Disclaimer...no matter how much FF I write, I will never actually own Twilight. Sad, but true.
Mynxi, as always, has worked her magic over this for me. *grabs Mynxi's arse* Love ya, Treacle!
So...here's a new story. ADD still has priority, and 'Dracula?' But this has been in my head for a long ass time and I wanted to know what people think about it. So, read away!
I found myself in my bedroom, sitting in my rocking chair and gazing out of my window…watching for something, just watching, just waiting. But not seeing, no, not seeing, not able to see through the opaque darkness that permeates the forest…a darkness that seems almost sentient.
I know I am dreaming, yet still I sit and wait and watch. The colours…the colours are all wrong, there is no light from the street lamps, no light of the moon…and yet I see everything…all cast in purples and blues, a surreal picture.
Everything except the forest.
The trees shine all greens and browns, shinning with their own light, reflecting something that I cannot see. Between and behind the trees there is only black…a nothingness void of any light, absorbing the life around it.
Something…I sit, watching, waiting for something.
The air changes, cools, electrifies…charges.
He is coming.
No control, I lean forward…anticipating, wanting, waiting. A scream, so loud in the still night...shatters the calm and everything rains down in reds and oranges.
Everything, except the forest.
A girl…a woman, runs out from between the trees. Scared, panicked…terrified. Clothes torn, bleeding, one foot bare the other not. Her hair a colour somewhere between blonde and brown, skin pale, eyes bright with fear…too much white showing around the brown irises.
I am elated, warm, anticipating…fevered.
He is near. She can not escape.
She starts for my house, screaming something…sound is gone, deadened. I do not aid her, I do not want to…this is her fate, and this is my love…my love come to show me what awaits me…what I am…what I am to become.
He appears behind the girl then, so suddenly, so very fast and silent. Fast, silent, and deadly. She is still crying for my aid, for my sympathy…for me to play saviour, on her knees and hands clasped tightly as she begs for my mercy.
I laugh out into the silent air, no sound, only vibrations and the answering smile from Him. She freezes, fights to breathe, and slowly…ever so slowly…she turns, already knowing the answer. Already knowing that he is behind her.
As soon as their eyes meet she calms, she relaxes…she smiles. All woes forgotten. The game is on.
I feel his power working, worming it's way inside her, wiping away her fear and confusion…leaving only lust and need and desire, manipulating her, making her His. His to take…His to share.
She leans up as if to accept a kiss and He answers…though his lips fall to her neck…cover her pulse. His teeth, shinning in the unseen light and then red, ribbons, gush…dark, wet, warm, luscious. Filled with life, filling him.
He feeds and I hunger, I need…I want. I feel him, inside me, within me, everywhere. In, out, in, out. My breathing quickens, my body tightens and with the last drops of life's blood from her neck, I spasm and cry out with ecstasy. Nirvana.
Then he is there, and the world is right…the world is good…nothing else matters but us…together…eternally…bathing in blood.
I was being shaken, and shouted at. I opened my eyes, knowing that I must have been screaming aloud again. Edward's face was shinning in the moonlight, all beauty and grace…and so much love, all good things to chase the nightmare away.
"You were screaming again, Love. I have been trying to wake you for at least four minutes…you wouldn't respond." His voice was tight, still smooth like velvet running over silk…but tight all the same.
"I'm sorry Edward, I hate that this worries you so much," I whisper, guilt filling me from the horrific nature of my dreams. I wrap myself around him and cling, because I need to feel real again.
The dreams started a month ago, at first only every few nights, but this past fortnight they have woken me every single night. Each time it is exactly the same, the feelings, the colours and the players. Each time I watch a girl, nameless in my dream, brutally attacked by a nameless vampire. I know that I have seen his face, but I can never remember it, just an impression. The feelings that the dreams invoke within me are so foreign. I always wake up screaming, utterly disgusted with myself. It is as if the closer to consciousness that I come, the less hold He has on me, and I can see what kind of monstrous terror I become in the dream.
I have told no one the details; I don't want to let a bunch of vegetarian vampires know that I'm getting off each night to the vision of someone being drained of blood. Yep, definitely do not want to have that conversation.
But Edward worries, of course he does, he loves me as I love him and he can't help but worry. I know he wants me to tell him, I know that he has caught my lies about remembering it…but like the good boyfriend that he is, he won't push me to tell him. Although I have a feeling that his patience is wearing thin.
"Talk to me Bella, every night you scream in your sleep. Tell me what has you so scared, what chases you in your dreams?" He asked quietly, earnestly, caring.
"Its…I don't know Edward. I don't know what to tell you, my brain's defective, you know this." I joked, trying to alleviate some of the tension.
