Disclaimer: I do not own Total drama Island or any of its characters and subsequent seasons; they are owned by Teletoon and also cartoon network. Every single contestant in this story is mine, similarities with any other authors characters is coincidential and not intended so if anyone is angry then sorry.

The Warning: Total Dram Islan's winner is mentioned so don't read if you don't want to be spoiled. This story contains bullying, some love, bad launguage, over the top feminism, nose picking and that sort of thing. Nothing M rated though.

Pairings: You'll have to wait and see but if you pay close attention some of them may be slightly hinted in the early chapters.

Note- I do not own the Alphabet idea; that belongs to Frank15. This story is dedicated to him so hopefully hell give it a read ... or not. Anyway; all credit goes to Frank15 for inspiration to start the story. And if you want to know what the characters actually look like then just go to my profile and follow the links to their pages. I've even got a promo! But be warned ... I write better than I draw

Now let's get this party started!


Chris Maclean, sadistic host and pretty boy was standing on the dock of shame. He seemed happy … a little too happy. As the intern cameraman set up the camera his finger trailed up to his right nostril and he began a full on nasal expedition.

"Yeah; that's the spot." Said Chris as he continued picking.

"We're filming Mr. Maclean." Said the intern in mild disgust.

"Wh – AH!" Said Chris as he quickly removed his finger and regained his posture. He flashed his well known grin for the camera and waved. "Hello viewers at home and prison; I'm Chris Maclean, THE hottest host in the universe, and I'm once again coming to you live from Wawanakwa Island, somewhere in Muskoka."

He walked the edge of the dock and looked at the briny blue sea before continuing.

"You all remember last season where Owen; the big guy, managed to win the season and become one hundred thousand dollars richer. Well not only have you been spoiled, haha, but also this season is a bit different ... this time the grand prize is going to be one … MILLION dollars!"

Chris grinned and clapped as he continued speaking for he loved the sound of his own voice.

"But don't get too excited just yet; you may remember the twenty two teens you knew and loved from last season … but this season we have twenty six new contestants! One for each letter of the alphabet! Because this season is called … Total Drama Letterz! We noticed that a select few channels refused to give us a time slot … apparently we weren't 'educational' enough; beatniks. Well maybe if we teach people about letters or something trivial then we can get on those channels and I can get a bigger pay check … and it'll be easier to remember who's who."

He rubbed his hands together at the thought of money.

"I bet you are going to want to ask a few questions like 'who are the new campers', 'what are their stereotypes' and 'will you just get on with it'? Well; all those questions will be answered very shortly because this season is going to start now! Sit your butt on the chair, grab a drink and fixate your eyes on the screen because this is Total Drama Letterz!"

(Theme song; I wanna be famous)


"And we're back from the song that bought us many fans and even more green paper." Laughed Chris. "The contestants are just about here but first I am required to read out this little disclaimer. Ahem 'Warning; the following challenges you see in this show are dangerous and should not be attempted at home, so please don't … No really; don't'. Well; now that the disclaimer is done it's time to meet our brand new contestants; starting with Oscar!"

A boat pulled up and a very muscular and strong teen got off. He had black eyes and neat brown hair. He wore a black exercise shirt. It was likely he had a six pack but it was hard to tell through the black fabric. He also wore red and blue checkered shorts and white trainers with red heels.

"So this is Wawanakwa Island huh?" Said Oscar. "I'm going to live up to my name and be a winner! It will take hard work, perseverance and sweat, but mostly sweat."

"Oscar! Our resident muscle man! Say; have you been working out?" Asked Chris.

"All day everyday." Replied Oscar. "I want to represent Canada at the Olympics."

"In what event?" Questioned Chris.

"The sport of kings; weight lifting." Said Oscar as he flexed.

"Well hopefully strength is going to be better than hair because here's Nakia!" Said Chris as he pointed to the boar that arrived.

Out of this boat came a medium sized blue eyed girl wearing a red denim shirt and a black skirt. She had yellowy brown shoes and her hair was brunette and very good looking and silky.

"Greetings Chris; my hair and I are accounted for and will be the winners of this contest."

"Err … I may only be a C student but I'm pretty sure hair isn't considered a person." Said Oscar with a little confusion.

"Eeeeeek!" Shrieked Nakia. "What's that on your head?"

"My hair … duh." Said Oscar with a raised eyebrow.

"THAT is hair? Maybe I could lend you some shampoo and hair gel?" Offered Nakia.

"I like it just how it is; I'm more concerned about my muscles than my hair." Replied Oscar as he took a dumbbell out of his bag and began lifting it up and down.

"Can't you just taste the ratings?" Asked Chris with a grin.

"Now you." Said Nakia nicely. "You unlike him, you have very nice hair."

"Thanks; I can see we'll get along just fine." Said Chris with a very rare smile. "Maybe you'll get along just as well with the next contestant, Xaria."

Xaria stepped off the next yacht and looked around. She wore a white shirt with a single orange square as well as pink cotton trousers and orange shoes. Her hair was black as well but with three yellow streaks which gave the impression of a bee.

"Not a good start to the competition; a filthy squalid boat." Grumbled Xaria. "You could have at least put some music on it."

"I thought the yacht was pretty good." Said Oscar as he continued weight lifting.

"Yuck! A muscle gorilla." Sighed Xaria. "Too many people in the world have muscles nowadays; so much for brains over brawn."

"I thought girls liked muscles." Said Oscar. "And my name is Oscar; nice to meet you."

"The feeling is not mutual." Said Xaria. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Nakia; you're hair is pretty good; the streaks really bring out the inner bumble bee."

"It's supposed to mean danger!" Cried Xaria in annoyance. "But stereotyping my hair aside; I'm Xaria with an X and not a Z, I'm semi pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Thanks … I think." Said Nakia uncertainly. "So; what do you think of the contest?"

"It's ok; but it isn't good enough; Chef Hatchet is going to cook garbage and Chris's wake up calls will be unbearable. But aside from absolutely everything it's not bad."

"Put on your nice faces people because the next contestant is Vinnie!" Said Chris as a guy got off the boat.

This guy was somewhat short with reddish hair, brown shoes and a Russian fur hat with an orange V. His shirt was blue sleeved while the rest was blue. His joggers were light brown. His shoes had blue soles and orange soles The most noticeable thing about him was that in place of his right arm was a robotic arm ending in pincers.

