AN: Hello, my fellow fic authors of the inter-web! It is I, Maggie, back from the dead-er, I mean...Back from...being lazy. Yeah, that works, being lazy. Here it is, mi amigos, my second ever fan fiction here on our beloved FF dot net! I haven't got much to say, for once, so...without further ado, I am proud to present to you, "The Big Fancy Mansion Room!"
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, sadly. However, due to whatever law allows all of us crazies to make up ridiculous stories about them, I DO have complete and total, absolute control over them for the time being. MWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA!
PS: The description of myself that is in here is entirely accurate, and the clothes that I'm wearing are all things that I really do have (the jacket is something I just got yesterday, as is the lacy black shirt. My mom works for a company that makes T-shirts, so me and my bro have all these awesome, custom, one-of-a-kind shirts, and the T-shirt that I'm wearing above the long-sleeve lacy one is one of the ones she made for me). The only thing I left out about is my glasses, which I did on purpose because I hardly ever wear them, anyway. I have an unadulterated loathing for those things. *makes face*
Chapter One: The Gathering
Elphaba looked around, rather confusified. One minute, she'd been wrapped in her lover's arms, safe and warm, and the next, she was...Where was she? "Fiyero?" she called. Her voice echoed. She seemed to be standing in an empty white nothingness. "Fae? Is that you?" came Fiyero's equally echoy voice. "Fiyero! Where are you?"
"Uh...I'm not entirely sure..." Suddenly, Glinda appeared beside Elphaba. "Elphie!" the blonde cried, throwing herself at her best friend. "Glinda...can't...breathe..." Elphaba choked out. "Oh! Sorry!" Glinda said, pulling back quickly as a light rosy blush rose to her cheeks. Fiyero walked up just then-and he wasn't straw! "Fifi!" Glinda squealed as she pounced on him, as well. "Good to see you, too, Glin. Now, could you please get off? I'm having trouble breathing." She pulled back, blushing once more. Then Nessa popped up along with Boq, who was still tin. Soon, the Wizard and Madame Morrible were there, too. "Elphaba?" Nessa asked. "Where are we?"
"I'm...not...quite sure, to be honest," her older sister replied. Suddenly, there was a bright flash, of green, blue, black, and pink light. The group shielded their eyes. When the light faded, Elphaba slowly lowered her arms, followed by the others, one by one.
A young girl no older than 13 stood with her hands on her hips, beaming at them. She had shoulder-length, dark brown hair and hazel eyes. She wore plain blue jeans from Delia*s, and a pair of black Prague lace-up ankle boots. She had on a pink T-shirt that said "Toss toss" on it in all lower case white letters surrounded by little diamond/sparkle thingies. Under the T-shirt the girl wore a long-sleeve black lace shirt that you could see through, which is why she had the T-shirt on over it. She also had on a faux leather jacket made by "Say What?" with an attached belt. Her nails were painted in an alternating pattern; the left hand, starting at the thumb, going to the pinkie finger, went black, green (with sparkles actually in the nail polish), black, green, black. The right hand, going the same way, went green, black, green, black, green. "Hello, people of Wicked!" she said with a cheerful wave.
She marched up to them, still grinning. A transparent green clipboard appeared in her hand along with a fountain pen. She uncapped the pen and put the cap on the end and looked at the clipboard. "Now, I need to make sure you're all here...Let's see...Elphaba, check," she put a check mark next to Elphaba's name on her list. "Fiyero, check...Glinda, check...Nessarose, check...Boq, check...Wizard," the girl scowled when she said this and her voice got slightly harsh, "check...Morrible," again, she scowled and said it hatefully, "check. Alright, looks like we're all here!" she said looking up at them and putting the cap back on the pen, then sliding it into the space between the clip and the clipboard. "Uh, excuse me."
"How come Fiyero gets to be human and I don't?"
"Oh! Right, sorry! I guess I just forgot! Here, just a second." A small end table appeared next to her and she set the clipboard down on it after retrieving the pen. A dark green binder appeared in her hands. It was supposed to be a one-inch thick binder, but it was so crammed full of a bazillion pieces of notebook paper that it was probably closer to two inches, now. There was a piece of printer paper attached to the front with masking tap on all four corners. There were tears and rips all along the edges and ink smudges, too. It said in black sharpie, "MINE. NO TOUCHY. GO AWAY. THIS MEANS YOU, FRANKLIN, AND ESPECIALLY YOU, EVAN WOODS." Uncapping the pen once more, the girl opened it up and flipped through until she found the page she was looking for. "Ah-ha! Here it is!" She started to write something in it furiously, then looked up smiling, re-capped the pen, and closed the binder. "Wait one second." she said. A moment later, Boq was human again. "Yes!" he said, punching the air. "Always glad to help!" the girl said. "So, uh, who exactly are you?" Elphaba asked. The girl turned to her, smiling sympathetically with a kind look in her hazel eyes. "I prefer not to say my name in a fan fiction, cuz you never know what kind of creepy stalker people might read this crap, so for internet safety reasons, I'm just known as Maggie here on FF."