His cool finger tips brushed against the skin of my cheek, I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. So gentle, so loving.
"I know that whatever it is makes you uncomfortable to talk to me about, but it is getting worse Bella, every night your sleep is interrupted."
I sighed. "I know, just let me think about it? Help me back to sleep; I think it will be easier to talk about during the day. Please?"
"Of course love, lie down and close your eyes."
I did, snuggling close to his cold hard frame, letting his soothing voice sing me into a thankfully dreamless sleep.
Saturday was to be an unusually sunny day in Forks. Edward and I made our way to his house before the sun was due to break through the clouds, wouldn't do for the population of Forks to see Edward sparkling. Might turn a few heads.
Everyone else was out for the next few hours, hunting and taking advantage of the sunshine and more than likely, each other. Of course, this leaves Edward and me the house to ourselves; which is always a good thing.
The sun shone brightly inside the living room, the floor to ceiling windows allowing the light to shine throughout the lower level. Edward was…well, he was breathtaking as he walked towards the kitchen, prisms of light refracting off his exposed skin. Its times like this that I have to resist the urge to pinch myself; how the hell did I manage to end up with a god like hunk of immortal goodness, as my boyfriend. Hell, boyfriend doesn't even begin to cover him…soul mate, mine for all eternity.
The air shifted, my hair blew around my face and I jumped when I felt Edward wrap his arms around me from behind. The whole vamp super speed is something that still manages to shock the hell out of me.
I felt rather than heard Edward's laughter, my smart ass remark died on my lips when he brought me flush against his chest.
"So…we have the house to ourselves for a while."
Now, if his comment suggested what I wanted it to suggest then I would be getting all kinds of excited right about now. But, I knew Edward and seeing as he won't even put his tongue in my mouth, I'm guessing that he isn't after us taking advantage of the alone time by getting all naked and sweaty. So I just didn't say anything, letting him take the lead. It's always better than the embarrassment and hurt that comes along with his rejection. I understand the dangers, which is why I'm not pushing it at the moment; I just don't see how this will work in the long run. Seriously, if he won't change me then the future is pretty bleak. No sexual contact, wrinkles, and an eternally beautiful boyfriend to rub my face in it. Fabulous.
Edward moved my hair away from my neck, draping it over the opposite shoulder. I shivered as his cool breath whispered over my skin leaving goose bumps in its wake. All the time I think that it really is a pity that we can't go further, because if this is how he makes me feel with minimum contact, then I know the rest would be truly mind blowing. I jumped slightly at the shock of his lips on my throat, ghosting back and forth and then with more pressure. The smooth hardness of his lips, ice cold and exquisite, I could so easily lose myself to his touch.
He found his way to my ear and took the lobe into his mouth, sucking gently. I cried out, both in pleasure and surprise. One arm snaked around my waist, holding me up and the other caressed my, that I had instinctively thrown up and around the back of his head.
"Bella, my sweet Bella. Your dream last night was more revealing than usual" he murmured directly into my ear. What the hell is he talking about? "You called out wordlessly in your sleep, but there was no fear. Only need. I witnessed you writhe in ecstasy, Bella. It was the most beautiful thing."
I swear that if my dad had turned up naked in front of me, it wouldn't have ruined the moment more, than his reminding me of what had brought my release in my sleep. I stiffened and walked away from him, he let me of course, most likely at a complete loss at my refusal of his advances. Since when the hell did I ever refuse? Never.
It's not like I can explain it to him either! I hardly think that admitting that another man, one that I can't remember at that, made me come to a screaming climax by killing someone in front of me. Yeah, that'd work. Not.
"Bella, did I do something wrong? You seemed to be rather enjoying yourself before you walked away." His voice was so tender and loving and in that moment I hated myself. I sat down on the sofa, elbows resting on my knees whilst my hands cradled my head. Get a grip Bella, get a goddamn grip! "It wasn't me was it, in your dream I mean?"
Dread is a cold and painful emotion, it steals your breath and makes you feel like someone has shoved an icicle through your chest and frozen your lungs. That about summed up how I was feeling right then and there.
"Edward…I…god, I don't know who it is in my dreams." I went for the truth, just left out that I was sure that it wasn't Edward. I looked at him when he took my hands. "Honestly, I know that I can see him during the dream…but not once have I remembered his face after waking up. But you bringing it up, I felt guilty. I…" I trailed off, not wanting to explain the rest of my reasoning.
"Hey, it's OK…I should never have brought it up. There is obviously something else that happens towards the end that causes you to cry out in fear, and it can't be good. The human subconscious is a mystery, even to me, dreams seldom make sense. Is the dream the same each time?"
