Timeline: during New X-Men (I) #123-124
A/N: This was supposed to be a Esme slash fic. Somehow it turned into this. I have no idea why. But the line is still valid.
A/N2: Dialogue from the issues.
Feedback: is a must!
Disclaimer: Not mine. I play with other people's toys.
First Posted: July 24, 2010


"Try not to let this experience put you off boys, Esme." Miss Frost said in that condescending tone of hers as the boy they knew as Kato (but really turned out to be an ugly beast of the Shi'ar) attacked the school. Their teacher threw herself on top of all five of them, shielding them from the blast. But even in the dire circumstances that surround them, girls rolled their eyes.

Unfortunately, that gave the invading forces enough time to overpower Miss Frost and round the girls, along with the majority of the student population to the centre of the courtyard. They'd gotten some sort of helmet on Miss Frost that covered her entire face seemed to be blocking her telepathy. Over the memories of the other students, the Cuckoos could just make the sound of claws *snikt*-ing and the following unmistakable whisper of bodily dismemberment. And they weren't the only ones.

"You hear that?" 'Kato' asked no one in particular.

"That's the noise Wolverine makes when he's chopping people like you into quivering lumps." Sophie informed him, more than a little smug.

The... thing glowered at them. "Quite! This is STUFF to superdestroyer... seven mutants are a sterilisation."

It's clear that he said it more as a threat to them then an actual update to his superiors. All five girls ignored him and turned to each other.

"Are we friends again?" Phoebe asked Esme, her arms crossed. Esme mirrored the gesture.

"Well, that depends." Her sister replied, stubbornly.

"None of us would ever say we told you so, but you charming prince did turn into an ugly space frog."

So predictable, the frog in question sniped, "At least I'm not stuck in one hard shape the way you solid-oids are!" The Five-in-One shared a moment of victory.

"STUFF!" Lady Sybil yelled, "You've already been cautioned against morphism!"

Telepathically, the Cuckoos smiled and the bond they shared that had been frayed recently was reaffirmed. "We don't think you should be distracting yourself by talking to him." Celeste chided as she and her sisters slipped past the Shi'ar's mental defences. "Because you only have one mind, Oracle."

"Together, we are the Five-in-One. The Stepford Cuckoos." All five girls chimed in unison as they pulled Oracle into her mental hellscape. "Your mind armor it's pathetic." They taunted, aware such behaviour was undignified, but unable to resist. "We can easily think around it now. And we're leaving you on a track in your head that's hard to get off."

Oracle screamed inside her mind as the Five-in-One withdrew. They turned to the thing responsible for their separation the last few days. "As for you..." They began. STUFF took a step back.

"I'm not a morphist...!" He began, as though that would make any difference.

"Freak." Angel gave him a firm right-cross across the jaw and he went down soundly, transforming back into his natural, freaky form. As Angel held her sore a hand, the Five-in-One surrounded creep.

"Oh look... its body might be made of sophisticated pseudoplasm, but its mind is pathetically simple." Mindee analysed verbally.

"We can program its mind and body." Celeste continued as Sophie went over to Miss Frost and see if she could help to remove the ugly, incapacitating helmet. She was unable to find any way to remove it though, so she led their teacher over to the nearest bench so she could at least sit down.

"Well, now we know that he can be the perfect boyfriend." Phoebe bit off.

Sophie returned to her sisters and the Five-in-One turned to address Angel. "These horrible space-super heroes are going to kill everyone." Esme began.

"Angel, if you run away they'll only come after you and kill you in the end." Celeste warrant. Angel crossed her arms defensively.

"I know you hate us as much as we hate you, but we're the resistance now." Esme gestured to all of them, "You look like you've experienced more violence than the rest of us put together." Angel scowled but didn't disagree.

"Do you have any idea how to fight super heroes?" Celeste asked Angel. The winged mutant narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah. Dirty, I bet."

The Stepford Cuckoos nodded, smiling slowly. *You know, I think we like her.* They thought in unison.