My first story was overrun when reviews after Never Been Kissed went ahead and proved me right about Karofsky's sexuality (Ryan Murphy needs to stop stealing my ideas...), so I went ahead and wrote a little sequel :D
The funny thing is that I don't even really ship this.
But, after writing this, I kind of do a bit. Well, only one-sided, but still.
Anyway, this is oh so very angsty, so prepare thyselves.
And, as always, REVIEWS ARE LOVE.
And I own nothing. Although, after Never Been Kissed, I'm not even sure any more...
Kurt/Karofsky fic Part Two
"I can't believe you're still denying it!" yelled Kurt.
"That's because nothing happened!" Dave roared, shoving the smaller boy away from him.
Why couldn't he just drop it?
"Why would I lie about that?" said Kurt, glaring. "Why would I make up something that life-scarring? You kissed me!"
Dave punched the locker right beside Kurt's head. He wished the stupid little fag would just drop it. Nothing happened. But Kurt didn't even flinch. He just narrowed his eyes.
"Are you actually going to hit me this time?" he said. "Or are you going to kiss me again? I just want to make sure I'm prepared."
"I swear, Hummel, just drop it," Dave said slowly. "Nothing happened. Just forget about it."
"I'd love to just forget about it," said Kurt. "Trust me, I give anything to be able to erase that horrible experience from my memory. But it happened, Karofsky! No matter how much you deny it, nothing it going to make it go away."
Dave shook his head, walking to the other side of the locker room with his head in his hands. All of this was so confusing. So conflicting. On the one hand, he wanted to beat the crap out of Hummel for doing this to him, for screwing with his head so much, for making him have so many faggy, messed up dreams, for being so goddamn pretty. But, on the other hand, he just wanted to kiss him again. Not the rough, hot, sexy kisses like in all his dreams. He wanted to kiss him softly and tenderly and – dare he say it – lovingly. And he wanted a beautiful smile to spread across Hummel's face afterwards instead of that look of horror. He wanted Hummel to kiss him back.
He hated himself for losing it. For so long he had managed to hold it all in, push all those scenes from his dreams into the back of his mind and see Hummel for what he was – a disgusting little fag. He could whale on that fairy and not even care. It was like Dave was punishing Hummel for making him think that way, for making him stare at that ass in those tight jeans or wonder just how soft his lips were. Because Dave Karofsky was not gay.
But now that he'd lost control of himself, now that he'd acted on his stupid emotions in the heat of that fight, Dave just didn't even know what to think. And it was so much easier to just pretend it never happened and carry on treating Hummel like shit than to actually face up to it all. Which is why his wished that Hummel would just drop it.
"Blaine and I were only trying to help you," he said.
"I don't need help from you and your boyfriend, okay!" Dave burst.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Firstly, Blaine is not my boyfriend. And secondly, you defiantly need help. You clearly haven't come to terms with who you are, and bullying me certainly isn't going to help you. It's just going to make things worse. Blaine and I just wanted to show you that you're not alone and you don't have to carry on acting like such an asshole to compensate. We understand."
"No, you don't!" he yelled, before he realised that he'd basically just admitted that it happened. And if he admitted it then that would mean that something happened. And nothing happened.
"Seriously, just drop it, Hummel," he said angrily. "And don't you dare tell anyone about this."
"Don't worry, Blaine's the only person I told," said Kurt. "As if I want the world to know that the first guy that ever kissed me was you."
Dave's expression softened slightly and he looked at Kurt with a start.
"I... I was your first?" he said quietly.
Kurt gave him a dirty look. "Congratulations. I have a feeling I'm going to be recounting that little experience to a therapist in years to come. You must be so pleased with yourself."
Dave didn't say anything. He wasn't sure how he felt about being Kurt's first kiss. But he knew that it made his stomach hurt to know that Kurt hated that fact so much.
"Look," said Kurt, folding his arms. "I get that you're confused. And you can deny it all you want, but it's not going to go away and you know it. You're just lying to yourself, and taking it out on me or anyone else brave enough to not be a closet case isn't going to make it better. Beating me up isn't going to make you straight. It's just going to make you a big gay hypocrite."
With a final look contempt, Kurt walked out of the locker room. And Dave didn't try and stop him. He didn't try and throw him against a locker and leave him bruised and sobbing on the floor. Instead he just let him walk away. Because he knew, deep down, that Kurt was right. And he hardly had the energy to argue any more.
He wished that he could just scream it from the rooftops, but he couldn't even say it to himself out loud. It was why he hated Kurt so much, and that stupid Blaine kid too. They knew exactly who they were, and they weren't going to change no matter what. Kurt pranced around that school like a flamer, with his freaky clothes and girly voice, and he was terrorized from the word go. But he never changed. And it made Dave feel like a coward, because that scrawny little queen had more guts than he did.
That night, just like every night, Dave dreamt of Kurt. But it wasn't like it usually was – the kind of dream that made him need a cold shower afterwards and left a sticky stain on his bed sheets. Instead he was kissing Kurt in the locker room again, gently holding both sides of his face, unable to hold back any more. But when he pulled away Kurt didn't look horrified. Surprised, but not horrified. And when he went to kiss him again, Kurt didn't push him away. In the dream, Kurt kissed him back with all the passion and the want that Dave had kissed him with. And when their lips separated again, the biggest and most beautiful smile spread across Kurt's face and his gorgeous bluey-greenish eyes lit up. Nothing but pure happiness.
"Oh, Dave," he whispered softly. "I had no idea. I had no idea you cared so much about me."
"I do," Dave replied, touching Kurt's cheek gently. "I love you. I love you so much."
There were tears of joy sparkling in Kurt's eyes as he said "I love you too."
And then they kissed again, and it was as if all the past was being washed away, all the harsh words and bullying faded into nothing. Dave felt happiness swell inside him as he held Kurt in his arms and kissed him, for how long he wasn't even sure. It could have gone on for days and he wouldn't have cared. He could have stayed like that forever...
And then he woke up. It took him a second to realise that it was just a dream, but when he did he could feel tears burning his eyes and his insides twisting in agony. Because that was one dream that was never going to come true. Yes, he'd kissed Kurt. He'd lost control and kissed him and, even though it hadn't turned out so great afterwards, those few seconds of heaven would stay with him forever. But he knew that his feelings – those painfully strong feelings that he could barely admit to himself – would never be reciprocated. Why would Kurt ever want a guy like him? How could Kurt do anything other than hate the guy that had made his life hell for so long? Why would Kurt ever stoop so low when he had someone as perfect as that Blaine kid?
Dave couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He was alone in his room, it was the middle of the night – it wasn't like there was anyone there to judge him for crying like a girl over Kurt Hummel.
Dave Karofsky had to face facts. He was a coward.
Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.
Don't forget to review! It's the only way I'll learn :D