"Hi everyone." Said Vinnie with a wave. "How's it going?"

"Oooo; I can't judge your hair because of your hat." Whined Nakia.

"Well my hair isn't so bad; no need for a rating." Shrugged Vinnie.

"What happened to your arm?" Asked Xaria.

"Typical; one of the first things people ask me is how I lost my arm." Sighed Vinnie. "I don't know you well enough to get into it."

"Also typical; not telling me something because you think I'm not trustworthy." Complained Xaria.

"It's not that at all." Said Vinnie but it fell on deaf ears.

"Just my luck to be surrounded by jerks." Sighed Xaria.

"You sure do complain a lot don't you?" Said Oscar.

"I do not!" Gasped Xaria. "I'm just brave enough to say what I think."

"Introducing Spider!" Interrupted Chris as another guy got off the newly docked yacht.

Spider had brownish red hair with two points at the edge and a lot of single loose longer hairs here and there. His shirt was orange and had a grey capital S on it while his trousers were blue with yellow spots; below that was a pair of green shoes. It was quite clear he didn't look too good. His green eyes were dazed, his mouth was woozy and he had a hint of green on his cheeks. He was clearly sick

"Hi everyone." Said Spider with a gag. "I'm Spider; I'm here for the *cough* fresh air and the interesting people."

He walked towards the others and Nakia instantly backed off.

"Oh my god! Your hair! It's terrible!"

"I can't help it; all *splutter* the illnesses I've ever contracted make it go like that." Explained Spider.

"Are you sure you should be here?" Asked Oscar. "If you're sick then maybe you should be in bed."

"My doctor said fresh Island air would be good for me; maybe I'll get a little better." Said Spider as he sneezed.

"Are you ill often?" Asked Vinnie.

"All the time; for the last two years I've had some sort of unknown bug and nobody knows the cure. It's not fatal but it's kinda uncomfortable." Gagged spider as he sniffled.

"Yet another insane person." Sighed Xaria. "Why couldn't there have been another person who has sanity?"

"Here comes the next contestant; Quana." Said Chris as a girl got out of the yacht.

Quana was tan and held a microphone in one hand. Her hair was neat and black with two blond streaks. Her shirt was pink with a yellow music note and her trousers were dark green. On her feet were white tennis shoes with a small amount of black.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Waved Quana. "Time to start this party! With a song here and a high note there I'm sure everyone will get along."

"Not likely." Grumbled Xaria.

"You don't seem very happy." Noted Quana. "I think a good song will cheer you up."

Quana turned on her microphone and tapped a beat with her right foot.

"Cheer up, cheer up, it's alright; the happiness on the horizon is in sight." Sang Quana very impressively.

"Oh my gosh; that sucked!" Whined Xaria as she covered her ears.

"Well I thought *gag* it was really good." Said Spider with a smile before it turned into another gag.

"Thank you for your compliment." Said Quana with a smile.

"No, ooooooh, problem." Said Spider politely.

"Here's someone who may or may not be interesting." Said Chris as he gestured towards the approaching yacht. "It's raven."

The next boat arrived and out came another girl; though she came out slowly; she must have been shy. Once she was in sight she turned out to be a black girl with trousers and a shirt that were both purple though the shirt had three yellow Z's on it. Her hair was brownish black and was in a pony tail. Her shoes were pink

"H-h-hi everyone; I'm R-r-raven and I hope w-we can be f-friends."

"What's up? I'm Vinnie." Said Vinnie with a wave.

"H-h-hi there Vinnie; y-you have an i-i-interesting arm."

"Interesting? Hmm; it hasn't been called that before." Smiled Vinnie. "Nervous are you? Don't worry; all of us are a little nervous; it's our first time being on TV."

"Not me; I was in miss America hair edition a year ago." Said Nakia proudly.

"N-nice hair." Said Raven. "Do you c-comb it o-often?"

"Everyday for an hour at a time." Replied Nakia.

"But it IS just hair." Pointed out Oscar.

"Shut it." Hissed Nakia.

"You won't be able to shut the next contestant anywhere because her name is Yessica."

A blond girl with two large pig tails stepped off the yacht and looked around. She wore a blue shirt with pictures of waves on it. Her trousers were blue and her shoes were black. She looked quite friendly.

"Hi everyone; my name is Yessica! Y to the ess to the I to the ca!" Said Yessica with a giggle. "Anybody want to be friends?"

"I will be!" Smiled Quana. "You can be my back up singer; I've always wanted to do a duet."

"Then a duet it shall be!" Squeed Yessica.

"Great; another person who squees." Moaned Xaria in bitterness. "Wasn't it bad enough with the wonder twins last season?"

"I liked them." Said Yessica firmly.

"You and who else?" Replied Xaria smugly.

"I liked them; they remind me of my little sister." Said Oscar as he dropped to do press ups.

"Why did I sign up for this terrible show?" Whined Xaria.

"How should I know?" Said Nakia. "You've only complained since you've got here and never said anything positive."

"Whatever." Said Xaria with a roll of her eyes.

"The next person to arrive on Wawanakwa is Barney!" Said Chris as the next yacht pulled up and a guy jumped out.

This guy looked wild; or his hair was anyway. Barney wore a black shirt with a smiling skull on it and blue trousers with a gold chain. His shoes were goldish brown and looked good. In one hand he held what appeared to be a dagger but it was just a realistic fake. On his head was a black pirate hat with the smiling skull and cross bones. Under it was a mess of blond hair in a long pony tail with an orange streak and to the side of his head were two blond dreadlocks.

"Arrrrr! Hi everyone; Barney's the name and pirating is my game!" Cheered the pirate teen as he raised his dagger for effect. "One by one you'll walk the plank and only the captain will be left; me!"

"What a weirdo." Said Xaria in disbelief.

"I think he's cool." Said Spider. "He is everything I am not; healthy and cool."

"So who might you be me heartie?" Asked Barney while pointing his dagger at Raven.

"I-i-i-i-i-i-im R-r-r-raven. Could y-y-you p-p-p-point the dagger e-e-e-elsewhere?"

"Oh; sorry." Said Barney as he sheathed the dagger. "Pleased to meet you Raven. I'm Barney and I HATE dinosaurs of the purple variety."