"Why Maggie?" Fiyero asked. "Because it's a shorter version of my middle name, which is Margaret. Plus, it's Irish for 'pearl,' and I love Irish stuff! It's also the name of one of the characters in one of my favorite book series, other than the Wicked Years, of course." Maggie frowned. "Dagnabbit!" she said. "I thought I set this darn thing to 'big fancy mansion room!'" Looking up at the sky, she yelled, "HEY! YOU GUYS! QUIT FOOLING AROUND WITH THE SETTINGS! PUT IT BACK TO WHERE I HAD IT!" A deep male voice from somewhere above their heads yelled, "MAKE US!" then started laughing along with a few other male voices and two females. "Guuuuuys," Maggie said threateningly to the mysterious voices. "I'm serious! Put. The settings. Back!"
"PBBBBBBBBBBTH!" The voices erupted into hysterical laughter. "Alright, THAT'S it!" Maggie stomped her foot, fists balled at her side. "EMMETT MCCARTHY CULLEN, YOU ARE UNDER HOUSE ARREST FROM NOW UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! AND THAT GOES FOR ANYONE ELSE I FIND UP THERE, TOO! WHEN I'M DONE DOWN HERE, EMMETT, I AM TAKING AWAY ALL OF YOUR VIDEO GAMES AND THE SYSTEMS, ALL OF YOUR STUPID 'BLUE COW HUNTING EQUIPMENT,' YOUR COMPUTER, THE HD TV...AND WHATEVER ELSE I CAN THINK OF! AND IF YOU TRY TO HIDE ANYTHING, I'LL...I'LL...I'LL STICK YOU INSIDE MR. BOX FOR THE NEXT...UNTIL THE END OF JANUARY!" There was a cry of horror. "YES, MA'AM, MAGGIE, MA'AM!" the voice said.
After a moment, the empty white nothingness turned into a huge, fancy living room with an HD TV set, all of the latest video game systems and games, a giant DVD and CD collection, a surround sound stereo system, two fancy chairs, an equally fancy love-seat and lounge, a big bookcase, a fire place for if anybody got cold, a crystal chandelier, and an all-you-can-eat buffet of everbody's favorite snacks and drinks, including Maggie's. There was even a ginormous bowl filled with every type of candy imaginable, a chocolate fountain, and, in addition to the fountain drink-thingy with every type of soda ever invented, two soda machines for if you wanted it in a can or a plastic bottle.
"Ta-da!" Maggie said proudly. She picked up a remote control and pressed a button. The soundtrack from "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" started playing on the stereo (which could hold four CDs at once). The song was one of Maggie's favorites on the album, "The Violet Hour" by the band Sea Wolf. "Come on in, everybody! Get comfortable, make yourselves at home!" Elphaba and Fiyero claimed the love-seat and Glinda plopped into an over-stuff arm-chair next to them. Boq put Nessa's chair next to the sofa and sat on it while Maggie fell back onto the lounge and stretched her legs out. The Wizard and Madame Morrible, however, were left with no place to sit. Noticing this, Maggie said, "Oh, would you look at that? There aren't enough seats to go around! Silly me, and I thought there were. Hm. Oh, well! What a shame, it appears the two of you will just have to stand! Unless, of course, you want to sit on the floor?" She raised her eyebrows, hardly able to contain her smile. They both just stood there. Maggie just shrugged. "Alright, then. Suit yourselves." Her tone clearly indicated that she had planned for this to happen, and she made no effort to hide it.
Elphaba smirked. She rather liked this Maggie girl, whoever she was. "So, why exactly are we here?" she asked. "Oh!" Maggie said, sitting up. "OK, well, I decided to do one of those things where readers send in reviews with questions, dares, etc. for you guys, because I've sent in questions and dares for that kind of thing before, and doing them looked like fun, so I figured, 'why not?' and now, here we all are!" Silence fell over the room. Boq groaned. "Oh, no, not another one!" Nessa said in exasperation. "Would it help if I told you that you or Boq will most likely be dared to kiss the other one? Or that I'm planning on some Bessa fluff in the parody I'm working on?" Nessa perked up considerably upon hearing this. Boq merely looke back and forth between the two brunettes, a look of horror on his face.
