Hello my faithful readers! I'm back, and hopefully here to stay! I promise I have not given up on my other stories, I just go in and out of inspiration all of the time, but I promise I will continue the others soon! But for now, this is my latest idea, one I am excited about, as I have a lot of research cut out for myself (which for some reason, being the dork I am, ends up being one of my favourite parts of writing :D). I would especially appreciate reviews, as they always trigger my inspiration to fly :)

I would like to quickly take a moment and thank my friend Keira for helping me out with this chapter and proof reading it for me and what not. Thanks a bunch, hun, it means a lot to me that you liked it! :D

Now, before I go on rambling forever, I'd like to quickly say that I've gotten ADDICTED to reading Mentalist FFs, so if any of you have recommendations of fics I should read, whether they are your own or ones you've liked, please shoot me a private message and let me know, because I'd be glad to read ANYTHING! :D Anywho, thanks a bunch everyone who reads, and please enjoy! :D

Disclaimer- You know, I've read a lot of witty disclaimers where I always think "hahaha, now why didn't I think of that?" and I'd like to say good job to all of you people who come up with those hysterical ones, they really make my day :)

Pain, Death, and Losing You

Lisbon sat alone in the kitchen in the CBI Headquarters. It was three in the morning, an unusual time for anyone to be there, but not an unusual time for Teresa Lisbon. She had been working until she fell asleep at her desk around one, only to have woken up again ten minutes before three due to a shooting pain in her neck from the uncomfortable position. Now, she was waiting for her coffee to brew. It would be at least another two hours before anyone else showed up, and it would be worthless to go home now, as she'd have to be back in a few hours anyway. She figured she could get in a few hours of peaceful working until everyone else got there. Although, she'd have to do as much work as she could to get the giant pile of paperwork off her desk before Jane showed up. He was more distracting than anything she had ever seen before, and she never got any work done with him around.

The loud beeping of the coffee machine brought her back from her thoughts. She stood abruptly, wincing at a strange pain in her chest as she took a breath in. Must have been from the way I slept, she thought, continuing to the coffee pot. She lifted her travel mug from the sink, where she had just washed it, and poured the new, hot coffee inside. She took a sip of the plain black coffee, letting the bitterness wake her even more. She poured creamer and some sugar into it before leaving the kitchen.

She began to walk towards her office, stopping and resting her hand on Van Pelt's desk chair as the office seemed to begin to spin around her. I really need to wake up. She waited for the spinning sensation to stop before continuing into the dark room. She flicked on the light, allowing her eyes to adjust before setting her coffee down at her desk. Her heavy eyelids dared to close, but she fought, having the sudden idea on how to wake herself up more. She walked to the bathroom and stood over the sink while she splashed cold water over her face. She felt better instantly, drying off with a paper towel and then going back to her office to do more work.

Lisbon finally sat back down in her desk chair, pulling herself closer to the desk and reaching for a case file. She began to do work, paper after paper, case after case. It was soon five o'clock and she heard the elevator ding as the first person arrived. Stopping for a moment, she reached into her bag and grabbed a hair brush, quickly throwing her hair into a pony tail. She looked like shit, and she felt like shit, but hopefully no one would notice. Or even if they did, hopefully they wouldn't make a big deal. Who was she kidding, she worked with Patrick Jane. Maybe this one time, Jane would show some compassion and understanding.

Or maybe she could just throw on some makeup before he got there.


Everyone had gotten there around 5:30, and Lisbon was fully makeup-ed by the time Jane arrived. She was surprised he hadn't noticed her greasy hair or the dark circles under her eyes. Or if he had noticed, she was surprised he didn't say anything about it. But the day went on, and Lisbon finished all of her paper work by twelve. The day was calm, nothing going on and no cases in progress; the last one being solved, thanks to Jane, in under two days. Lisbon looked out her office window at the other members of her team. Cho sat at his desk, leaning back comfortably in his chair with his nose stuck in his newest book. Rigsby and Van Pelt were talking and eating their lunch at the table in the bull pen used for their meetings. She was in a whole other room, and even from there, she could tell they were flirting. Lisbon was almost sure nothing would come of it, due to Van Pelts latest relationship with the FBI agent O'Loughlin. Although, a deep part of her wished things had worked out for the two young agents, as Lisbon could tell they were truly (and maybe still are) in love.