"You should have been in last season." Said Vinnie as he observed Barney. "You would have kicked major butt."

"That I would have … but I didn't know about the show until after the fourth episode." Explained Barney. "But Izzy would have been a worthy match for this sea dog."

"Izzy was a good competitor." Said Oscar while still doing press ups. "Though personally I think Eva would have been better as she is so strong."

"You had all better behave yourselves because here comes teachers pet Daisy!" Said Chris as the newest yacht let off a neatly dressed girl.

Daisy, as she was called, looked at the others and haughtily raised her nose. Her black hair was neat and tidy and her face had freckles. She seemed to be wearing her school uniform; a black tie, pink and black skirt, pink blazer and yellow shirt. Her high heals were pink and expensive and looked fashionable.

"Greetings everyone." Said Daisy. "You must be the other contestants. Well even though there are no teachers around to keep an eye on you it is still in your interests to behave. Daddy is a head teacher and has the numbers of all head teachers in Canada; they are but a phone call away."

"Are you threatening to snitch on us?" Asked Quana in disbelief. "It's the summer! Whatever we do is not the teachers business."

"Say whatever you please; you're not the straight A star student who has been class president four years in a row." Yawned Daisy dryly.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Groaned Spider as he hurried to the other edge of the dock to be sick.

"What a repulsive boy; he should be sent to the sick bay permanently." Retched Daisy in disgust.

"He can't help it." Said Quana firmly. "He's got some unknown flu bug

"… Wow; you have nice hair, almost as good as mine." Said Nakia in awe.

"I know; isn't it lovely?" Said Daisy proudly. "Of course; not that you F students would know anything about lovely."

"You don't seem too nice me hearty." Said Barney. "Out at sea you would be the first to walk the plank."

"This coming from a pirate wannabe?" Sneered Daisy.

"You like education; I like pirates; everyone is different Arrrrr?"

"As great as it would be to see a huge fight break out; it will be even better to meet the next contestant, Eleanor!"

The yacht dropped off another girl; this one looked slightly unusual. Hey blond hair was long and untamed; the ends of it were dyed green. She had glowing green eyes and on her head was what at first glance looked like a real turtle when on closer inspection it was a hat. Her shirt was dark green, her shoes were brown and her trousers were a nice shade of brown as well. In one of her hands she held a large cage of two small ferrets that were in one word … cute. She looked younger than the other contestants; about twelve years old.

"Howdy and hello lads and ladies." Waved Eleanor with her free hand. "Wawanakwa looks sunny and nice today; perfect conditions to find some interesting wildlife."

"On this Island the only wildlife is giant monsters and carnivorous plants." Said Vinnie.

"All the better." Smiled Eleanor. "And the sunshine will be good for my ferrets to relax."

"Eww!" Shrieked Daisy. "I hate rats!"

"They are ferrets; not rats." Said Eleanor calmly. "They are very lovely creatures and frost and dandelion need the relaxation as they will be parents soon."

"Oh great; adding to the overpopulation." Sighed Xaria again.

Eleanor chose to ignore this and placed the cage on the dock. She took out a harmonica and began playing a soothing melody.

"That's not bad." Said Quana with interest. "How long have you been playing the harmonica?"

"Over two years; it's a fun hobby." Replied Eleanor.

"The next guy will possibly have hobbies; it's Hector!" Said Chris dramatically as the boat dropped off another guy.

Hector was fairly overweight but looked nice; he wore a sleeveless green jumper with some words stitched in. The words said 'Saint Wattlesworth Math Club. His arms had brown sleeves which suggested he was wearing a brown shirt. His shorts were also brown and he had a double chin. His hair was brown and spiky.

"Oh great; another disgusting fat slob with a love of fart jokes." Said Daisy in disgust.

"I assure you I am nothing like last season's winner Miss; would a so called 'disgusting fat slob with a love of fart jokes' have mastered algebra, be vice captain of the mathletes and be able to add numbers together, transmute them and work out their low bearing tandems?"

"Well … you're still fat." Retorted Daisy.

"Sometimes an excess of weight can be more of a help than a hindrance." Said Hector politely. "I stay warm in the cold and can't be blown over; plus I hardly feel punches."

"This guy is good." Said Yessica. "He seems to be able to handle bullying problems very well."

"That I can." Said Hector as he walked away from Daisy. "I've protected my fellow 'nerds' from many a beating on several trio's of occasions. I pride myself on my intellect and the fact that just because I'm a nerd doesn't mean I can't be a cool nerd."

"He's ok." Said Nakia. "But his hair is a bit on the 'naff' side."

"Did you know all the hair on your head is dead besides the root; you've actually got a mass of unliving thread coming from your skull; everyone does."

"Enough of the intelligence because it's time to say hello to Gary." Said Chris.

The yacht dropped of a medium built guy. He had a confident expression and tidy brown hair. On his head was a chef hat and a unibrow. His shoes were gold, his shirt was yellow with a chicken drumstick picture and his trousers were red and spotless. In one hand he held a spatula. He was clearly a chef of some kind; probably a fair margin better than Chef Hatchet.

"Bonjour my fellow contestants and possible teammates; my name is Gary Boltok and I hope to not only win this contest but also showcase my cooking skills." Said Gary confidently and strongly.

"I hope you don't get voted off too soon." Said Xaria. "After seeing last season it is clear we need a chef who actually knows how to cook."

"That … will be no problem." Said Gary with a nod. "I shall cater to my team's nourishment needs to the best of my top graded ability."

"W-w-why did you b-b-ring a s-s-spatula?" Asked Raven.

"Because I personally don't trust Chef Hatchet's equipment to be clean; and this spatula was the first piece of cookery equipment I ever used. I've got all my other things in my luggage."

"I don't think anyone would trust Chef Hatchet's cooking utensils." Said Eleanor. "He probably cooks with dirty hands."

"I dread the time I find the answer." Said Gary with a shudder.

"Maybe you will find it later because on a completely unrelated note here comes Jimmy." Announced Chris as another yacht arrived and dropped off a young lad.

Jimmy was clearly a cut below the rest in terms of age; he looked to be ten years old. He wore a lime green t-shirt and shorts striped orange and green. His shoes were rainbow checkered and quite smart. On his head he wore a large teal and orange spotted beanie with orange elastic. His hair was very blonde and went down to his shoulders while some poked out from under the front of his hat.

