Dearest Readers,

Please don't hurt me for starting another story when I already have 4 others in the works. ^^; In my defense, I'm not sure if I'm continuing "Wash Me Clean"…so there.

I hate losing ideas, so that's why I start a lot of stories and it takes me forever to finish them. ^^;

*There's a few songs in here as well that I will tell you what they are at the end of the chapter they're in.

*There are a lot of time lapses in the first part of the story, however, these lapses are necessary. It is because of these time lapses that may make the story seem like it's rushing…it's not, it's just that a lot of time…is passing in a short amount of time (if that makes sense).

*Itachi is a little bit OOC

*There's use of profanity

*Includes Mpreg

Read on, Cherubs.

Over and out.


All around the village, he was known for being lazy, unmotivated, and a genius. He knew he was all three things, so he didn't try to convince people otherwise…that would be too much work to do anyway. He heard what people in the village said about him, he wasn't deaf or stupid. They thought that he didn't know what they said about him, but he knows their opinions beyond his three most prominent characteristics.

One of the many things that people wonder about him is how can a genius be extremely lazy and unmotivated. It was one that he hears quite often and when the question is fired at him, he shrugs it off and returns to what he was doing before being interrupted. He knew why he was so lazy and unmotivated, but he didn't like talking about it. He also knew how he became to be as smart as he is…again, he didn't like talking about it.

He was walking through the center of the village like he usually does whenever he wanted to be around people, but not talk to them. He was passing by the ramen restaurant that they usually eat at and stopped when he heard his name.

"I just don't understand it," Ino was saying, "how can someone with a mind like Shikamaru's be the laziest person in the history of the world?"

"I don't know, but honestly…I'm getting kind of tired of trying to motivate him to do something. He's my best friend, but it's really annoying and frustrating when he doesn't want to do anything except look at the stupid sky." Choji said, taking a huge bite of ramen.

"If I had a brain like his, I would actually do something with it. Out of all the people who could be a genius, why did it have to be a lazy and unmotivated jackass?" Naruto said irritated, staring up at the ceiling mindlessly.

"We need to talk some sense into him; he needs to realize that he can't be this way anymore." Sakura added, looking at Ino's determined face.

"You know, if you think about it…" Kiba started, looking thoughtful.

"What is it?"

"Let's think about this for a minute. Why is it that Shikamaru is the only one out of all of us who became a Chunnin?" They thought about it for a moment and then it dawned on them.

"Because he's the smartest strategist…not the best ninja in skills." Ino said slowly, making the others realize what Kiba was implying.

"Exactly, so why have him be a ninja in our village if the only thing he can do is be smart? He can't really help defend our village; just provide ways on how to defend it. Let's face it, when it comes to skills and techniques…he's useless."

Shikamaru walked away at that point, his heart feeling heavy and his eyes growing wet. So that's what they truly think of him…his own friends and teammates think he's…useless. God, even Choji was against him. Choji gave up on him, Ino thinks that he's the laziest person to ever exist, and they all think he's useless. Kiba basically asked why should he be a ninja…why should he ever stay here.

He found himself at the top of his favorite hill to watch the clouds. He doesn't want to do anything except stare at the stupid sky. He felt a tear run down his at his supposed best friend's words. Unknown to anyone in the village, he's put up with a lot from them all. The insults, looks, everything…he never talks about his personal life…and no one has asked why.

The wheels in his head started to turn: why should he stay here? If his friends and teammates think he's useless…why bother staying around? He looked at the trees to his right; there were only two questions on his mind now: Where would he go? And would anyone even miss him?


He curled himself up at the corner of the couch with a notepad on his lap. Since he's going to leave, he might as well tell everyone his reason for leaving and his true feelings towards all of them. He wrote his words carefully, wanting them to see that he thought through this letter purposefully.

By the time he had finished the letter, it was dark outside. It was the perfect time to leave...all he had to do was pack and be on his way. He ripped the letter off of the notepad, folded it and placed it in his back pocket along with a tack to pin it against a tree at the training grounds.

He walked to his room and began to pack as many things as he could, only taking the things he really needed like clothes and medical supplies. After packing, he swung his bag onto his back and was about to leave when something caught his eye. It was a picture of his team and another one of all of them together, including their senseis. He dropped his bag onto his bed and pulled both pictures out of their frames and laid them on the nightstand, grabbing a pen from his desk. His dark eyes drifted over their faces, feeling his anger rise within him. If his friends and teammates felt the way they said earlier, chances are…the senseis did as well. He began to scribble out their faces angrily, making sure that the majority of their faces were covered in black scribbles. He grabbed two more tacks from his desk; he was going to hang these along with his letter on the tree before he left the village.