Lisbon turned her attention to her lazy consultant who was sleeping peacefully on his couch. She watched his chest rise and fall, and suddenly yearned for the peaceful sleep he obviously was enjoying. She turned her head away, as the mere sight was making herself drowsy. She picked up her coffee mug and brought it to her lips, attempting to get one last sip from her fourth cup since three that morning. No such luck. She closed the last Manila folder she had been working on (and finished, thanks to the peace and quiet of her office) and stood, mug in hand. As she left her office, her teams eye fell on her.

"Nice to finally see you taking a break." Cho stated from behind his book.

"I'm not taking a break, I finished." she released a relieved sigh as she progressed to the kitchenette.

"Boss," Van Pelt said as Lisbon re-entered the room with her fifth coffee in hand, "you were here before all of us, even Jane. How long have you been here?"

Lisbon took a minute before conjuring up a good- no, not a lie, she just left out part of the truth. "I was working at five." but I started working at three after taking a quick break from one to two fifty.

"Your lying. I can hear it in your voice." Jane's eyes remained closed as he spoke.

"I am not." she scoffed.

"You were here much earlier than five. I mean, you're even wearing the same clothes from yesterday." his eyes were still closed as he made the correct assumption. He had barely seen her all morning, how had he known?

Shit, I forgot about that, she thought, angry at herself for having overlooked such a detail. "Just, lay off okay?" she said with her normal 'bite me' tone and stormed into her office. Usually she never would have been that touchy. But something about today had just made her feel weird. The weird pain in her chest that morning, the room spinning, the gross feeling she had all over from not being clean, the hour and fifty minutes of sleep she had gotten. Everything just made her grumpy.

Hastily, she packed up her bag and threw on her jacket. "I'm going home to take a shower." she called over her shoulder, "Call me if anything happens." She'd only be gone for a few minutes, nothing important would happen.


Lisbon has gotten home fairly quicker than most days and stepped into her shower right away. The warmth and steam helped sooth her quick temper and helped open her airways, which had seemed to get tighter and tighter as she became more and more tense. She stood for five minutes in the first relaxed moment she had allowed herself in months before continuing on and finishing her shower. As she washed her hair, however, she felt her chest tighten and it became gradually more painful. Although, it wasn't too intense, she waited for it to stop before she began to think about what could have caused the abnormal feeling. Maybe it's from how I slept. Or the lack of sleep. She stood, finished rinsing her hair and turned the shower off, now setting out to find a nice, hot cup of anything and use the last moments she had in her home to relax without Jane by her side to badger her.

She had just stepped out of the shower when her phone began to ring. Wrapping a towel around herself quickly, she ran out of the bathroom to search for her cell phone. Finally finding it on the floor in her pants pocket, she answered it right away.

"Lisbon." she sat on the bed, pulling the towel tighter around herself to block the draft of air she began to feel.

"Hey, Boss, we got a case. Wanna meet us at the crime scene? We're about to leave now." Van Pelt spoke wearily, careful not to say anything that would aggravate her boss who was already not in such a good mood.

"Ya, I'll meet you guys there. Just text me the directions so I have them for the ride."

"Sure thing." Lisbon could hear the clicking of keys on Van Pelt's phone before she came back to the conversation, "Alright, I've sent them. We'll see you in a bit, then."

"Thanks, bye." she hung up and searched for the text, finally finding it and saving the directions to the GPS in her phone. She got dressed and was soon downstairs in her kitchen waiting for her tea to brew, hoping the tea would help her chest feel less tense than the coffee. She finally poured the hot tea into another travel mug and placed her first one in the sink. Lisbon gave one last sigh before leaving out into what appeared to be another stressful day.

Soooooo, thoughts? Ideas? Guesses? Suggestions? I'm not kidding when I say I'd appreciate anything in a review :) I hope you all enjoyed it! :D

-Devon xoxo