Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all here.

A/N: Hi, first story here. I've never written anything before, but I had this story in my head for a long time and I needed to either write it or stop watching the series. And as it's not going to happen, I decided I'd rather sit on the computer and open my wordpad.

Please be easy on me, at least on the case aspects, I wish I had the series writer's talent but I know my limitations. And English is not my first language so please forgive my grammar, should you find a mistake.

As Jane went down the steps to the basement and he started hearing faint human noises, panic raised through his veins up to his throat. Somehow he lost the ability to breath for a second, as he recalled the moment his worst recurring nightmare had become a reality.

15 hours earlier

Jane came bursting into Hightower's office. He didn't look his cheering usual self, but Hightower didn't raise her head from the documents she was working on.

"Something happened to Lisbon".

"I'm sure Agent Lisbon is just a bit late, Patrick".

"She doesn't answer the phone. She always does, but this morning, she doesn't".

Hightower still didn't answer.

"Madeleine. Madeleine look at me". His voice was rising and Hightower finally met his eyes. The look on his face had a hint of... was that panic? Hightower was usually a calm person, but she knew better than to dismiss Jane's concern. His instincts were normally right, and she could see he was genuinely worried about Lisbon.

"OK, I'll tell Rigsby to go and check at her address".

"The team is in San Francisco, working on that case... the money laundering one. It will take them a full one and a half hours to get back here. I've already called them but it's going to be a while. I'm going to Lisbon's".

"And the guys haven't heard of her yet today?", Hightower was starting to get anxious too.

"No, nothing". Jane was a short step from shaking.

"OK, we're both going to her place, let me get the address-".

"I know where she lives, let's go".

Hightower started rolling some calls, sat in the passenger seat of Jane's Citroen, while he drove through the streets of Sacramento. The speed was quite over the top, but Hightower didn't say anything. She looked from time to time to his face, which was contorted in a mixture of anxiousness, worry... and probably something else. But she didn't say anything.

She didn't say anything when she saw his fingers were turning white, as he held the steering wheel with such force he was stopping the blood circulation of his hands.

She didn't try to stop him when he picked the lock of Lisbon's house. She didn't say anything when he busted inside and made the way up the stairs, deciding on raiding the lower floor herself.

He was just half way up when he saw the paper taped to her door and he stumbled forward, suddenly wrapped by genuine panic. He tried to collect himself as he got to the door and read the note.

Dear Mr Jane,

You still think you can fool me by pulling away from everyone, but I'm no fool. I have been watching you, and I've see past your facade. I've seen past hers, too.

If you open this door, you won't find the scene you expect. You would probably like this to be over quick and easy, but I am more inclined to the slow and painful with your lovely friend.

I would love to share the fun, but you know it is not possible. Nevertheless, I will make sure the coroner can give you a full report when you recover her body.

Lisbon's cross pendant was hung on the doorknob. Jane took it, and kept it in his right hand while he looked again at the piece of paper stuck to the door. And suddenly, everything turned black.

It was a full two hours later when he started being aware of the situation around him.

He was sat in Lisbon's living room, surrounded by the noise of the forensics looking for any evidence. He felt his neck was wet, but the room was cold, and he wondered if he was running a fever. It was when a crying Van Pelt placed her thumbs under his eyes and lightly rubbed the skin there, that he realised the wetness drenching his collar came from the tears running freely down his face.

"Jane, please, we need you. Lisbon needs you. If anyone can help find her, it's you". Van Pelt's voice was barely a whisper, shaking under her own tears.

"What happened to me?" his own voice sounded foreign to him.

"You... you collapsed. Hightower demanded every CBI agent into the house, plus the FBI, and we've been doing everything we can. The paramedics helped you meanwhile and they gave you a sedative... Hightower... well Hightower says you went a bit crazy before collapsing, and she didn't want any risks".

"No doubt I can barely move my face".

"But the effect will be gone shortly, Jane! And we need you cold-headed! I... I know you care a lot about Lisbon, but Red John said he's not killing her immediately! She has a chance!".

Grace had put her hands around Jane's clenched fists and was looking at him directly in the eyes. There were still tears in hers, but there was also a determination, a look that said this is not over yet. Jane looked away to see Cho and Rigsby, who had been sharing their finds with Hightower, all looking at him intently.

He needed to move now.

"All right, let's go". Van Pelt smiled widely at him and went back to work.

Jane was just about to put his hands on Lisbon's couch and help his still slightly stiff body get up, when he realised he still had them tightly closed. He felt something in the right one and opened it. Lisbon's cross was there, having already imprinted its shape on his palm. No one had notice he was holding it, not even the paramedics. It might be evidence, he knew it, and he knew he should probably hand it in.

He should, but he never followed the rules.

He should, but he knew there were no fingerprints beside Lisbon's and his. Red John was careful.

He should, but it was the pendant that had been left there, not Lisbon's body. And that gave hum the slightlest feeling of hope. And that should be enough.

He kept the cross in his vest's pocket instead.

A/N: The story is almost completely written and I know where I want it to go, so you'll have an update soon. I just want to know if it's worth continuing it or not. It should probably be around three or four chapters :)