"Yes, every single time. Nothing has changed."
"So you remember them clearly enough to know that nothing changes from dream to dream?"
Ah, yes…he's caught me. Stupid Bella…stupid, stupid Bella. I sighed. "Yes, I remember everything apart from the man. I didn't want to lie to you, but I said I didn't remember because I desperately do not want to talk about it."
"If this were some random thing, I would never presume to pressure you. But this dream has come to you more and more, to the point that it is every single night. Your reactions are astonishing, so I know that it must be incredibly vivid. But the ending...your screams and your fear...Bella, I can always smell how scared you are, how terrified. Please, you have to let me in. You have to talk about this." Edward pleaded, he used everything…his voice, his eyes. Shit.
I looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze. "You'll hate me if I tell you, Edward. I hate myself."
He stood up and walked to the windows and just for a few minutes, stared into the forest. When he turned back to me his fingers were pinching the bridge of his nose and his eyes were closed. I hated myself for causing him such turmoil.
"In normal circumstances, I would not push for answers, I promise you that I would normally leave you to your musings. But Bella, this is obviously a problem…one that can only be bettered if it is talked through. I can assure you, promise you, that there is nothing in this life that could make me hate you or think any less of you. I love everything about you. I love you with my whole being. Just please talk to me, Bella. Talk to me. Tell me what it is that is eating away at you, that is making your sleep so full of horror that you awake screaming. It scares me, Bella."
"Stop it Edward, just stop it. Stop pushing me to tell you something that I can't! Please, please just leave it. It's a dream, a nightmare…nothing more." I pleaded with him.
"No, not this time Bella. I won't sit by and watch you cower in your sleep, smell your fear at a time when you should be peaceful. I can't just stand by and do nothing. Damn it Bella, I love you…I love you." The first stirrings of anger had crept into his voice.
It was my turn to stand up, I walked away from him, pacing, trying to calm down, to find away around this. Could I tell him the truth? Would he still look at me the same way? I know that the desires and pleasures that I find in the nightmares are something so alien to me, that they are the reason for my screams. But will he understand? I can't imagine any one understanding that. Hell, there are times that I worry that somewhere deep inside me there is enough darkness to warrant such macabre and sick fantasies. Where else would they come from?
But, what other choice did I have? I could walk out, we would fight and then what would happen? If I kept true to my stubborn streak and refused to talk to him about this, would he stop being there for me if I don't allow him this? Crap.
"Fine. Fine, I'll tell you. No questions, not until the end." I didn't look back at him.
"Anything Bella, anything, just let me help you." Good grief, I could almost feel his elation.
"I am always sitting in my bedroom, looking out of my window. After a while a girl comes running out from between the trees, screaming at me to help her, but I just…" I fought to keep my voice steady. I always hated remembering this part. "I just watch her, watch her scream, watch her call for me. I do nothing...I enjoy her fear." I shook my head and stare at the ceiling, picturing her tear stained face, so open and frozen at the same time, and frightened beyond reason. "Then he comes and I can feel him do something to her and she stills, just calms right down. Hell, she looks happy to see him, excited, aroused even, though I know that he is the one that she has been running from. She smiles at him, leans into him for God's sake. All the while my anticipation grows, excited and elated at what I am about to witness. I feel everything that she feels. He moves as if to kiss her, but he goes for her neck instead. That's when he lets her feel what she should be feeling, when she starts to scream and struggle. But I still feel the desire, the need and absolute pleasure…the blood lust." I swallowed convulsively, my voice barely audible even to my own ears, cracking slightly as I continue. "He bites her and I can feel it, taste it…I know its texture and the energy, the life that it possesses. I feel all of it. All of this time, he has been looking at me, watching me. Smiling at me. He knows me, he knows me Edward, but I have no idea who he is. After I…finish, I'm myself again and I see what he has done and know what it makes me feel. That's what makes me scream, the horror of what I felt. Nothing chases me in the dark, or jumps out from the shadows. Just me and the disgust and horror at myself and the man that made me feel that way."
Nothing, nada…silence. For all I knew, Edward had made a run for it and left me standing here, tear stained and afraid. Hating the weakness that I was feeling in that moment I turned around, ready to face whatever he had to throw at me. Expecting a look of shocked disgust to be on his face, just before asking me to leave the house. Instead, his face is full of such compassion that I almost fall to my knees in relief that he doesn't hate me. I say almost because that's when I notice that the rest of the family were standing close to the door. Just staring at me, their faces ranging from sorrow to compassion to shock.
You know the drill, let me know what you think! Should i continue? *smoochies*