(Seriously? How long has it been since I last updated? Years?

Well, I got around to finishing this chapter. A little disappointing...but it's leading up to the near climax of the story. Enjoy)

Chapter 35 - Broken Pride

"He asked you to do WHAT now?"

The RED Scout sighed as he leaned against the remaining wall of the destroyed cabin. Part of him was regretting seeking advice from his BLU counterpart, but then again, he didn't have anyone else to ask.

When he had the chance, he snuck out in the middle of the night to locate the BLU Scout's room. He almost got caught a couple of times, but his lightning-fast reaction time got him in and out of the base before anyone - especially that BLU Spy - suspected a RED was in the base.

It was simple: Wait for another rest period between endless fights and tell the BLU Scout what was going on. Easy. The trick was to explain it quickly to his counterpart in a single breath before running back to the RED base like a bat out of hell. The Scout was lucky the BLU Scout was smarter than he looked.

On a side note - despite their similar appearances -The RED Scout always thought the BLU Scout looked a little dorky. Then again, anyone who proved to be smarter than him was always dubbed that title in his mind.

"This is the third time you asked me, man," said the RED Scout. "And I still haven't changed my answer. That should probably tell ya somethin'."

"Sorry, sorry, it-it's just kind of a shock that he would ask that of ya." The BLU Scout muttered.

"Whaaaat? He never put a teammate in a situation like that before?" asked the RED Scout, sarcastically. The BLU Scout shrugged.

"No. But th-th-this is the first time he actually put someone else before him th-though," he said innocently. "He may seem like a nice guy at times, but he was pretty selfish."

Cue the awkward silence. The two Scouts just sat on the ground with their backs against the wall, looking in opposite directions to avoid making eye contact with the other. It gave the Scout a brief moment to think about what he was actually going to do: Keep the Spycrab, or man up and actually break this curse and send the man back to his team.

If he kept the Spycrab with him, he'd have a friend and an advantage against the BLU team since the little crab took up a habit of coming with the Scout onto the field. On the other hand...well, at the moment, he didn't have any advantages or disadvantages for returning the Spy to his team. Aside from the fact that he'd be kissing a crab, he was still against the idea, even if it worked or not!

"Isn't this the part where you try talkin' me into returning your teammate?" asked the RED Scout.

"I...I've actually been thinking about that a bit," The BLU Scout admitted. He was fidgeting a bit. "Y'know...our new Spy is becoming less of a dick these days and..." Scout let out a loud annoyed groan.

"Oh don't tell me you're goin' soft on me, man!"

"A change in opinion isn't goin' soft, fella," said the BLU Scout.

"A few months ago you hated that jackass!"

"Yeah, but he's lightened up a bit..."

"Maybe on you, but he still wants to jump rope around the field with my guts!"

"Oh yeah, forgot about that." The RED Scout's eye twitched a bit.

"How can you possibly forget about tha- oh forget it!"

"See? That was easy."

"Just stop talking."


A short pause.

"So...what do you think I should do?" Scout asked, reluctantly. The Scout looked at his counterpart from the corners of his eyes, seeing what appeared to be just a smidge of a dreamy smile from the BLU.

"I don't think it's my place to say," The BLU answered. "He asked you to choose what should happen to him, not me."

"Jeeze...you're no help at all." complained the RED Scout.

"Why am I getting' th-this feeling that you have an answer already...but you-you're just being a pain in the ass to answer it yourself?"

The Scout froze at that question. When the BLU Scout tried giving him the 'look', he just turned his head to avoid making eye contact again. He had a feeling if he tried the usual denial, the BLU was just going to continue pushing and pushing the subject. After a while it tended to get annoying.

Still, even with the BLU Scout staring at him with a really creepy unblinking look, the Scout felt himself looking down a bit in guilt. This made his counterpart smile.

"You like him, don't ya?"

"ONLY AS A FRIEND!" Scout said defensively.

"I wasn't accusing you of being gay," said the BLU calmly. "Wh-which is a shame. I, myself, as a bisexual find you to be kinda-"

"Please, just stop talkin'." begged Scout.


Scout sighed in relief.

"So, you were saying..." The BLU Scout said. Scout calmed down, getting back on track again.

"I...well...I dunno...I like havin' him around...he's pretty much my only friend here on the field and he's the only one I can talk to these days." He looked at his counterpart. "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but all my teammates think I'm crazy and yell at windows."

"I have seen you yell at windows on occasion." commented the BLU Scout.

"Shut up." Scout said, flatly. "Anyway..., I'd like to have him stick around, but...I dunno. I just feel guilty keepin' him as, y'know, a crab. Nobody can hear him and I'm the only one he has to talk to. What if I meet an attractive chick and have hot straight sex? Then he's all alone!"

"You...can stop putting so much emphasis that you're straight, I get it." muttered the BLU Scout.

"If that happens then I'll be known as the freak who yells at windows and has a blue colored crab as a pet!" continued Scout. "Well, they already think the Spy is my pet crab since technically it was the Heavy who brought him to me in the first place, but STILL, that just ain't cool!"

The BLU Scout kept his mouth shut, seeing how Scout finally let out what he kept bottled up for so long.

"I just don't know what's gonna happen if me kissin' him does turn him back human, what then? He can't go back to BLU because your jackass of a Spy took his place and he can't stay with me because he's still technical a BLU himself. I'd keep him in my closet if I could, but he's not a freakin' troll!" Scout had to take a moment to catch his breath. "Is-isn't that considered human trafficking after a while?"

The BLU Scout just shrugged as a response. Scout signed as he looked down at the ground again, almost shamefully.

"What if...what if I'm not good enough?" He asked, meekly. "I've never kissed anyone before." The BLU finally spoke up.

"Th-there's nothing wrong with that. If anything, it'd probably make th-the moment even more special."

"You're makin' it gay again." muttered Scout.

"How 'bout you get your head out of your ass and stop worrying about what others might think and be more concerned about your own feelings!" The BLU Scout snapped.

Scout blinked in surprise. It wasn't everyday that his counterpart would get annoyed with him. Actually, he thought that was impossible seeing how the guy was smiling and commenting on how awesome life was all of the time.

"Look, I know you're all about your reputation, especially wi-with your teammates, but you have the right be happy as well," continued the BLU. "Sure, they might judge and made fun of ya, but think about it; They're armed with words and insults, and you have a freakin' gun. Which do you think is gonna be more effective?"

Scout nodded, agreeing with that. He still didn't know what he wanted to do. However, he knew that if he did choose to turn the Spycrab back human again, at least he'd know how the handle from his teammates if they found out.

"Want to practice on me?" offered the BLU Scout. Scout blinked.

"Wait, what?! Are you freakin' kidding me right now?!"

"I helped a lot of my friends when they wanted to practice so they'd be more prepared with their girlfriends," The BLU explained.

"You had a gay kissing crime ring?! That's sick!" Scout cringed.

"You want help on this or not?"

There was, yet again, another long and awkward pause of silence. The BLU Scout just kept a half-lidded glance at his RED counterpart, while Scout looked every which way with his eyes. His face slowly glowed more and more red. Eventually, the RED Scout looked to the side to think about it before he looked back at the BLU.

"Your friends had girlfriends, right? How'd they do it?" He asked, almost timidly. The BLU shrugged.

"Most told me they just closed their eyes and imagined they were kissing Marilyn Monroe."

"Really? Did it work?"

"Well…seeing how they had to call their parents to bring them clean pants...I would say so."


"So, you want to practice on me?" The BLU Scout offered again.


"Sure…" answered Scout, reluctantly. "Why not, Miss Marilyn Monroe?"