A/N: The second real chapter is way more romantic, it's also set during Twilight, more precisely during the month after the van accident in Twilight in which Edward and Bella didn't speak to each other.


Wind and Window Flower

Lovers, forget your love,
And list to the love of these,
She a window flower,
And he a winter breeze.

When the frosty window veil
Was melted down at noon,
And the caged yellow bird
Hung over her in tune,

He marked her through the pane,
He could not help but mark,
And only passed her by
To come again at dark.

He was a winter wind,
Concerned with ice and snow,
Dead weeds and unmated birds,
And little of love could know.

But he sighed upon the sill,
He gave the sash a shake,
As witness all within
Who lay that night awake.

Perchance he half prevailed
To win her for the flight
From the firelit looking-glass
And warm stove-window light.

But the flower leaned aside
And thought of naught to say,
And morning found the breeze
A hundred miles away.

Robert Frost

Another day of torture. Another day I had to live with the feeling my throat was on fire. And another day I had to face and try to repress the overwhelming and impossible love I felt for Isabella Swan. Impossible because I couldn't even be close to her without holding back – or attempting to hold back – the monster inside me, which was constantly trying to break free of the cage I'd locked him in to prevent me of doing what almost felt natural: feeding. Letting the hot blood that pumped through her veins caress my tongue…

No. I had to stop thinking things like that.
I would not kill Bella, I… loved her. This sentence had become almost a mantra in my head the last couple of days.
I'd never experienced love before – not even once in my a hundred and eight years – except the love I felt for my family. But that love was absolutely nothing compared to the feelings that crashed over me when I saw Bella. She was the most important person in my world now, more important than anyone of my family, and I knew I wouldn't hesitate one second to fight one of them if they tried to hurt Bella.

My love for Bella was a blessing – I'd finally found a reason to live, a reason to keep living my meaningless immortal life – as well as a torment – no matter how much I wanted to stay with her, to protect her and hold her, I couldn't, it was too dangerous. I had to stay away from her, I had to ignore her to keep her safe, to protect her from what I am. Of course I knew my behavior was rude, I knew that it hurt her and that she was wondering what she'd done wrong.

'You've done nothing wrong!' I wanted to scream at her. 'It's me, Bella, love! Can't you see how madly, desperately in love I am with you?'

Instead I just made her believe that I ignored her, though that was the exact opposite of what I was doing. I watched her every move from the corners of my eyes, I made sure she was safe and didn't hurt herself and I marveled over her beauty. Every time she walked into the room, she took my breath away; every time I looked at her I swear my dead heart swelled with love and adoration.

At first the burning thirst had been the only fire in my body, but then I had seen her beauty, the endless depth of her chocolate brown eyes; I had noticed the mystery her mind formed, I was captivated by the gravity that seemed to surround her… And now I was burning with love, passion and desire too… It felt like I should be a pile of ashes now, I'd thought the fire in my throat alone would be enough to burn my entire body, but it seemed like the other fires were even worse. They consumed everything, even the thirst I had once considered irresistible.

So you would think I would have gotten used to all those things, and yet this day was exactly the same. The red haze of jealousy blurred my sight again when I saw Bella talking to Mike Newton as she entered the classroom; my muscles tensed as her scent filled my nostrils before I carefully locked up the monster that raged inside me, and the urge to protect the fragile girl I loved so much came back, if possible even stronger than before.

I held my breath when she sat down next to me. She looked at me from the corner of her eye and I tried to control my expression, focusing on the teacher in the front of the class, making her believe she had no effect on me at all. She sighed softly and for one time I could guess her thoughts: she thought I was being rude again, that I didn't care about her, that I regretted saving her… I just wished I could explain how much she meant to me.
She let her hair hang down over her shoulder, creating a wall between us.

'No! Let me see your face, Bella, please…' I was pleading with her in my thoughts, begging her to let me see her face, just once again…

Almost as if she'd heard my thoughts, as if she responded to my pleas, she flung her hair back so I could print her face in my memory, just in case…

A/N: Please review if you have anything to say, it means so much to me!