. "Oh look, only one left" He continued, glancing at me then Amanda.

A devilish grin wrapped Amanda's features as she grabbed the cupcake and fled.

"OH NO SHE DI-ENT!" I yelled as I leapt after her. I found her in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, about to take a bite of MY cupcake.

"DAMN IT WOMAN" I shouted as I attacked her. She squealed, then ran around me back into the front room. She ran past John, about to exit up the stairs when I pounced on her. We landed on the couch, the cupcake somehow still fully formed.

Amanda shrieked as I tickled her stomach, hoping for her to drop the cupcake. "No...its mine..." She managed in between short giggles. One hand clawed at the cupcake, the other still tickling her stomach.

I saw a figure out of the corner of my eye, a dark figure, walking towards us slowly. Probably John coming to lecture us, or help me tickle Amanda...hopefully.

He leaned down towards Amanda. A sly smile slid across his face as he reached down and removed the sweet cupcake from her clutch. Both me and Amanda stopped, looked up at John as he grinned down at us.

"I still own...bitches" He laughed as he consumed the cupcake in front of us.

"NOOOOO...MY CUPCAKE!" we blurted as we watched. John, laughing, walked away as we lay on the couch, grieving for the long lost cupcake.


Just because John rocks. Aha. Thanks for reading (: Reviews are loved!