A/N: Why hello there, Max Adler. Who would have known that Glee snagged actual talent when they cast Main Bully, or whatever Karofsky was first advertised as. Thanks for acting the hell out of your scenes with Chris and making my muse go crazy. I'd already been imagining the insane idea of Kurt and Karofsky interacting more, and angsty self-hate/denial and redemption stories are like crack to me, so this is literally a dream come true.
It was gradual.
It was gradual, and that pisses Dave off, because if it was a sudden, one-time event he'd know what had gone wrong, what he needed to fix. But as it stands all he knows is that one day in freshman year he'd realized that Kurt Hummel had gone from freak to fascinating in a way that girls were supposed to be, never boys.
The trips to the dumpster had started around that time.
But no matter what he does it just won't go away. Even throwing him into lockers doesn't force Hummel to blend in, to get out of Dave's head. It backfires, really, because pushing Hummel around means touching him, feeling soft skin and warmth under his hands, makes him wake up in the middle of the night with sticky sheets and fuck, that just makes him angrier. Makes him want to smash his fist into Hummel's face, pound him until he's black and blue, beat the fairy out of him. And then maybe Dave can be normal again.
He's supposed to be normal. He's big, and athletic, and loves hockey, everything his dad's ever wanted out of him. His dad knows what's normal, taught him from an early age that being a pussy is the worst thing to be. Be a man, his dad says. He used to laugh when his dad called something 'gay.'
Now all he can hear is 'I hate you.'
And now Hummel's right there in his face, so close, yelling about how he's never going to change, things are never going to change, and Dave's voice is going high and panicked because he's too close, the feel and smell of him making every inch of his skin hypersensitive, an angry buzzing in his ears sounding like 'nevernevernever,' and he can feel normal slipping between his grasping fingers and he's trying to hold on, needs to…
He surges forward, hands on Hummel's face and body pressed against the other boy as he kisses him, and—oh. Smooth, soft, thin lips against his, a body that's straight and thin and muscled feeling better than soft and curvy ever has. The tension smoothes out of him and the buzzing quiets and his problems disappear and for one amazing moment, everything's…perfect.
And then Kurt pushes him away, and it all shatters.