Maggie stood up and the lounge instantly vanished so that Morrible and the Wizard wouldn't get any ideas and try to sit on it. She picked up the same remote she'd used to turn on the music Turning towards the large empty space between the TV and the fire place, she aimed the remote and pushed a button. A large screen came out of the ceiling. Maggie pushed another button. The version of image from the cover of the Wicked novel that had been done with real people appeared on the screen with the Wicked logo at the bottom in green. "Ladies and gentlemen," Maggie said. "And Morrible and the Wizard," she added, causing them to scowl. "What you see here is our only means of contact with the readers. You see, what will happen is this: People send in reviews asking you questions, giving you dares, etc. I will then read the reviews, edit out any crude language that may be used-and rightfully so, I might add-to refer the pair of nubs over there," she gestured to the Wizard and Morrible, who scowled even more fiercely, "or that may be directed at them. We're going to try to keep this down to at least a K+ rating. Once any and all necessary editing has been done, the next time I come in here to see all of you, I will be carrying a stack of index cards with the reviews on them. If any editing was done to them, they will be in their edited form. I'll read the reviews out loud to everybody one at a time, and after I'm done reading, the review will appear on the screen so that if at any point during the dare or while answering the question, if you need to know what it says again, you can just look at the screen and read it for yourself. Any questions so far?" Nessa raised her hand. "Yes, Nessarose?" Maggie said. "I was wondering...Where are we supposed to sleep? Or bathe and change clothes for that matter?"
"Oh, I almost forgot!" She looked up and called, "ALICE!" A female voice that sounded like tinkling bells said from above, "ON IT, MAGS!" A moment later, four doors appeared on the far wall, each one decorated with different designs and in different colors. Standing next to the first door, which was decorated with intricate swirling patterns and painted in black, green, and blue, Maggie said, "Elphaba, Fiyero, the two of you will be sharing a room with each other. Right through here."
Moving to the next door, with carvings of flowers, hearts, and other girly things, and painted in pink and purple, she said, "Glinda, this is your bedroom."
Taking another step, she moved onto the next one. It was decorated with carvings of various types of musical notes and painted a pale lavender color. "Nessarose, I wasn't sure what type of thing you would want carved onto your door, so I just went with musical notes. I hope that's okay."
The last door had carvings of axes on it and was painted mostly orange, but the axes has brown handles and the blades were painted in metallic silver. "Boq, I tried to think of something better to put on yours, but every time I tried to come up with something, the only thing that I could picture in my mind was the stupid axes. Also, I entirely sure what color you might like, so I just picked a random one. I hope you don't mind. Sorry." Maggie looked a little sheepish and a light rosy blush rose to her pale creamy cheeks.
"What about us?" Morrible demanded. Maggie crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow incredously at the fishy-looking woman and the old man next to her, making her look very much like the young teenager that she was. "You?" she said. "You two are sleeping in here." As she spoke, Maggie went to the spot that was halfway between the doors and the two small stair steps that separated them from the rest of the room. She lifted the rug on the floor and started fiddling around with something underneath. There was a soft click, and she lifted up a trapdoor. The two older people gaped at her in disbelief. She smirked triumphantly as she went up the steps. "Sweet dreams," she told the pair mockingly.
Turning to the others, she said, "Everybody get a good nights' sleep, we've got a big day ahead of us! Elphaba, Fiyero, you guys can do whatever it is you two do in bed for one hour tops, but then it's lights out. I don't want anybody to be tired and half-asleep tomorrow. Everybody have sweet dreams, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite! If anybody needs me, I'll be...uh...Well, the point is, I'm not just gonna lock you all in and then abandon you, that comes in a later story...maybe...I think...I dunno, I'm still debating whether or not to write that one. And remember, you two, one hour only!" Once they had all gone into their rooms, Maggie turned around to look at the readers. "So, everybody, you have questions, you have dares, you have whatever for any of these lovely (and two not so lovely) people, you know what to do! Just click the little blue link at the bottom of the screen that says 'Review this Chapter/Story,' send 'em in, and I'll get around to yours as soon as I can!" Then she raised an eyebrow, smiled, and glanced over her shoulder. Putting a finger to her lips, she tip-toed to the trapdoor, closed the padlock, then put the rug over it, and left the room, rubbing her hands together and chuckling evilly to herself.
AN: So, I think that the last thing I said in that final paragraph just about says it all...REVIEW!
Maggie & the gang