"Hi there boys and girls." Said Jimmy. "Isn't this exciting? The first day of a new season of total drama … and we're on it! I am proud to represent the letter J in this contest."

"What in the world are you doing here?" Asked Daisy in shock. "You're not even in high school!"

"Well; my audition tape was good so here I am. Don't worry though; I'm capable of taking care of myself and I have people around me to stop a potential attack."

"I still don't think you should be here." Said Daisy stiffly.

"Leave the little guy alone." Said Barney as he raised his fake dagger.

"I agree; his independence and presumably stamina far exceeds the average number for his age range."

"Yeah!" Agreed Eleanor.

"Thanks everyone." Said Jimmy with a smile. "By the way Miss; I like your ferrets."

"It's Eleanor and thank you." Said Eleanor gratefully. "At least someone recognizes they aren't rats."

"In my opinion the only way someone could mistake a ferret for a rat is if they are either a deadpan snarker, eat too much sweet corn or obsess over Pokémon." Said Jimmy without realizing how angry Daisy was getting at him.

"PETA will be happy with the next contestant; a little too happy. It's Mable!"

The yacht dropped off a tall black girl finishing off an apple. She put the core in her pocket and stepped off the dock. She had an orange shirt with green sleeves. Her shorts were a basic shade of red. On her feet were black tennis shoes and in-between her shoes and shorts on each leg were red leg warmers. Her hair was died blue and light orange and went in a large ponytail.

"Thank you for the introduction Chris; I am in fact part of the PETA organization. I'm going to prove that PETA trained teens can go far."

Xaria coughed and the noise she made sounded like 'baloney'. Mable walked over to her and seized her up.

"Do you have a problem?" Asked Mable.

"Not really; it's just that I personally hate PETA. It's just an organization made up of pissed of vegans who want to stop us getting our daily intake of protein and thus making humanity become weak and bony thin."

"PETA is not about that at all; it promotes better animal rights and conditions! But I can see there is no reasoning with you so good day."

And with that Mable turned away from Xaria and stood by the others.

"Don't worry about her." Said Oscar. "I was the first here and ever since she arrived she's been complaining and whining about everything."

"She's a lost cause alright." Agreed Mable.

"Look out every person with male genetics because Fifi is making her entrance."

A just above medium height girl stepped off the boat and strode past Chris. She seemed to really like pink; her shirt was bright pink with a yellow female symbol and the word female. She wore a red mini skirt and pink shorts beneath it. Her shoes were red. Her hair was dyed pink with two black streaks of normal hair.

"Wawanakwa Island; the home of total drama and an undeserving winner." Said Fifi dully. "Maybe this year a girl will win; no, a girl WILL win."

"You look like a candy cane." Mumbled Xaria.

"Well you look like a bumble bee." Replied Fifi much to Xaria's frustration.

"What's up; my name's Oscar." Said Oscar as he extended a hand.

"Get away from me you man! Like your muscles? I bet you think that females are weak and flimsy right?"

"What? No!" Said Oscar in confusion.

"Well good; I guess that's a VERY slight improvement. But there will be no anti female sexism; if so I'll call in my feminist friends." Said Fifi threateningly.

"A feminist?" Asked Gary out loud. "What was Chris thinking?"

"Sexism!" Shrieked Fifi. "You sexist boy!"

"I'm NOT sexist!" Said Gary. "I just know feminism and reality TV mixed together is bad news."

"Humph!" Snapped Fifi. "I've got my eye on you."

"Hold your horse's folks; the party is just getting started; please put on smiles for Irene!"

A brown girl got of the yacht and waved a flag. The flag had a red handle and had a picture of a tree on it. She wore a silky orange shirt with a tree picture and blue knee trousers with orange fish on them. Hey eyes were brown and on her feet she wore purple sandals. Her hair was light brown and was in a long pony tail with an orange hair boblenear the end and a blue one near the top. In her hair was a pink flower.

"Nature!" Yelled Irene loudly.

"And what exactly was the point in that?" Asked Daisy rudely.

"I wanted the first word I ever said on TV to be about what I love. And now that it is said and done let me say hello! As Chris told you I am Irene and I love trees and the woods!"

"She's got wood for brains this one." Laughed Fifi snarkly.

"At least my hair doesn't look like an afro gone horribly wrong." Said Irene casually.

"You … you … MAN!" Spat Fifi.

"Err … what?" Asked Irene in confusion.

"Oh never mind mud for brains." Sighed Fifi meanly.

"Is anybody here actually nice?" Asked Irene in disbelief.

"I am." Said Jimmy with a smile.

"Aren't you a little … well … small to be here?" Asked Irene.

"Nope!" Grinned Jimmy. "The competition is open to anybody under twenty so it is O-kuzay!"

"Kuzay the cool because here comes Kasimar." Said Chris.

THUD. That was the sound made when the next guy slammed down off the boat. He had a red shirt with a red and yellow triangle pattern on the sleeves. His trousers had a flame pattern of red and orange. On his feet was a pair of metal boots. His black hair was short but he had a large blue Mohawk and a large goatee. His face had a seemingly permanent snarl.

"Hi Kasimar; just so you know the producers like your personality and want you to stir up some drama and trouble; can you handle that?" Asked Chris eagerly.

"It'll be my pleasure." Smiled Casimir evilly.

He walked down the dock with heavy footsteps and stopped next to Jimmy. He towered over the ten year old and snarled.

"Looks like I've found my punch bag for the summer; all the nerds back home went to a camp in Alaska to escape me; but there's no way off this Island except by boat … and you have no key!" Grinned the mean bully.

Casimir flicked Jimmy in the face and stood with his arms crossed.

"What is your problem you creep!" Cried Eleanor in anger. "Jimmy did nothing to you!"

"Oh shut up girl; I'm big, you're small and you can't do a thing about it. Maybe your rats could make for a good sandwich!" Laughed Casimir brutally.

Eleanor gasped and held her ferret cage tightly. Casmir just looked on smugly.

"For better or worse; here comes Lavender!" Said Chris as another yacht pulled up.