Making sure he had everything, he walked out of his room and turned off all the lights in the apartment, locked the door and left…and didn't look back. He made it to the training grounds in record time and he stood in front of the tree that they always meet at before they begin their training for the day. He pulled the tacks, letter, and pictures out of his pocket and pinned them to the tree, knowing that they would see them.

He removed his hair tie, his dark hair brushing against his shoulders slightly. He turned away from the tree and walked towards the woods in front of him. As he made it to the edge of the woods, he began to walk…not looking back at the village.


"Why do we have to meet an hour earlier than usual? Kakashi-Sensei won't be there!" Naruto whined as he walked towards the training grounds with his teammates and friends.

"I don't know, maybe the senseis felt like torturing us." Kiba yawned, scratching Akamaru behind the ears. It had become a routine for them: they would meet at the bridge every morning and walk to the training grounds together.

When they made it to the training grounds, they were surprised that Kakashi was actually there earlier. But then became worried at the concerned looks on their faces.

"Kakashi-Sensei…you're actually early." Naruto said, earning remorseful looks from Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai.

"What's wrong?" The senseis looked at each other, not sure how to break the news to them. Kakashi motioned for them to sit down, which they did, feeling their worry rise.

"Listen guys, we have something…difficult to tell you." Kakashi started, holding the letter and pictures in his hand.

"What is it?" Ino pressed, looking at him with shining eyes. Kakashi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Shikamaru left the village."

"What?" Ino and Choji shouted, jumping to their feet as Asuma stepped forward.

"Ino…Choji…I'm just as surprised by this as you are. However…he did leave a letter telling us why he left…and pictures." Asuma said as the senseis sat down with their students. Kakashi held up the pictures with black scribbles all over their faces. They stared dumbfounded at them.

"Why would he do that?" Ino asked quietly, her eyes growing wet.

"Let me read you what he had to say." Kakashi said, putting down the pictures and unfolding the letter. He took a deep breath and began to read.

To whom ever is reading this:

As my words flow from this ink, I can't help but to think of how you've deceived me…how you've betrayed me. You will never understand the damage that you're betrayal has had on me…never. You will never understand why I'm lazy. You'll never understand why I'm unmotivated and you'll never understand how I began a genius, for I can assure you that I was not born with these characteristics.

You think that I don't hear what you say behind my back…but I hear many things. You think that I don't care, but I do. Your words…your actions hurt me…wound me in ways that I cannot explain. For years, you've strung me along with your pretty smiles and happy lies…waiting for the perfect time to make me fall. Now that I have fallen, are you satisfied with yourself? Are you proud?

I was stupid to believe that I could trust you to be my friends, comrades, teammates, and mentors. Again with your pretty smiles and happy lies, you lured me towards you only to push me to the ground and smile down at me with satisfaction, contentment, and happiness.

For years I played your game; you made the rules and I obediently followed them. If one rule was broken, I was punished with harsh words. Around you, I'm a mere possession…only being used for my intelligence. You dehumanized me. However, I'm done with playing your game. I'm throwing the board back in your face and screaming at you to fuck the rules that you created. I am not longer your possession. I'm done. You tried to conform me, but I never wanted or needed to be one of you.

You say I'm useless. You say that I shouldn't stay. Now that I'm gone, are you happy now? I may be useless in your eyes…but if I was useless, then why have I been used more often than you? Why have people of high rank turned to me for ideas of what to do when away on a mission? I am not the one who is useless…it's you.

I don't know where I'm going, but anywhere is better than here. Even though I doubt that you'll search for me, I'm telling you not to. How can you find me if even I don't know where I'll be?


Kakashi folded the letter and looked up at them, seeing their wide eyed stares. Ino sniffed as her and the others started to feel guilty about their attitude towards Shikamaru. They were all to blame for his departure and they knew it. They didn't realize that their attitude towards him was that cold, but it seemed like it was too late to do anything about it.

"He…he won't come back…will he?" Ino asked quietly, looking at Asuma with glassy eyes.

"Honestly…I doubt he will. But like he said, we can't look for him if he doesn't know where he's going."

"There's another thing." Kakashi said, grabbing their attention. "There is one person we need to tell about this." They felt their hearts sink at who Kakashi was talking about: Tsunade.

"She's not going to take it well." Naruto said, knowing the Hokage's behavior very well.

"No, she's not. But she needs to know that her smartest strategist has left."


Alright Gang, reviews would be awesome and appreciated.