I woke up on a giant black silk gothic victorian bed in a really dark and morbid room. It was super awesome and scary. I got up and walked gracefully toward the looking glass mirror. i was wearing different clothes! i was wearing a super sexy black dress with a loooooooooong trail, black corset and shoulder sleeaves and fishnets. My make-up was really cool too with black eyeshadow and black lipstick. I was so hot. I had to wonder who had got me these awesome clothes from Ye old Hot Topic when i heard a knock at the door!

'Fuck off!' I yelled sadly, I was so sad that I was a prisoner even though it was such an awesome gothic castle!
'But i've brought you a bloody mary' said the posh english voice. How did it know i loved gothic drinks like bloody marys!I opened the door and screamed, there was a motherfucking gothic talking teapot!

'i'm mistress Darkness Potts, I'm filled with blood marys, eat me drink me (get it lol?)' The gothic teapot said. I picked up the gothic teapot and peeked inside to see it was so. The teapot was pale white with red eyeliner and black eyeshadow on and black lipstick. I sucked on her spout (perv!) downed all the booze. it was so good because i love booze.

'How can you talk?' I asked amazed that the teapot was like talking to me. Darkness Potts laughed evily at me but then got all depressed. I'm sure if she had wrists she'd be slitting them right now, that's how sad she was! 'Wat's the matter, Darkness Potts?' I asked sweetly cuz im nice.

'Well I wasn't always a pott all happened on a cold dark winter's night...You see, the master of the castle was in a band. He was the leader singer in Satan's hells gothic angels. and he was having a gig at thye castle when suddenly there was a knock at the dorr! He opened the door, becuz he's awesome like that, and this preppy bitch comes in. She had blonde hair and wore skanky pink clothes and looked just like that ugly fucking bitch paris hilton! and she came in and was like "omg you fooking goffs! ewww!" and then she phoned her dad who was that wizard dude Nicholas Cage and he turned us into furnature cuz he was high on drugs. How depressing is that?'

'omfg!' I said, angry at that fucking ignorant skank. 'that's soo sad!' I said, wiping a black tear from my beautful eye.

'I know! I can't even wear my hot clothes anymore, I had to give them to you!' Suddenly said a voice. I spun around sexily to see that the wardrobe was talking too! WTF?

'Holy shit! Did you take off my clothes and give me these sexy ones?' I asked the hot gothfic wardrbe while Darkness Potts was being depressed in the corner.

'Yes! because I'm a lesbain and you're soooo fuckin hawt! i got to see you naked and everything.!' The Wardobe said shyily. I laughed, cuz i didn't mind cuz i was bi. But then Darkness Potts stopped crying and hopped sadly over.

'But now ur all hot Bella, you have to come to dinner with the master'

'I ain't going anywhere with him, he's a werewolf! (team Edward!)' I said angirly, i hated the beast! he was so mean! I cross my arms and sat sulkily on the bed.

'But you have too! he's the master and he'll whip you if you don't!' Wardronb said scardilly.i pouted and stayed seated. Fuck him. Just then there was a a HUGE bang at the door!

' Will you come to dinner?' The beast growled evily.
' fuck off' 'OMFG WUT? you're coming to dinner now!' He yelled, he got all pissed. ' omg li8ke fuck off!' I yelled sadly, it was soooo aweful!
'Fine, skrew you bitch. Strave!' He yelled, slammed the door and started playing his lute guitar thing rilly loud. I started to cry, he was so mean and evil!

just then a frickin walking clock walked in the room, he was an emo named Clogswork.

'hey bella don't be sad, wanna smoke some weed?' He said giving me a joint. 'Hellyeah !' I said.

So we went into the dinning room and all got high. Clogswork was being emo so he was thorwing himself about to hurt himself, Darkness potts got felt up by some tissues, I made out with the wardrobe and a sexy gothic candle stick called Lumer was dancing and singing with all the empty beer bottles. it was crazzzzzy.

AN: Thanks for the reviews guys! although fucking PAULA hasn't reviewed. Some fucking friend you are!