Out of this one came a short girl with long orangey red hair. She wore a red #1 cheerleader shirt and a blue skirt. Her tights were also red while her shoes were black with orange soles. Her eyes were red and she had a crafty look about her.

"Chris Maclean; the guy with the fancy hair." Said Lavender craftily. "I don't suppose if I was to give you some hair gel you would give me immunity in return?"

"As tempting as hair gel is I'm afraid not." Said Chris regretfully because he loved hair gel.

"Ah well; it was worth a try." Shrugged Lavender as she strutted down the dock. "I wonder if I could incorporate Wawanakwa into a cheer."

"Oh great; another brainless cheerleader; just what the population needs." Grumbled Xaria.

"Stereotyping are we bumble bee?" Asked Lavender casually. "Well if you don't like it then buzz back to your hive miss queen bee."

"It means danger! Not bees!" Shouted Xaria in fury. "It's supposed to be cool; a sign of my own personality; veesh!"

"Veesh isn't in the dictionary." Said Daisy scornfully. "And being an A star grade English student I should know."

"I say it when I get angry; kinda like now." Replied Xaria with another sigh.

"Angriness is inevitable." Said Lavender dismissively. "It takes a true contestant to control their emotions and use them to their advantage."

"That is way #57 of how to win a reality show." Said Hector. "My favorite is number 25; the IQ victory."

"The next contestant may or may not have a high IQ; I don't care as long as I get paid but here's Patch!" Said Chris as a fat guy got off the yacht.

This guy was indeed large. His hair was red and his eyes were black. His shirt was sleeveless and brown with a picture of a hotdog which covered his large gut. His shorts were black while his shoes were brown. He seemed to have an air of simple mindedness around him.

"Food, food." Groaned Patch as though he were a zombie.

"Oh cool! A zombie arrr!" Grinned Barney.

"I haven't eaten in two minutes; I'm starving!" Whimpered Patch.

"How can someone like you be starving?" Asked Yessica in disbelief.

"Food." Said Patch again.

"There are people in Africa starving and you need food?" Asked Mable in surprise.

"Yes." Replied Patch simply.

"This guy's … unique." Said Barney hesitantly.

"Maybe the next guy will be as well; it's Andy!" Said Chris happily.

A fourteen year old Asian boy jumped off the yacht and look around eagerly; he had short yet neat black hair and a purple shirt with green wrists and a picture of a rocket. His shorts were black and had some yellow stars on them. His socks were green and his shoes were purple. His blue eyes seemed to light up the atmosphere.

"Hello fellow people of earth; I'd like to be known as an astronaut but just call me Andy." Said Andy. "And who knows; maybe in a distant galaxy a whole alliance of aliens is watching us!"

"A-a-a-a-aliens?" Squeaked Raven. "Oh no."

"Don't worry; as long as humanity makes a good first contact then all will be fine." Said Andy reassuringly.

"Are you a space fan?" Asked Yessica.

"Not just a space fan; more of a space fanatic, I've loved it since I was a preschooler. The finals of this contest shall be my final frontier." Said Andy.

"So poetic." Smiled Yessica. "As fish are to the ocean you are to the cosmos."

"I wonder what alien animals would be like in a stew." Pondered Gary while twirling his spatula in one hand.

"Maybe they'll taste as good as a knuckle sandwich nerd!" Growled Kasimar maliciously.

"Nerd? Rather be a nerd than a bully." Said Gary coolly.

"But being a bully is awesome!" Laughed Kasimar while flexing his muscles. "You get extra lunch money, you are respected and you get really strong."

"And on the downside you get a record, everyone hates you and you become a monster." Shot Andy.

"Moving along from that it's time to introduce Uzuri." Said Chris as another boat pulled up and dropped off a girl.

This girl was somewhat short and young looking despite being sixteen. Her hair was blond and tidy and she looked fairly pretty. Her shirt was pink and had a red heart. Her trousers were purple and small whereas her shoes were as pink as her shirt. She was also holding what appeared to be an sort of emo doll.

"Hi Chris; is there an anthill nearby?" Asked Uzuri sweetly.

"No; why?" Asked Chris in confusion.

"I just want to burn some ants." Giggled Uzuri. "Like my doll?" She asked as she pulled its speaker string.

"Let's all cut ourselves; heheheheheh!" Laughed the doll while scaring Chris very much.

"Err … is she sane?" Asked Spider in worry. "I don't *cough* like scary things too much *gag*; they make me feel sick."

"Don't worry; I'm not going to rip your head off with your spine still attached." Smiled Uzuri.

"Err … does that mean you will or you won't?" Said Spider with great worry as he took a few steps back.

"Oh no; spines are icky! What with the blood and the screaming and the spilt bone marrow! Teehee!" Giggled Uzuri.

Most people took a big step back; this girl was definitely a little insane.

"Want to hug my doll?" Asked Uzuri to Fifi as she pulled the string.

"Ow my arm! It hurts when I hacksaw it! Heheheheheh!" Laughed the doll again.

"Get that thing away from me!" Screamed Fifi as she hid behind Hector.

"It's just a doll." Said Hector matter-of-factly. "A humanoid made from various materials and a few simple pull activated mechanisms to give the impression it is articulating. Though I do admit that the girl is a tad creepy."

"The next contestant isn't creepy; it's Tabitha."

The yacht dropped off a tall blond girl; well, most of her hair was blond but she had two indigo streaks. She had freckles and her eyes were blue. Her trousers were mostly blue though the top and bottom of them were green. Her shoes were bright pink and her shirt was purple with a picture of a crown. Her lips had blue lipstick on them.

"This is it? This is Wawanakwa? I would have thought it would at least smell of something different than raw sewage." Mused Tabitha mildly. "Well; I'll just have to make the best of it while I'm here."

Tabitha strode down the dock and looked at the other contestants. She smiled politely which was not what people would expect based on her appearance.

"Good day everyone; Tabitha Barrington at your service." Said Tabitha as she shook Patch's large hand.

"Me like food." Smiled Patch dumbly.

"You sure seem to; I'm sure you have some good abilities within that frame called your body."

"She seems nice." Said Uzuri to Vinnie. "What do you think?"

"Nice; possibly, a team player, we'll see." Said Vinnie. "Hopeful we'll be on the winning team and not the losing one."

