Ever since she was a little girl, Amano Toko didn't cry much. Naturally, she had when her parents had passed away, but since then, tears had been a rare thing for the girl. She lived her life as the happy, optimistic girl she always enjoyed being, facing adversity head on and without fear.
When she had heard that Inoue Miu had stopped writing, she hadn't cried.
When Konoha had started to face so many of his past demons, and he started slowly breaking, she hadn't cried.
When she had caught Konoha nearly falling off the side of a building alongside his childhood friend, who had coerced him into doing so with her ... she hadn't cried.
When she realized that she couldn't stay by his side forever, she hadn't cried. Not the first time, anyway.
After he had kissed her, however, just before she stepped back onto the train that was supposed to take her toward her future ... amidst all the shock of seeing his figure become smaller and smaller on the platform as the train took her farther and farther away, she felt this odd sort of numbness that permeated her entire being.
Toko thought she had steeled herself for this moment. This was supposed to be a happy train, right? This happy train was taking her to another part of her life, and beginning a new part of Konoha's life as well. Certainly, she hadn't wanted to leave him, but she had to. The both of them had their own lives to live, and she knew, she just iknew/i that Konoha was going to go on to bigger, better, much better things than merely writing her snacks every evening in the dim light of the literature club room.
But when he had shocked her in such a way ...
It was then that she realized just how much she didn't want to leave him.
And it was then that she realized it was far too late to get off the train, run to him, and hold him as tightly as possible. The feelings she suddenly felt were overwhelming, far more powerful than anything she had ever gotten from any of the books she had ever read.
Amano Toko didn't cry easily. She had cried when her parents passed away, but afterward, it was a rarity.
As the night train took her to a new life in Hokkaido, however, she slumped down in her seat, eyes filling with tears.
After staring at the ground for several moments, absolutely numb from what had just transpired, she put her head in her hands and cried.
She didn't care who saw her, who felt sorry for her, and who tried to calm her down enough to tell what happened. At that moment, Toko felt that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.
She needed to cry.
And so, she cried.
[author's jargon] I honestly can't believe this site doesn't have a section for this series yet. It's a wonderful, beautiful series, and it has very quickly become my favorite anime/manga series of all time. For those not in the know, this series is called Bungaku Shoujo. This fanfiction was written from a scene in the anime movie, one that makes me cry now. Thanks, Konoha muse.
After seeing this scene again ... and again, and again, and again, I just had to write something for it. So, I did. This is what I think Toko's feelings would have been after that scene at the train station.
Another thing: people who know the series may argue my spelling of Toko's name. First off, allow me to give you massive hugs for knowing this series to begin with. Second, I have seen her name spelled three different ways: Tooko, Touko, and Toko. I chose to use Toko. I don't believe that there is really any big deal that needs to be made about the spelling of her name, considering there are so many different spellings out there. Toko is Touko is Tooko. Plain and Simple.
... that said, I write this story because I have an immense love for this series, and wish to write for it. I adore this character, and I adore her co-star, Inoue Konoha. Actually, I adore all the characters in this series. It's a wonderful series, go watch it if you haven't already.