"Talking of teams are we?" Asked Tabitha as she strode up. "Maybe I'll be on yours, you both seem very interesting."

"Do you like my little miss emo doll?" Asked Uzuri as she pulled the string.

"Side to side gives you an ambulance ride; up and down gets rid of your frown; heheheheheh." Laughed the emo doll again which freaked some people out. Tabitha just smiled.

"Well; it's certainly an interesting toy, how many sayings does it have?" Asked Tabitha curiously.

"Over nine thousand!" Grinned Uzuri.

"That joke is so old." Grumbled Xaria.

"I agree; nice bumble bee hair by the way." Said Tabitha.

"It isn't a #bleep# bumble bee! It's #bleep# danger!" Roared Xaria.

"Sorry; I'm terribly sorry." Said Tabitha quickly. "But still, nice hair."

As the sound of another yacht grew closer and everyone turned away Tabitha smiled evilly and bared her sharp teeth.

"This … will be easy." She thought to herself.

Out of the next yacht came a medium sized ginger harried boy with dark sunglasses. Going through the center of his hair was a dyed blue arrow. He had a ginger walrus moustache and had a wicked look on his face. He wore a grey buttoned shirt with a green tie and a jacket with black shoulders and wrists but white sleeves. His trousers were leather and black and his shoes were tidy and brown.

"Wallace." Greeted Chris. "I heard you've got your own theme music right?"

"That I do Chris." Grinned Wallace.

He took out a remote and pressed a button and evil organ music began coming from nowhere.

"Fear me you insignificant ants!" Boomed Wallace. "I am Wallace! The greatest villain who ever walked the face of the universe! He commits crimes; and then he will go. Where does he go? Nobody shall know. Fear the villain and his shadow. That darn elusive … W-ali-ice! MWHAHAHAHAHA !"

Wallace finished by throwing his hands up and laughing like a maniac from an asylum. Everyone looked at him in shock, humor and confusion.

"So wait; you're some kind of bad guy?" Asked Lavender.

"Not a bad guy; I'm THE bad guy!" Snapped Wallace. "One day I will conquer the wooooorld!"

"Dr. No; this guy is not." Whispered Eleanor to Jimmy who chuckled.

Wallace heard this and ran up to Eleanor as fast as blinking.

"Do you DARE to mock the great Wallace?" Asked Wallace angrily while waving his arms threateningly.

"I guess so." Said Eleanor as she raised an eyebrow.

"…Oh! Ferrets! They go great with carrots so I've heard." Grinned Wallace as he stared at Frost and Dandelion the ferrets.

"Carrots?" Asked Mable in confusion as she had been following the conversation in disbelief.

"Yes … carrots." Said Wallace dramatically. "The vegetable of EVIL! Mwuhahaha!"

"Isn't he a great ratings harvester?" Asked Chris. "The next person actually has a record! It's Zita!"

The newly pulled up yacht dropped off a girl. She had very untidy brown hair that was all over the place. She wore a thick black shirt with a green dollar sign on it. On her legs were orange joggers and below them were black climbing shoes. Her eyes were red and she held a sack in her hand with a cent sign sewn on.

"Chris Maclean; rich man right?" Asked Rita.

"That's me; the one everyone knows and loves!" Boasted the arrogant host.

"Good; that means they'll be some good stuff to steal!" Grinned Zita. "It'll be like my stealing spree at the prom. So much jewelry and money. And the prize money will be good for buying more equipment so I can steal even more!"

"Just don't steal my hair gel and all will be fine." Shrugged Chris.

"I guess that's ok." Lied Zita as she approached the mass of others. "But I can't say the same for everyone else!"

She looked at the others and discreetly stood beside Barney and silently reached for his hat.

"Touch my hat and I'll go cannon ball on you arrrrr!" Growled Barney.

"Next time; next time." Said Zita.

"A thief?" Grumbled Xaria again. "And I thought we had enough problems."

"At least I know how to make a living bumble bee!" Sneered Zita.

Xaria's eye twitched in fury and she breathed deeply and quickly.

"Introducing the twenty sixth and final contestant … Carlton!" Said Chris as a nervous trembling guy got off the boat.

This guy looked very easily scared. Unusual for a guy he was wearing a pink shirt with a green butterfly on it. His trousers were light blue and his socks were brown. His shoes were black and he looked like he had small feet. His eyes were hazel brown and his hair was striped mixture of toffee yellowy brown and hazel brown like his eyes. He was also fairly pale.

"Hi Carlton." Said Chris while slapping him on the back.

"AH! Don't do that." Whimpered Carlton. "I don't like surprises that I'm not expecting!"

"But then it wouldn't be a surprise." Said Chris flatly.

"Exactly." Said Carlton as he slowly approached the others and stood a distance from them.

Kasimar crept up and stood behind him.

"BOO!" Roared Kasimar at the top of his lungs.

Carlton screamed like a three and a half seconds old girl and turned around shaking like a leaf.

"H-h-h-h-h ubba b-b-ba-a-a-abba wah waaah." Stuttered Carlton is terror.

"What a wuss." Laughed Kasimar. "I bet you're even scared of bunnies!"

"That and more than a thousand other things." Whimpered Carlton shakily. "I just hope there isn't another phobia factor this year."

"Well maybe … ooga booga booooga!" Bellowed Kasimar.

Carlton nearly wet himself and shivered in fright. Kasimar laughed; so did Chris, Zita, Wallace and Daisy. Fifi chuckled and Tabitha managed to successfully fight back a laugh.

"Isn't this great; twenty six campers; and what's more … an entire alphabet! This is going to be a great season!" Said Chris as he looked at all twenty six campers. "But first; we're going to need a promo picture for the fans! Everyone head to the end of the dock and strike a pose."

"Do you think I'm an F student?" Asked Daisy haughtily. "Maybe a lot of the others are … but I saw last season; the dock can't hold all of us and I don't want to get wet!"

"But … but … FINE!" Said Chris angrily. "We'll just take the picture from the grass! HAPPY?"

"Very much so." Said Daisy stiffly and smugly.

The twenty six campers stampeded off the dock and crowded around on the grass next to the dock. Chris grumbled like Muttley the sniggering hound and took out his camera.

"Ok everyone; say letterz on C." Said Chris as he took the lense off the camera.

"Don't you mean three?" Asked Lavender.

"No; I mean C; since your names make up an alphabet we're using letters instead of counting." Explained Chris impatiently. "Ok; once again, on C ... ... ... A … B … C!"

"Letterz!" Bellowed everyone as Chris snapped the picture. He looked at the picture and sighed.

"Last years picture was better … but I'll make do; after all, with a bully, a thief and goodness knows what else I'm sure to get more hair gel spending money this year." Said Chris to himself. "Ok everyone; follow me to the bonfire pit and I will give you the run down of what is going to be happening. And for Pete's sake; someone bring me a latté, I'm thirsty!"


Not much later Chris and the twenty six soon to be traumatized contestants were standing or sitting around the feared place of elimination. There were now only three stumps but a few logs had been pulled up here and there. Chris looked around at the contestants and looked at their reactions to being on International TV.

Barney was grinning widely and was adjusting his hat.

Eleanor was whispering to her ferrets.

Fifi was glaring murderously at Gary who tried to avoid her gaze.

Kasimar was grinning viciously in Jimmy's direction and cracked his knuckles.

Jimmy didn't notice Kasimar and he looked very excited and held the rim of his beanie in excitement.

Oscar was flexing his muscles and sizing up the competition.

Zita was carefully stuffing some flowers into her loot sack.

Chris grinned and rubbed his unsweaty palms together; these weirdo's were going to make his show even better than before.

"Ok populars and unpopulars; listen up! Welcome to the second season of Total Drama Island; it is called Total Drama Letterz and you are the lucky twenty six out of thousands who have been chosen as the best of the best that auditioned. But enough about what you already know, time for a few new things."

Chris snapped his fingers and an intern ran up holding a large silver case.

"This is what you are here for; the most wonderful thing that there is and will be!"

"You mean Candy?" Asked Jimmy.

"Not even close." Said Chris "I mean money. You may remember last season the grand prize was one hundred thousand right? Well ... this time the prize has increased; it's not two hundred and fifty thousand, not half a million either … you guys are going to put your lives at stake for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"

Everyone collectively gasped and cheered, all that money would make their lives very comfortable.

"Yes; a million big boys is quite a lot indeed." Said Chris. "But it won't be easy. You will be partaking in the most extreme and crazy challenges imaginable, eat disgusting food and of course … walk the dock of shame if you lose."

"That won't be me." Said Daisy. "This Island needs prefect students like me."

"Confident are we?" Asked Chris. "Good luck. Now you may have noticed that there are only three stumps left and a few logs. Turns out that tree stumps can rot. There weren't any trees in the vicinity to chop down so we consequently spent a little money and chopped and dropped a few particularly uncomfortable Redwoods."

"WHAT?" Asked Irene is shock. "You cut down a redwood for this?"

"Nope … we cut down three."

Irene was about to scream but Chris continued before she could start an angry lecture.

"What is more; last season we had the Screaming Gophers and Killer Bass … this year however they are a thing of the far distant past. This season will have three teams; all the good reality shows are doing to nowadays. So; three teams for more competition."

"But you can't divide twenty six by three." Pointed out Hector promptly. "Maybe if you'd paid attention in school instead of frequenting the bourney house you would know that."

The contestants laughed but Chris didn't look too bothered.

"Yes; I noticed that. That is because until further notice there will be no teams. You can make friends and allies if you want but you may not be on the same team as them." Warned Chris. "The interns have your luggage which you will get back tonight after the first bonfire ceremony."

"So somebody is leaving today?" Asked Andy. "Hopefully it won't be me; I'm gonna shoot for the stars!"

"You're right Andy. But until then you can all have a bite to eat in the mess hall; I'm sure Chef Hatchet is anxious to see you." Chuckled Chris. "He just loves young people."

Some campers gulped at the thought of the psychotic Chef and his dreadful food.

"And finally; the confessional cam is up and rearing to go. If you've got something to say and want everyone to hear it then go on in and spill the beans."


Confessional- Letters? What about numbers?

Quana: This is gonna be a super summer; and I can show the world my singing as well as make friends; this is going to be like the best musical ever!

Barney: Arrrrr! A pirate's life on Wawanakwa for me! I'll bring home the booty … and if anyone messes with me or any great friends I make then I'll have their booty! Yo ho!

Vinnie: I like it here; most of the people are quite nice. Kasimar is a jerk, Zita can't be trusted, Daisy is annoying but everyone else seems ok. I think my metal arm and I are going to have a great time.

Nakia: I hope this show isn't too rough; I mean (Nakia makes a 'well' sort of face), I want to win and be the fan favorite but if my hair gets dirty … I might faint.

Jimmy: Ten years old and on the big screen. Yeah! Me, Ricky, Charles, Ted and Pablo, my friends from back home, made a deal. If I win then we share the prize money. I drew the longest straw (claps) so here I am!

Fifi: One thing I can guarantee is that a women is winning this season; if a guy wins I'll scream!

Tabitha: I made a fool of myself on the dock; acting NICE? Not my style. I'm going to win one way or another … and unlike that complete bald idiot Heather I'll keep a low profile.


The twenty six campers entered the mess hall; three tables were set up and the floor had dirt here and there. The smell of burnt rubber was in the air; just what was Chef Hatchet's latest evil culinary creation? As everyone lined up and took out a tray from the pile Chef Hatchet, the big man himself, appeared from within the kitchen with a large tray of green eggs and ham.

"Aaah. Fresh meat!" Grinned Chef. "I hope you all bought your stomachs because you're not leaving this room until you've eaten your meal! Now come and eat your DIN DINS!"

First in line was Carlton; he trembled in fear at Chef's piercing gaze; Chef seemed to be scanning him, seeing what made him tick.

"You! Scaredy cat! Eat this!"

Chef dumped green eggs and ham on Carlton's tray. Carlton made a noise that sounded like 'mimblewimble'.

"What was that?" Bellowed Chef.

"Nothing; it's j-j-j-just that I'm s-s-scared of green eggs and h-h-ham." Mumbled Carlton as he hurried away to the tables.

"What a wimp!" Laughed Kasimar. "Scared of food; this is the sort of food you eat at my school and you have to like it!"

Chef dumped a dose of questionable food on Kasimar's tray and Kasimar just shrugged as he left to eat it.

Mable looked at the food in disgust and looked at Chef Hatchet as though he were insane.

"Do you call this crud food?" She asked in shock. "I bet even raccoons wouldn't touch it and they eat anything."

"So what about the raccoons? And this is food, good food!" Bellowed Chef. "My mama raised me on this until I was thirty!"

"Is that why you have a frown all the time Chef?" Asked Jimmy innocently.

"WHAAAAT?" Roared Chef. "I loved that food very much! You little juvenile miscreant!"

"Ok; let's all take five and a half." Said Yessica. "He just asked a question … plus you're offended by a ten year old on live TV; not a good image."

Chef just muttered as he continued serving the contestant their food. Last in line was Gary. Gary pulled up a chair to the counter and began slowly eating.

"Why ain't you sitting with the other ungrateful brats?" Asked Chef Hatchet as he raised his cleaver threateningly.

"Because I am a Chef; I am the top catering student at my school and I, unlike you, know how to cook well."

"Are you saying I'm a bad cook?" Growled Chef Hatchet dangerously.

"I might be." Replied Gary as he forked some green ham and ate it. "I was wondering if I could perhaps do the cooking this season."

"You seem awfully brave for such a small boy!" Growled Chef.

"Ok; first, I'm medium, not small … at all; and second, I get brave when good cooking is involved. And let me tell you; I know good cooking."

"Are you getting at something?" Asked Chef Hatchet.

"Maybe; I might just have an offer for you."

"I'm listening." Said Chef as he put his cleaver away.

"Here's the deal; you let me cook GOOD food for my team and I will in return teach you how to cook. Maybe you'll find other employment where you'll be treated better hmm?"

"… I'll think about it; you'll have my answer tonight." Said Chef as he skulked away deep in thought.


Confessional- Deal with the devil?

Gary: Straightforwardly I want to spread my knowledge of cooking and make the team I end up on want to keep me around. And besides; I'm sure Chef has talent, I shall be the mother bird to the chick should he accept.

Spider: (Holding his stomach) That food … I think I'll be feeling it a little later (groans) or maybe in a few seconds.

Raven: S-s-so this is t-the c-c-confessional? I t-think t-that judging by h-h-his f-f-food chef could u-use a m-mentor."


About half an hour of gagging and forced eating later everyone had finished their food. It was without a doubt terrible. The contestants with stronger stomachs like Patch, Hector, Zita and Kasimar didn't feel too bad but some felt pretty sick.

"That … was without a doubt … the worst crap I've ever tasted." Groaned Daisy. "My school's canteen is much better than this; they know how to cater to the students hunger."

"It's official; things have got worse." Grumbled Xaria. "What now?"

As if to answer her question Chris burst through the door at that moment; he was grinning his well known sadistic grin and as all you Total Drama fans know; that means very bad news.

"Hello again campers; I hope you enjoyed your food." Said Chris. "That is what I would say if I gave a darn about you. Now that you have your food it is time for your first challenge and this one is AMAZING!"

"Is there any reason why you put emphasis on amazing?" Asked Hector. "I deduce it is to do with our first obstacle on the path for the million."

"You may be right Heckling Hector; and we shall find out; everyone follow me and I shall show you your first challenge this summer."

"I doubt this can be anything good." Said Oscar in concern. "Last season's first challenge was a cliff dive; I bet Chris is planning something like Russian roulette."

"As good as that would be to watch I don't think the lawsuits would be worth it." Said Chris as he left the mess hall with the contestants following him.

"The first day … the best day for EVIL!" Grinned Wallace.


Confessional- Cucumbers are evil too!

Wallace: (Rubbing his hands together). This will be a memorable summer; the summer that evil prevailed! I just need an apprentice; I'll keep my evil eye open, these things take time.

Andy: I wonder if it's a space themed challenge. I've always wanted to blast into the stratosphere in a rocket. I'm not gonna lose yet; Andy out.

Eleanor: Chef Hatchet gets angry too easy; I saw last season when he voted off Duncan due to his grudge and now he snaps at a ten year old! Granted I'm only twelve so there isn't much age difference between me and Jimmy but that wasn't right. Still (She crosses her legs) what challenge has Chris's insane mind cooked up?


Twenty minutes of walking later Chris and the twenty six campers were standing in front of a giant metal cube with red lights around it here and there. Everyone looked at it; it was certainly big.

"Alright everyone; you may be wondering why there is a giant cube in front of you right?" Asked Chris as he took out a sheet listing the rules.

"The thought crossed my mind." Said Quana.

"Well; your first challenge is … The Labyrinth of despair!" Yelled Chris dramatically as lightning struck from the sky.

"Wait; how did lightning strike on a sunny cloudless day?" Asked Lavender in confusion.

"Internet." Said Chris simply. "Anyway; this cube is home to a devious labyrinth designed by devious minds in a devious place … pretty devious huh?"

"Repetition." Mumbled Xaria. "Just what we don't need."

"The rules are simple" Said Chris as he ignored Xaria. "You will all be given a special wristwatch that will switch on once you enter the labyrinth and will switch off when you exit. There is any number of ways through it but only one exit. You can team up with some others if you want but don't waste time."

"So basically all we are doing is going through a labyrinth?" Asked Vinnie. "What's the catch?"

"I'm glad you asked Vinnie." Said Chris. "There are many traps and obstacles within this cube; plus some of the areas are pretty dark. But there probably aren't any monsters though."

"The word probably is very reassuring." Said Quana sarcastically.

"Yep; I'm just a good host." Chuckled Chris sadistically. "So to all you viewers at home; who will win this challenge? Who will get lost? Who is afraid of the dark … and who will be the first voted off and be utterly humiliated? Find out when we return on Total Drama Letterz!"


And there is the first chapter; hope all you guys and girls out there enjoyed it, it was about twenty seven pages of microsoft word!

Hpefully I did a good job on this; what did you like? What didnt you like? And what do you think of my OC's? Leave a review and let me know. f there is one thing I like it is reading the reviews that tell me what a good job I did ... or not.

Next time: - The contestants enter the labyrinth and needless to say but I'll go ahead and say it anyway ... not all is well. Freindships are made as well as some conflicts. And the first bonfire ceremony has a special ... 'twist'.

Until next time, CragmiteBlaster out.